168 - Tips for influencing others - See one, do one, teach one

I am looking far and wide for how influence happens, and it’s an elusive topic. I returned to one of my favorite books ‘how to win friends and influence people by Dale Carnegie. I could not quickly find a definition for ‘Influence’ or how it happens.  He does provide a LOT of stories of how to win people towards your way of thinking (which maybe is influence?). I’ve found those strategies a little difficult to apply to coaching high schoolers, because they’ll work in 1 drill or in 1 practice maybe, but to get a long-term carry over of ‘influencing a player to work their hardest’ or ‘influencing our kids to make good decisions’, or ‘Influencing our spouses or kids to clean up after themselves consistently’ I’m still searching for that long-term solution.   https://www.betterup.com/blog/the-secret-behind-how-to-influence-people This is a great article on how influence happens. You guys know me by now, I’m a science and studies and ‘give me the facts and figures’ person.  I’m still looking for journal articles on the psychology of influence and how it happens. But this article gives a great overview and starting point (he references 5 books at the end, which I just ordered 3 of) Lois Melkonian was a news anchor and now writes for Betterup.com. Her main points in the article are are influence happens because  1)intention 2) connection 3)resilient  4) life-long learner  And how to get better at influence others includes 7 tips like  listening, acting with integrity, doing what you say you will do , give others a voice, take care of yourself, stay competent, stay focused, be engaged with others , while being genuine   further reading:  How to Win Friends and Influence People, Dale Carnegie The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, Stephen R. Covey Becoming a Person of Influence, John C. Maxwell Conscious Business, by Fred Kofman Influence, The Psychology of Persuasion, by Robert Cialdini