22 // Raise Your Self-Love and Heal Your Relationship with Your Own Self

Raising your self-love begins with healing the relationship you have with your own self. A lot of times, we aren't even aware of why we talk to ourselves or treat ourselves the way we do and so we have no idea how to change it. We just believe we're not good at self-love, and other people "get" something that we don't. In this episode, I'm going to breakdown how self-talk develops, why it's not a direct reflection of things said to you, and how to view your own self with more compassion and more love. PDF DOWNLOAD of the self-love reflection questions at the end: https://www.melissa-field.com/blog/raise-your-self-love-and-heal-your-relationship-with-your-own-self This episode builds upon what we talked about last week, which was all about having a healthy and loving relationship in your life. It's impossible to cultivate healthy relationships with others without having a healthy relationship with your own self. How you treat yourself determines how everyone else in your life is going to treat you. My shop with magical stuff: https://melissafield.gumroad.comThe membership is now called the DreamLife Portal: https://melissafield.gumroad.com/l/ManifestingVortexConnect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/meditate_with_melissaTime stamps: 00:15 What we talked about last week (manifesting a healthy relationship) 00:33 The importance of self-love in having healthy relationships (platonic and romantic) 1:11 How was your self-relationship created? How did you learn to talk to yourself? 1:50 Why do we believe our own negative self-talk? 2:30 More on how you learned to talk to yourself. Why we valued our parents/caregivers opinion and treatment of us even when it was harmful and hurtful. 3:28 What our parents/caregivers were really teaching us (i.e. it wasn’t about us) 4:07 How do we develop the words we say to ourselves, and why is it different than what was actually said to us? Example at 4:19 5:38 How we process the world/ourselves as children 6:15 How we process the world as adults 7:00 How to view the adults who hurt us and played a part in the development of a negative self-relationship 8:29 How our external experiences as children get internalized as self-talk 10:06 Can we change our inner self-talk? Is change possible? 11:07 Step one in healing your self-relationship – get honest about the relationship you’re in 11:45 Let go of blaming yourself – you live in a world that encourages self-rejection and self-criticism 12:22 What I saw when I looked at my own self-relationship, and how I felt when I got honest with myself 14:04 Bringing compassion into your view of your self-relationship 14:56 Looking at ourselves is scary. Give yourself love and celebrate your courage 15:57 See the child within you who learned to be critical of you, and love them and give them space to heal 16:41 Looking at the critic within you in a new way and how to talk to the child within you 18:06 A tip for soothing and supporting your inner child 19:10 Beginning of reflection questions / Seeing your own self-relationship 36:25 End of reflection questions / conclusion / next steps