138: Why You’re Obsessed with People Who Hurt You (And How to Finally Stop) With Nicole Vignola

Are you tired of replaying the same scenarios in your head, checking their socials, and wondering why you can’t let go—even when you know they’re wrong for you? In this episode of The Sabrina Zohar Show, neuroscientist and author Nicole Vignola breaks down exactly what’s happening in your brain when you’re stuck on someone who isn’t right for you. From the dopamine loops that keep you addicted to the anticipation of a text to the childhood patterns shaping your attachment style, we dig into the neuroscience of obsession and how to actually break the cycle. You’ll learn why your brain seeks intermittent rewards, how to interrupt obsessive loops, what the default mode network has to do with emotional spirals, and the role of self-compassion in rewiring your brain. Nicole also shares tools like cognitive reframing, dopamine redirection, and the physiological sigh to help regulate your nervous system and regain control. If you're stuck in a spiral post-breakup or can’t stop thinking about someone who isn’t showing up for you, this episode is your science-backed roadmap to let go for good. Want to dive deeper into this? Check out Nicole’s book Rewire, and don’t forget to subscribe to The Sabrina Zohar Show for more brain-based dating and relationship tools. MERCH IS NOW AVAILABLE! Stuck After the Podcast? Master Implementation in 8 Weeks with Sabrina's Foundation Course HERE! Do you feel like your emotions run the show and react in ways you can’t control? Join the Nervous System 101: Navigating the Unknowns In Early Dating from Sabrina and Masha Kay HERE! Struggling with a breakup? Join the Make It Make Sense: Getting Through a Breakup course from Sabrina and Britt Frank HERE! Get Ad free HERE! Want to work with Sabrina? HERE! Don't forget to follow Sabrina and The Sabrina Zohar Show on Instagram and Sabrina on TikTok! Video now available on YOUTUBE! Disclaimer: The Sabrina Zohar Show, formally known as Do The Work, is not affiliated with A.Z & associates LLC in any capacity. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices