It is all about support and how to make it more fun, easier and fulfilling so that you can step into those actions with ease. This is your Badass Durney podcast. I am Kereen Walsh, serial entrepreneur, growth strategist, executive leadership coach and best-selling author. Each week I will bring you a guest or thought that will help you align what you love with what you do in order to build that bad ass life and business you dream of.
Welcome everybody to another episode of your Badass Durney podcast. I'm your host Kereen Walsh and I am so excited that you have joined me today. Cause let me tell you what I've been struggling with. Cause I know some of you might be going through this as well.
It periodically happens to me, especially when seasons change and I'm changing out my wardrobe or, um, you know, looking around my space and probably seeing the piles of mess around me because I'm hyper focused in one area and other areas of my life are not going so well. And then I start to have this dialogue in my head that, whoo, truly sometimes slaps me in the face and makes me feel a little bit heavy. And that's why I wanted to talk to you guys today and share this episode with you because I know that you also might be looking for some tools and tips on how to break through when you are feeling as though you know better and you feel like you should be doing better. So you start shooting all over yourself, which is a, um, almost like a negative energy in the body as opposed to finding the methods that fill you up in order to just simply do better and like tweak it a little bit at time in order to find that level of fulfillment and enjoyment in your day.
So what has been going on for me is that dialogue of like, I know better. Why don't I just do better? And then I realized I have to take a deep breath because I'm sitting in exhaustion or I'm even tired of the dialogue of dissatisfaction in that one area that maybe my brain has new methods or new ways of thinking about it, but the actions are really difficult for me to be consistent on. So an easy area to talk about for me is anything in regarding health and weight management, because I've had such a history of discomfort in my body that I mentally in order to function, I mentally disconnect my mind from my body in order to find fulfillment in other areas.
And if you've been listening to me for a while, you know some of my background and my story about how functional I am in my dysfunction, because I've allowed myself to take the measure of success or more masculine energy things like running my business and, you know, showing up for others and neglecting the side, the nurturing side, the self nurturing care, the self care side, the side that like needs fueling in order to so called succeed or check something off my list or, you know, for achievement, basically. And when I had years of just focusing on achievement without fulfillment and really checking in with myself, because I believe fulfillment is an energy that is from the inside. Nothing can control fulfillment for you or rate fulfillment for you other than, you know, a feeling really, whereas achievement is an external thing to some, and it can be more seen by others, right? Like achievement of whether it's monetary goals for what I want to earn in my business or achievement in getting into certain rooms or doing a talk, a live talk on someone else's podcast or someone's stage.
Like those are achievement achievements that are seen by others. And so fulfillment allows you to connect inside. And when I raise my level of fulfillment in different areas, I am able then to really decide what achievements I want to focus on, but also have a lens of how it makes me feel to be on the other side of that. And if I think back further to all my historical health issues and the way I perceived my body, the way I perceived how I want to show up in things, it really all stems back from a lack of self-worth and being put down at such a young age.
And then the methods to be so-called thinner or lose the weight, like for me, it was a weight problem, like I was never thin enough or fit enough in the society I was raised in or even in my household that it created an internal dilemma and a lack of fulfillment for every time I tried other people's methods to be so called healthy. So I created this internal turmoil that I really wanted to unravel and fix. And my journey of fixing it leaned into more holistic health, holistic practices, holistic thinking, because I knew that I couldn't just be one-sided. If I had obsessed on my health and really allowed that self-loathing to take over, I would probably be, because I would dip into emotional eating, I would probably be upwards of 400 pounds by now, like easy if I didn't do the mind, body connection work years ago.
And also became a certified holistic health coach because I really wanted to understand other methods will find the best method for me. And I've gone through bouts of feeling my best, my strongest, and then all of a sudden it gets derailed because I had yet to figure out the synergy of it all. And I'd say one of the side effects of that has been lately that I actually perceive in my head that I am much healthier than what I, it's so funny, it's totally flipped, like in my mind now, I feel like I'm healthier and stronger than what I am actually looking in the mirror or even like physically doing moves, you know, because I have a lot of different body pains showing up and it's just the aging process, people, that's really what's happening to me, that I'm having to face the aging process and I want to stay youthful, but I now have to treat my body a new way, which requires new learning. So if my mind then goes to, can we do no better?
Why don't you do better? And relieving myself of that pressure to say, well, what can I add in? So that was one of the things that I learned when I became a certified holistic health coach was that I leaned more into adding in the things that lift me up, finding and surrounding myself with the people that think the way I do where it's a it's not an instant gratification. It's more of a, what truly do I feel I need right now and get in touch with my emotion to satiate that and then move into the actions that keep that sat satiated.
And I'm not to say like I have a very high threshold for pain because of the way I was raised and also the conditioning I've been under and I still can sit with pain for a good length of time. Part of my storytelling of, you know, I know better I should do better is the speed at which I go see the professionals to help me manage through my pain. I'd say it's a shorter cycle. It's still not as as ideal as it could be.
Whereas as soon as I feel it, I go deal with it. I kind of feel it. I sit with it to see is it real a couple days past is it getting worse? And then I'll go see how professional so I'm working on it.
Nothing's perfect. Never said I was, but I am at least more cognizant of asking for the help when I need it. So point being, because I know I am rambling a little bit just to give you a little context of what's going on in my mind is that lately I've been feeling like I haven't been as conscious in my choices around caring for myself the way I need to to feel the most fulfilled so that I can show up in all arenas of my life with ease. And what I know for sure works for me, which is what I want to share with you today is when I'm shooting all over myself, like when I'm saying you should, I should, I should versus asking myself during what is the best way, what's something you can add in that would make you feel more fulfilled that combined with accountability is what actually keeps me focused and in check.
I am a service heart leader, right? Like I am someone that if I know someone else on the other side needs this too, which is why I love my podcast, love talking to you, love sharing these thoughts. Because me doing this diligence of speaking it out loud, sharing these tools and tips, sharing these methods, knowing that you're listening, makes me show up a different way. I'm not doing it for my own ego stroke.
Like that is not what the show is about. That is not what I show up in life for. There might be moments of a nice ego hit that happens on the other side of a fulfilled action, but it's not what drives me. What drives me is creating that connection that says, I am like you and you are like me and let's do and be in this together.
And the best way to have that show up for me daily is through accountability. And so when I see things wavering, especially when it comes to my health or how I'm performing in my business or how I am as a wife to my husband or whatever's going on in my friendships, like if I feel like my relationships are not as tight as I want to be like, how can I be held accountable to show up in that way? And I go and create an accountability connection in that arena to assist me in doing better. So for example, just recently, it was literally yesterday that I was like, okay, this health thing, like I've yes, been really good during quarantine and through COVID actions on working out, moving my body, stretching.
I pinched several nerves in my body doing those things and I went out and I sought out the professional help to do it. But it was all pretty much doing it all on my own. And there was a lot of baking happening in the house. So even if I was making conscious, great body movement decisions, I wasn't necessarily making the best nutritional decisions because I was, I've been leaning into what's easy and not necessarily requires an effort.
And unfortunately, with my health and the way my digestion works, effort is required in order for me to have the best healthiest things, get absorbed and digested through it. So I've noticed that like, you know, my digestive system sometimes feels a little rocky when I'm putting on my clothes, I'm feeling a little fluffy in certain areas. I'm not as energetic or jumping out of bed in the morning. My sleep is a little bit disturbed.
So I'm just off. And I decided to message out to my network and say, Hey, I'm going to be focusing on my house on October 1st. I'm going to be launching an accountability group. This is not a coaching program because it's so easy for me to step into a coaching role and carry everybody.
In this case, I'm like, I need the accountability to and all this is whatever program you're using. However, you want to focus on your health, it's a way to step in and just say, what do you want to be held accountable for and allow this group to support you through it? Because that's what I need. So I tend to create the things I need because it's faster.
Hey, and I know that my community like you want to participate in it or need it as well. And I'd rather do it with people I know and connect with ease than have to like start all over, especially when it comes to my health management. So that's what I did. And it has been so cool to see the response to say, I need that too.
I need that too, where it's everybody's looking for, where can I go to get that support and connect in a way that keeps me accountable for fulfilling what I need for myself. Sometimes people have the misstep of thinking accountability is something that I'm telling you what you need to do. Now you show up in it and tell me that you got it done. That does not work if it's not a decision from the inside out that you want to do these things, especially when it comes to your health.
So kicking off this accountability group is just already bringing me such relief. I'm giving myself enough time to like launch it with these whoever wants to join it and just have a method daily of checking in. That's all I need. I need to be able to say, this is what I want to come today.
I want to drink more water. Like it's that simple. Great. Well, how do you quantify the water?
Well, I want to drink at least four of my water bottles by 5 p.m. today. Great. Okay.
So then, you know, you're held accountable to come in and say, I did it. Or guys, I totally messed this up. I only got two bottles in, but it was great to see what I need to do to make tomorrow easier for me to get the four bottles of water in. I need to prep the bottles of consciousness, right?
So you know what I'm talking about. So I bring this up to you because nothing stops you from creating the accountability that you need in your daily, that you need in order to move the needle in the arena of life that might be challenging you right now. Like if you're on your job hunt and you're getting fatigued because you're all alone in your job hunt, I guarantee if you were to call out and say, Hey, guys, I'm looking for accountability on finding my next gig. If there's anybody who's in a career hunt right now that wants to be held accountable to take action every single day, I'm starting an accountability group.
And you'll have hundreds of people, I'm sure in your arena, wanting that type of support and that type of accountability, that feeling of we're in this together, even though you're on your own path, that you can also get the support and accountability there. Now, what do you do once you start that accountability group? Well, it's very simple to create an accountability structure, simple. And you're not there to coach anybody.
You have to set that expectation upfront that you don't carry other people's actions. It is up to that person to step in and you're holding them accountable by just being present for them to state to you, state to you. What is it that they want to accomplish by when and be held accountable by you to do that? So that by when date shows up and I'd say to keep it easy, just say, what do you want to get done today?
I want to, if it's a career group, accountability group, I want to be able to submit my resume to three new jobs and make three new network connections, for example. Then you start that at 9am or whenever you first get up, you post that in your group. And then by 6pm, you're given an update, what got done and just keep it in that daily direction. And then whenever the thing got done or did not get done, be real with your update on what had happened so that your accountability group, your partner, whoever you choose to do this with is able to just simply ask, well, what do you need to do next in order to make it easier and more fulfilling for yourself?
So those of you on the other side of accountability to ask, what do you need to do to make this easier and more fulfilling in order to achieve that goal? Whatever it is that you're trying to do today? Because when you ask those two questions, there's no shame, there's no judgment coming your way. It is all about support and how to make it more fun, easier and fulfilling so that you can step into those actions with ease.
Then the next morning, what are the things you want to accomplish today? You go ahead and post that in the group at the end of the day and just decide as an accountability group, what's the one do you need everything posted by in the morning and when do you want the updates by in the evening? So posted by probably 9am, updates in the evening by 8pm, whatever your time zone is. So this way, your group is staying in alignment with a cadence to make it super easy to show up in it.
And then whenever you see anyone struggling or if you are struggling yourself, you can easily post in that group or message to that accountability partner and say, this is where I'm struggling. Do you have any ideas on how I can manage through this or any other way for this to be more fun, more fulfilling and easier for me to step into? That is one way as an accountability partner, you can support those that are going through their actions while you're going through yours. Now, just be careful not to be the one carrying anybody else's work that they need to do themselves and truly stand there as a supportive person.
So if your answer is, I have no idea, I've never done that before, then that's what you should say and say, I don't know, but I am sure you could figure it out. What's an action that you could do to figure this out? And maybe the next day that action is research, right? It's go find the person that knows the answer to this thing that I'm struggling with.
That could literally be your action of that day that you want to get done and be held accountable to the research actions. It's not always about the doing. A lot of the time it's about the learning. So don't hesitate to make that what your actions of the day are.
And I'll tell you that when you align with accountability, so as a coach, I hold my clients accountable all the time on the things they tell me they want to deliver and the only way I hold them accountable is that when that timeframe shows up, say, how'd you do it? What did you accomplish? What, what did you get done or what did you learn from picking that by when date for that action and how far you got along to it? Where are we right now?
What has happened? And then they're able to share, well, I didn't get all these things done, but I got these things done and I realized that I really didn't have the time capacity to do it. So great. How can you make it easier, fun and more fulfilling to get it done?
Whatever your goal is, you're the one setting the goals. I am not. I can have suggestions, but it's really up to you to pick that goal and go after it for yourself. And I'm here to hold you accountable.
The by when date and the daily activity of a cadence of morning posting and evening posting keeps you accountable to what it is that you truly want. So now the shitting that happened before, especially for me, when I should all over myself, carrying you know better, you should do better. Stops, because you're actually just doing better. You're being held accountable to the things that you want to do to fill you up, make it easier, make it more fun.
And you're stating it to someone else. So it is real to the outside. It's trackable. It's with the group and it's not you're not in it alone, because that I think is the most daunting side to anything we're trying to achieve is to feel like we have to be on a loan in it.
So this is a method for you to reach out and build the accountability that you need to stop shitting all over yourself and jump into a line of action for the life you want to lead. And the focus I plan to have now in my health from October through the holidays is going to be so much more fun because I'm showing up in an accountable way that feeds my soul, but also keeps me conscious on a daily basis. So I hope this method has helped you today. And if you're feeling like you want to join the accountability group I have going on, I'm going to probably hosted on Facebook.
I just literally initiated it yesterday. So feel free to connect and we can add you in there or go ahead and start your own. This format is not something that's difficult to manage. It just takes the ability to create it and invite people into it and then set the guidelines on how it's going to work and go for it.
And sometimes just having one accountability partner where you're committed to each other for a period of time in order to check in. It really just moves the needle, makes things so much more fun, way easier. And definitely fills me up when I get to show up with all of you and state my progress, state my wins, let go of the things that didn't work and just keep moving forward in an aligned way. So thank you so much for listening today.
If you got something from today's episode or you plan to launch your own accountability groups, et cetera, please let me know. Please let me know how it's working. Share this episode with those who you think might need it. I love being part of your badass journey.
And I really appreciate you listening and continuing down this journey with me. Until the next episode. Wasn't that such a great episode? I know you've got amazing takeaways from that.
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It means so much to me to have you as a listener and I would love to connect with you. So if you have any questions, you'd like me to answer on the show, go ahead and email hello at kareenwalsh.com and my team will make sure that I get your question so we can get them answered on the show for you. Thank you so much for listening today and I'll see you on the next episode.