154. Why I Gave Myself Permission to Binge: Unshaming the Path to Eating Disorder Recovery

Come to my new class Devoted: a 75-minute transmission for women who want release their internal war and play life BIG with 2 feet in. It's going down on Wednesday July 9th at 4:30pm pst and is $25. You'll get the replay for life: ⁠https://calendly.com/nursenell/devoted..Book a connection call with me here. Let's dive into the landscape of your life: ⁠https://calendly.com/nursenell/coaching..I still have the journal.A fuzzy Tweety Bird journal from when I was 12 years old.Inside, past my scratchy handwriting about crushes and friend drama, were pictures I had carefully cut up with scissors.Pictures of myself.Where I had literally cut off parts of my body to make myself look thinner, then pasted them back together."This is what I want my body to look like," I had written underneath.When I found that journal years later, I felt this wave of sadness wash over me.Holy shit. From such an early age.What followed were decades of counting. Every calorie. Every pea on my plate. But here's what's wild - during that same period, I was also obsessively counting spare change I'd find on the ground, calculating exactly how many hours of sleep I was getting, documenting my mood every single day.The more out of control life felt, the more I counted and documented and controlled.No one ever asked me the questions I ended up asking myself about my "disordered" eating. ....questions that eventually freed me from the obsessive cycles. 𝐈𝐧 𝐦𝐲 𝐧𝐞𝐰 𝐩𝐨𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐬𝐭 𝐞𝐩𝐢𝐬𝐨𝐝𝐞, 𝐈 𝐬𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐞:✨ The connection between trauma, control, and eating disorders🌊 Why traditional approaches often miss the mark (and what actually works)🔓 The terrifying experiment that led to my food freedom 💡 Body neutrality vs body positivity - and why it matters This isn't your typical "recovery" story. This is about understanding that your patterns might be your nervous system's brilliant attempt to create safety in an unpredictable world.This is about what happens when we stop pathologizing and start LISTENING ~~This podcast shares personal experience and somatic perspectives. It's not medical advice, but an invitation to consider new ways of healing.~~⬇️🤍