171: The #1 Trait of the Best Coaches

This episode is inspired by children who are born with a sense of wonder for the world and all the beings in it. Find the full transcript at prosperouscoach.com/171.Recently, I asked the members of my Facebook Group called Prosperous Coach Club what topics they would like a podcast episode about. One person said: “How to be curious. Is it something that can be learned and trained and if yes, how?”What a wonderful question! Thanks for asking for that O.G. This is for you.And, by the way, if there’s a topic that YOU want me to coach about, let me know through my website.First, I want to say that curiosity is an innate skill. It’s a survival strategy as well as a way to be delighted by the world. It’s a love of learning.And as we get older, we tend to close off curiosity because we’re encouraged to KNOW.Have you ever watched a person you admire admit they don’t know something? How did it make you feel? For me, there’s this sense of wisdom that the person knows what they don’t know and are willing to admit it.Curiosity is a muscle that goes slack if you don’t use it for a while but it doesn’t take long to grow strength there again. Like so much, it's a matter of raising awareness until it becomes habitual. Coaching clients is a great way to build that muscle.Being Curious is Good for CoachesWhen a client comes to a session with their agenda, what’s the best way to serve them? ·      Should you imagine the conversation before hand and plan your approach?·      Should you take on their emotions and problems as your own?·      Should you step into performance mode and be the one with the answers?When I say it like that, it’s obviously a ‘no’, right? But when you’re new to being a coach what are you feeling before a session? Performance anxiety. You feel you should know … everything. It’s understandable and it’s counter to what’s really needed for an effective session. Shifting from performance mode into curiosity relieves the pressure. It opens the field to sensations — your own and your clients — and intuition kicks in.Masterful coaches aim to stay present, open minded and curious. In fact, if you’re in a curious state you are simultaneously present, in the present moment and open-minded. How beautiful is that? Curiosity is an indication of genius. It awakens the observer self. The mind stays active instead of passive. It takes a flexible mind to come back again and again to curiosity. Yet, isn’t it interesting that children are the most curious among us? What does that tell you about the urgent need to know all?Being Curious is Good for Coaching ClientsIt’s taken me a long time to learn to be curious in coaching session. Sure, I learned that open-ended questions are the best tool for coaches next to listening. But I didn’t stop to think … what comes before the powerful questions inside of me?I’ve since learned that the beginning of excellent coaching starts with knowing what is motivating me and making a quick adjustment in the moment if necessary.Go here for more of the transcript about why your curiosity is good for your clients.