124. The Difference Between Working on Yourself and Working With Yourself

Have you turned every decision into proof of your personal growth? Here’s what changes when you stop working on yourself and start working with yourself. Have you ever noticed how quickly a simple decision can turn into a referendum on your personal growth? You start out trying to decide whether to take an opportunity, apply for something, or say yes to a request. Then somewhere along the way, the decision becomes much bigger. It has to solve the situation in front of you while also proving that you’ve healed, grown, and learned the lesson. That’s a lot to ask of one decision. In this episode I name what happens when self-awareness turns into self-evaluation, when personal growth becomes a performance standard, and what actually shifts when you stop treating yourself as a project and start working with yourself instead. In this episode, we’ll cover: How the expectation of emotional clarity and consistency becomes another form of waiting Why self-trust doesn’t require you to feel the same way every day — it requires you to stay in relationship with yourself while different feelings move through The difference between listening to a feeling and letting it make the decision for you How to bring a decision back to its actual size by naming what you’ve attached to it Why self-trust develops from staying present for what happens next, not from guaranteeing the right outcome Journal Prompt: Complete this sentence and share it with me on Instagram @hollytoscanini I’ve been treating the decision about __________ as proof that I’m __________. Send me a DM or email with your answer. @hollytoscanini https://www.instagram.com/hollytoscanini/ hollytoscanini.com https://hollytoscanini.com/contact-holly/ working on yourself vs with yourself, self-improvement exhaustion, self-trust women, decision making anxiety, personal growth performance, treating yourself as a project, inner critic women, self-awareness women over 40, how to stop second-guessing decisions, self-compassion and accountability, W.A.I.T. framework, unwaiting method, women over 40 personal growth, self-evaluation exhaustion, working with yourself Music from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!): https://uppbeat.io/t/mood-maze/trendsetter License code: VGZ66UBEGXBP8YK8