PODCAST · education
How to Lose the Wait
by Holly Toscanini
Welcome to How to Lose the ‘WAIT’—the podcast for women in midlife who are tired of living like their real life starts “later.” If you’ve been waiting for confidence, the perfect timing, the perfect body, the perfect relationship, or a braver version of you to take the wheel… you’re in the right place. Holly Toscanini is the warm, witty, and refreshingly real voice behind How to Lose the ‘Wait’ — the podcast helping women over 40 stop postponing their lives and start living fully, exactly as they are. An Amazon bestselling author, empowerment coach, and creator of The Unwaiting Method™, Holly has made it her mission to help women trade perfectionism, self-doubt, and people-pleasing for confidence, intuition, and freedom. Through candid storytelling and laugh-out-loud truth-telling, she guides listeners out of the “waiting room” of life — where everything is on hold until things are perfect — and into a life that feels bold, me
Episodes
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137. Age, Wisdom, and the Power of Not Giving a Sh*t
Why body insecurity and ageism keep women waiting to live, and three practices to rebuild self-trust and body confidence after 40 and 50. If you've been putting something off until your body looks right or you feel young enough, this episode is for you. Holly Toscanini looks at where body...
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136. How You Were Conditioned to Stay Small with Christine Agro
Most women have had this experience at least once. They’re in a conversation — a meeting, a relationship, a family situation — and they know exactly what they want to say. And then something happens in the space between knowing and speaking. What comes out is smaller, softer, more careful. Or...
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135. Menorexia-Menopause, Body Image & Midlife Confidence
What is menorexia? You've got a changing body, a culture that expects you to hide the change, & the old promise that life gets better once you get your younger body back. I draw on decades of dieting history and my years working in intuitive eating and body acceptance to explore why...
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134. Stop Waiting to Feel Like Yourself Again- Dr. Jennifer Roelands
OB-GYN Dr. Jennifer Roelands on why women normalize symptoms for years, how to advocate in the exam room, and what to know about hormones and sexual health. You’ve noticed changes in your sleep, your energy, your mood, your body, or your sex drive — and you’ve been wondering whether you simply…
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133. You’re Not Becoming Invisible. You’re Becoming Harder to Ignore
There’s a conversation happening about midlife invisibility. About the moment women realize they’re no longer turning heads, no longer registering the way they once did. And most of the responses are about how to fix it. I think the framing is off. Not because the experience isn’t real — it is.…
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132. When the Old You No Longer Fits: Identity Rupture, Self-Trust, and Grounded Expansion
There’s a particular kind of stuck that happens when you’ve already thought about the problem from every angle. You know something needs to change. You may even know what the change is. But taking action still feels strangely difficult. Holly’s guest today, Embodied Integration Coach Natasha...
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131. The September Reset: One Overdue Decision to Make Before the Year Gets Away From You
What decision did you expect to have made by now? Here’s how to use September to name the overdue thing — and take one real move before the year ends. What decision did you expect to have made by now? Not this year specifically — just by now. There’s something you’ve been circling. A direction…
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130. Is the Silent Treatment Abuse? What Every Woman Needs to Know — with Ama K. Karikari
Ama K. Karikari spent 15 years in a marriage defined by chronic silent treatment before recognizing it as abuse. Here’s what she learned. Sometimes the hardest relationships to leave are the ones that don’t look obviously harmful from the outside. There may not be a single incident you can point…
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129. What to Do When They Get Defensive
You finally said it. Then they got defensive and suddenly you’re explaining yourself instead of addressing the problem. Here’s how to stay connected to what you need. You said the thing you’d been avoiding. Before you finished explaining what’s been bothering you, the other person said, “That’s…
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128. How to Start the Converstation You Keep Avoiding
You’ve rehearsed it 47 times. The other person wasn’t there for any of them. Here’s how to find your first honest sentence and actually begin. You’ve rehearsed this conversation dozens of times. You’ve anticipated the objections, prepared the explanation, and found the words that should help them...
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127. What If Someone Is Disappointed by Your Decision
You made the decision. Then they reacted, and suddenly you weren’t sure anymore. Here’s how to stay connected to what you know when someone is disappointed. You’ve spent weeks thinking it through. You’ve paid attention to what keeps coming up, considered the consequences, and finally reached a...
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126. When Research Becomes Procrastination
Learn how to know when you have enough information to take action—and when more research has become a way to avoid being seen. You want to make a thoughtful decision. So you research. You read the article, listen to the podcast, compare options, ask for advice, save the post, and maybe sign up…
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125. How To Stop Second Guessing Yourself
You made the decision. Now doubt has you questioning it. Learn how to stop second-guessing yourself and know when a choice truly needs review. You made the decision and felt relieved. Then doubt arrived. Now you’re replaying the conversation, imagining everything that could go wrong, and…
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124. The Difference Between Working on Yourself and Working With Yourself
Have you turned every decision into proof of your personal growth? Here’s what changes when you stop working on yourself and start working with yourself. Have you ever noticed how quickly a simple decision can turn into a referendum on your personal growth? You start out trying to decide whether…
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123. You Know Why You Do It. So Why Can’t You Stop?
You understand your patterns but still repeat them. Learn why insight isn’t enough—and how to respond differently when the pattern takes over. Have you ever had a moment of complete clarity about yourself? You finally understood why you keep overthinking decisions, saying yes when you mean no,...
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122. Evidence Over Emotion™: Self-Trust Is a Track Record
Self-trust is not a feeling. It’s a track record. Here’s how to build one — even when the inner critic has been keeping a very different archive. Self-trust isn't a mood that arrives one morning. It’s not a wave of certainty that announces you’re finally ready. And it doesn’t build through better...
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121. Feeling Behind in Life? It’s Not Too Late — What to Do With the Years You Can’t Get Back
You are not behind. You are overdue. Here’s the difference — and what to do with the grief of the years you spent waiting before you finally started to move. Unwaiting Map https://holly-toscanini-f50a.mykajabi.com/unwaiting-map-sales-page Something happens when women start to move. After all the...
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120. The Power of the Micro-Pivot: Why Small and Honest Always Wins
You’re not failing because you lack motivation. You’re waiting for the wrong kind of change. Here’s how the Micro-Pivot breaks the loop instead. Get The Intuitive Pivot Planner (free download) Most women who want to change their lives don’t fail because they lack motivation. They fail because...
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119. Courage Before Confidence: How to Take Action Before You Feel Ready
You have the sequence backwards. Confidence doesn’t come first — courage does. Here’s the actual order of operations for building self-trust through action. Most women are waiting for the wrong thing first. They believe the sequence is: feel confident, then act. But confidence is not what starts...
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118. Why You Keep Getting Ready But Never Actually Start
Perfectionism isn’t about high standards. It’s about protection. Here’s how to recognize when you’re hiding — and take one honest step before you feel ready. There’s a version of hiding that looks nothing like hiding. It looks like preparation. It looks like diligence. It looks like caring enough...
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117. Why You Can’t Rest Without Guilt: Useful, Exhausted, and Still Not Enough
You weren’t born believing you had to earn rest. You were trained to measure your worth by how useful you could be. Here’s how to name that condition. Download your copy of Activate Your Intuition eBook You were not born believing you had to earn rest. That belief was taught. It arrived through...
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116. "Signals vs. Spirals™: Is It Intuition, Anxiety, or Old Conditioning?
Two voices. Both sound like you. One is your intuition. One is your anxiety. Here’s a practical filter to tell them apart. Download The Activate Your Intuition eBook You get quiet enough to actually hear yourself. A voice shows up and says something true — this job isn’t right anymore, this...
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115. Why Your Life Feels Empty When Nothing Is Actually Wrong: The “Just Fine” Trap
There’s a particular kind of life that’s very hard to complain about. It’s not bad. Nothing is wrong, exactly. You have enough. Things are functional. By every external measure, life is fine. Just fine. And underneath the fine, something is going flat. Not dramatically. Gradually. The way a slow...
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114. Fear with a Planner-Is Your Responsibility Just a Hiding Place?
You’ve researched it, planned it, thought it through. And the move still isn’t happening. That’s not diligence. That might be Fear with a Planner. You have something you want to do. And you’ve attached a condition to it. I’ll do it when the kids are older. When work settles down. When I feel more...
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113. Why you Keep Saying, "Someday": The Permission Problem
The someday cycle isn’t a character flaw. It’s a specific pattern — Desire + Condition — and once you see its shape, you can start to break it. Take the Free Unwaiting Audit- a short assessment that identifies exactly where in the W.A.I.T. Framework you’re currently stuck. You have something you...
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112. The Research Loop: Why More Information Is a Form of Stalling
You’re reading, researching, saving articles — and still not moving. You don’t have a clarity problem. You have a pattern. Here’s how to break it. You’re not doing nothing. You’re very busy, actually. Reading about it. Listening to podcasts about it. Saving articles, watching videos, taking…
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111. Who Is Actually Making Your Decisions?
Think you’re making your own decisions? For most midlife women, an invisible Inner Council is running the show. Here’s how to take your seat back. Take the Free Unwaiting Audit: https://holly-toscanini-f50a.mykajabi.com/the-5-minute-midlife-confidence-quiz You have a sense of what you want to do....
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110. How to Start Changing Your Life in 30 Days (Without Burning Out)
Forget resolutions. This episode shows midlife women how to design a 30-day unwaiting experiment — low-pressure, sustainable, and built around your real life. You've probably had the experience of committing to a change, feeling genuinely motivated for about a week, and then watching it quietly...
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109. How to Move Forward after Loss : Grief, Identity, and Reinventing Yourself with Kym Coco
There's a particular kind of “lost” that doesn't have a clean name. It's not always grief, though it can be. It's not always a crisis, though it can feel like one. It's the feeling of waking up and not quite recognizing the life you're living — or the woman living it. That's exactly what today's...
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108. Good Girl Rehab: 5 Rules You're Still Following That Keep You Waiting
Still stuck even after doing the work? These 5 good girl conditioning rules keep midlife women waiting — and one small experiment can start to change that. You've done the work. You know your patterns. You're self-aware — and you're still waiting. Still waiting to speak up. Still waiting to make...
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107. Pursue Your Spark with Heike Yates
Heike Yates, a midlife fitness expert, shares her journey of empowerment through fitness and the importance of taking action, self-trust, and the SPARK framework. She emphasizes the significance of starting small, consistency, and doing what doesn't hurt. Her approach focuses on building momentum...
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106. Stop Saying Yes When Your Body Says No: Setting Micro-Boundaries
We often hear that boundary-setting is an extreme act, but for many high-achieving women, there’s a middle ground that’s practical and effective. Join me as we explore why those internal negotiations matter and how to reclaim your energy and time. By the end, you’ll know how to hold boundaries...
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105. The Energy Audit: Where Your Time, Attention, and Self-Trust Are Really Going
If you keep saying, “I don’t know what I want,” but secretly suspect that’s not the whole truth, this episode is for you. Holly unpacks why so many midlife women feel foggy, stuck, or “blank” when it comes to their own desires—even though they’re sharp, self-aware, and great at knowing what...
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104. "I Don't Know What I Want": How to Get Clarity When You Feel Stuck
In this episode, Holly Toscanini explores the common struggle many women face in articulating their desires. She discusses how societal pressures and upbringing can lead to confusion about what one truly wants. Through practical exercises, she encourages listeners to reconnect with their desires...
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103. How to Stop Over-Giving in Relationships (Without Feeling Like a Bad Person)
In this episode, We discuss the emotional burden of being the default caretaker in relationships, particularly for women. I'll explore how this role is often unconsciously adopted and the hidden costs associated with it, such as chronic resentment and emotional burnout. I emphasizes the…
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102. Stop Self-Editing: The Unwaiting Rule for Visibility in Midlife
If you’ve been feeling invisible in midlife, it might not be because you lack confidence—it might be because you’ve been self-editing. In this episode of How to Lose the ‘WAIT’, Holly Toscanini breaks down why smart, capable women often soften their opinions, over-explain their boundaries, and…
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101. Standing in your Brilliance with Kathy Kwiatkowski
In this episode of How to Lose the ‘WAIT’, Holly sits down with Kathy Kwiatkowski—Licensed Mental Health Counselor, multidimensional healer,[...] Music from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!): https://uppbeat.io/t/mood-maze/trendsetter License code: VGZ66UBEGXBP8YK8
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100. Stop Starting Over: The Unwaiting Method to Turn Insight Into Real Change
Holly Toscanini speaking about Unwaiting: why starting over provides relief but real change comes from one decision and one small action, encouraging listeners to stop living in “draft mode.” Source Music from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!): https://uppbeat.io/t/mood-maze/trendsetter License code:...
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99. The Self-Trust Rule for 2026: Stop Making Decisions That Betray You
As we step into a new year, the pressure to reinvent ourselves often looms large. But what if the real transformation lies not in starting over, but in cultivating a deeper relationship with ourselves? In this episode of How to Lose the Weight, host Holly Toscanini introduces the self-trust rule...
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98. Why New Year’s Resolutions Keep Smart Women Stuck (And What to Do Instead)
New Year’s resolutions often keep smart women stuck because they’re built on the belief that you must “fix yourself” before you’re allowed to feel confident or start living. In this episode, Holly Toscanini explains why waiting mode isn’t laziness—it’s a self-protection strategy—and shares what…
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97. How to Make 2026 The Year of Unwaiting
How to Make 2026 The Year of Unwaiting: Clarity, Courage, and Self-Trust Year-end reflection for midlife women: close 2025 with compassion and start 2026 with clarity, courage, and self-trust. Includes a guided ritual + confidence quiz. Source Music from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!):...
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96. How to Get Unstuck in Midlife: Tiny Pivots, New Habits, Real Momentum
Feeling stuck in “someday mode” in midlife? Someday you’ll change careers. Someday you’ll feel confident. Someday you’ll finally do the thing you can’t stop thinking about. In this episode of How to Lose the ‘WAIT’, intuitive living coach Holly Toscanini shows you how to get unstuck in midlife...
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95. Choosing What to Leave Behind: Emotional Decluttering for the New Year
What to Leave Behind: Emotional Decluttering for the New Year Before you set a single New Year’s resolution, it’s time for an emotional declutter. In this episode, Holly guides you through a step-by-step process to release outdated identities, habits, and roles that keep you stuck, so you can...
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94. How to Calm Your Inner Critic Fast!
Go from Panicked to Poised in Just 3 Minutes Wish you had a confidence reset button for those “Who am[...] Source
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93. How to Stop Fixing Yourself
Tired of “working on yourself” and still feeling like a project? This new episode of How to Lose the ‘WAIT’ is all about why real midlife growth isn’t about fixing yourself—it’s about remembering who you are. Source
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92. Gratitude Without Guilt: Finding Joy When Life Isn’t Perfect
Instead of weaponizing gratitude as “it could be worse,” Holly unpacks the difference between genuine appreciation and toxic positivity, and offers grounded, compassionate practices to help midlife women notice joy and meaning without denying their reality. Source
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91. Body Wisdom 101: What Your Cravings, Energy, and Emotions Are Trying to Tell You
Cravings, fatigue, and emotions aren’t failures—they’re wisdom. Learn how to reconnect with your body’s intuitive signals in midlife and build trust again. Source
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90. How to Rebuild Trust With Yourself (After Too Many Broken Promises)
Every broken promise erodes confidence—but every gentle follow-through stitches trust back together. Learn the science and soul of rebuilding integrity with yourself in midlife. Source
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89. From Overthinking to Aligned Action: How to Calm Your Nervous System and Create Real Momentum
You’re not stuck—you’re overstimulated. Learn how nervous-system safety unlocks intuitive action and calm confidence in midlife. Calm your mind, regulate your body, and turn overthinking into aligned, confident action. Source
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88. Midlife Reinvention Lessons from K-Pop Demon Hunters
In this episode of How to Lose the ‘WAIT’, Holly Toscanini uses the animated film K-Pop Demon Hunters as a surprisingly profound lens for midlife reinvention. Through themes of performance, hidden identity, sisterhood, perfectionism, and reclaiming your voice, Holly invites women in their 40s…
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ABOUT THIS SHOW
Welcome to How to Lose the ‘WAIT’—the podcast for women in midlife who are tired of living like their real life starts “later.”
If you’ve been waiting for confidence, the perfect timing, the perfect body, the perfect relationship, or a braver version of you to take the wheel… you’re in the right place.
Holly Toscanini is the warm, witty, and refreshingly real voice behind How to Lose the ‘Wait’ — the podcast helping women over 40 stop postponing their lives and start living fully, exactly as they are.
An Amazon bestselling author, empowerment coach, and creator of The Unwaiting Method™, Holly has made it her mission to help women trade perfectionism, self-doubt, and people-pleasing for confidence, intuition, and freedom.
Through candid storytelling and laugh-out-loud truth-telling, she guides listeners out of the “waiting room” of life — where everything is on hold until things are perfect — and into a life that feels bold, me
HOSTED BY
Holly Toscanini
CATEGORIES
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Frequently Asked Questions
How many episodes does How to Lose the Wait have?
How to Lose the Wait currently has 137 episodes available on PodParley. New episodes are automatically indexed when they're published to the podcast feed.
What is How to Lose the Wait about?
Welcome to How to Lose the ‘WAIT’—the podcast for women in midlife who are tired of living like their real life starts “later.” If you’ve been waiting for confidence, the perfect timing, the perfect body, the perfect relationship, or a braver version of you to take the wheel… you’re in the right...
How often does How to Lose the Wait release new episodes?
How to Lose the Wait publishes regularly with 137 episodes available. Check the episode list for the typical release schedule.
Where can I listen to How to Lose the Wait?
You can listen to How to Lose the Wait on PodParley by clicking any episode. We provide an embedded audio player for direct listening, and you can also subscribe via your preferred podcast app using the RSS feed.
Who hosts How to Lose the Wait?
How to Lose the Wait is created and hosted by Holly Toscanini.
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