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Tickets go on sale to the general public June 30th at somethingworthknowing.com, so come build a better world with us on September 16th and experience something worth knowing you can get your ticket at Complexly.info slash something. Hello and welcome to... Nope, nope, nope, nope, nope. Three, two, three, two...
I'm ready now. I'm still ready. Three, two, one, start. Nick, maybe you should just include that.
It was gold. Hello and welcome to Dear Hank and John. It's a comedy podcast in which two brothers answer your questions and give you dubious advice and bring you all the weeks news from both Mars and AFC Wimbledon. John, how are you doing today?
I'm doing well, Hank. The sun is shining here in Indianapolis. It's still kind of cold and I'm a little over it, but I'm doing well. I am happy to be alive.
I'm grateful to be a Midwesterner. It's a good day to live in the middle of the world's 14th best country as measured by life expectancy. I recently found out that my employees have been making fun of me because I put a nose in my smiley faces. Oh, like a little dot?
My emoticon smiley faces? First of all, I do not emoji very much because I was raised in a world where we created our own emojis using whatever tools we had at our disposal and we call those emoticons and that's not the same as an emoji and when people call them emojis, I get offended. But apparently it's okay to just do a colon parenthesis for a smiley face, but colon dash parenthesis, they find to be the sign that I am not with the times. In general, yeah, I believe that emoticons can express the full range of human emotion.
They're by rendering emojis unnecessary. I completely agree with you about that. However, you are wrong that emoticons need noses. Also, I have an update, Hank, and it's not a good one.
Okay, what's your update? The United States ranks 31st in life expectancy. Well, well, let's see where Mizzou is on the list because I feel like I feel like we do better than the US as a whole. You should move here.
We're behind Chile and Costa Rica and Slovenia. Those are immediate the people we immediately want to beat and we're just ahead of the Czech Republic and the Maldives. Oh, boy. Okay.
Well, I don't know very much about those places or the world, but I know about my emoticon noses. So let's get back to areas where I'm an expert, which is that this is how it's done. And that's fine. I don't you can't I'm doing it my way and I think it looks better.
And I think all your weird noseless faces look disturbing. And I just think of Happy Voldemort. I remember the first time I saw an emoticon like back on CompuServe in the early 90s. And I remember people would explain to me it's a sideways smiley face.
And I would look and all I could see for the life of me was a colon and a closed parenthesis. And it took me the longest time to be like, I literally, as I recall at least 14 year old me had to turn his head 90 degrees to be like, Oh, yeah, I guess I kind of see it. Oh man. Yeah, well, that makes a certain amount of sense.
It is very representational speaking of children Hank, would you like a short poem for today? Okay, this short poem is by I believe his name is Nile age six. It's been making the rounds on Twitter. It's very, very good.
And it's called the tiger. It's written by a six year old boy. And it's called the tiger. And it's about death, but it's also about life and hope and also despair.
The tiger, he destroyed his cage. Yes, yes. The tiger is out. The tiger by Nile age six.
Yes, yes, it's just perfect. The tiger is out. I think I understand that poem, John. I don't think either of us can understand it in its full complexity.
Because it's the tiger, Nile. I don't know if the tiger is Nile, or if the cage is Nile. Oh man, what or if the tiger is just a tiger? There is always the possibility that the tiger is just a tiger.
Oh man. Do I answer some questions from our listeners, John? Yeah, let's answer some questions from our listeners. This first one comes from Blair who writes Dear John and Hank, I have recently come into possession of the American Cheese Society 2010 second place ribbon.
I now have the ability to unilaterally declare someone or something the second best cheese in the year of 2010. How do I wield this power responsibly? I don't know anything about cheese. My friend makes cheese, but it's terrible.
So it seems dishonest to give it to him. Wait, wait, wait, wait. So you actually have you actually have someone who in your life who is a cheese, a cheesemaker. Well, you're denying that person.
Cheese is so bad. You feel dishonest. Yeah. Well, there you go.
Blair's a very honest person. How do I make sure I don't go crazy with this power? Be afraid, Blair. First off, Blair, I just want to correct you about one thing, which is that you say in your question, I now have the ability to unilaterally declare someone or something the second best cheese for the year 2010.
In fact, you only have the unilateral ability to declare someone or something the second best American cheese for the year 2010, which is very, very different because as everyone knows, America is 31st in cheese. I believe that is correct. Yes, just just behind Costa Rica. John, is it a thing that we are now going to have to do where you and I compete to be the best cheese of 2010 or is that nothing?
No, we can't compete with each other. That's not part of our brand. Our brand is collaboration and mutual admiration. Yeah.
Our brand is I really appreciate your AFC Wimbledon news. You really appreciate my Mars news. Even if deep down, we're probably checking Twitter. Right.
It's funny because we started out trying to make fun of each other's news, but the listeners hated that because they like the collaboration and mutual appreciation. So if anything, we need to lobby Blair to have both of us named co second best cheese of America in 2010. But then unfortunately, Blair needs a second ribbon. Well, or take can you take your ribbon to like a place that does laser cutting and just slice it perfectly down the middle?
So John and I can share it. Or perhaps I'm just going to throw this out there, a ribbon making factory and just make a second ribbon. You can't just make a best cheese ribbon, John. This is the second best American cheese of 2010.
If you just went and made a second best American cheese of 2010 ribbon, that would not allow Blair the ability to put that on everyone in America. I've got a few ideas for this thing. My first idea is Blair, you could give it to your significant other if you have one. And then when it comes time to break up with them, instead of saying like, I think we need to break up, you could just say, I'm going to need that ribbon back.
You are you are now not the second best. What have you just went to the grocery store and like put it on a cheese? Just like a craft singles. I mean, the nice thing about bestowing it upon your significant other until and unless it's a radical is that you get to keep it in the, you know, you get to keep it in the family more or less.
That's the only thing I'd say, Blair, this is such a powerful, wonderful thing that's come into your life. Don't let it go easy. You know, like make sure that when you bestow it upon someone or something, they understand that this is temporary and that at any moment something or someone new might become the second best American cheese of 2010. Blair, is it possible that you're the best cheese of 2010?
Second best. Sorry. Blair, is it possible that you're the second best cheese of 2010? Like that's why you got it?
Like the universe delivered it to you because of your quality cheesiness? You're so right, Hank. Blair, you've already won. It's just that you haven't yet accepted the victory.
Blair, no, you don't know, you don't know yet that you were once the second best cheese in America. That's right. What you really need to do Blair is you need to look in the mirror and realize that you've been looking and looking and looking for the second best American cheese of 2010, but all the while it's been within you and you need to pin that ribbon on your sweater because it's you Blair. You did it.
Daily affirmations. Walk it around. I am a powerful human. I love myself.
I have had a positive impact upon the world. I am the second best American cheese of 2010. You know how that's questioned? When you finish, can I just say one more thing?
Okay, I suppose. You know how when you finish a marathon, or in my case, a half marathon, they give you a ri- like a medal and you wear that medal all day, but you can't really wear it into the next day because it becomes a little weird. Like at some point, if 35 days later, you're still wearing your metal, people are like, uh, so you finished a half marathon a month ago. The second best cheese of 2010 is nothing like that, where you can wear that ribbon every day for the rest of your life.
This next question comes from Ashley who asks, dear Hank and John, I will be getting married soon, and therefore have been on the receiving end of many gifts that I picked out myself. I'm very thankful for all of the gifts, but I'm at a loss when writing thank you notes. How do you thank someone for a gift that you picked out yourself? Normally I would comment on how much I like the gift, but in this case, that feels like I'm complimenting myself.
How do I show genuine appreciation without giving fake compliments? Also, the wedding is March 10th and will be in a much more interesting part of Arkansas than the clothing store in the middle of the field if either of you would like to come. Toasters and tuxedos, Ashley. Hey, I actually think I have some good advice here because I've written a fair few thank you notes for wedding presents that Sarah and I picked out.
And here is this was initially something that I felt uncomfortable with and Sarah explained it to me thusly and I think she was correct. She said what you say in the thank you note is what you are going to use the gift for in your new shared life. And that's how you tell a story about how that person is going to impact and has affected your life. And that is it.
That is the best. Like a lot of times the best thanks is like letting people not just saying thank you but saying thank you and then this is how you have made my life better. What Catherine and I did is we laser etched the name of the person who gave us each of the gifts on the gift so that we have to think about them every time we use it. Really?
And so like our mixer is named Ashley and our like every one of our fork set just has the name of my parents sitting in mic on it. Is that true? No. No.
I was going to say that's a really lovely idea. But yeah, you thank the person for what this gift is going to do for your life and then you transition to thanking the person for whatever they have done for you in your life which I actually think should be the focus of the thank you note is finding a way to say thank you uncle backs for all of the great times in Vermont and the wisdom that you've shared with me and the kindness that you showed me and how welcome you've made me feel in your family. Yeah. Good.
Good point, John. I like it a lot. This next question comes from Tanya who writes Dear John and Hank, My university is overwhelmed with giant crows throughout the year and I want to befriend them so I can have a beautiful intelligent and slightly terrifying animal companion. I've heard they remember human faces well.
Tanya, you are freaking me out right now. I'm just going to tell you the truth man. I'm getting freaked out. Why?
You freaked out. Why? Okay. Let me just start the question over because maybe you weren't listening.
My university is overwhelmed with giant crows throughout the year and I want to befriend them so I can have a beautiful intelligent and slightly terrifying animal companion. I've heard they remember human faces well. I mean, have you have you read Maggie C. Vodder's Raven cycle?
Yes. That one's called? Yes. Yeah.
That also freaks me out. I think that it's great. I'm curious if these are crows or if they are ravens actually because do you know the difference between a raven and a crow John? I bet I'm about to find out.
So if you see a crow, you'll think to yourself, I wonder if that's a crow or a raven. If you see a raven, you will think to yourself, I have been deeply seen and am afraid of that gigantic animal. That is so true. That is so true.
That's a great point. Anyway, Tonya goes on to ask, should I follow the rules and not feed the birds or should I be a rebel and follow my dreams of having strange animal friends? If I feed them, what else can I do to make them my friends? I thought my question might be relevant to your podcast because crows are symbols of death.
Oh God. Thank you, Tonya. Yeah. I mean, here's the thing, Tonya, don't feed the ravens.
Don't feed the, don't feed the corvids in general. Don't feed any of the wildlife on your, on your school campus. There are other better ways to make them your friends. The number one way that I would recommend is bewitching.
Well, how to befriend, I mean, I type in how to be friend and the number one thing is a crow. And I don't, I don't know. Does Google, does it hear me right now? Does it know what I'm talking about?
So like, oh my God, oh my God, you're not kidding. Yeah. No, apparently this is a thing. How does this happen?
Oh my God, I'm so freaked out. Is Google Hank, what the flitch just happened? We just, we both Googled how to befriend and the first Google suggestion was, well, maybe that's just the thing people most want to befriend. A human.
The frick. So like, we have now determined that humans would rather be friends with crows than people, dogs, elephants, any other animal themselves, cats, just crows. I don't know. Maybe befriend is a specific word that like you don't say I would like to, how do you befriend a young lass?
No. Well, I mean, but you would, why, why, why a crow? Why not? I am so freaked out, I can't even talk.
Why not literally any other animal species? I don't know. The question is, can you, can you make friends with a corvid by without food? And probably not.
But they do like other stuff. So maybe. And the good news is that apparently enough people have searched for this that I'm sure people who are looking to optimize their blogs for search engines have have written. There's in fact a Reddit thread right here.
There's also on allocation, how to make friends with crows and on coyote.es, so coyotes with a dot in it, also making friends with crows on the corvid blog on the coyotes blog network. This, this Reddit thread has a number of suggestions. So I don't know, I didn't look this up because I didn't actually expect that there would be a great deal of information on it, but it turns out you're not the only one. You're in fact in the majority of people who wish to become friends with a blank.
Yeah, I mean, I love this. Didn't we have a question? Or maybe I just read this somewhere from a person who, who like the crows think that he's their neighbor and bringing like this guy's presence because his neighbor is feeding the crows. I'm not even in my body right now because I'm so freaked out.
I can't remember the past or the future or the present. I just Googled how to befriend a and the first suggestion was crow. Are you using a Google pixel right now? No, I'm using my my computer to normal.
No, I'm not a normal computer. I guess it's a computer. Are you talking to me? Are you talking to me on a Google pixel?
The phone? I don't even know. What is the name of your phone? That's an iPhone 5S.
Oh, okay. I would that. That's just, it's just that you don't know what phones are called. That's fine.
I'm on a Google pixel. So like now I'm like, are they listening? But you're all the way over there on your iPhone 5S. So I don't know how Google would have this information about you.
Unless my phone is like, he's talking to John Green. John Green is Googling an Indianapolis. They're talking about crows quick. Give them crow results.
I don't think that that's what happened. But I'm not putting it past the next level of dystopian that we're headed into. This next question comes from Deb who writes Dear John and Hank, I recently purchased a humidifier to keep my skin happy in the winter. And a thought occurred to me as I began to use it.
What would happen if I put P in this humidifier? This question has a really good plot twist John. Deb, it turns out this is only the second or third weirdest thing I've heard today. While I'm awaiting your responses, I guess I should emphasize Hank that like there might be no animal on Earth.
I want to be friends with less than a crow. Like, okay, while I am awaiting your responses, I promise I will not test it out in the meantime. Vote for Pedro, Deb. Well, Hank, suddenly we have a tremendous amount of responsibility because it is up to us whether Deb puts P in the dehumidifier.
Wait, is it a humidifier or dehumidifier? I believe it's a humidifier. Yes, that does make more sense. Okay.
Hank, what happens if you put P in a humidifier? I'm not a scientist. You are this. I mean, don't put P in a humidifier.
What's going to happen is most, but not all of what's going to come out of your humidifier is going to be water. But there probably will also be some ammonia that comes out. And that's not going to smell good because ammonia is one of the more volatile, meaning it's more it evaporates more easily. So basically your humidifier is trying to create evaporation to evaporate water.
And in that process, it will evaporate other things that have lower boiling points than water, like ammonia. And so your room will probably smell somewhat like ammonia. As that ammonia off-gasses, the area is in equilibrium with ammonia. So more ammonia will be created.
And that will continue to create more and more ammonia until all of the area has been converted into ammonia. Or until all of the water is gone, at which point the area will thaw out of solution and become a solid along with a lot of other solids that are dissolved in urine. And that will clog up your humidifier and your humidifier is filtered and you'll have to replace the filter much more quickly. So basically don't do that.
But at least you know why. Hey, Hank, do you know what the first thing that Google autofills if you Google what happens if IP in is what humidifier? No, it's gas tank. Oh, thank goodness.
Oh, good Lord. Yeah. Can I P in a cup and test it later for pregnancy? Can I be in a bidet?
Can I P in a policeman's hat? Well, it's certainly not recommended. I mean, I guess it depends on if you want to go to jail. I mean, if you like order one online, like get a policeman's hat on Amazon from a costume.
Yeah, if you want to do that, that's going to be a line from something. Wait, I read recently that a pregnant woman has the legal right to urinate in a policeman's helmet. That's what it says. It's a question to the guardian newspaper.
However, at this year's Don and Hill carnival, all officers refuse my girlfriend this honor on what grounds can they refuse such a request? Wow. My favorite response to this by a country mile is somebody who this was a British published in British newspaper. And my favorite country mile is from Barry, who wrote, surely you must be taking the piss.
This is high quality Barry Packington. Yeah, good stuff Barry. All right, let's move on to the next question. If anybody knows a Barry Packington in Nassau in the Bahamas, just give him a pat on the back for us.
We appreciate that. Can we just go hard, not weird for the rest of the pop, please? We can really like turn into like deep normal. Just a 180 degree turn back toward normal.
I mean, it was all fun in games when it was just about Blair and her. Jesus. Okay, this next question comes from Jake who asks, Dear Hank and John. So I said to my math class today and I was talking to my friend next to me when she began to yawn.
I felt it almost instinctual to look away as she covered her mouth. And then this raised the question. Is it disrespectful to look at someone while they're yawning? I became quite aware of this dilemma throughout the rest of class.
And now I'm worried that I'll somehow make someone feel self-conscious if I do look. Dubious advice is of course much appreciated, Jake. I mean, I think it's rather bad form to look at someone for more than say half a second ever. Oh my god.
I mean, no, I mean, not if you're, well, yeah, if you're talking, then no. That is a good interesting point, John. How long can you look at someone if you're not currently in communication with them without it being weird, which is it that long? It's not that long.
It's less than a second for sure. Yeah, and I have in fact found myself like being like, I did that for too long. And I feel now an urge to apologize, which I will not indulge in because that would make it even weirder. When someone, honestly, when someone looks at me for longer than one second, I immediately say I'm the one who does history.
My brother is the one who is in your chemistry class. I just say it. I don't even wait. I did that one time.
The only reason someone would look at me for longer than a second. I did that one time. And I have not done it since this occurred because the guy then said, uh, no, I need to get to my car. Well, that's brutal.
That is about the worst. That's up. He was very confused. And I also that guy I've seen him around.
He works at a restaurant in town and like, no, I can't go there anymore. Well, maybe you can, but you'll just be forever known as the guy who wasn't as famous as he fancied himself. It's been two years and I haven't been back at that restaurant. So I don't think the reason you can't look at someone when they're yawning is because they're yawning.
I think it's because when they're yawning, you're like not in conversation with them. And so they're having a private moment. And so you avert your eyes. This is what I do.
Admittedly, I don't make much eye contact when I am talking to someone because I find it weird, weird and overwhelming. But like, yeah, you avert your eyes because they're having this private moment. And then when the conversation re resumes, you go back, it just occurred to me that resumes. Is there more zooms?
Can, can I? Zoom. Don't Google again. Hey, if I for anything today, it's don't Google.
Just go to Bing.com and type in type in something. It's just Bing Auto-Fill. Yeah. I want to see your auto-fill.
Friend. Okay, you go to Bing. It says, how do I befriend someone? How do I befriend somebody on Facebook?
How do I befriend somebody on Snapchat? That's normal being your normal search engine. You don't freak me out at all. What was the question?
If you can resume, can you zoom? Yeah, probably. But the point is that once you resume conversation, you can resume my contact. And that's my personal approach.
But I'm not sure that I'm an expert in this field since I don't make a lot of eye contact. Well, it's also that I try not to yawn while I'm talking to someone, though I understand that you can't always control that. And it is sort of like, it does. It's like, there's a pause in the discussion now and you're sort of like, okay, this is something that's happening and it will end up bodily function is occurring and now it has ended and we can resume conversation.
Apparently, it means take in Latin according to Rosiano. Oh, thank you very much. I very nearly tweeted that question, John. But I thank you to Rosiano for saving me the trouble.
This next question comes from Jamie who writes, dear John and Hank, who's responsible for cleaning out the dryer lint trap? Is it the person who is taking their newly dried clothes out of the dryer or the person putting their newly washed clothes into the dryer? I'm living with roommates and I don't want this to be a hanger spacing outward or toilet paper on backward situation. It won't matter in the end, Jamie.
You're right, Jamie, it won't matter in the end because of course we'll all be dead. But this is something that matters in the middle. Yeah, I check after I take my clothes out, I clean the screen and before and when I'm about to dry clothes, I check the screen. It is not a intensive chore, the checking of the lint screen and the cleaning of the lint screen.
In fact, I kind of like cleaning the lint screen. I like how it comes off as like a sort of like this like semi-solid like holding itself together like weird piece of fabric that you can pull apart and ball up and like I don't, I like it. So I check every time personally and I don't find it to be an onerous task. And occasionally there will be a little bit on it there and I'll be like sweet.
I get the clean lint tray. Yeah, I also find it enjoyable. I think that my rule of thumb is it's the person when you're loading the dryer, you load the dryer and then you check the lint tray and then you get started. So I don't do it when I'm emptying the dryer.
I do it when I'm loading the dryer. I will say however that I once met someone who'd collected years and years worth of their dryer lint and it was a visually impressive thing. You really do build up some dryer lint. I've always, like after we dry the towels, I always like the dryer lint because it's almost like a tiny towel.
Yeah, it has like it's the same color and you know, it's the same fibers. Why was this person collecting all the dryer lint? Oh, it was, I didn't get a great sense for why, but they didn't, just speak frankly, they seemed like the kind of person who would collect years worth of dryer lint. Okay.
Okay. Sort of more of a character trait than a project then. They were, they were an artist. I still are an artist, but yeah.
Yeah. You're being as non-specific as you can be, which I might be that today's podcast is in fact brought to you by artistic eccentricity, artistic eccentricity. Is it inherent or is it kind of a construct? I'm not sure.
This podcast is also brought to you by the tiger. Is the tiger Nile? Is Nile the cage? Is the tiger the cage?
The tiger? The tiger is out, but it's also in because the tiger is also the cage. And of course today's podcast is brought to you by the second best cheese in America from 2010. America's second best 2010 cheese, now named Blair.
And this podcast is also brought to you by deep normal, deep normal. It's where we need to be headed. Strong, strong, turn into deep normal, John. Dryer land is probably a really good, good deep normal thing to discuss.
Though then you ended up in artistic eccentricity in a several garbage bags full of dryer land. So, I mean, still fairing well better than making friends with crows, which by the way, it's not that that's weird. It's the Google auto fill thing that freaked me out. This next question, Janet comes from Joshua who asks, Dear Hank and John, why is it that computers always run slower when they're first turned on?
I always hear that they need to get warmed up. But is that a thing? If it is, why aren't we just putting fuzzy socks and knit hats on our computers? They're getting the mugs of warm tea to help speed them up when we turn them on Joshua.
Joshua? This is definitely like it's a car thing. It's a machine thing that they can operate better when they're warm because the oil gets more viscous. You know, your catalytic converter doesn't work as well unless it's heated up.
Stuff like that is where this phrase comes from. But that is not why your computer takes extra time to get going at optimal speed before or after it starts up. That's because there's a lot of things that happen when your computer starts up and all those things are happening. Like all those programs are running, they're opening simultaneously.
Lots of different things are occurring. And then once your computer is booted up, those things are done happening. And you don't have to, your programs that you're running aren't competing for resources with those things. And that's why.
I often find when I'm using my computer that it gets really slow and then I'll go into my task list and I'll notice that I have, you know, 75 different programs running at the same time. And I'm always reminded of this great onion point counterpoint. They used to do this series called point counterpoint where one person with one perspective would write an editorial and then right below that someone who disagrees with write an editorial and then you would have to decide who you agree with. And the point in this particular one was written by an office manager and the headline was my computer hates me and the counterpoint was written by the computer and it was called I Hate That Idiot.
And I always think about that. I always think like God why does my computer hate me and then I go into my task list and I'm like oh right it hates me because I'm being so mean to it. Yeah, I was once called to a friend's dorm room in college to fix her computer and I opened up her, you know, sort of like the hard drive inspector and she had like 200 kilobytes of space left on her computer and I was like where? What?
Why? What have you downloaded? And it wasn't that she had like, you know, like 100 MP3s but she had managed to download part of like 4,000 songs and she had no idea that she'd done it. And it was just like the Napster because this was in the Napster area.
The Napster like partial song incomplete download folder was her entire hard drive. Wow man Napster it's been a while. My computer currently has seven gigs free out of 500 because I'm always fighting a war against wanting to preserve every movie clip I have ever generated while making vlogbrothers videos and also wanting my computer to work as an ongoing fight that I've been having for 11 years now. Well I'll tell you what John I gave up that fight a long time ago and now just delete everything.
All right Hank it is time for the all important news from Mars and AFC Wimbledon. All right John the Mars news is pretty obvious this week Elon Musk put three of his Falcon 9 boosters together into the Falcon Heavy which has 27 boosters because I just multiplied 9x3 and that is 27 engines. That's a lot of thrust John and was able to prove that this thing works. Two of the boosters landed on land they came back they landed almost simultaneously.
It was beautiful and perfect and I can't believe it. The third the central stage booster crashed into the ocean not even very close to the drone ship it was supposed to land on but two out of three ain't bad and and the Falcon Heavy test flight contained because why not Tesla with a man of like a crash test dummy in a spacesuit on it and and then resulted in some very good pictures and then the that capsule did its secondary burn which takes it out of the orbit of Earth and into orbit around the Sun and that the idea was to get it roughly into Mars's orbit though it wasn't going to orbit Mars so it was going to be roughly at the same distance from the Sun as Mars going around the Sun not going around Mars which would have required a lot more careful telemetry and a lot more communications equipment and so it but instead it turned out that the rocket had enough to get it past Mars's orbit and it's headed for the asteroid belt John it's out there now on its way to the asteroid belt but we have proved that the Falcon Heavy can deliver things to Mars it just has to be more careful and also that that this is the first private space flight ever that has taken anything out of Earth's orbit so that's pretty remarkable. So this means that with current technology Elon Musk and his company can get stuff to Mars. That is correct yes that's amazing.
I know it's good news John. People to Mars are just stuff. Right now they can only get people they can only get stuff to Mars just because the crew capsules have not been built yet. The space launch system which is NASA's Heavy rocket will have a crew capsule that will be ready before the Falcon is ready to launch people but the way we're going to get to Mars is not all at once so it's not going to be one like with Apollo you could get everything on one rocket and you could get the landing and return all of it on one rocket that is not how we're going to get to Mars we're going to have to send things ahead of time to land on Mars so that those things are up and running and probably creating fuel from the Martian atmosphere on the surface of Mars and also the water on Mars theoretically hopefully and then the astronauts will go after that stuff happens so it is important to have a heavy rocket that can send stuff other than people.
It seems like it's going to be hard to do all of that by 2027. Well you know John the world is a great place full of wonder and mystery and unexpected successes so we'll just hold on and see what happens. You also want to expect failures. I really liked something Elon Musk said in the wake of this because he did put his old Tesla Roadster into orbit which is pretty cool.
Quick question when it goes out into the asteroid belt is it going to get pummeled by asteroids? Probably not. There is pretty empty out there but several of my people I follow on Twitter were like hey Elon can you share the orbit data with us so we can see because it isn't just like the question of is it going to hit something which almost certainly it won't there's just not a lot of stuff in space but also how stable is its orbit going to be so it could end up being influenced by the gravity of Jupiter or doing a gravity assist on a smaller asteroid or something and and its orbit might change it might get sent out of the asteroid belt it might be sent in closer to the inner solar system. In any case it's not like a dangerous thing.
In general he mostly was like don't actually hit Mars with this thing because there's very specific protocols for things that can land on other planets. Right. And so they didn't want him to actually hit Mars with the main concern but it's pretty hard to actually get into a planet because you almost always end up in orbit rather than intersecting because it actually usually you have to slow down a lot for your orbit to deteriorate enough that you will enter a planets atmosphere. So it's pretty hard to actually get a planet.
No. Well I really like the quote that he said after this about putting the Tesla into orbit it's kind of silly and fun but I think that silly and fun things are important and I think that's so true. I agree. I agree.
Speaking of silly and fun things. I wish I had something to share. Oh no. AFC Wimbledon unbeaten in January didn't give up a single goal it was our month as Mira Ballis we just played phenomenally and then in February it's been a month as Hora Ballis just horrible lost to nil to I know I say this wrong.
Rothingham Rothingham Rotterham whatever that team and then we went to yesterday as we're recording this we went to Barry like you know Barry the bodies B.U.R.Y. and it was a makeup game they're the bottom team in league one they're in the very bottom they're in last place. Oh no. We lost to one.
It was very disappointing. So now is your new your new foot hitting the ball John? No Joe Piggett played the whole game he didn't score a single goal fair disappointing so it's I don't know hopefully things are going to take a turn for the better in February we had such a wonderful January and then February so far has been terrible fortunately the the dawns are still above the relegation zone while the franchise playing at Strade Milton Keynes is still down there but it is getting quite tight it's quite tight at the bottom the dawns are in 19th and only two points clear of Oldham who are currently the first team in the relegation zone so I don't know 16 games left in the league one season here's the basic situation there's 16 games left and Wimbledon need from those 16 games around 18 points so if we could just win the next six games we can do whatever we want in the last 10 but we do need to win six more games all right um how many games are there I just said there were 16 there are 16 left but it's okay you're not the only one not listening the thing is John that I was looking at this information that was supplied to us by this remarkable person who has created the Bath Bombardment compartment yes we're gonna get to that right now we need to read a couple responses to things but before I get to the extraordinary Bath Bombardment compartment created by Leanna or possibly Leanna I need to read this response from Stacy who wrote Dear John and Hank in a recent episode of the pod Sarah shared her method of tying laces where you wrap the string around twice you wrap the loop around twice I you know I'll put a link to a video of it on the patreon you can go to patreon.com so you don't have to give money to see the video or anything and you can see this magical way of tying your shoes that really is a game changer I recently got new winter boots that kept coming on tide which is very annoying in a snowy Canadian winter but I started using the serum method and my life has changed forever this is the ultimate shoe tying method no question bring on winter and it really is the ultimate shoe tying method although I should say for the record it is not the serum method Sarah would like it to be clear that the as far as she is concerned the credit for this method should go to her cousin Mark so thank you Mark I've seen people do that and I didn't realize there was a reason for it and I used to have shoes that just came on tide all the time and now I have shoes that don't tie I got shoes that have like a drawstring basically and I feel like I I feel like I live in the like I live in in 38 John it's the future over here all right let's get to the sweater all right liana is a senior majoring in bioengineering long time listener the pod and has created a blog titled re hank and john in which I attempt to implement some of your dubious advice into my own life I have had an amazing time getting out of my comfort zone and trying your incredibly dubious advice so there is a blog it's at re hank and john dot blogspot dot com and the inaugural post to re hank and john none other than creating the bath bombardment and went swimmingly well although it's a little rustic it is indeed it is made of a clothes hanger some Tupperware that has a lot of holes poked in it some some more rubber bands and yeah you see what happens the shower goes into the thing and then it dissolves then you can take a bath bomb with a shower this is so much better than I ever thought possible I mean this is even though it looks fairly jerry rigged together this is so much better than I ever thought a bath bombardment compartment could ever be it's truly truly magnificent since then liana has gone on to attempt cereal dust granola another another another extraordinarily dubious suggestion but it looks it looks like she's had a great time this is a wonderful wonderful blog re hank and john dot blogspot dot com if you're into the pod you'll be into this yeah i'm in the theory the cereal dust granola looks great john I think spoiler alert loved it the liana loves the freaking cereal dust granola i like i think i think that john we we might actually have a lot of very good ideas on this podcast oh god no don't encourage him liana but do keep up the good work what did we learn today we learned we learned that blare is truly the second best choose of two thousand ten america and we also learned that it's okay to befriend crows as long as you don't feed them to make them your friends and also we learned that apparently according to google lots of people want to befriend crows lots but but not but not people who use being people who use being what to befriend normal people which is particularly surprising because people use being and lastly we learned don't pee in your humidifier oh yes don't so glad that we learned that john otherwise how would we ever have known um john you know what one of my favorite parts of the week is every week is it the part where we record this weekend ryan's are terrible podcast for patrons at patreon.com slash deer hank and john i was just gonna say that it's the part where we record a podcast but yeah i mean that's part of it oh yeah it's also one of my favorite parts of the week thank you for doing this with me thanks to everybody for listening and making it possible thanks to everybody who supports us on patreon it allows us to help make the shows we make it complexly and thank thank you for plotting with me and i'm gonna let you read the credits this podcast is edited by nicholas jenkins it's produced by rosionna halsrohasen shares in gibson victoria bonjourno is our head of community and communications the theme music you are listening to is from the great gunner role he also does the music for this week and ryan's which is available at patreon.com slash deer hank and john where you can find out more about the bath bombardment compartment and also about serial description and also about how to tie your shoes like mark and sarah thank you all for listening it's an absolute pleasure and as they say in our hometown don't forget to be awesome