21. Truth, lies, and healthy coping

We all know that our thoughts drive our emotions and behavior, but what's even more critical to understand is distinguishing the validity and truth or falsehood of our thoughts and beliefs. I've found that the majority of arguments we have with other people isn't necessarily a difference in values, but a difference in perspective and how each other is viewing a situation. Often our thoughts can become distorted by our previous traumas and subsequent fears, and we may try to regain control based on a lie. The lies we believe can permeate our being and cause us to act in self-preserving ways that harm others, such as ego-defensive behaviors. As a result, we not only see breakdown in our interpersonal relationships, but also breakdown in how we see ourselves. Discerning truth and lies and being able to focus on the higher truths (which I touch on in truth 101) is essential in truly being able to handle life and relationships that moves toward health and healthy coping. In this episode particularly, I use a recent painful breakup to illustrate how distortions can cause irreparable damage, but how you can focus on the larger truth to still move forward and onward towards your highest growth.