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Tickets go on sale to the general public June 30th at somethingworthknowing.com. So come build a better world with us on September 16th and experience something worth knowing you can get your ticket at Complexly.info slash something. Hello and welcome to Dear Hank and John. Where's that for thing with your Johnny Hank?
It's a comedy podcast where two brothers will answer your questions, give you advice, advice, and give you all the weeks to do some both from Mars and AFC Wimbledon. What is the elephant in the room? I mean I'm sure we can have the same elephant room this week. We'll give it a go anyway.
Three, two, one, Justice Kennedy. Now we did just find out that Justice Kennedy is retiring which is a bummer but the important news of the week, I mean a bummer. I don't even know how to talk about the Supreme Court right now Hank so I'm not going to try. Instead I'm going to talk about the amazing drama of the World Cup.
This weird timeline in which we find ourselves in the Multiverseank where so many things are not great but sports just continues to deliver. A Chicago Cubs World Series, AFC Wimbledon promoted to the third tier of English football, Liverpool oh so close to a Champions League victory and then this year's World Cup is the best World Cup of my lifetime by a wide margin despite the fact that my home nation is not even involved in it. The drama is incredible. I almost barfed a couple hours ago watching the World Cup.
That's how stressful and exciting it was. I got to tell you John, on my Twitter feed most of the news today has been about like slack being down. I haven't caught a great deal of World Cup news except something to do with Germany not being in the World Cup anymore. That's right.
Germany failed to qualify for the knockout rounds. Sheridan who helps produce this podcast, huge fan of the German national team, absolutely devastated. On the other hand, my loyalty is split because the pride of North America, Mexico, qualified only because Germany didn't. So I have to confess that I was excited about that.
Excited for Rosie Anna and also excited for North America. But yeah, 31 teams are going to lose the World Cup this year, Hank. And they all did better than America. That's right.
And they can go home feeling good about that. So is Mexico in the qualifier for the knockout rounds? Or is it there even up? Nope, they're in the round of 16.
In fact, by the time this podcast gets uploaded, they may be out of the World Cup. They have to play a game to see if they get to the next round. Well, now it's the knockout round. So called every game is winner, go home.
Oh, I thought the knockout round was like sometimes in some sports, you have a time when it's like the people who didn't do well get to play each other to stay in the tournament? No, no, we don't have that. No, it's not a thing. Okay.
So it's the third place game. If you make it to the semifinals, you get to play to figure out who finishes third. It's the bummerous game in the World Cup every year. But anyway, Hank, let's not talk about football or the Supreme Court.
Let's answer some questions from our listeners. John, if there was any sport before we get to questions from our listeners, if there was any sport that you could have be as big a deal as soccer, that isn't currently as big a deal as soccer. What sport would that be? Can I pick soccer in the United States?
No, no, that's not in the spirit of the question, John. Let me come up with an answer. I think it would be amazing if the entire world were captivated every four years by a team, a handball, global tournament. Handball, the ball, the things.
I just think we're possibly table tennis. Yeah, what about that game? What about that game? What about that game where they play in somewhere where it's volleyball, but you have to use your feet?
You can't use your hands? Yeah, football. I think that's a technical term for it. That's good.
That would be really good. I actually, you know, I played like the only game that I accept for hockey that I ever played with any amount of gusto was Ultimate Frisbee. Me too. I feel like why not?
Why not? The World Cup of Ultimate Frisbee? Indeed. I think that professional Ultimate Frisbee is incredible.
Talk about drama. I mean, what it's a heck of a good sport. The way I played it in high school, not quite as beautiful, but still, there are so many great sports out there that don't get the attention that they deserve. What about like robotics, you know, like those high school robotics teams?
I'd love to see that in the Olympics. Is there an Olympic? Is there a sport hank in which either current you or some past version of you would have had a legitimate chance of making it to the Olympics? Like video blogging, maybe?
I don't think so. I don't think it'd be rude. Maybe 2008. You could have made it to the Olympics in video blogging.
Maybe? Right. Because there's a lot of competition. Right.
The American the American bench was pretty weak. But I don't know. I think so much. Yeah, sometimes I think like, am I a good enough?
I have it. I could totally go to the World Cup for singing fast about science. Oh, that's very yes. That's good.
That's good. I'm definitely in the top. And because just because there's, as we say, not a huge pool. Right.
It's important to be, my friend Amy Cross wasn't told me once that more than being important to excel at something, it's important to excel at something extremely specific. And I find that to be really deeply true. It's a very true. Let's answer some questions from our listeners.
This one comes from Josh who writes, Dear John and Hank, after getting the chance to live with my sister for a few years in our mid 20s, we become very close. This is a great gift because we didn't have the best relationship growing up. This past year I got engaged and purchased a house which has led to less contact and communication with my sister. Most of our recent communications has become sharing YouTube videos with each other.
While I should be happy that we have a good relationship and enjoy the same things like any other sibling, I'm more concerned about who should get credit for discovering those videos. Is the discoverer of new content the person who views it first or the person who shares it first? Whoever's wrong has to buy the other copy of an absolutely remarkable thing which comes out September 25th and is available for pre-order now. Just meying around, Josh, PS the wedding is on March 17th just north of Boston and you are both invited.
Hank, I took the liberty of going to Josh's wedding website. He didn't give us that much information, but he did give us enough information because Google is creepy for me to find his wedding website where he's wearing the exception. Thank you for supporting us over at dftba.com. Josh, the relevant thing here, Hank, before we get to the question is that on their website there's a big button that says menu and then it says our wedding and then underneath that it says details and I went to details because I want to know where is the wedding, can I realistically go, etc.
I click details. There is nothing. There's nothing under the details, menu, Hank, and then there's no photos under the photos thing and then they don't even have a registry up. Josh, for the love of God, get your registry on the internet, man.
I wanted to buy your wedding book. You're going to send your wedding information to a famous author who might want to buy you a crock pot or something. You've got to have that up there. You want me to bookmark the page and keep visiting every day until you update your registry because I will, if necessary, Josh, puts a detailed tab of your wedding website.
How did this question, this fine question about asking who gets the credit for discovering a video devolve into you criticizing someone's wedding website which clearly is not the most important website on the internet. I mean, it's the most important website related to Josh's wedding on the internet. That's true. It doesn't make me feel a little bit like I don't have a ton of faith that they're going to put on the most sort of well-run, like, blockwork wedding.
To be fair, their wedding is not for 263 days. It is a while from now. That's true. It is a while from now.
John, do you have any examples of a YouTube video that you feel like you found before? Everyone and you were like, this is going to be big and then it became big? Yes, the history of Japan video by Bill Wertz. Ah, yes.
I saw it when it had fewer than 10,000 views and I watched it and I sent it to Sarah. And Sarah was like, this is great. And when Sarah likes a YouTube video, I know it's going to be real big. I once watched it.
I fairly recently watched a video that I said, I tweeted and I said, this is going to be huge and then it wasn't. Oh, really? Which is pretty regular for me, actually. I tend to think that it's easier to go viral than it actually is, John.
Yes, it is not that easy to go viral, especially now. The internet now contains, I don't know if you've noticed this, a lot of videos. Indeed. Indeed.
And to really go occasionally, you see something and you're like, this is going to do it and then it actually does. And that always feels good when you tweet it early. And I think that there is some cred that you get for that, some status you could sort of achieve when it's like, I was a, I don't know, and should you though, because you didn't make the video and also like it wasn't you that may go viral. Right.
But you know, there is something that feels good about being like among the first 1000 subscribers to a new YouTube channel or the first 1000 people to see a video that ends up going huge or listening to somebody's mixtape before they below up or whatever. There is something fun about that. That said, the person who gets credit for the video is the person who shares it, not the person who sees it. Yeah.
Absolutely. You got to share. Yeah. Because otherwise you get to be lying.
Like you're like, oh, show me your like a screenshot of your YouTube history. You might be just editing editing the HTML. I can't believe you. I don't have any reason to trust you, Josh.
Also on the 2018 internet, if it didn't get shared, it literally didn't happen. Yeah. Yeah. That's it.
Yeah. Shares shares didn't happen. I, I can't trust anything anymore. So if I didn't see, if I didn't see an email from Josh, then I trust, I trust no one.
Yeah. I mean, I don't even, I don't even, I, God, I, how did we get to the start timeline? Sorry. What's the next question?
This next question comes from Alex, John. It says, Hey, Hank and John. That's super casual. Hey, yeah.
Super cash, super cash. Alex says, I say like a lot. As do my friends as do you guys. It's true.
We do say like, uh, but whenever I go home, my mom makes like a big deal of it. Some doesn't say like I just inserted a like because that's what I do. Sometimes stopping the conversation whenever I say like, I never noticed it until she points it out. And now I really listen to what I say.
Is it just a normal part of our language now? Do you notice yourself doing it all the time? Pumpkin's and penguins, Alex, your mom's just harshing your buzz, man. Yeah.
I mean, partial. You're young buddy. Just harshing on your yums. It's not cool.
Here's the thing about like, if you don't say like you either say said constantly, right, or you don't have those weird pauses in your speech, which I think makes your speech sound more weird, at least to me. Like there's a reason we say like, and it's to create a pause. It's to create a moment for us to think, but also to create a moment between whatever we just said and what we're like about to say. And then the other way you use like is when you say like that, like the person was like, I'm so tired.
And then the other person was like, I'm also tired post VidCon. And then a third person was like, well, I'm tired of trying to brave the onslaught of horrors that I see from the social internet. And I'm disgusted and despondent with the state of discourse in the United States. And those people didn't maybe literally say those things.
And that's why you say like is because you're not actually quoting someone. You're trying to deliver the content of what they said or at least of what you heard. So I actually think that like plays a good role in our language. Yeah, I think definitely there are times when I listen to someone talk it, I think to myself, that's too many likes.
Sure. But I use it as an um, I also um, and we're professional talkers on this podcast. If we are doing it, semi-professionals, if we're doing it and people are okay with it, I think it's probably okay at this point. So you can tell your mom that instead of saying like you're not going to say shirk all the time and she's not have to deal with that.
And you'll be you'll be shirk mom. I am just going to say shirk all the time now. Right. Nobody wants to hear and then she was shirk.
I can't believe Germany didn't qualify for the knockout round. Well, if they can't tell right now, I'm very sleepy. Yeah, I apologize for a little bit of slurriness and my vocal fatterns. And if you could see me, you you would be like, that guy needs some rest and you'd be right.
Yeah. All right. Our next question comes from Tomomi who asks, Dear John and Hank, after so many times that I've had deadlines for papers at 11.59 PM, I started to wonder how did people live without being able to check the time so easily? How did people tell time before clocks?
When you wanted to meet someone, did you just wait around all day or hope you randomly bumped into them at some point? Also, it would be a cool challenge to try to go the whole day without checking the time in a place without sunshine. It's time to get an absolutely remarkable thing to mommy. John, when I read this question, I thought to myself, here's the thought I had.
How do you turn in a paper at 11.59 PM? I also thought I was like, are you like rushing across campus? And then I realized, Oh, right. Oh, right.
Yeah. Emailing it. When we when we turned in papers, when we went to school, we handed them to the professor on the day they were due when the class happened. Absolutely.
100%. With our hands. Do it at the beginning of class. Occasionally things would be due at 11.59 PM, I guess, but usually when I was turning them in late.
Right. I never remember doing anything at 11. And also, this is sort of like it's hilarious to me that a professor is like sitting there at their desk being like, it's 11.58 to get a bunch of papers all at once. Also, you've literally waited till the last minute.
Literally. I feel like nothing inspires a lack of confidence in a professor quite like reading a paper that was turned in at 11.59 PM and 42 seconds. You know, what that screams to me is I was not prepared. This is not done is what it says to me.
It's as close as I could get. Yeah. No, absolutely. What do people do before?
Well, that's an interesting question. So in a lot of places, there still isn't the same time obsession that we have in here in the United States. And we didn't have it in most of the world or any of the world really before the Industrial Revolution when people started clocking in to work, when there started to be a lot of workers who were no longer agricultural workers whose days weren't determined by sunshine, but instead by hours. So I think that was kind of the beginning of the change.
But in lots of places in the world, you still see time dealt with differently. And in a lot of cases, that means you have an appointment for the afternoon. And you don't know exactly when in the afternoon it will be the obsession with minute by minute punctuality is definitely not a global phenomenon. But it is a big part of my personal life.
I mean, it's definitely more efficient. And I think that the Industrial Revolution had a strong focus on understanding efficiency as a thing, like even understanding that that is a thing. And I was understanding that it's sort of a virtue. And I also, it's sort of remarkable to me to think that I am not actually a slave to the clock.
And I feel a little bit as if I am, because of course, like my meetings start usually on the hour and then go for a half an hour or 50 minutes or something. And so I am paying attention all the time to that thing. But when that thing goes away, you still have to do the work. And so what did how do people decide when they had to get up?
It wasn't like, oh, it's like, I'm gonna have to get up, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, noise. It was like, the work's not gonna get done. And then I'm gonna be hungry or not get paid or not get like my family will not be taken care of. Right.
I do sometimes wish that I were not as clock focused as I am. And even when I was a kid, I remember looking at the clock much less because I didn't own a watch. And obviously there were no smartphones. And so, you know, lots of times I wouldn't know what time it is.
These days, I can usually at least during the day tell you what time it is within 10 minutes just by thinking without looking at a clock. And that's a little distressing to me. Because you're right that the Industrial Revolution put a great emphasis on efficiency and the value of efficiency. But also in a way, it created this idea that our lives exist to run efficiently and to like fill needs in marketplaces.
And it's a little disturbing to me because sometimes I wonder, does the market exist to make people better or do people only exist to make the markets more efficient? And then the last thing I will add, I'm not gonna add anything to that particular line of thinking. But there was a time when clocks had to be quite large and so you could have like a big one in your house, but you certainly weren't gonna get one on your wrist. And during that period of time, it was like, well, how are we gonna have everybody know sort of roughly what time it is?
And if you're gonna try to solve that problem, one way to do it would be to build a very large clock that you could see from far away and or ring a bell at every hour for the number of like, ring four bells of four o'clock, which is why that happens. And it's sort of weird to think like, this is just a thing that happens. We don't need this. We continue to do it.
But at one point, it was a very important part of like everybody would be on the same page. There's a clock tower by my house that rings on the hour, and I still love that. And it reminds me of when I was in college, you were not considered late until the clock tower had banged for the last time. So if it was 11 and you got there before the 11th being, you were on time.
I loved it. And then one o'clock, it starts to get a lot more tight. Exactly. I tried to schedule all my classes for 11 to save that six seconds because I'm so time obsessed.
This next question comes from Kim who writes, Dear John and Hank, I live in Southern Florida and the trail near my house that I use for exercise borders a wetland preserve. I've seen alligators along the stretch while driving, and I've had to go around poisonous snakes on the sidewalk while biking. As a native for Indian, I understand that these animals would like to avoid me as much as I would like to avoid them and how to keep a respectful distance. However, there is a definite level of vigilance that is absent when I exercise elsewhere.
My question is, does this primal fear help me burn more calories or otherwise improve my workout? Reptiles and rollerblades, Kim. If there's actually rollerblades involved, you really should have led with that because the idea of you like jumping and skating around a bunch of like coral snakes just really makes my day. I'm also seeing you like to jump off the back of an alligator like it's a ramp and I'm just liking this.
I feel like Kim, maybe you should have some kind of 90s animated 15 or 11 minute TV series. That would be great. I'm here for that. I absolutely.
I also think that in general, anything that motivates you to ride your bike faster is good and the fear of death probably is providing that. I think you definitely get an adrenaline boost from that. Like I've run and barely missed a snake before, like with my footfall and for like five minutes after that, I was definitely running faster. Now, I don't know that it increased my overall time because for like five minutes after that, I was running slower because I was tired.
But I do think getting an adrenaline boost, it can't hurt. So I would say get as close to those alligators as you can. I mean, actually, like encourage them to bite because that's going to be a bigger adrenaline boost. Yeah, you got to get hungry alligators, not just alligators.
Or your family, you could be like, hey, y'all, if you could go and like lay down some fake snakes on my rollerblading route, I won't know the difference because I won't know for sure if they're real or not. But make sure you don't think don't think like, oh, these are probably fake because they might not be, they might be real. You don't know which ones are fake and which ones are real and you don't want to skate over one of them and suddenly have it detached by sucking your wheels wiggling around, wobbling around, covered in scales and teeth. You've ever wondered what Hank is like when he's really tired.
You just heard it. Oh man, I'm so tired. My body's very confused. I took a nap at 9am today.
It was not long enough. I should have napped more. This next question comes from Brent who asks, Dear Hank and John, I have a dilemma. I'm an artist in high school and I recently opened commissions where I draw people or their pets for money.
Shortly after I posted them, I got messages from two different people who are interested, but these people are dating each other as it's their one-year anniversary soon and they each want a drawing of them together to get to the other person. This is an issue. I can't exactly tell either of them because it's a gift, but I don't want to have them both pay for the same thing. That feels like a scam helps.
It's not the same thing. What? It's not the same thing. You got to make two different artworks.
Two artworks. Yes. Art works. Two arts.
Yes. They two arts. You got paid to do two arts, do two arts and then it's super adorable because they both get an art that's different, but it's from the same artist because that's so cute. You got to do it.
I would propose though that you do two vastly different arts. So in one of the drawings you have like the couple at Hogwarts Gryffindor and she's a Ravenclaw and they're riding their brooms, playing Quidditch against each other and then in the other one it's like 1972 in Los Angeles and they're just learning how to skate. Yeah. Yeah.
Sure. That. Those both sound great. I was still stuck in Florida and snakes and discovered in snakes, but that's way less good than learning how to skateboard in the 70s in Los Angeles.
That sounds awesome. I have a romantic gift for you. It's super romantic. It's a picture of the two of us covered in snakes.
A picture of the two of us at the World Cup of Ultimate Frisbee. Which reminds me that today's podcast is brought to you by the World Cup of Ultimate Frisbee. The World Cup of Ultimate Frisbee. Just you will not believe that Frisbee catches involved.
Ultimate Frisbee, extravaganza. This podcast is also brought to you by the word shirk. That's what you say instead of like always from now on just to make your mom know that she's being a pill. And today's podcast is also brought to you by 11.59 p.m.
11.59 p.m. A non-ideal time to turn in your paper. And finally this podcast is brought to you by incomplete wedding websites. Come on, Josh.
Get with it, Josh. Come on. There's only 259 days left to go. This next question, John, it comes from L who asks Dear Hank and John, the group of girls I've been friends with, best friends with, since 8th grade is planning a trip to Europe next year as a graduation celebration.
My issue? I don't want to go. I love my friends and all, but I don't think I want to spend four weeks living in hostels with them, especially because it might be a stretch for me to afford due to my attendency to accept unpaid internships. Situation is further complicated by the fact that my ex-girlfriend will be along on the trip as well.
On the other hand, part of me wants to go anyway, so I don't miss out on these possible amazing memories. How do I tell my friends I don't want to go? Or should I just go and bear the discomfort out of a fear of missing out in distress? L.
You should go, L. Yeah, I think you should go. I also feel that way. I think you should go and I do think that there will be parts of it that are uncomfortable, but I also think that in 10 years, you won't be able to go to Europe and live in hostels for a month for a variety of reasons, one of which is that you will have developed a pretty serious aversion to body lice.
You got to go. I was thinking just the normal aches and pains of being 30, but also that. I think probably L might now have a pretty serious aversion to body lice. The good news is it's manageable.
It's true. It's not fatal. Else. Don't worry about it.
Head to the hostels. No, I think it's such a great opportunity and you probably don't know how fun it will be until you go. It will be stressful and scary, but it will also be many other things. The memories that you will make on that trip are really valuable.
Obviously Hank and I don't actually know what your situation is and it may be that you just can't bear to go and you really can't afford to go, in which case, maybe don't. But I think you should go. All things being equal, not knowing a ton about this situation. Yeah, I feel the same all the way.
All right. Hank, we got a lot of questions this week about US immigration policy and I want to ask one of them. This one comes from who Lisa who writes, I live in McAllen, a city at the Texas, Mexico border with a Hispanic population that makes up the vast majority of the city. I'm very fortunate.
I'm going to college and will be applying to medical school next summer. I had a great cultural upbringing. My parents are both in Mexican descent and I would not have chosen to have been raised anywhere else in any way else. However, when I began hearing about the detention centers in cities at the border, I discovered much to my horror that one of the largest, if not the largest detention center for undocumented immigrant children is in my city, actually down the street from where my sister goes to high school.
It's very hard for me to watch the videos of the detention centers because the people in them are the same types of people that I see at home or college or at the grocery store. They're just people who were born half an hour away and for trying to live that half an hour up north, they're having their families torn apart and their kids put in cells. Yet as much as I'm nauseated and deeply saddened by what is happening in my city, I feel a sense of defeat as if there's nothing aside from volunteering and running supply drives, which I'm already taking part in, that I can do to stop this administration in their quest to stop this administration in their quest for wins at politics. Any advice on how to stay optimistic and feel like my voice still matters in these dark times?
French dilemma, at least. I really don't know. I'm definitely struggling with this, but I do want to say that just by writing in and giving us that perspective from a person who lives in that city is very helpful. That is a voice that with perspective that I haven't heard a lot from.
So that's nice for me to have and something that I'm glad that you could provide for us. Yeah, it is really difficult right now and I don't have any solutions. I don't know how to change our political life in the United States except by voting. So I would really strongly encourage if you are 17 and a half and you are going to turn 18 before November, if you're 23 and you've never voted because you don't think it's important, it is important, it does matter.
It matters ultimately more than all the billionaires spending all of the money trying to push policy this way or that. That you can't let those people decide who gets to determine the future of our country. So please vote. The argument that I see on the other side of this hand, and I have tried to pay attention to that argument, is that we can't be a nation without borders and that somehow people on the left want us to be a nation without borders.
I think that's just completely untrue. I think that is a straw man argument. I haven't heard anybody say that we shouldn't have borders. There is a difference between having borders and separating families at those borders.
There is a difference between having borders and denying people their international right to claim asylum and the people who come to this country, whether they are citizens or not, whether they are document immigrants or not, they deserve due process under the law that is guaranteed them in the Constitution. And to me, this is not a left-right issue and I think it's really important if we can to stand up as a country and say this is not a left-right issue and refuse to accept it. I don't know what else we can do other than that. I am also frustrated and scared and overwhelmed and I am so, so sorry to the people that this directly affects because I know that I'm not one of those people.
But I'm only not one of those people because I won a birth lottery. And I came in to the days before VidCon, this was all sort of happening. And as we arrived at VidCon, you were like, well, Trump signed an executive order that's going to do something, I guess. And it just makes it like, it's sort of these additional complexities that it's like, well, what does this mean?
Are those things going to be reunited? Have they been? What's the process through which that happens? Suddenly, it becomes like, you just add these little complexities until people stop paying attention.
And I feel like that's done over and over again and it's intentional to try and make people feel like, well, I guess I'm not sure. I guess I'm not sure what the situation is. Because I'm not sure who's in the right here. Right.
Same thing as when it comes to gun control legislation, things are brought up and nuances are explored. And then I do think there has been some change in the US's policy toward people coming to the United States. But there are too many families that have not been reunited and it is completely unaccepted. Yeah.
And so is the amount of just not telling the truth. It is so difficult. It's so difficult to have conversations with people who won't engage with reality. I just don't, I don't know what to do with this.
Yeah, like, I mean, you see the president over and over again saying that crime in Germany is going up and it isn't. That is a lie. Crime in Germany is going down. By the way, crime in the United States is also going down.
So I would think that the president would want to take credit for that. But I think what the president really wants to do is make people feel afraid. And the truth that crime in the United States is declining as it has been for 40 years is not something that will make people afraid. And so it doesn't get any, doesn't get any emphasis.
I got one that's a little bit more light. It's from Abby who asks, Dear Hank and John, after being a traditional academic overachiever for the last 22 years, I finally graduated college next year. I'm starting law school because apparently I haven't had enough school in my life yet. But for the summer, I got my dream summer job selling popsicles for King of Pops.
It's the best. I get to hang out outside and bring people to summer joy of tasty popsicles and hang out with awesome co-workers. But all my friends and family act as though my summer job is a waste of time or unimportant in the scheme of my academic career. My grandma even went so far as to ask how I possibly occupying my time.
The thing is, I know that getting this job was the right thing for me this summer and I'm having an awesome time. What is your dubious advice for dealing with people who think that you're wasting your time just because you aren't doing something traditionally thought of as successful? Spaghetti squash and seagulls, Abby. I would anytime somebody says that to you, I would hand them a popsicle and say, gawf.
I love this so much, Abby. You're my favorite. I just think it's so wonderful. Carry around a cooler at all times and anybody anytime somebody's like, well, I can't believe your job the summer before you go to law school is selling popsicles and you just hand them a popsicle and you say, f*** you.
No, obviously you say, suck on this. No, that's way better. That's so much better and it doesn't have to get bleeped. It doesn't have to get bleeped.
But yeah, it's, I mean, man, first of all, Abby, it's so important for us to have a variety of experiences in our life, not just the ones that, oh, god, that carry us, not just the shoot down which we are supposed to slide into success. Take a diversion, have a good time, and also have a job that isn't constant pressure, isn't working a lot. Being a lawyer is going to be hard and time, you're going to have to grind and work 80-hour weeks sometimes and it's going to be... I don't know what it's like to work for King of Pops.
Maybe it's 80-hour weeks. I don't know. You're right. Maybe it's very hard.
It seems that it's not. It seems that my guess is that legally, King of Pops does not want you to work into overtime hours. I'm trying to find out where King of Pops is open because I'm on their website right now and it may be the best designed. I don't want to go back to criticizing wedding websites, but Josh, before you start designing your wedding website, let me encourage you to check out KingofPops.com because this is a fantastic website and they got a Pops by Mail section and I've never even heard of this company.
But Abby, I'm not just buying some Pops, although I am. I'm buying a box of Pops. I'm also buying a King of Pops t-shirt because they're phenomenally good t-shirts. So this is so cute.
I love it. It's great. There's a happy counter at the top right where you can submit a happy moment that includes a pop story. Yeah.
This is good stuff. It's a 190 happy moment submitted. Where is King of Pops? I want to open a franchise.
Well, they're committed to staying in the south and their headquarters are in Atlanta. That's not great. I'm not. I'm very sorry.
Why are you saying in the south, King of Pops? Why not work with me? Work with me. Yeah, we want to open up a King of Pops joint in Mizzoule, Montana, which is the south of Montana for literally a month.
Yeah, but people, you know what, Hank P. Alaska has per capita the most ice cream consumption of any state in the union. Is that for real? No, I made it up.
All right. It could be true. Sounds like the kind of thing you made up. It could be true.
I'll tell you what, this King of Pops website is so good. I want to buy a King of Pops. This is it, Hank. We found our thing.
We're not going to be the people who bring back omeagles. We're going to be the people who bring King of Pops to Mizzoule. That's right. I want to own.
I'm going to buy a part of King of Pops. Is that an option? Who's available? Meet the team.
Yeah. Can I buy? How do I buy stock in this company? Let's go to meet the team.
Let's figure out. There's a lot. This is a big team. Stephen, are you the guy who sells me stock?
Yeah. Is Abby on the team page? I don't know. Let's get it.
Abby, maybe you should have a little Abby. Maybe you should have a little Abby. Maybe you should have a little Abby. I'm not sure you should go to law school.
I'm pretty sure that you should work for King of Pops for the rest of your life. Well, you could go to law school and then become like the King of Pops in-house council. In-house council. Great idea, Hank.
Somebody needs to do it. They're growing fast. They are. I mean, look at all these people who work at King of Pops.
I cannot wait for the King of Pops to open in Mizzoule. Hank, before we get to the onboard news from Mars and AFC Wimbledon, I want to read one response from Robin who wrote in to say, Hi, John and Hank, I was shocked when I heard your discussion of bread heels on the last episode of your podcast. Lots of people are upset with me about my bread heel position. I apologize.
The answer to this question is so incredibly obvious. You make the sandwich with the heel and put the crust on the inside, meaning that when you put the peanut butter on the bread, you put it on the crust part. Then you have the good bread part outside and basically you trick your brain into thinking that you're eating a normal sandwich. It's not stealing.
It's Robin. It's a great idea, Robin. That is a high quality idea. I think that would probably work.
What if you just made a sandwich with both the heels? So you took the both the heels, you made a sandwich with them, and then you just pretend like it's a cow zone. That's also a reason we get a idea. Hank, what is the news for Mars this week?
I know the news for Mars and I don't think it's great. It's not great. There is currently, as of this recording on Wednesday at noon, a planet wide dust storm. It is officially around the whole planet.
It's connected up on the other side. There are some places on the planet that aren't currently in the side of a dust storm, but most of the places on the planet are. That has included for the last two weeks the place where Opportunity Rover is. Opportunity landed on Mars in 2004, and it's been continuously operational since then, though it has had moments of outage, for example, during a dust storm in 2007.
That sort of shut it into low power mode for a period of time. Opportunity is powered by solar panels, so obviously anything that's blocking out the sun is bad news. And Opportunity also has to have part of its solar panels like Operation is not just a powered rover, but actually to power a heater that keeps the rover warmer than the surface of Mars so that all of its stuff works. So if Opportunity gets too cold, its batteries will not be able to recharge.
It will not turn back on. And that will be the end of the Opportunity Mission. To be clear, over 5,000 days on Mars is a lot more than we were expecting to get out of this thing anyway. So it's been a remarkable mission with a lot of scientific achievement.
And if this is how it goes out, then that is how it goes out. But there is hope still that it will make it through this dust storm. It's just been a very long storm, and Opportunity has been in like its sort of fault mode, where the only thing that the battery is powering is the internal clock, so that it doesn't lose mission time. Nothing else is on, so they're completely out of touch with Opportunity right now.
And it just comes to wait when this dust storm ends and then the storm will end, and then after a while the dust particles will follow the atmosphere. Those are two separate things. And then you might also have to wait for a clean wind to come and blow the dust off the solar panels before we know for sure whether Opportunity is going to come back and say hi again. Well, it will certainly be a sad day whenever that day comes, that we lose the Opportunity rover.
But it is an incredible story. I mean, it's incredible that it's been there for 15 years. It's just, it's phenomenal. So hopefully there's some joy in that, but it is a very sad day if this dust storm proves to be the end of our time with Opportunity.
Yes. And John, how is AFC one of the stuff? You got any new players? Got any big big infusions of cash?
We've not had a major infusion of cash. Certain American young adult novelists are increasing their sponsorship next season. That's a good piece of news. That seems to have been our primary infusion of cash so far that I can see anyway.
There has been quite a bit of news. The biggest news, the headline is that Lyle Taylor, the great Lyle Taylor, the Montserratty and Messi, the legend who scored in the League 2 playoff final to help send Wimbledon into League 1 who had so many important goals for his last season to keep us in League 1. He is moving on. He has signed for Charlton Athletic.
It's disappointing because Charlton are also a League 1 side. And I would have liked to see Lyle move on into the second tier of English football, if he was going to move on from Wimbledon. That's not how it happened. I mean, they certainly have a much higher budget than Wimbledon does.
I'm sure that, you know, and obviously, you know, you got to take care of yourself during the few years that you have as a professional footballer. He wrote a very nice letter on Instagram in which he said it's been the best three years of my career to date and talked about some of both the highs and lows and says it's been a real honor to play Wimbledon to wear the shirt and to help in this last chapter of this unique club story. And I wish everyone associated with the club the best for the future. Still a huge bummer.
There's no getting around it. I have to say though personally, I'm so grateful to Lyle Taylor. He's always kind to me, incredibly kind to Henry when we came and watched a game together. And it's just a wonderful person and obviously did so much for Wimbledon the last three seasons.
And I wish him all the best at Charlton. We have gotten some new players. We also should say that we lost Darius Charles as well. Great central defender moving on to Wickham, which is worrisome.
But we have just signed in the last few hours goalkeeper on loan from Millwall. We've had a lot of successful on loan signings from Millwall over the year. So I'm hopeful here. His name is Tom King.
And that's good. He has a good last name from the perspective of, you know, like he could be the king of Wimbledon's goal. That's promising. He wears number 13.
So he's not a person who's afraid of superstition. He's not a superstition man, which I think is a good sign. And he is a goalkeeper. Unfortunately, this likely means that we are not going to have George Long next season.
I assume we would not be signing Tom King if we were going to have George Long. So that's another way we're going to have to say goodbye to. But Hank, I have to get to two important signings that we have made or three important signings actually. Just in the last few days yesterday, we signed a new striker.
He's 30 years old. His name is James Hanson. And he has scored so many goals against AFC Wimbledon. Like every time he plays us, no matter who he's playing for, he scores.
So hopefully he's going to keep his good goal scoring form now that he's playing for us. He is a big guy. He's a target man. We haven't had one of those in a while.
So I'm excited that we've got one. I don't know what a target man is. You know, like usually Wimbledon, when they've been most successful, they've had a big person and a small person upfront. Like Lyle Taylor, Fast, Tom Elliott, huge, Ottawa, Lacan Fenwa, huge, Lyle Taylor, Fast, etc.
So I'm hopeful for James Hanson. And then we've also signed, I think almost just as important, we've got John Meade's under a new contract. He's been a left back. He can also play in midfield.
He's really good. I like him a lot. And I think he's a big part of the reason we stayed up last season. So I'm feeling good about that as well.
So on the whole, we've lost some players, we've gained some players. I mean, but the big story is Lyle Taylor. What a legend he's been for Wimbledon. And he will long be remembered in Wimbledon War.
John, before we get to our phrases of the week, did you do your phrase of the week? I did. Oh, shoot. That's terrible news.
There we have a product for awesome message from Heather Irfaf-Azum to Drena. Drena, you are legitimately one of the kindest people I've ever met. I mispronounced your name for a year because you didn't want to make me feel bad by telling me I was getting it wrong. You literally accepted a new name to Bean Dice.
I love you the same no matter what name I may still accidentally call you Drena. And I'm grateful for your unending patience. Oh, thank you for donating to the project for awesome and using it to spread love. That's great.
Indeed. Hey, oh gosh. Was your phrase of the week shirk? No.
That just popped out. Not sure where that came from. What was it? It was ultimate Frisbee extravaganza.
Wow. You really did a good job sneaking that in. I wouldn't have gotten that in a hundred years. You know what mine was?
Mine was really hard to guess. I have no idea. King of Pops. No, I wish.
It was Gryffindor. Just Gryffindor, the one word? It was the word Gryffind space door, but I decided to interpret it loosely. And so thank you to Phoebe for donating Gryffindor and Hank who donated your phrase of the week.
Thank you to Grace and Scott for donating my phrase of the week. And if you thanks to everybody who donated to the project for awesome this year, it meant so much to us and we're excited for next year's P4A. Hank, what did we learn today? I literally just learned that King of Pops was founded by two brothers.
Oh, wow. And I also learned that there is a planet-wide dust storm on Mars, which makes it seem like a great place to visit. I learned what a target man is. Let's do only things we learned in the last five minutes.
And lastly, I learned that the opportunity Rover has been on Mars for more than 5,000 days. Good job. We learned so many things, John. Thanks for hanging out and making a podcast with me.
And thanks to everybody for listening. If you want to email us, you can send your questions to Hank and John at gmail.com. Thank you to everybody who sends in questions, because what would we do without you, except go through all of our old podcast notes and pull out the ones that we didn't answer, and we would probably pull out the wrong ones, because I can't remember anything that happened more than five minutes ago. That didn't make any sense, but thanks for plotting with me.
This podcast is edited by Nicholas Jenkins. It's produced by Rosie-On-House and Sheridan Gibson. Our head of community and communications is victorious by the music that you are listening to right now, and at the beginning of the podcast is by the great Gunnarolo. We are now off to make our Patreon only podcast this weekend.
Ryan's is terrible. You should listen to it. Patreon.com slash Dear Hank and John, thank you again for listening, and as they stay in our hometown, don't forget to be awesome.