#13 - woooah

***EMERGENCY ANNOUNCEMENT*** Our hero has acquired a new theme song! In other news, a beast ravages the city. Nothing too notable, besides the fact that a rampaging hippopotamus, loose from his mother's arms at age 51, is turning the oasis of Palm Beach into a catastrophic event. The most comparable scenario is the Russian war with Ukraine, but even that is lightyears below the levels of atrocity taking place. The baby hippo, though 51 years of age, is crushing Planned Parenthoods all across the state. His target: Miami nightclubs at 3 am on a Tuesday. The hippo released a statement, "It's gonna get... anal." Authorities are telling anyone or anythey who appose the "Don't Say Gay" bill to seek cover or stand in the streets wielding signs and sunscreen. This is Mikey Bo Bikey, Fe Fi Fo Fikey reporting in from the safety of the Gay Times headquarters.