141// When life looks good on the outside, but inside you feel like crap...

From the outside, my life looked great... ...even looking at it myself, I could say it was great. I had just had a baby, I was running a successful business, I was living in a beautiful part of the world, It looked great. But truthfully, I was struggling big time. Yes. I had all that I had once wished for, but holding it all was exhausting me. I was going through the biggest identity shift I will ever go through, the maiden to mother shift. I was also very plugged into my business, which was doing well, but the structure of it wasnt working for my new role as a mother. I was in the middle of shedding friendships, while also making new ones. I was holding a lot, and coming apart at the seams. I felt so guilty and shameful, that I wasnt feeling grateful every second of the day.  I beat myself up, saying to myself "you should be happy, look at what you have" And that shame only only added to the internal chaos I was feeling. Until I stopped, and gave myself permission to feel this heaviness and surrender to it. It was ok. It was ok to have my inner and outer worlds misaligned right now. Of course it was hard to enjoy what was right in front of me, when I was carrying a lot which came with a bunch of heavy sensations and feelings. I was at capcity, with no room for anything else. And when I gave myself that permission, I felt a sense of relief. A big exhale. There was nothing wrong with me. I wasnt ungrateful or numb to what I had. I just needed sapce to process everything, and release a lot of emotion, so I could finally fully enjoy the beauty right in front of me. If you relate to this, let me know. Youre not alone.   BOOK A BREATHWORK SESSION COME HANG ON INSTAGRAM