EPISODE · Aug 23, 2026 · 40 MIN
#208 - Making Friends at Any Age Takes a Little Risk (Harlan Cohen)
from Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship · host Nina Badzin
Harlan Cohen on friendship, social courage, and finding places where you belong.Finding friendship—at any stage of life—requires the risk of hearing “no.” And that “no” rarely comes directly.That’s one of the ideas I dig into with Harlan Cohen, a New York Times bestselling author and founder of Best First Year, a college success coaching program for students and parents. So much of what Harlan teaches incoming college students and their parents applies just as much in your 30s, 40s, 50s, 60s and beyond. This episode was so popular last year that I was waiting for the right time to play it again. The week I'm dropping off child #2 at college is the right time for sure!If you’re starting over socially, hoping to expand your circle, or just tired of feeling bruised by the ups and downs of friendship, this one’s for you.We get into:Why taking risks and hearing “no” are simply part of friendship at every ageThe difference between an expectation and a requirement in friendshipWhat to do if you’re always the one initiating plans—a popular topic on Dear Nina, and Harlan’s answer was fantasticHarlan’s framework of "people, places, and patience"—and why we all need places where we’re accepted simply for showing up as ourselves, with no barrier to entryThe story of Harlan’s first college roommate and the twist he didn’t learn until 30 years laterLINKS & RESOURCES:Harlan’s College Success Coaching Program Best First YearHarlan's episode with his freshman year roommateYou will love Harlan on Instagram and TikTok and YouTube! MEET HARLAN COHEN: Harlan is the New York Times bestselling author of The Naked Roommate: And 107 Other Issues You Might Run Into In College and six other titles (over 1 million copies in print). His social media accounts have over 1.5 million followers and he hosts the popular podcast, The Harlan Cohen Podcast. He is the founder of Best First Year, a college success coaching program for students and parents. Harlan lives in Chicago, Illinois with his wife and three children. ALL THE DEAR NINA LINKS + CONTACT INFO!! Catch up on all Dear Nina episodes on Apple and Spotify📢 How to promote your service, business, or book on Dear Nina🔎 Information on any upcoming "Dear Nina Live" events🎈 Celebrate your friend on the show by dedicating a week of episodes!📱 Subscribe to my newsletter “Conversations About Friendship” on Substack❤️ Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, & the Dear Nina Facebook group📪 Ask an anonymous friendship question📪 email: [email protected]🔎 Want to work with me on your podcast, your friendships, or need another link? That’s probably here. Special thank you, as always, to my assistant producer, Rebekah Jacobs!
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What this episode covers
Making friends at any age requires some willingness to put yourself out there—and to accept that not every invitation, effort, or friendship will go the way you hoped. New York Times bestselling author Harlan Cohen joins me to talk about finding your people, taking social risks, and his framework of “people, places, and patience.” We also discuss what to do when you’re always the one initiating plans, the difference between expectations and requirements in friendship, and why we all need places where we can simply show up as ourselves. Harlan works extensively with college students and parents, but this conversation is truly for anyone trying to make, deepen, or better understand friendships at any age. Special thank you, as always, to my assistant producer, Rebekah Jacobs!
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#208 - Making Friends at Any Age Takes a Little Risk (Harlan Cohen)
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