22. QUICK RESET: Why self-care feels like another f*cking task

If someone tells you to take a bubble bath one more time, you might scream. This Quick Reset is a no-filter, nervous-system-level rant for every ADHD mum who’s been told that a massage will fix her burnout. Jane unpacks why the whole self-care industry is fundamentally mismatched to neurodivergent mums — and how pretending we feel better after one ‘treat’ just leads to more shame, not recovery. From sensory overload and executive dysfunction to the rage of being handed a “Mother’s Day spa voucher” after 364 days of unpaid emotional labour, this episode calls out the delusion of performance rest — and offers honest alternatives that might actually increase your capacity to survive. ✨ IN THIS RESET: Why typical self-care advice feels like a slap in the face How ADHD brains struggle to “relax on command” The truth behind fake rest, survival mode, and executive dysfunction What to do when even the bath feels too hard How to find five-minute moments that actually help (without a full routine) A very real story about walking 50 metres to put the bins out — slowly 💭 This episode is for you if:– You’re drowning in responsibility and someone suggests yoga– You’ve tried rest but felt more resentful than rested– You want to stop surviving a system that breaks you, blames you, and offers a bubble bath as compensation References 📚Brown, T. E. (2013). A New Understanding of ADHD in Children and Adults: Executive Function Impairments. Routledge. 📚 *Price, D. (2021). Laziness Does Not Exist. Atria Books. 📚 Barkley, R. A. (2012). Executive Functions: What They Are, How They Work, and Why They Evolved. Guilford Press. Other Quick Reset Episodes: S3E8 Advocating for Your Child Shouldn’t Break You — But It Often Does: Spotify | Apple Podcast S3E10 Why am I bracing for impact when nothing is wrong?: Spotify  | Apple Podcast S3E12 I can’t stop snapping when my child does this one thing: Spotify | Apple Podcast  S3E14 I Cancel Plans Because I Don’t Have the Energy to Fake My Personality: Spotify | Apple Podcast S3E15 He wants the Maldives but we can't even manage the park: Spotify | Apple Podcast S3E16 No meds, No plan, and no help..... but yet they're still calling us undiagnosed: Spotify | Apple Podcast S3E17 How we survive the 3- 6:00 PM shit show when kids are coming down off meds: Spotify | Apple Podcast S3E18 Why you are bad at asking for help and what to do instead: Spotify | Apple Podcast 🔁 SHARE THIS RESET:If this one hit hard, send it to a mum friend who’s also stuck in survival mode. Let her know: she’s not broken, she’s bracing. Read the blog version of this episode: https://adhdmums.com.au/quick-reset-why-self-care-feels-like-another-fcking-task/  TOPICS COVERED IN THIS EPISODE: ADHD mums, performance parenting, fake rest, executive dysfunction, parenting burnout, self-care shame, chronic dysregulation, ADHD and motherhood, cortisol overload, trauma-informed parenting, invisible load, overfunctioning, resentment cycle, Mother's Day rage, self-care myths, rest as survival, emotional labour, ADHD sensory processing, real recovery, neurodivergent rest.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.