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Tickets go on sale to the general public June 30th at somethingworthknowing.com. So come build a better world with us on September 16th and experience something worth knowing you can get your ticket at Complexly.info slash something. Hello and welcome to Dear Hank and John. Of course, I have to first think of the Dear John and Hank.
It's a podcast for two brothers. One of them fairly under the weather answer your questions, give you these advice and bring you all the weeks news from both Mars and A.F.C. and Wimbledon. John.
To be fair, I'm also not feeling great. So it's a little bit of the Dear Hank and John Cold and Flu Spectacular this week. But Hank, what is your horrible joke for me? What do you think weighs more?
A gallon of water or a gallon of butane? I think I know. I think I got it. I think I got it.
Yeah? Can you get it? Yeah, I think it's a gallon of butane because it is the lighter fluid. Well, yes, it's the water because the butane is the lighter fluid, but you were close.
Oh, well, I'm so excited. In my mind to be able to connect butane and lighter fluid and then like get to the I am extremely pleased with myself right now, even if I ruin the joke by failing to get the punchline correct. Hank, let's get right to some questions from our listeners. This first one needs to be answered immediately.
I know that we'd like to start usually with the softballs with the light stuff, but I mean, this is this is intense, man. It's from Aaron who writes Dear John and Hank, my husband and I have been together for 15 years. We recently had our second child and I thought I knew this man fairly well. However, we ate cottage cheese a few weeks ago and he put sugar on it like it was the most natural thing in the world.
Apparently, he grew up doing this. So happy about this twist. I was really worried and I discovered that my mother-in-law also grew up committing this atrocity against cottage cheese as well. They grew up in the southern United States.
Is this a southern thing? Is this a southern? No. Well, I mean, it is a southern thing to put sugar on whatever.
If you're like, well, you know, we haven't tried sugar on this yet. Let's make sweet meat, you know? That's true. There's a there's a fair amount of sugar to meat in the south.
When I was growing up, at least, we did not sugar our cottage cheese. Yeah, no. I spent many I spent many a summer in Alabama and Tennessee without ever once seeing sugar cottage cheese. I mean, I think a lot of our listeners probably don't know what cottage cheese is here in the year of our Lord 2019 because you want to talk about a food that has decreased in popularity other than like gelatin-based meat dishes.
I can think of nothing that has dropped in popularity faster in the last 75 years than cottage cheese. I like the branding of cottage cheese that it was just like, okay, this is cheese, but like really uncomplicated. We were like, there were we made this and then there are a lot of other steps to get to cheese and we've decided to skip those steps and then just put this into a bin and put it on the grocery store shelf. This is the cheese of the peasant tree, accept it.
And everybody's like, yes, we agree. I shall have the peasant cheese. Well, when we were kids, I mean, the thing that's especially weird about putting sugar on cottage cheese is that when we were kids, cottage cheese was like the leading diet food. It was like the food that everyone ate alongside of rice cakes as a way of trying to minimize caloric intake, which of course, what was that about?
It's ludicrous. Why was cottage cheese diet food? Who some genius at cottage cheese dot com headquarters in, you know, probably Pennsylvania was like, ah, I got it. It's really good for you.
I mean, maybe it is. I mean, to be fair, it has a ton of protein. It's relatively low in carbohydrates and fats. I mean, maybe cottage cheese is poised for a comeback and we need to invest in a cottage cheese startup.
Like, we work, but for cottage cheese. Oh, no, it's like what happened with hummus. Yes. So suddenly hummus was like, I used to make hummus at home because you couldn't buy it at the store.
Then suddenly hummus was everybody but there's also like weird flavored hummus. And it's except now it's like maple syrup, cottage cheese and nobody ever knew that it would be so good to put like a bunch of honey in your cottage cheese or now it changed the world. Let me just throw this out there. Sugar.
Well, that's what I mean. You can't just put sugar in it because people don't like sugar anymore. They like honey and maple syrup and natural. Yeah, agave.
Exactly. That's my brother thinking with his thinky brain. Agave cottage cheese. That is about.
Oh, yeah. Oh, hey, I'm so excited for our burgeoning food services business where we participate in the most important thing that can happen in the 21st century, which is the resurrection of cottage cheese. Yeah. I mean, you know, Hank, as we end this decade and we look ahead to what we want to see in the 2020s, obviously, there's a lot, right, you know, in terms of climate change, overall quality of justice, but maybe the most important change is that we want to make the world safer cottage cheese again.
No, yeah, cottage cheese must come back. There are many important issues, but nothing I care about so much as sweet cottage cheese. Oh, God. I got a bunch of cottage cheese in the house.
Should I try it? Should I go get some sugar and some cottage cheese and tell you what it's what's up? Because you drink like, whoa, whoa, whoa, you have cereal with water. So like you can't judge anybody on anything and you made me try that.
And I can confirm that it's bad. Zero with water is great. I'm not if there's a hill, I'm going to die on Hank. That's the hill.
But neither of us. Yeah. Either of us is going to go. Go.
Go. Go. Go. Go.
If you're go to your house, grab the cottage cheese, put some sugar on it, give me a review. Suddenly, this is a food tasting podcast. We're doing it. We're going to jump cut to you with the cottage cheese and sugar right now.
I've got cottage cheese and it's got sugar on it, John. All right. What's the review? Well, I don't want it like an ASMR thing where I have to listen to you chew it.
I just want you to well, let's go on in right now. So I don't know if you're going to be able to hear it, but here it is. Oh, you know, maybe that's okay. It tastes like cottage cheese, but sweeter.
I was expecting it to be like way sweeter, but cottage cheese is like tangy and salty, right? So I mean, I haven't had cottage cheese in at least 20 years. I have no idea what it tastes like. I don't like that.
All right. There you go. Hank Green's review of cottage cheese with sugar on it. We built toward that for 10 minutes and there it is.
We really went all in on that one. Now I've got it. Now I've got a fair amount of cottage cheese here that I have to eat. And I don't like it.
I like it better without sugar. Also, the sugar grains are not dissolving, especially well. So it's kind of a little crunchy. Oh, God, that just sounds awful.
It tastes a little bit like buttercream frosting. Well, now I'm interested. Maybe I need more sugar. Maybe this wasn't enough sugar.
Yeah, buttercream frosting is delicious. If we could release a health food product or a product that at least disguise itself as a health food that tasted just like buttercream frosting, we'd finally, we'd finally have a hit on our hands, Hank. Well, after all these years, something, oh man, you know what I really don't want to be in the business of its cheese. I just think there are lots of experts who are very good at their cheese jobs, and I don't want to deny that to them.
And I'm going to stay in my lane. Okay, John, we have talked about cottage cheese for such a long time. This next question comes from Annabeth who asks, dear John and Hank, my favorite color is green. Is it socially acceptable for me to buy and wear Slytherin merch, even though I am a Raven Claw pumpkin juice and pick me puffs?
Annabeth? No, hard. No, you can wear green, but you can't wear Slytherin merch. Yeah, I mean, unless you like support them in my quidditch.
Yeah, that's like if you're a Liverpool fan, but your favorite color is blue. And so you're like, well, I mean, I guess I could get a blue polo or I could get this sweet Chelsea jersey. No. So if I'm from Manchester City, I don't have to be a Manchester City fan, right?
Correct. You could, for instance, be a Manchester United fan. They play in the same city. Could I also be a Liverpool fan?
Yes, in fact, all of Manchester United fans are from London. I don't wait. Liverpool is the same thing as London? No, you killed my joke.
It's a great joke. It's just only soccer fans will get it. Trust me. Hey, there's like 14 listeners who just laughed really hard.
Okay. All right, I believe you. But like, so I grew up in Orlando and I liked to sports. I liked sports teams that were not from Orlando.
Yeah. So indeed you had to. Yeah. Let's see when I root for those good all solar bears.
So could you, as a Hogwarts student, like be a Hufflepuff, but root for Slytherin? No, that's no, I feel like you can't. I mean, I haven't seen you try so hard to dig deep into a question that has a quick answer since you put sugar on cottage cheese. This next question comes from Mari who writes, Dear John and Hank, I've recently been learning more about the negative effects of stress on health.
In fact, I'm pretty stressed out about it. How do I stop stressing about my stress? I don't worry in planning out their place, but are there good ways you have found a cut off unproductive worries? Oh, God, I wish.
Yeah. I mean, I hope that I have some answers to this question, but I know that John doesn't. I'll tell you nothing annoys me more than when they release a new study where they're like, poor sleep sure is closely associated with all kinds of negative health outcomes. And I'm like, well, now I've got a new thing to think about while I'm trying to go to sleep.
I'm going to sleep. This is this. I honestly wonder like we do need to know more about the world, but sometimes I wonder if the act of knowing actually has negative consequences for health outcomes. Yeah, it turns out there is a lot I am happy not knowing.
And there's also a lot that would make my life better if I knew it. And the internet is really bad at helping me access the second kind of information and really good at helping me access the first kind of information. Stressing about stress is a feedback loop. And I don't know how to handle that except to like find other productive uses for my mental energy, whether that's like creating stuff or connecting with people and really just those are the two.
Right. I think there are cognitive behavioral therapy techniques that you can use to break those feedback loops, but you're not going to learn them on an advice podcast. Yeah, I have definitely come across some techniques from cognitive behavioral therapy that help me to break those feedback loops. But I am not a psychologist and I don't want to pretend to be one and people should talk to professionals about this stuff.
Not podcasters who are the literal opposite of professionals. This next question comes from Danica who asks, Dear Hank and John in middle school, we learned about the layers of the Earth's and the Earth's core. And I accepted this information without a second thought. However, now as an adult, I wonder, how?
How do they know what the core of the Earth is made of? And even if they have a quote pretty good idea, is there any way to be sure? Isn't it like really far down there? If you're British, my name rhymes with Hanukkah, Danica.
Okay, John, how do they know what the inside of the Earth is like? You know, I can name all the like parts of the Earth. There's the crust, there's the mantle, there's the outer core, there's the inner core, but I have no idea how we know any of that. Yeah, well, I think I am annoyed by not this question, but by this practice where we're like, the Earth is, there's a mantle and there's the core and there's the crust.
And here's the information, children know all these things without any like look at the remarkably cool ways that we figured this out. And it's not that complicated. So like, if you want to know what's under the ground, you can send a sound wave down and you can see that stuff's down there. You can see like dinosaur bones beneath the surface.
You can see big pockets of water or big pockets of oil. We use this stuff all the time to find fossil fuels to do geology. And you cannot, however, make a sound loud enough to bounce through the entire Earth. The good news is the Earth makes those sounds itself all the time and they're called earthquakes.
Yeah. And so when we listen to earthquakes as they travel around the planet, we can pay attention to how fast they move through different areas of the planet and how they bounce back from different things. And that's how we know what the interior of the Earth is like. And that's just like, it's such a cool thing that would be perfectly understandable to middle schoolers that we just don't say.
We just say, we know what the Earth core is like without being like, they figured this out and they used earthquakes. That's really cool. I didn't know that. And I wish that had been explained to me because then I might have cared a little bit about middle school science, which unfortunately I didn't.
Now you wouldn't. I probably wouldn't have. Oh god, I was such a disaster in middle school. Yeah.
All right, Hank, we've handled the big stuff. Let's get to the small stuff. The next question is from Alice. He writes, Dear John and Hank, I was recently out of talking a book festival and the lady talking was from America.
I'm from London and I don't remember exactly how it came up. But she said that we British people should get a constitution. I understand the benefits of having a constitution, but it just doesn't seem like a good idea to set rules that you're going to be expected to follow forever because, you know, things change and for it to work surely these rules would have to be faultless and no rules are faultless. So my question is, do you like having a constitution and should I get one?
John? Yeah. I don't want this to sound like I really super ignorant, but I just assumed that like all countries had constitutions. Well, the vast majority do.
Okay, that's good. The United Kingdom doesn't have a constitution because it is an extremely weird country in every way. Okay. So they do have like this outline of rights from 1215 that you probably read about in history class.
It's called the Magna Carta. Did you just say 1215? I did. I said 1215, 804 years ago.
12, like the number 12 and the number 15. Yeah, 1,215. 1,215. Yeah.
Just like the Dark Ages? You know, two ways of looking at it, I guess. Okay. Historians don't really say Dark Ages anymore.
They don't say middle ages. It's very, I'm very scared to even talk about this period of history for fear that historians of the era will come for me. I have a plan. Okay.
And the plan is that we sell the rights to the middle ages to a brand. Coca-Cola, the Coca-Cola ages, and everyone will just know what we're talking about, but then they'll get a bunch of brand recognition. You're saying that we should sell the brand rights to this period of history. Since we don't know what to call it anymore, just like, you know, it used to be the Orlando Arena and that it was like the TD Waterhouse Center.
Sure. Yeah. So it would be the TD Waterhouse age. Yeah.
Everybody, every brand wants to be associated with this period of history. There was so much bubonic plague. So they have a document. Yeah.
They have this outline of rights, the Magna Carta that, you know, oh, I've heard of the Magna Carta. Yeah. It has it. Can I guess what Magna Carta means in Latin?
It's Latin, I assume. I assume so. Does it mean really big card? It was written on a big card?
I have no idea what it means. All right. So the big card. What was written on the big card, John?
I think it means the great charter. And anyway, it doesn't matter. So with that, I can spell 15, the Magna Carta basically laid out that the king had to like call parliament and guarantee fair trials and guarantee free movement of people and like freedom of, okay, and a certain amount of separation of church and state and British had a parliament in 1215? Not really, but kind of.
It was a slow process. This was Cromwell was. No. Is this the Civil War?
No. No. No. You're off like a solid 350 years.
Oh, God. I'm so happy my country is so young. It's barely ever existed. It's so easy to know American history.
So it's been around for like 250 years. Yeah. 12 of them good. It's actually our national motto.
Which 12 you decide? The point is there is no like single written constitutional document of the UK. Instead, there are all of these like traditions about how government happens, which by and large seems to be working fine. And there are obvious advantages to having a constitution like you can point to this or that.
But there is so much like precedence in British law that it seems like things are going fine. And so I don't really agree with that American speaker. Also like there are downsides to having a written constitution, including that it's very, very hard to change now. Right.
That also has its advantages, right? Like theoretically, the UK could collapse into some kind of dictatorship perhaps quicker than the US could because we would have these like protections built into our constitution. But if I've learned anything from studying world history, it's that constitutions only matter when people believe in them. Right.
And that's the same for traditions. And we have also learned in the US that much of what we sort of think of as like wrote definite, like this is how things work isn't it's not constitutional. It's, you know, it's it's precedence that we've said in the meantime, it's traditions that we have things that aren't even written down. And that's that's been really interesting to see tested.
Interesting is a great adjective for that. Yeah. Experience. You can say that everything is going fine in the UK and you can say that it's not, but it has worked for a long time.
I mean, I would argue that it's I would argue there've been some issues over the last 804 years. Yeah. You know, as there as there are want to be, but existing for 804 years is a is a baller move and not often is it accomplished by anything. So congratulations to the United Kingdom on making it to 804.
All right, John, this next question comes from Caitlin because I wanted to not talk about that anymore. Dear Hank and John, why don't snow globes get moldy inside like nearly everything else with water left inside for too long, like flower vases and water bottles, Chocchkes and cheetahs Caitlin, they do they do I googled it and my friends, I don't want to see a moldy snow globe ever again. So you need two things for mold to grow. One, you need mold spores.
So like the thing that they're little seeds, basically, and then you need some food for them to eat. Now you can deny the access to the snow globe of both of those things. And that is generally done. And they are generally sterile on the inside when you receive them.
That's the plan anyway. And then there's also not a lot of food inside of a snow globe. So don't put a hot dog in there. That's going to cause you a problem.
But there is always tiny amounts of food in places and also just floating around us all the time. And so if there is any little imperfection in the seal, you might get something in there. Now you can also, if you have a problem with snow globe mold, which is because I read an article about how to deal with this, you can drain it out, fill it with an antibacterial solution. You can even leave the antibacterial solution in their anti fungal, anti-life solution.
And that will give you a snow globe free of stuff. But having it closed to the outside, generally means that food isn't going to get in there, spores aren't going to get in there, unless you have some structural compromise to the seal, which you would also know because your snow globe would be leaking. But apparently it can happen. And there are websites out there for that very thing, which is take that sentence and apply it to any of the things.
Hank, if I can't commemorate my favorite ever hot dog by putting it inside of a snow globe, which I understand from your explanation that I won't be able to do, it does make me at least wonder, is there a hot dog in your past that was so overwhelmingly the best hot dog you ever ate that you wish you could look back on it in snow globe form? No, because I have such a hot dog. Mine would be a corn dog. I think that there must be corn dogs, no globes.
And I'm going to Google it right now to confirm. So I eat a hot dog one tank and I'm not really a hot dog person, but I eat this one hot dog in Iceland that I think about at least once a day. I've thought about it every day for 10 years. What a great way to avoid stress.
So instead of stressing about stress, just think about the hot dog. Oh my God, this hot dog and Reykjavik, it was like 50 cents. And then I ate it. And then I immediately got back in line to eat another one of those hot dogs.
Sometimes I will go to the TripAdvisor page for this hot dog stand in Reykjavik, Iceland, just to remember eating that hot dog. And then I will read like two star reviews of that hot dog stand and I will get so angry, so like vicariously outraged that anyone could eat that hot dog and be like, oh, the line was long. Of course, the line was long. There should be a word for rage at reviews of restaurants that you don't own, but do appreciate because I have it all the time.
Reading Yelp reviews of my favorite restaurants is a completely unique experience in just like human empathy and being like, I don't understand how you got the way you are. Yeah, the other one that I often get angry about is one star reviews of hotels that I know for a fact are excellent. And then I'll read the one star review and I'll be like, I think that you showed up looking to have a terrible time and figured out how to have one. Yeah, there's a lot of one of my favorite restaurants has.
The portions are so small and I'm just like, oh, leave, just go. Yeah, I mean, that's why God made the cheesecake factory. You know, that's yeah, portions are your priority. Go somewhere where they have a 72 page menu as other places for you.
I'm so angry about the hot dog stand thing. It still gets me. It's great hot dog. You ever go to Reykjavik, hold on, I gotta Google it.
What's that incredible hot dog stand in Reykjavik? Boom. First link, it's called by Jarns Betsu-Pielzer, which in English means the best hot dog in town, which it is. First link.
Maybe just because Google knows you so well though, they're like, oh, we know what you're talking about. Oh, God, here's an article from 2016 that's making me very angry called Reykjavik Hot Dogs, why the best ones aren't it by Jarns Betsu-Pielzer. Which reminds me that this podcast is brought to you by the person who thinks the thing that you love is bad. The person who thinks the thing that you love is bad, they will not be silenced.
And also, I'm going to give them so much of my mental real estate whether I want to or not. Today's podcast is also brought to you by the TD Waterhouse age. The TD Waterhouse age ended around like 1400. I have no idea.
And also this podcast is brought to you by Agave Cheese. It's brand new from Hank and John Hank and John's Agave Cheese. Just saying it makes me want to not have a mouth anymore. I wouldn't go that far.
That's the only way to be safe from the Agave Cheese. And also the podcast is of course brought to you by wearing your house, whatever your house is regardless of colors. Because this episode of your Hank and John's Brandt by Shopify. There are a lot of things that stand between I have an idea and this is an idea that actually exists in the world and people are buying things from me.
And that is what Shopify makes easier. When you start with Shopify, the tools, to design and launch and take payments, they're all there from day one. You don't have to build a whole machine before you can start building the business. And this is important because you also have to look good and with Shopify's templates, you could get a site set up really quick that looks credible and professional without needing to code or duct tape a bunch of different tools together.
And when things look real, that works on my brain to be like I'm doing a real thing. It also works on other people's brains to be like this is legitimate. Shopify also has one of the best checkout systems on the internet. It's built to help customers finish the purchase effectively and efficiently without a bunch of roadblocks.
Returning customers can check out with a single click. That means less friction and fewer abandoned carts and a smoother experience for everybody. That stuff gives you confidence early on and it gives other people confidence in what you're doing. You're not wondering whether the payment system is going to work.
You're not wondering whether customers can get through the process. Shopify handles that foundation so you can focus on the thing that you're actually trying to do. It's really kind of amazing to me that Shopify is a tool that works from the first day your store launches when you're just starting to get customers all the way up to being the size of good.store or dftv.com or being the size of like Mattel and Gymshark. When you build a Shopify you're building with tools that already work at every scale.
All you need is the idea Shopify handles the rest. You can start your free trial at Shopify.com slash Dear Hank. Start your free trial at Shopify.com slash Dear Hank. With new subscription only, while supplies last until September 27th, 2026.
See you website for more details. It's your house in the Harry Potter universe. This next question comes from Jasmine who asks Dear Hank and John. Why do grocery stores have a salad bar but also always a separate olive bar.
There are like 10 kinds of olives all in large quantities. Who is eating all of these olives? All of your show? Jasmine.
I think that was a pun. It was good. It was hard to perform but I'll send you some notes later. So I'm married to a person who goes to the olive bar and here's what I know about this place.
You can't have a regular salad bar because the olives are much more expensive per pound. And there are certain people whose brains have been colonized by olives in a way. And I don't know if this is just sort of like a mimetic thing. If this is just like a psychological thing or if there's an actual like if you eat enough olives then like as if it was one of these like brain controlling fungi.
They actually take control of a part of your brain and make you addicted to these things that taste bad. But people who like olives like them a lot and there are many different kinds and they are a high margin, high price product. And so grocery stores want to devote a portion of their limited square footage to the sale of these objects that people are very passionate about and will pay a premium price for. The other thing is that olives have a very long shelf life.
So in addition to being relatively high margin, you can keep them around that olive bar for a while. Right. Yeah. If like something if like some fungal spores land in your olive bar, they die immediately because of how olives are poisoned.
They're really not. I mean, everybody who says they hate olives still eats olive oil. It's true. I do eat olive oil.
Because it doesn't taste like olives. I mean, it does a little bit. We don't have to feed this. I haven't we had enough food conversation for.
I need to be the person who hates the thing you like for just this moment. So you can yell at me. I'm going to take up your cognitive space now. I mean, that's the thing.
I do it. It's not that I don't do it. I absolutely do it. Like I yuck on other people's yums all the time for no reason.
Even when their yums aren't hurting anyone. The whole problem is that if I were immune to it, I think it would bother me less. But I am completely not. Why are we doing this?
How can we stop? I don't know, John. I think we're just we're just all trying to find our identities. And I really hate the taste of olives.
Well, I'm glad that at the age of 39 and a half, you have finally found a way of identifying yourself and finding your tribe. And that tribe is going to be other people who also hate olives. I want to like them. I wish I liked them.
Everybody seems so happy. Maybe that's it. People who like olives just seem so happy eating olives. And I'm just like, I want to be that happy.
These people who hate your hot dog. They just want to be happy like you. My favorite thing that people do is when they know that the hot dog stand isn't cool anymore because it became so popular. And so they know that they're not supposed to like it because they're cool people.
And so they say things like, I know that this hot dog stand is lame, but the one hot dog that I had was incredible. I chose all the perfect things to put on it. I've got another question that comes from Steve who writes, Dear John and Hank, should I ask my friends why I have not received an invitation to their wedding? I know at least one of my other friends got an invite, but I have not.
We're not super close, but I was still expecting something. Steve, no. Steve, no. No.
You're not, you're not super close. No, Steve, you're not super close. You said so. Just there.
Yeah, you're not super close. Yeah. I mean, if you were super close, then there's a chance that maybe it got lost in the mail, but no. I mean, you didn't get invited to the wedding because it cost like $150 per guest to invite someone to your wedding.
Yeah. And you didn't make the cut. Yeah. And that's fine.
That's fine. I was recently not invited to a pretty close friends wedding. And it was a wedding that I wanted to go to, but like, but they were being conscious of the money that they were going to spend because like they want to be able to have a sustainable life. Yeah.
And you don't go to the wedding, but maybe a few months later, you say like, Oh, can you all go out for dinner and you go out for dinner and you pay for dinner? And then you've gotten them a wedding present of a kind, or at least you can tell yourself that. And it's great. Not going to a wedding is kind of a blessing, Steve.
You got to see the positive angle in this, which is that you're not going to go to go to a wedding. Steve, Steve's like, look, I heard there was going to be an open bar and free food. And I no longer have access to said open bar and free food. And this, this is not ideal for Steve.
It's not maybe it's not ideal, but it's okay. It's not the end of the world. It's not a reflection on you. You can't make other people's weddings about you.
That's what I'm trying to get to. Yeah, it's really it's about them. And they have to, it's really hard. It's hard to play an event like this.
And you don't want the extra stress of people being like, but what about me though? Yes, it's already very stressful. Oh, yeah, it's so stressful. It's the most stressed out I've ever seen Hank and I've seen Hank in some stressful situations before.
I think I still think that it might be the most stressed out I've ever been, which is wild because I've had some weird stuff happen to me since then. It might have been the most stressed out I've ever been, not your wedding, which is a blast, but my wedding, which was very stressful. Like I remember at one point in my wedding, it was actually while you were giving a toast. And I was standing like on a staircase looking down at 350 people, many of them strangers.
And I remember that every single second, I thought I am going to throw up now. I'm going to throw up now. Like I seriously thought I was going to like vomit on my tuxedo in front of all of these people every single second that you were giving your toast. I have no idea what you said.
I was only having one thought, which is please, please, please don't vomit right now of all times, please. And I didn't. Good job, John. Thanks.
I'm proud of you. Oh, I like to set low bars and then exceed expectations. Hank, yeah, before we get to the on-port news from Mars and AFC Wimbledon, a lot of people have written in about my exploding shower door. I love it.
If you've been listening to the pod regularly, you may know that the glass shower door in my bathroom exploded in the middle of the night into like 10,000 pieces. It was very dramatic. You can see a picture of it at patreon.com slash Dear Hank and John. Lots of people are now totally freaked out about their own glass in their own bathrooms, including Katie, who wrote in to say, Dear John and Hank, your most recent podcast has completely freaked me out.
Is my shower glass going to explode while I am in the shower? If it does, how hurt will I be? Should I start taking pads only for safety? Oh, Katie, as if taking a bath is going to save you, then the glass is just going to like land on higher up your bathing body.
Yeah. Well, so you're not going to get hurt by this glass. You can walk on like the glass is tempered in your shower door and it will break in such a way that you can walk on it with bare feet without cutting yourself. It won't be like pleasant to walk on and you shouldn't like jump up and down like your John McLean.
The reason I'm going to go ahead and disagree with you is just because I cut myself walking on this very glass. And I feel like, oh, I've got some personal experience here. But the more important thing, Katie, is that your shower is almost definitely not going to explode while you are in it. Okay.
Why? Because almost all the time you are not in it. So first off, your shower almost definitely isn't going to explode period. Secondly, if it does explode, which it almost definitely won't, it almost definitely won't happen while you're in the shower.
And third, even if it does, you might get a little scratched up and you'll have a hell of a story, but you're almost definitely not going to die. Yes, I take it all back. You could easily get cut from this stuff. Thank you.
It won't go deep though, because the pieces are small. It won't go super deep. That's mostly probably everything's going to be fine, Katie. Again, as always, with the caveat, not in the long run.
John, I guess the news from Mars this week is what we're moving on to now. We've got another update from the insight mole. So you know that what this thing is, we sent to Mars to try and dig it to the planet and at first it was hammering it to the planet. And then it got stuck because of weird friction issues.
So scientists working on a fake Mars, they built on Earth, they figured out a plan where they could pin it against the side of the hole to help it dig itself. That seemed like it was going well, helped the mold dig two centimeters at the end of October. The mold decided to just pop halfway out the hole, which is not where it should be going. And the insight team is still fairly certain that the mole didn't hit a rock.
And they haven't noticed anything that suggests the hammering mechanism inside is broken. So now the team has moved the rover's robotic arm out of place so they can see what's going on. And then they'll probably have to go back to the lab to figure out some possible plans to deal with the most new issues. So it's bad.
It's just gone from bad to worse, John. It's extremely difficult to dig a hole on Mars. Like it's so hard. It's so hard.
The more you think about it, the more obvious it is that it was always going to be hard. Like it would be pretty difficult for me. Like if you gave me 10 years, I might be able to design a machine that could dig a hole on Earth without like constant physical help from me. But it would take a while for me to design that machine, let alone one that can go to Mars and do that.
It's incredible that we're doing anything on Mars. Hank, have you heard all the new stuff about terraforming Venus and how maybe Venus is our future? No, I haven't. Oh, it's a big thing.
It's very hot there. Is it better to be very hot or is it better to be very cold? This is a debate that I have every winter in Indianapolis, where I think like, you know, right now I wish it was 110. I would much prefer to be very cold.
I would much prefer to die of sleepy cold than Bernie hot. What's the temperature on Venus right now? Oh, God. Okay.
Yeah. It's 864 degrees Fahrenheit. So it's not like a warm summer's day. Yeah.
It's the hottest planet on the solar system, John. It's hot in the Mercury. Even the Mercury's way closer to the Sun. Cuz of, wait for it, the greenhouse effect, which is a freaking thing.
All right. Good party. So Mars is called Venus is hot. What if John we just crash into each other?
Counter argument. What if they were a planet in the middle? The news for ants in Wimbledon is medium. In some ways, very good.
A.F.C. Wimbledon tied Lincoln City 1-1 on a last minute goal from Quasiapaya. Truly a last minute goal. Nearly the last kick of the game.
And I think it's like the third or fourth time that Wimbledon have had a last minute goal this season. And it was a good goal. And it was a very important point because that single point that we got for that tie took us into the coveted position of 20th place in League 1, which is exactly where we need to finish the season if we are going to not get relegated. I mean, you got a lot of work to do to move any further up the table, though.
We do. We do. It should also be noted that by getting that point, the team that we pushed into the relegation zone is the franchise currently playing its trade in Milton Keynes. I mean, if this were being written by a screenwriter, it couldn't be written any more dramatically.
What are you guys going to play each other? Not for a little while. But in worrying news, Bolton, which you'll remember started the season out with negative 12 points, is down to negative two points. And starting to make me just a smidge nervous.
South and United look very likely to go down. They only have five points after playing 17 games. And so it looks like that last relegation spot is going to go to somebody. Will it go to Milton Keynes?
Will it go to AFC Wimbledon? We've still got 30 games left in the season to find out. Oof. That's a lot.
We do a lot of sports left to sport. John, thank you for making a podcast with me. We're off now to record our Patreon Only podcast this week in Ryan's. I think is it still this week in Ryan's?
Yeah, just for a couple more weeks than we're debuting an all new Patreon Only podcast. Because the current one is bad. But you can get it at patreon.com slash gearhikingjohn. This podcast is a co-production of Complexly at W&YC Studios.
It's produced by Rosie Anna Halsruhehausen, shared in Gibson. It's edited by Joseph Tuna-Medish. Our head of community and communications is Victoria Bonjourno. The music that you're hearing now and at the beginning of the podcast is by the Great Gunnarolla.
And as they say in our hometown, don't forget to be awesome.