#187 What if we focused less on self-care and more on self-nurture to progress our hoarding recovery?

Come to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom Session: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ticket Subscribe to the podcast: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/subscribe Podcast show notes, links and transcript: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/  Self-care gets a lot of airtime these days, but I’ve started rethinking what it actually means, especially when you’re struggling with hoarding disorder. In this episode, I talk about why marketed, consumer-driven “self-care” just adds more pressure, and why nurturing yourself with compassion, connection, and practical routines is far more effective. Plus, I share some genuinely helpful, low-cost ways to support yourself without adding to the clutter - or your to-do list. Self-Care in Modern Times Evolution of the meaning of “self-care”: The older, practical definition (basic hygiene, nourishment) Current consumer-driven, extravagant interpretations Critique of modern self-care commercialisation Challenges of Hoarding and Mental Health Struggles Emotional toll of hoarding disorder Stress, anxiety, depression, trauma, grief The exhausting process of trying to “fix” things Daily stressors of living in a hoard Feelings of failure, constant reminders, adrenaline spikes from unexpected visitors, tripping over items The Real Purpose of Self-Care Balancing negative emotions (stress, grief, trauma) with activities that nurture the soul Evaluating popular self-care advice The problem with universal, commercialised recommendations Importance of individualised, inward-looking approaches Introducing the Concept of "Self-Nurture" How self-nurture differs from self-care Greater compassion, sustainability, and personalisation Emphasis on looking inwards for individual needs Practical examples of self-nurturing activities The Pitfalls of Commercialised Self-Care The “shoulds” culture and guilt surrounding unmet self-care standards Surface-level versus meaningful acts of care How marketed solutions often do not address real needs Guilt and shame when unable to practice recommended self-care (especially for those who hoard) Consumer Culture and Self-Care Self-care as a commodified experience: Encouragement to buy unnecessary products How this affects people who hoard Risk of exacerbating clutter by acquiring more as “self-care” Focus on external fixes rather than internal wellbeing The Benefits of Self-Nurture Self-nurture as inexpensive or free Focus on activities rather than acquisitions Finding joy or restoration in simple practices (e.g., using what you have, accessing the library, running without specialised gear) Compassionate Self-Nurture in Practice Asking internal questions about core needs (physical, emotional, psychological) Treating oneself as one would treat a person they love Emphasis on gentle, non-critical, incremental progress Drinking water for wellbeing rather than obligation Time in nature, connecting with friends, creativity, self-acceptance Building Emotional Security and Gentleness Establishing emotional security as a core need Managing self-criticism and reaching out for connection despite anxiety Celebration of small wins and progress Validating and acknowledging difficult feelings with compassion Evaluating and Choosing Nurturing Activities Key questions to ask: “Will this nurture me emotionally, psychologically, or physically?” Differentiating between genuine needs and justifying unnecessary purchases Avoidance of reinforcing negative patterns through acquisition Developing a Personal Toolbox for Self-Nurture Gathering and customising strategies that work Routines and coping mechanisms Taking stock of helpful techniques, personalising approaches Recognising and valuing unique sources of restoration Top Tip DIY, low-cost tip for cleaning the dishwasher with household items Encouragement to take any step, however small, towards self-nurture Links The "feeling your feelings" episode Episodes talking about the inner critic: with Steve Chapman; about the song that changed everything for me; and about making mistakes Come to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom session: Accountability Booking Form Website: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding Become a Dehoarding Darling Submit a topic for the podcast to cover Questions to ask when dehoarding: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/podquestions Instagram: @thathoarderpodcast Twitter: @ThatHoarder Mastodon: @[email protected] TikTok: @thathoarderpodcast Facebook: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding with That Hoarder Pinterest: That Hoarder YouTube: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding with That Hoarder Reddit: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding with That Hoarder subreddit Help out: Support this project Sponsor the podcast