#195 - Money Landmines with Friends: Group Trips, Weddings, and Splitting Checks (Heather Boneparth)

Money can shape adult friendships in ways we don’t always talk about openly. Who pays for dinner? Who can afford the group trip? Do you need to attend the wedding AND the bachelorette party and wedding shower? What happens when your kids start noticing how other families spend money? And how do you handle it when your own financial situation changes before your friendships catch up?This week on Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship, I’m joined by Heather Boneparth, financial professional, former lawyer, and co-author of Money Together. Heather works with individuals, couples, and families around the emotional side of money—and she has strong opinions in the best possible way.We get into the layered and emotional realities of friendship and finances, including:Splitting checks when one person clearly ordered moreTraveling with friends who have very different budgets and expectationsExpensive weddings, bachelorette parties, and how to say “I can’t do this” without shameParenting differences around spending, takeout, Starbucks, and what kids noticeWhat happens when your own financial situation changes and your friendships shift tooWhy empathy matters more than assumptions when it comes to moneyOne thing I appreciated about Heather is that she doesn’t reduce every issue to “just communicate better.” She acknowledges that these conversations are uncomfortable, emotional, and tied to much bigger beliefs about money, fairness, identity, and belonging.And throughout the episode, we come back to one important reminder: you almost never know the full financial story of another person’s life. LINKS MENTIONED: Episode #108 was the previous episode on the topic of money and friendship with Mia Brabham Nolan Heather's newsletter with her husband, Douglas: The Joint Account Heather and Douglas on social media: @averagejoelle and @dougboneparthAnd their book, Money Together: How to find fairness in your relationship and become an unstoppable financial team MEET HEATHER BONEPARTHHeather Boneparth is the director of business and legal affairs for Bone Fide Wealth in New York City. A former corporate lawyer, she's now a rising voice at the intersection of money, relationships, and parenting. She is the co-author of Money Together: How to find fairness in your relationship and become an unstoppable financial team, which she co-wrote with her husband. The couple helps 15,000 subscribers talk about money each week through their newsletter, The Joint Account. You can find her perpetually online: @averagejoelle. ALL THE DEAR NINA LINKS + CONTACT INFO!! Catch up on all Dear Nina episodes on Apple and Spotify📢 How to promote your service, business, or book on Dear Nina🔎 Information on any upcoming "Dear Nina Live" events🎈 Celebrate your friend on the show by dedicating a week of episodes!📱 Subscribe to my newsletter “Conversations About Friendship” on Substack❤️  Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, & the Dear Nina Facebook group📪  Ask an anonymous friendship question📪 email: [email protected]🔎 Want to work with me on your podcast, your friendships, or need another link? That’s probably here. Special thank you, as always, to my assistant producer, Rebekah Jacobs!