Hey, so something worth knowing is a benefit for the nonprofit organization that makes Crash Course and SciShow Complexly. It's September 16th, 2026 in Los Angeles, California at the Wilshire Ebell Theater. Please join us. It's going to be incredible.
Friends have complexity like Mark Rober, Katie Max, Simone Yech, and Moore will share inspiring talks about what makes them hopeful and join Hank Green on stage for fun, interactive discussions. Complexly has been creating free educational content like SciShow and PBSEons and Crash Course and Bizarre Beasts for nearly 15 years and 6 billion views. But this year, we have become a 501c3 nonprofit and we're doing something worth knowing as an in-person event that benefits Complexly and our impactful educational media. It's the first ever Complexly in-person event and it's a fundraiser to support our mission of inspiring curiosity and lowering barriers to knowledge building because curiosity builds understanding and understanding builds a better world.
Tickets go on sale to the general public June 30th at somethingworthknowing.com. So come build a better world with us on September 16th and experience something worth knowing. You can get your ticket at Complexly.info slash something. Hello, it's a cold open this week because we have a bit of news.
The first bit of news is that Dear Hank and John, as well as the Anthropocene Reviewed and a new podcast called SciShow Tansions, are all going to be joining the WNYC family. Yeah, WNYC Studios is a, as you may have heard, an organization that makes and produces and works with lots of great podcasts and we are joining them. This podcast is, it will change basically nothing for you, just for clarity, and will make things easier for us and more stable for us and also potentially help us make better content and maybe even some other projects in the future. Yeah, we're huge fans and have been for a long time of WNYC.
They make podcasts like Radiolab and More Perfect and Nancy. In fact, I've known our producer at WNYC for more than 20 years, all of which means this is really exciting for us but should not affect your listening experience that much except insofar as the quality of the audio might improve slightly. Yeah, if you think that this is going to result in like a fundamentally better Dear Hank and John experience, I've got news for you. This is as good as it could possibly be.
No, yeah, we're going to. We've reached it. We're keeping the podcast crap. Don't worry about that.
But thank you to all of you who listen every week. It means the world to us. I also want to say that we're going on tour. Hank is going on a longer tour than I'm going on, but I will be with Hank when an absolutely remarkable thing comes out in New York on Tuesday, September 25th will be in Boston on Wednesday, September 26th.
John and I will also be in Canton, Ohio, Chicago, Illinois, Kansas City, Missouri and Indianapolis, Indiana. And then I'm moving on by myself and going to have some special guests in Milwaukee, Wisconsin, Denver, Los Angeles, San Diego, Santa Cruz and Bellingham, Washington. So if you're in or near any of those places, please come see me. And if you're in Missoula, Montana, I'll probably do a local event too, but it will be separate and not part of the store.
So we hope to see lots of you on tour now is the time to get tickets by the way because many of the shows are very close to selling out. I am so excited for Hank's book, an absolutely remarkable thing that comes out on September 25th. It is available for pre-order now. I can only say that for a few more days because soon it will just be available for order.
Anyway, let's roll the open. Hello and welcome to Dear Hank and John. Nor is I pretty thinking of your Johnny Hank. It's a comedy podcast where two brothers answer your questions give you the advice and meaning of all the weeks news from both Mars and AFC Wimbledon.
John. How do we start this podcast again? You tell a dad joke. We have never been so unprepared.
Sarah has been out of town for the last five days and I, my start, my circadian rhythms are completely off when Sarah is gone. Like I go to bed at two o'clock in the morning and then I have to wake up and take the kids to school and the kids are like, what's wrong with you dad? And I'm just like, I, I, I, I, thank Hank. Sorry.
What just happened? My, Sir Katie is also messed up. There buzz in all in my brain because I just got back from Australia. And so I spent the hours of 12 to three o'clock in the morning this, this last day awake.
Very hungry and eventually eating quite a lot of turkey cold cuts. But we start the podcast with a dad joke. Yeah. So John, what noise does a 747 make when it bounces?
What noise does a 747 make when it bounces? Boeing, Boeing. Oh God. Don't worry.
Don't worry. Next week's dad joke is even better than that one. I got a bunch of collected already. It's great.
I'm very excited about this new format. Oh my God. The Great Barrier Reef is showing signs of recovery in good news. That's wonderful.
I had heard that it was showing signs of the opposite of that. Well, don't worry. There has been massive coral bleaching in 2016 and 2017. However, due to a milder 2017, 2018 summer, you'll recall that down in Australia, summer, it goes, right, as well as a lot of cooperation among lots of different groups.
There has been some recovery in the Great Barrier Reef. Now, the long term worry is still that these, you know, mild summers may not be a permanent phenomenon. So it's good news. But if we don't stop, stop, no, that was just good news, John.
Don't, it's all the warming me. Okay, it's good news. It's good news. Hey, let's move on to some questions for our listeners.
The worst, the worst job we've ever done. I mean, we have an episode called the worst episode ever, but we might have to update it. No, I know that we had, yeah, well, the good news is that we can always do worse. All right, Hank, we're gonna answer some questions from our listeners, and we're gonna do a good job of it because I just gave you a pep talk that I think Nick bought out of the podcast, but it has a curse words that it was a profanity laden halftime team talk where I was like, Hank, we've got to get into the podcast right now.
This question comes from Mary Kate who asked your John and Hank, I own a tank top that simply says Tuesday on it in big block letters. I've owned it for a while now, but I don't wear it very often because I only feel it's appropriate to wear on Tuesdays. However, I really like the color and comfort of this tank top. Should I wear the tank top on days other than Tuesday?
Or will that just confuse people? Do these advice appreciated? Ashley, sister, Mary Kate. Oh my God, it's for Mary Kate Olson.
Mary Kate Wilson wrote into the pod to ask us a fashion question. That is a surprise. That is a surprise. So I mean, maybe you should approach this as if you are actually Mary Kate Olson, which I'm not saying you aren't.
Right. But say like, look, I am just a tremendously successful actress and business person. And I have done things that no one else has done before. And I was in that very good music video about pizza.
And I can do whatever I want. I am Mary Kate Olson. I just punched my microphone a little bit. Yeah, I can feel the passion.
Yeah, you just got to ask yourself, Mary Kate, W, W, M, K, O, D. Yeah. What would Mary Kate Olson do in the situation? The answer is that she would wear that tank top.
Yeah. Almost. She'd probably wear it once because she has a lot of outfits. She'd set that trend, man.
You got it. What you got to do is get one for every day of the week, but then never wear them on the right day. Right. Yeah.
No, that's what my son does with his day of the week underwear. It's a power move. Everybody will respect you because they'll be like, I'm just very confused with Mary Kate is around. Yeah.
You know, you don't know fascinating fact about Mary Kate Olson. Hank, sure. I mean, always. Mary Kate Olson is 32 years old.
Oh, wow. Do you know how old Ashley Olson is? It's a good joke, John. You really sold that one.
Let's move on to the next question. There's a bunch of people out there, by the way, who have no idea who Mary Kate and Ashley Olson are. Do not know that they are twins. Did not get that joke until I just explained that they are twins.
Now, you know, for context, the reason it's so alarming to Hank and me that Mary Kate and Ashley Olson are 32 years old is that we don't need to continue explaining this joke. Look it up. If you're confused, look it up. Hank jokes get funnier when you explain them more.
Everyone knows that. That's one of the next question comes from Ward. It's going to shut you up. My mom just started a choir with her colleagues from work and they are terrible.
They practice at home and it's hard to avoid the noise. This on its own isn't a problem. I'm glad that you think so, Ward. You can always put the podcast in.
But Ward says, I sing in a pretty good choir myself. So my mom sees me as the authority on choir music and asks for my advice or to listen for mistakes. If I would be honest, I would say the whole thing is a mistake. But they're clearly having fun and I don't want to ruin it for them.
How do I give advice that doesn't hurt feelings but is still somewhat helpful? Ward and of the North. Hank, before I answer this question, can I just note that maybe we've been doing such a terrible job of the pod so far because we're trying to reassure people that the fact that we're now a fancy WNYC podcast does not mean that we're going to be good. So we're partnering with WNYC and we want to give you a really subpar product right now so you don't think anything's changing.
Ward, you have to tell your mother, I'm glad you're having fun. It sounds like you're having fun and things that are technically true while also not being cruel. And if she asks you how is the quality of our singing, you can say like, I mean, I don't think that you're a professional choir but I don't think you're trying to be. You're having fun.
Ward, maybe you should go to, I don't know, someone who is more expert than us, like your choir director who is the person that you I assume know and then lay out the sitch and say like, you know, that person is probably aware of how to deal with singers at all levels and maybe there is some insight you can get from there but I think John's right. Like ultimately things like this don't have to be about perfection. They can be about fun and so keep that in mind and be supportive of the fun that the people in your lives want to have. Hank, I think it's terrible advice to go to your choir director or to go to anyone with more expertise than we have because all that does is undercut our brand as providing high quality advice on a variety of topics that we have no expertise in.
Yeah, because I really can't tell you how to direct a choir award. Well, you also can't tell Mary Kate Olson how to wear a tank top but that's not so down. I can totally do that because I have worn tank tops, John. I've done that.
I've never directed a choir. I would submit that you are not an expert in wearing tank tops based on every single time I have ever seen you wear a tank top. When was the last time you saw me wear a tank top? It's been a long time but it is seared in my memory because you do not look, I say this with a lot of respect and admiration for you as a person but you cannot pull off a tank top.
I think that most of the time when I put on tank tops they look good if I'm also wearing a shirt underneath. Is that right? No. Mary Kate, whatever Hank said about when to wear your Tuesday tank top, you need to do the opposite.
I don't know. It just kind of like tugs the shirt onto you more firmly and then you've got sort of a real good situation on the top half. Yeah, you wear an undershirt over your regular shirt. That's why they call it an over shirt.
That's doing that every day of tour now. It's my new thing. Somebody said please don't do that. It's how it is to be like hello, my name is Hank, I'm a very serious author man.
You can tell because it's like how Neil Gaiman like started wearing leather all the time and they were like, oh Neil Gaiman is like the cool leather guy. He's like an author and he writes really good books but also he's like cool looking and maybe a little bit like I'm a little afraid because he's like I don't know there's some kind of like dark vibe going on there but I'm going to be the guy in like the tank top over the t-shirt and people are going to think something about that. Yeah, they'll think something about it. And that's all that matters, John, that people are thinking something about me.
It's the only commodity we have left. That is genuinely what an absolutely remarkable thing is about. So I guess it would be on brand. This next question comes from Kelly who writes, you're John and Hank, what is the worst snack you've ever had?
I ask because the world needs more cautionary tales on bad snacks. On a road trip, I once had a bag of fish jerky and washed it down with Stevie a sweet and root beer. Hey, don't say anything bad about Stevie a sweet and root beer, Kelly. Come on.
Fish jerky is not a thing, is it? That's the worst thing I've ever heard. You know what I've always thought about fish is can we can we contract the flavor part? I want more of the flavor part.
No. Oh my god. No, the worst snack that I've ever had by a very wide margin. When Sarah and I started dating, she was working at an art gallery and I went to all of the art galleries shows because I wanted her to like me.
And one of them was a performance piece. I don't like I like performance art like the idea of it. I don't like experiencing performance art because a lot of times the artist interacts with the audience, which is the thing that makes me most uncomfortable in the entire world. So it's like being at a play where you are told five seconds before the play starts that you are in fact an actor in the play.
And there was this artist and he was interacting with the audience and he was sort of like weaving around them and he would get his face really up close to your face. And I would you'd have to like not scrunch your face in fear because you wanted to look like you were cool and a regular person and not the kind of person who freaks out when people are in your personal space. And then he handed me a piece of candy. And I was like, huh, yeah, okay.
And everyone else was unwrapping their candy. So I was like, fine, okay, I'll unwrap my candy and everyone else put in their mouths. And I was like, oh god, I got to put this strange man's candy in my mouth. And I put it in my mouth and it was crab flavored.
Oh man, that got I thought it was just going to be regular candy and it was the word of snack because the strange man put it in your mouth. But it was crab candy too. It was crab candy. It was crab candy.
And I mean, I had to sit there and suck on this crab candy for like 12 minutes because I didn't want to be rude and spit it out. Oh, that's the societal pressure is amazing, John. It will it will make you do anything. There's so many things that we will do because it just seems like it's what's expected of us.
And this is the most extreme example I've ever heard of that. Afterwards, the artist was completely normal. And he was just like hanging out having a glass of wine with me and he was like, what'd you think of the candy? And I was like, uh, yeah, no, I mean, yeah, it was good.
Sure. You didn't say it was bad? No, just as I told Ward not to tell his mom that her choir is bad. But the guy didn't make the candy.
What's the worst snack you ever had? What's the worst snack I ever had? I don't know. So in these like brief moments before I'm officially sponsored by Metamucil.
Before I signed the contract, they make these little Metamucil wafers that are supposed to be cookies. Yeah. So huge lie. People in my office eat them because Metamucil sent a bunch of them.
You are very hungry. They are food. Right. But I find them to be much less enjoyable than just the normal Metamucil powder because you just like the whole experience stays in your mouth for a much longer time.
And you have to be careful. If you put the whole thing in there at once, it expands, man. That's the whole point of of silly musk is that it gets bigger and it absorbs a lot of water. And then suddenly you're like, I can't.
My mouth is now all this and nothing. Have you put two of those things in your mouth? You might not live. There's a warning on the box.
I'm not even kidding. I can't wait till you are in an actual television commercial for this actual product. And you're like, Metamucil wafers, they're delicious. Don't eat two.
Oh man. This is the worst snack I've ever had though. John, you also left the last half of this question. First of all, I looked up Fish Jerky.
It's totally a thing and it actually looks pretty good. I saw some. I was like, that's not doesn't look bad. And it was $25 and you get free shipping if you pay that much.
You better. But I do also have to bring up that the situation was made even less palatable for Kelly by the 100 plus coyote scouts baking in the trunk of their car, which they were transporting for thesis research. And also the name specific sign off is Cheers Smelly Kelly. I just didn't want to like leave that not in everybody's brains because I'm happy that it was in mind.
I just think that people do such important work, John. And sometimes it means transporting a lot. A lot of coyote poop. Can you imagine like how unexpected a turn of events it must be for one of those mice that got eaten by that coyote that then got pooped out that then ended up in Kelly's trunk?
What? Yeah, and then at a laboratory somewhere. But the good news is that the mouse does not know about this. Well, we don't know that for sure.
Just like watching from us Evan being like, what are you doing now? What in our life I'm having. This is the indignity. All right.
Take me to my people's burial grounds. Oh man. Imagine like a spirit world where mice cannot rest until until they've been taken to the right place, you know, the depth of the disrespect. I can't tell if this is offensive to religious people even though I am a religious person.
So all right. This next question comes from Emily who writes New John and Hank, I've been in a relationship with someone for almost 10 months now. Thank you. Remember when you counted your relationship by months?
Literally no. No, I do not. I remember like celebrating my six month anniversary with Sarah, which now does seem a little ludicrous. But that's great.
You should count by months. I was counted by months. We're in like month 190. It is currently going really well.
And I've hopes it may continue for a very long time together. We are going to a common friends wedding in a month. Should I join the rest of the ladies to try to catch the bouquet? My partner and I are nowhere near talking about marriage and the risk of actually catching it is stressful.
On the other hand, I want to participate in the celebration traditions. Advice, especially dubious advice is appreciated. Pumpkins and penguins Emily. John, I've witnessed it a lot, a lot like a surprising number of bouquet tosses in my time.
And I can tell you something about every single one of them. The person who catches that bouquet wanted to catch it. 100%. Nobody ever catches it by accident.
Yeah. There's been fights. And if it comes down to it, just give it a tip and be like, oh, I didn't get it. You're not going into somebody else's hand.
Yeah, Emily, you just line up to be part of the bouquet catching and then you don't catch the bouquet. I have to say of the wedding traditions, this is the one that I find the weirdest and at our own wedding, Sarah was like, I really don't want to do this. And there were other forces in the wedding that were like, you're going to do it. So she did.
Yeah. But it's a weird tradition. I don't dislike this one, John. I've seen one, I have a lot of weddings, where the groom has to put a garter belt onto the bride in front of everyone.
Oh, yeah. This is much worse to me. And every inch above the knee is a decade of happy marriage or something. And I'm just like, no, no, there are children here.
I'm very uncomfortable. I feel like that one's mostly going away. Let me propose to you a potential situation though, in which Emily is not the only one who feels this way and is in fact that all of the people feel this way. And thus the bouquet just like falls like a nice little arc and then just like, whoo, and everybody sort of like jumping up and down.
And then it just falls straight to the ground in a circle of people being like, I didn't want it. Nobody wanted it. And that's okay. Let me propose that that would be a sort of remarkable and exciting thing to have happen.
Not like embarrassing. It would be very funny. And I think that that's fine. Yeah.
I mean, let's reach for that outcome. Nobody gets the bouquet. Everybody dies alone. Or our fate is not decided by a bunch of flowers.
And in fact, you can have a completely fulfilling life without romance in your life. So yeah, lots of reasons to not catch the bouquet unless you want to catch it, then do. I'm not here to judge your bouquet strategy. I just think you can line up and choose whether to catch it when the moment comes.
This next question comes from Ken who asks, Dear Hank and John, can I take apples off the ground? There's a house across the street from me that has an apple tree and there are so many apples that just fall off and sit there. Are they mine now? I think that the tree grows more apples than a person could possibly eat.
But I don't know how many people live at that house. Maybe there's like an army in there packed in like a clown car. Apples and art parks can. I'm glad you were exploring all the options, Ken.
The thing is, Ken, if there is an army inside of this house, yeah, I'd be concerned. You would think that they would be eating the apples. Right. Well, I would think that I am worried that this person is hoarding an army.
And so I wanted to pry them of resources. Great point, Hank. We need to make sure that there are no well organized private militias in the United States trying to take over our apple orchards and possibly the rest of our country. That's right.
That's right. And why else would you need them any apples? I mean, give me a reason. Justify yourself, apple tree honer.
Apple farming, apple cider making. We're just with apple tree. Got bigger than they expected. I mean, isn't it possible that this person just runs an extremely small apple farm and that Ken is essentially trying to steal their livelihood from them?
They're on the ground. Once they're on the ground, they're questionable as to whether Ken should eat them for health reasons. Oh, I'm not worried about that at all. But I don't know.
I was thinking about this question because I was thinking, now if somebody were in my garden and a tomato were on the ground and they picked that tomato, I would be mad because I not because they picked the tomato, but because why are you in my garden, Ken? Yeah, but if it falls on the other side of the fence, that's fair game. There is a lot of fun around in my town right now. And frankly, the town doesn't even let you plant fruit trees in the boulevards anymore because no one picks the fruit and it just sits there and gets stinky and then the squirrels eat it and they get drunk and then they are crazy squirrels.
And wait, what? Well, the fruit ferments on the ground and the squirrels eat it and they get drunk. Shut up. Squirrels do not get drunk off of ground fruit.
They do and it happens to bats too. Bats can get drunk? No. No.
No. Definitely a thing. Drunk fruit squirrels. It happened on naked and afraid to where this guy was really hungry and he needed to eat food.
And so he ate some rotten food and he got really drunk. Or he had eaten them like two days. So he didn't get that drunk. He didn't.
But he didn't need a lot of alcohol in that fruit to make him get a little tipsy. And to be clear, I only know this because I was told this by a hand of heart I do not watch naked and afraid. Yeah, that seems like something that somebody who watches naked and afraid would say. I put naked and afraid in turtles all the way down and so I felt like I had to watch an episode of it.
Yeah. And I watched it after I wrote the scene, you know, as you do. And I watched the show and I was like, yeah, no, it's pretty much what I expected. I mean, they really do cover it in the title.
Yeah, it's just some naked people who are pretty afraid. Yeah. Imagine it just pause the Apple question just for a second. So that we can imagine together the pitch meeting at which naked and afraid was created.
So you walk into the Discovery Channel and you're like, yeah, we got a few shows we want to pitch you. One is about alligator hunters in New Orleans. It's called Alligator Town. And they're like, ah, alligator time.
It sounds good. It's not great. And they're like, OK, our other show is called Naked and Afraid. The Discovery Channel people are just like, here is a pile of money.
Yeah. You know what we need to do with that? The big and afraid is get some people to sign some disclaimers and put them in situations where they might die. I don't know what the law is here going back to the apples, but I do think that somebody's got to eat them.
And if it's not you, it's going to be drunk squirrels. I'm not super worried about the public health problem of drunk squirrels. I'm a little worried about Ken trespassing onto someone else's land to eat someone else's apples, especially if there's an army in there. Like that's not fair.
Yeah, I would I would knock on the door and say, hey, can I pick some of your apples or eat some of your ground apples? Yeah. So the squirrels don't get drunk or alternately, just, you know, let it go. Which reminds me, John, this podcast is brought to you by Naked and Afraid naked and Afraid.
This week on Discovery, man and a woman are uncomfortable in the woods. They get bit by bugs a bunch. Don't you want to watch those bug bites? Today's podcast also brought to you by Crab Candy.
Crab Candy just just don't. That's not a good snacks podcast. It's also brought to you Tuesday Tank Tops. Tuesday is a brand name of new tank tops that is available from Hank and John Green.
You can get them at the space store. It's an outer space. You have to get to space. That's why Elon Musk is working so hard because he wants to get one of those tank tops.
Today's podcast also brought to you by Elon Musk. You can get a Tesla Model 3 and a space. For only $62,000. Yeah, it's $35,000 car.
That cost $62,000. It's the deal of essentially. And finally, this podcast is brought to you by the Mouseberry L grounds where the mouse goes to be respected after death. I like it here, including that.
Which forces Nick to put into the pod. You can't take it out now. This podcast is also brought to you by the Green Brothers neckwash. This is not a joke we've made yet.
This episode of your Hank and John is brought to you by Shompify. There are a lot of things that stand between I have an idea and this is an idea that actually exists in the world and people are buying things from me. And that is what Shompify makes easier. When you start with Shompify, the tools to design and launch and take payments, they're all there from day one.
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Start your free trial at Shompify.com slash deerhank. With new subscription only, while supplies last until September 27th, 2026. See website for more details. This episode of Deerhank is brought to you by Factor.
Imagine for a moment that you are absolutely immersed in some work where you're creating something beautiful or useful or useless and ugly but you love it anyway and you look up and suddenly you have a feeling and that feeling is that it is 2.30 pm and you did not eat lunch. What are you going to do? Are you going to get meal delivery that's going to cost too much and maybe be a bit of a mistake or are you going to go to the cupboard and just eat several fistfuls of peanuts. Those are my two choices unless I have a factor in the fridge.
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What about garlic herb roasted verumun tea with potato zucchini and burr blanc sauce. I don't really know what that means but it sounds delicious. What about a black bean taco bowl with corn salsa and cilantro crema. A delicious high fiber high protein meal that no animals had to die for.
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See website for more details. This question, this next question comes from Danny. Oh you're doing it right now. Oh great.
Okay. That's Deerhank and John. The other day I was washing my face in the shower and I started to wonder do you use a face wash on your neck or body wash on your neck? The neck is obviously not part of your face but the skin seems too sensitive for body wash.
Help, I'm conflicted. Not Disney but Danny. I love my heart. Parlister of bad jokes.
So bad. I'm not sure that Hank Boeing Green is in a position to criticize other people's jokes. Hey, I'm gonna do a Twitter poll with the podcast comes out and I'm gonna find out what people think about that joke, John. I bet people are gonna love it.
Yeah, yeah, no, I bet. Danny, your neck is, I'm gonna be honest with you, Danny. I just use soap on my neck up to what I call the beard line just above my Adam's apple and then from there up I do use face wash. So I don't know if that's the right way but that's my way.
I think that there is a point there. I get sort of like dry itchy feeling on my neck and back and like hey, you can do you do whatever you want but I do think that like maybe there's a maybe there's a segment of the body that doesn't have a wash yet but the question is will we eventually just need a rack in our showers that's like okay well it's time for the face that it's time for the neck then I've got my special peck wash and then this is for just for my armpits. Like do we need this? Is this where we're headed as a society?
No, no but I think that's a great example of how like slippery slope arguments work on Twitter. Yeah, someone's like hey should I use face wash below my chin and then someone else is like oh now everything's falling apart. So don't have to go watch. Great.
I mean yeah fine let's just have let's just have footwash and ankle wash and calf wash and why are is this even America? Exactly right John. That is not what I intended to illustrate but I did illustrate it through my own worrying about whether or not we were gonna have washes for everything. All right Hank before we get to the all important news from Mars and AFC Wimbledon this is the last question comes from Ashley who writes Dear John and Hank I was just shopping at Marshall's and while there I acquired an aloe vera plant.
I didn't buy it though. I had an intention of buying it. I even thought I bought it. I got several other things that I did pay for and I guess the check out quirk just missed ringing the plant up.
What should I do? Did I technically steal the plant? Should I try to go back and pay for it or should I just think of it as a gift from the universe? Let's not.
That's not how to get from the universe. It's if anything it's a gift from Marshall's. Because it was $4.99 if that changes anything. It doesn't.
It doesn't. Oh it does. It absolutely changes something because the thought of driving back to Marshall's which is going to cost like $3 in gas and add to the world's carbon emissions in order to pay for a $4.99 aloe vera plant is ludicrous. I mean but you but you didn't pay for it though.
Okay you didn't pay for it Hank but it was put in your cart and you intended to pay for it and that's just the way that it went this time and other times it will go a different way and that stuff evens out over a lifetime and furthermore let me submit that in a capitalist society the big corporations do a good enough job extracting stuff out of you if occasionally you get a bonus for all of that then take your aloe vera plant and run because god knows it isn't going to happen very often. I'm going to say that next time you should take the receipt off the plant next time you're at Marshall's you should buy it. You should buy the plant. I mean I'd love to hear from Marshall's on this issue because I think they'd probably be like uh yeah whatever Ashley I mean as long as you're happy and you want to come back to Marshall's at some point we're good.
They bet you're right. I don't know. I have I have definitely done this before where I got a free thing from the grocery store I went back and was like I got this thing for free can I pay for it now. I'm actually going to tweet at Marshall's.
Hey so theoretically if I accidentally stole a plant from you. No I'm not writing that that doesn't make any sense. I'm writing hey Marshall's uh how do you feel about this whole Ashley thing question mark. Okay and then they'll have to do the research themselves.
They'll figure it out Hank they're Marshall's. For god's sake man they're the seventh largest company in America. All right well before we get to the all important news from Mars and AFC world and I have an update on the Twitter poll from the last episode where we were talking about doing laundry for someone else. I asked Twitter I said hey if you're doing laundry for someone else the change and their pants pockets be either still belongs to them or belongs to you now and most people said that the money now belongs to you.
I was right people agree with you. I was right you were wrong and Marshall's is very confused about my question about Ashley. Hank yeah what is the news from Mars this week. It's bleak John.
Oh no. As you all of course know the opportunity rover launched in 2003 it's been on Mars since 2004 so it's 14 years on Mars has been extremely long and successful missions very exciting and very good but they have not as sunlight has started to come back through this dust storm that has been covering up opportunity preventing it from getting power through its solar panels. It is not powered back up it is not called home and we've even sent it some little beeps to be like hey can you send us a beep and it hasn't beeped back at us and it's it's worrying and NASA does eventually have to make a call it's a hard call to make because this is a long mission and it's been it's done so such amazing things and done a lot of amazing science over the years but the the deadline is that after the like there's sort of an arbitrary of like sunlight going through the atmosphere it's 1.5 tau I don't know what that unit is but when that's reached they'll then have 45 days after that so once the rover is getting a certain amount of light they get 45 days and if the rover doesn't call home before then the team will sort of basically disband a little bit people will get moved to other positions and they will continue listening passively so they won't be like active listening they'll listen passively for I think until January or something but at that point it's very unlike it'll hear anything and then the rover that team will not be working on opportunity anymore because they will basically have said that opportunity is not an active mission and everyone's pretty sure that they won't be hearing back the good news is that Curiosity still has a lot of mission life and also is a more robust science experiment and has a lot of science and is has done and will continue to do lots of science so we do still have an active rover on Mars that is a bigger better mission and our planning another one in 2020 that is very similar to Curiosity so that's happening in Curiosity just sent back a really beautiful selfie that it took as the dust storm was dissipating which is really cool and it's not powered by solar panels it's powered by a radioactive decay and the heat caused by it so you can't slow this boy down he's good well I'm still very sad to hear that news because it it has been such an incredible run and it's such a great story and but I guess that everything has to end speaking of endings oh god AFC Wimbledon's losing streak needs to end and soon AFC Wimbledon did you win a game or something AFC Wimbledon got four points from their first two games a win and a draw and one point from their most recent four games in league one it's a very worrisome situation in several of those games we played brilliantly but just didn't get a result and then after trying that several times we thought we would try a whole new strategy against Burton which was to play terribly and it turned out that also didn't work we lost that game three nil and deserved to lose it three nil and so now AFC Wimbledon are in 20th place in league one just one point away from the relegation places back back at that end of the table I do not enjoy visiting huh so we're playing jilling ham over the weekend which should be an interesting game partly because nobody knows for sure if jilling ham is pronounced with a soft G or a hard G and partly because who's plays for jilling ham now but former Wimbledon captain berry fuller whom I personally miss desperately and it'll be nice to see him even if he is lining up as an opponent against AFC Wimbledon it'll be a nice kind of homecoming hopefully we can get a result from that game because I am starting to get officially nervous yeah I was on the internet and it said that you won a game in penalties was that something else oh yeah yeah that's one of the other competitions oh okay so that doesn't count for points no not in the league one season it's a nice thing to have happened in the football league trophy we played charlton we scored two good goals and from two players who don't usually start for Wimbledon we also played a pretty good game against west ham at the premier league opposition with some players who don't usually start for Wimbledon which is starting to make me think that maybe those players should start for Wimbledon like some of the younger players some of the academy prospects are looking pretty good at least in those games but it's hard to know but yeah we won that game on penalties four to two and that means that we might get out of the football league trophy group stage but my main concern at this point is ensuring another season in league one since next season is hopefully when we'll be moving into the new stadium well uh best of luck I want sports to be good for john and other fans thanks I feel the same way about rovers on mars hank thank you for potting with me it has been a pleasure as always and thanks to everybody for listening we're off to record our patron only podcast this weekend ryan's which you can get at patreon.com slash deer hank and john but don't worry if you can't it's not that good the podcast is edited by nicholas jakins who this week had an even harder job than usual so thank you nik our head of community and communications is victoria bongerne the podcast is produced by rosianna holls roas and sharid gibson the music that you're hearing right now is from the great gunerola and as they say in our hometown don't forget the awesome