140. People Pleasing in Relationships - The Psychology Behind Why You Put Others First

Send Gemma a messageEXCITING NEWS - Love Wisely Foundations is here! Enroll now for this one of a kind program and receive early access benefitsWhy do some people constantly put others first, struggle to say no, worry excessively about upsetting people, or feel guilty for prioritising themselves?In this episode of Healing for Love, Dr. Gemma Gladstone explores the deeper psychology behind people pleasing through a schema therapy lens.This is not simply about being “too nice.” People pleasing is often a learned survival strategy rooted in early relational experiences, attachment dynamics, fear, guilt, conditional acceptance and coping styles developed in childhood.Gemma unpacks: What people pleasing actually is  Why it develops  The difference between self-sacrifice, subjugation and approval-seeking  Why guilt and fear often drive people pleasing behaviours  How early family dynamics shape self-suppression  Why some women struggle to set boundaries or speak up in relationships  The connection between people pleasing and emotionally unavailable or narcissistic partners  How schemas influence dating, relationships and self-trust  Why people pleasing is often linked to survival, safety and connection  Small practical steps to begin changing these patterns This episode also explores: Self-sacrifice schema  Subjugation schema  Approval-seeking schema  Abandonment dynamics  Conditional parenting  Coping modes and “dating personas”  The importance of reconnecting with your own needs, preferences and authenticity If you often: Put other people’s needs ahead of your own  Feel guilty saying no  Worry excessively about upsetting others  Need reassurance before making decisions  Stay quiet to avoid conflict  Feel anxious expressing yourself  Struggle with boundaries in dating or relationships …this episode will likely resonate deeply.Mentioned in this episodeGemma also shares details about her upcoming self-study program:Love Wisely Foundations (coming soon!) - a schema-informed relationship program designed to help women understand and rewrite unhealthy relationship patterns and “love template.”Support the show🎓FREE LIVE MASTERCLASS - Why smart women override red flags in dating😊Love Wisely Foundations is here! Enroll now for this one of a kind guided program🩷 Join Love Wisely PRIORITY List  ✅Dating App Profile CHECK-UP🎁 Dating With Insight - FREE Guide💛 Elevate You Worth (50% off only for listeners) - Use coupon WORTHY Connect with Me 📩[email protected]  🌐 Website: drgemmagladstone.com 📷 Instagram: @drgemmacoaching🌻 Support the Podcast 🙏Love the show? Help us keep going with a monthly contribution: Support here