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Tickets go on sale to the general public June 30th at somethingworthknowing.com. So come build a better world with us on September 16th and experience something worth knowing you can get your ticket at Complexly.info slash something. Oh and welcome to Dear Hank and John! Of course I've heard the good Dear John and Hank.
It's a podcast where two brothers, your favorite brothers and your questions give you a surprise to bring you all the weeks news from both Mars and AFC Wimbledon. John! Yes. So Valentine's Day is coming up so I had to get a really good present for Katherine.
Sure. So I decided to get her like the small beads that go on an abacus because John I have heard it's the little things that count. I think I'm only laughing because I had to call an Oscar for you like three hours ago and so I'm still slightly, still slightly anesthetized. The doctor, he said I hope you don't have any plans for the rest of the day.
I said as it happens I have to go in and record my podcast and the doctor said well you know I always say don't do any important work, don't sign any bank documents but I think you're probably fine to make a podcast. Well good John we'll see. We'll see what you're capable of. How many how many Dr.
Peppers have you had? Just a couple. You know they don't let you have any in the hours before the procedure so I'm about one and a quarter of a diet doctor covers into my recovery right now and I wasn't able to have any coffee this morning. I'm not here to complain this is not my first colonoscopy but I do want to take this opportunity to say to anybody out there who's over the age of 50 or potentially even over the age of 45 which is now when some people are recommending that you first talk to your doctor.
Get a colonoscopy. I know that they can be intimidating and a little freaky outy and you're psyching yourself up. I'm talking to you less than three hours after I was dead asleep with a scope inside of my body and I'm fine. Yeah not fine but I'm like 80% you're fine that's fine 80% is fine John.
I often make the podcast at less than 80% so you're still going to get an above average me but yeah get a colonoscopy. Talk to your doctor about it. It is an important method of prevention that not enough people take advantage of. Hey you know the story but I'm going to tell it anyway.
When I was 24 years old and I'd had a series of complicated stomach problems and we have family history and stuff doctor at a wonderful Polish doctor in Chicago at the time. It's just an amazing doctor. One of my all time favorite people when she retired I retire all of my doctors. I've retired like 37 different physicians.
When she retired she wrote me a very good young ones John. No I've retired a couple young ones. They were a couple who like when they got ahold of me they were 32 and then five years later they were like I just can't do it anymore. Okay I say let's see the problem.
Anyway my all time favorite doctor and no disrespect to my current doctor I know he listens to the pun. This doctor she always like to put her hand on my arm somewhere like she would often say to me in a very thick Polish accent. You must remember that you are always worried. That was very true but anyway so one day she puts her hand on me and she says I'm sorry to say but it is time for the colonoscopy and I said oh I should get a colonoscopy and she said yes yes it is the monkey but you must do it.
And even now 20 years later all the time Sarah or I will put a hand on the other's arm and say it is the monkey but you must do it. I feel like we don't have enough good phrases like that in in English like that like of course we have to all the time and I have a hard time convincing my three-year-old of this. We have to do all the things that we don't want to do and I should I will say to Oran it's it's the monkey but we must do it. I don't know if that's like a technically a Polish phrase but I do know a Polish phrase that I like a lot.
Yeah what is it? When like there's something that's going on around you that like you have no part of and you just want to like distance yourself from it like in America we sometimes say I don't have a dog in that hunt. They will say not my circus not my monkeys. All of humanity.
Yeah I feel like needs the words not my circus not my monkeys tattooed on the inside of their wrist in their local language so that they could look at it all the time. You should not be allowed to tweet until you have written not my circus not my monkeys into Google. Right yeah that should unlock the tweet button. Is this my circus?
Is this my monkeys? You can ask yourself two questions before you tweet something. Johnny my answer is not my monkeys. Oh my god I love that.
Johnny my answer is some of the questions from our Alyssa Dars. Very much though this first question comes from Kevin who writes Dear John and Hank how close is the sky to the ground in a recent vlog brothers video John said of Indianapolis where the perpetually gray sky is extremely close to the ground which prompted me to wonder where the sky's lower limit is. I know the atmosphere just kind of thins out as you move away from earth but where does it stop being sky and just become the air around listen telling your overthinking this the sky in Indianapolis right now as I'm speaking to you is four inches above the ground when I stand up I am five feet nine inches in the sky. That's good John I disagree but that's good.
So this came to me via the great podcast Men in Blazers where the co-host of that podcast pointed out that although London and Liverpool are at essentially the same elevation the sky is far far closer to the ground in Liverpool and that is deeply true. I don't understand but I imagine if it is closer to the ground in Liverpool it would be even closer to the ground in Indianapolis. No it's not okay it's because some areas of the world Hank are so cloudy and the clouds never cease and they feel so oppressively low all the time that it feels as if the sky is close to the ground. Oh it's not like a literal thing it's not like a science thing it's an exponential thing.
Would you like to talk about it in science ways because I also think that it's very good. Sure tell me how close the sky is to the ground in science. Well there's two there's sort of like a couple of ways of looking at it. One is like when you look up at a blue sky like how far away is the blue and that's a really interesting question because the- Wait I gotta stop you I'm sorry what is a blue sky?
Yeah I'm not entirely sure myself these days so the atmosphere the majority of the atmosphere extends up about 16 kilometers and up there several like you know a dozen kilometers are up or so all of the Raleigh scattering but as turned the sky blue has happened and so that blue of the sky is up there pretty far away but clouds are also in the sky constantly in my case no one's gonna deny that and those are way lower than that usually and those clouds they're in the sky so if clouds are in the sky then sky goes all the way down and and we when we jump the sky is underneath us it is just the place where the weather is and that's everywhere because wind will hit you in the face this was actually Eric Sloan in the 40s described the sky as wherever the weather is and I think that's really sort of elegant until the cloud hits something it isn't the sky so when you're in the fog you are just as in the sky as you always are so we just walk around in the sky like a bunch of fish hanging out of the bottom of the water except that we can't swim to the top of the water because we're very heavy that's really mind-blowing and beautiful and it almost makes me not hate Indianapolis in winter yeah we're just like a bunch of crabs this next question comes from Brian who writes Dear John and Hank in a past episode John recommended a poem called The Palace by Kava Akbar I really liked it so I started reading more work by Akbar and I came across a line from Wild Pear Peach that perfectly captures how I experienced this time of year it's the first line of this poem Hank and it is a doozy it's been January for months in both directions oh it has been January for months in both directions hasn't it it's a long one yeah I love this idea but I have a terrible memory and I know that if I don't do something I'll lose it how do you keep the words and ideas that captivate you from slipping away you have big lists of everywhere you found and liked how would you organize them get busy living or get busy Brian it all it all was all worth it it was all worth it so Hank like how do you how do you remember for instance that in the 40s someone described the sky as where weather happens which is very beautiful and a thing I desperately want to hold on to but I've already forgotten who said it yeah no I have I had that written down for clarity that wasn't sitting around in the old conquer I I do like to memorize things but I never memorize lines of poetry and John you're always busting out like Bible verses poetry quotes from books just things some guy said I can't I never do that I could get you some song lyrics though I can serve those up steaming hot 100% accuracy and I like to memorize songs it's like doing a puzzle for me where I'm like I'm gonna sit down I'm gonna memorize this song it's I've done it ever since I was a kid and I have been criticized for it that it's like an impure way of enjoying music and to those people I say get off my porch not your circus not exactly if I've ever seen some not your monkeys it's how I enjoy music and to me that's like it's it's a task and it's something that I like I do and then I like work my way through the thing until I've memorized it I'm very afraid because I would like to someday be in a play but I'm very afraid of being in a play yeah and having memorize all those lines it is a it is yeah I cannot memorize lines and in fact I get I get really anxious when experiencing live theater because I'm worried that the actors will forget their lines yeah yeah and then we will all be in a shared uncomfortable situation which of course is my ultimately my biggest fear rundown shared to the comfort shared discomfort is being uncomfortable with other people and not being able to move to a comfortable place quickly yeah but as far as memorization goes I can't memorize song lyrics I also really don't memorize poetry that well I just butcher it like I just go through I'm pretty good at remembering how something sounds to me but it takes me a long time to not misquote something like for instance I quote a lot of Emily Dickinson poems but if you go back and watch some early vlogbrothers videos you'll notice that I also misquote a lot of Emily Dickinson poems I've just gotten better over the years because I'm like a better fact checker now yeah oftentimes John will begin quoting a poem on vlogbrothers and then he'll be like oh wait hold that let's cut I'm gonna look it up yes yeah yeah or on Dear Hank and John I do that to your Hank and John I'll be like mmm I'm not sure I have that one actually but one thing I do think works is writing them down I find writing down interesting ideas that I come across really helpful and I may not even ever refer to that stuff again it's just helpful to have written it down yeah saying it out loud also which I think why it's easier to do song lyrics because I think like it ties it to the experience of singing and if you are alone as a 12 year old in your bedroom and you're reading off the lyrics sheet from Edie Bracal and the New Bohemians and you're just like memorizing every line of the song then you're saying it out loud you're reading it you're writing it like that all that stuff gets stuck in your head and repetition like that's the big one is like you have to recognize that this is a task that is going I'm gonna spend a half an hour on memorizing this line at the end of it I will have it in my head but conceivably forever yeah this next question comes from Nina asks dear Hank and John it's a pretty personal question did you have any doubts on the day of your wedding memento marina I assume that John we've decided that we were allowed to answer this question because the answer is no I didn't have any doubts on the day of my wedding that's not to say that having doubts on the day of your wedding is a catastrophic sign or whatever that I shouldn't have like maybe it would have been healthier for me to be like let's think about this but I just didn't yeah right to be clear I had no idea what I was promising nor did my spouse yeah but no I I had a lot of anxiety I felt really nervous and I wanted everything to go well and like to be honest a big part of me wanted it to be over because it was a lot of social energy that I had to put out in the world that was intimidating yeah but I also you know I mean Sarah and I were together for a long time and we were engaged for a long time and well I've said this before I think but one of the most helpful things that we did and I mean I did not want to do it but one of the most helpful things we did was this weekend Catholic engaged encounter where we were forced to write each other a series of letters and have big discussions about what we wanted our future to be like and we learned so much in that in that weekend that we've been using for the last 15 years so yeah that helped too I think yeah I that is great I was also very nervous on the day of the wedding I did not anticipate that I would be I'm often surprised when I get nervous because unlike John and his doctor pointed out so eloquently you have to remember you're always worried you are always worried it was because I said that I was really worried about a symptom and she just put her hands but you are always yeah so that's not weird like that is that's not a good signal right I haven't learned anything from that sentence when you first started to come here I would be like oh he's worried but now I understand this in context but yeah you're totally right you don't get worried that much and so when you do get worried it's a big surprise to you and also like you kind of don't know what's happening I don't know what to do with it I'm like I feel very bad well I feel bad yeah I'm much more I'm more comfortable and I have more experience with worrying at this point in my life which is good to have had a ramp up because I think that no one gets to live without bad stuff happening but but I think like when I try and analyze the big life decisions that I have made that I like I wasn't didn't have doubts about this is how a life works I think that we both have to question these very harsh structures in life that like here's what you do you do this and you go to school when you go to college you get married you get chopped and like sort of like the the arc and like here's what you're supposed to do in this of life I think that we should both question those things but also lean into and indulge in them when they feel right and and that is not to say that any of those things are ever going to feel right for you but hopefully some of them will or something else will or something yeah I have had instincts in my life to avoid all of those things to never do any of them and so some of those things aren't gonna fit with me but some of them are and to some extent like I Catherine and I had been together for a long time and marriage seemed like ultimately an inevitability and that was good because it was it removed the stress of it it also it removed the big questions it removed the big like hanging like existential terror that I think comes along with really big decisions yeah I mean I might argue that that boils if you were to boil down what you just said it would boil down to Catherine and I have been together for a long time and we wanted to get married yeah but but I think that like we wouldn't have wanted to get married if the institution of marriage didn't exist I think that we you know having this institution was was a good thing because it will sort of let us know what the next step in our relationship was but it's not a next step for a lot of people yeah and you can have all kinds of long-term relationships and the one that we institutionalize is this romantic marriage but there are all other there are so many different kinds of lifelong sustaining relationships and I think that we haven't done enough to institutionalize the other ones you know like why like why haven't Chris and I had a commitment ceremony about being best friends yeah I think we should I think I got a good idea I think I would totally find anything else for that I know I think that the institutions are a little limiting or not a little I think they're extremely limiting the institutions have been way too narrow for way too long I agree that the institutions are too narrow I'm just glad that some of them exist man of all the like great turns in human history Hank Green turning toward ritual might be the biggest surprise of all like y'all did no Hank when he was like 16 oh god if 16 year old Hank heard with 39 year old Hank just said 16 year old Hank might murder 39 year old Hank and we'd be in some kind of we'd be in the future styles scenario yeah be a problem because I could see try to murder me but then I'm smarter and bigger than him so I probably went from an immediately vanish so I like that you said smarter and bigger but did not say smarter than strong all right we're gonna move on from a very short question with a very long answer to this question from Audrey who writes dear John and Hank so Mary Shelley kept her dead husband's calcified heart in a jar on her desk I'm not married but if I wanted to do this upon my spouse's death would I be allowed to what's the procedure for that and how weird would it be we're all gonna die Audrey okay Audrey I don't know the last part first it's very weird yeah it's very weird it's very no one currently does this Audrey here's the thing Mary Shelley also didn't do this okay Mary Shelley kept her husband's calcified heart in a jar in her desk that is an incredibly important deposition the difference between having someone's calcified heart on your desk and having someone's calcified heart in your desk is the difference between acceptable and unacceptable so as I assume it's in a jar it's not just like sitting there like flopping around on the desk my understanding and listen I am not an expert in Percy Shelley's calcified heart my understanding is that after Percy Shelley drowned when caught in a storm in 1822 by the way two other people also died nobody ever talks about them but anyway after Percy Shelley died his body was cremated and for some weird reason his heart did not burn oh uh if it's calcified um so this isn't something that like you would do after death so calcification is is a problem that will occur with some heart disease or with lung disease or tuberculosis they think it might have been from tuberculosis okay so Percy Shelley's friend Lee Hunt grabbed the heart out of the fire from the flames I think I think after the flame okay and eventually like had that common human decency to turn it over to Mary Shelley Mary Shelley then kept the heart and what it was you know that the span of time between this guy stealing her husband's heart and then being like you know what I don't know anyone's in this I don't know that span of time 30 years pass between Shelley's death and the discovery of the heart oh it's just in it it's just in the drawer my understanding is that for a long time Mary Shelley kept the calcified heart in kind of like a silk bandana gross and she like often kept it with her or near her for a long time but then eventually put it in a drawer in her desk where it remained until being discovered in 1852 at that time the heart was not I believe in a jar I believe it was wrapped in the pages of one of Percy Shelley's poems wow and then eventually the heart was buried alongside their son Percy Florence Shelley when he died in 1889 but the important thing here is that it was not on a desk okay that's weird that would be inappropriate I did a weird amount of research for this question John and what I can tell you is that they will not give you any part of your loved one so if you want a piece of your loved one after they die you're gonna have to get it from them before they die I'm really glad to know that yeah and probably I'm gonna suggest something like a lock of hair rather than so basically legally you're not allowed to have dead body parts yeah I think it boils down to it kind of not your monkey not your circus kind of situation like once it exists you can sort of trade it back and forth between people but getting a new one is apparently an iffy space well I'm glad to know that also to have your spouse have a calcified heart they would have to have something to calcify their heart so some kind of disease Hank all this talk about death makes me want to ask you an important question uh-huh I haven't asked you in two or three weeks oh do you have a will oh I have a draft of a will oh my god today's podcast is brought to you by Hanks will coming soon since 2013 and five guests is also brought to you by the 13 inches of sky under your feet when you jump because if you're me that's about as high as you can get I actually sounds great I would what I wouldn't give for 13 inch vertical leap today's podcast is additionally brought to you by Percy Shelley's calcified heart Percy Shelley's calcified heart in a desk not on a desk and also this podcast is brought to you by this monkey is it yours is this your monkey maybe just this not this episode of your Hank and John is brought to you by Shopify there are a lot of things that stand between I have an idea and this is an idea that actually exists in the world and people are buying things from me and that is what Shopify makes easier when you start with Shopify the tools to design and launch and take payments they're all there from day one you don't have to build a whole machine before you can start building the business and this is important because you also have to like look good and with Shopify's templates you could get a site set up really quick that looks credible and professional without needing to code or duct tape a bunch of different tools together and when things look real that works on my brain to be like I'm doing a real thing it also works on other people's brains to be like 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See website for more details. One thing I love about summer is how easy everything feels the days are a little more relaxed my kids don't have to wake up at five in the morning and I find myself reaching for the same comfortable go anywhere pieces again and again which is why I keep coming back to quince. I often wear either a long sleeve or a short sleeve button down from quince and it fits well and I never have any complaints in fact sometimes I get compliments about it I was at the airport a couple days ago I often find myself in airports and someone said I like your shirt and I said thanks it's from quince quince is 100% European linen pants and shirts are breathable easy to throw on in the summer upgrade your rotation needs starting at just 34 dollars their tees are soft enough to leave in all day and the lightweight cotton sweaters are exactly what you want when those summer nights cool down so that's why I'm wearing quince this summer and you can make your summer wardrobe easier by going to quince.com slash deer hank for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns now available in Canada too that's qunce.com for free shipping and 365 day returns quince.com slash deer hank this episode of deer hank and john is brought to you by factor imagine for a moment that you are absolutely immersed in some work where you're creating something beautiful or useful or useless and ugly but you love it anyway and you look up and suddenly you have a feeling and that feeling is that it is 2.30 p.m.
and you did not eat lunch what are you gonna do are you gonna get meal delivery that's gonna cost too much and maybe be a bit of a mistake or are you gonna go to the cupboard and just eat several fistfuls of peanuts because those are my two choices unless I have a factor in the fridge you can get smoky barbecue chicken breast with potato mash cream corn and peppers you can get creamy lemon pepper chicken with veggie rice peel off broccoli and carrots this has the fiber I need it has the protein I need and it has the deliciousness I need what about garlic herb roasted barramundi with potato zucchini and burr blanc sauce I don't really know what that means but it sounds delicious what about a black bean taco bowl with corn salsa and cilantro crema a delicious high fiber high protein meal that no animals had to die for any of those can be ready in two minutes fresh never frozen over 100 rotating weekly meals including globally inspired flavors like Mediterranean and Asian factor shops perhaps cooks and delivers straight to your door so you have more time for everything you love this spring head to factor meals dot com slash deer hank 50 off and use the code deerhank 50 off to get 50% off and free daily greens per box with new subscription only wild supplies last until 27th 2026 see website for more details just leave it might not be your monkey hey hey I have proposed a new segment here at deer hank and john yes you have as you know wow and the segment is instead of you reading bad million dollar ideas on twitter I pitch you properly good million dollar ideas and then at the end of this year one year from today we have to do one of them I love this stark reversal in our brotherhood well let's go over our million dollar ideas just for the record brotherhood 2.0 I pitched it the fault in our stars I wrote it that was not so you yeah those are my two big ones oh crash course all crash course it was it was yeah all right so anyway I you're great you're great you have had several wonderful amazing million dollar ideas yeah I have I have more ideas you have more good ideas I would argue we have the same number of good ideas I just have a higher percentage of good right right okay I see but that was before I had to come up with a million dollar idea every week for the next 52 weeks all right I can't wait to hear about this one I've got one if you don't okay you start no no this is your thing no I'll tell you about my half I don't know your million dollar idea it's not so absurd is it no okay everybody knows about that one already what is it plant wars oh my god plant wars is such a good idea Hank plant wars is a million dollar idea okay well I assume we're bringing real good ideas here we're not like messing around like saying like yeah park shoes no real ideas it's not bad idea it's not bad at all I kind of heart today no we're getting distracted plant wars is a much better idea here's the idea of plant wars yeah one pot two plants time-lapse photography yeah which plant wins yeah it's like the marble and picks except plants and and such a good idea yeah am I wrong about what a good idea it is I well I guess so because I like when I pitch it I'm enthusiastic and everyone in the room is like blank faces I want to know wood kudzu right beat a tomato plant you you have to set up a bracket like you have to have what is it called in basketball when there's the 32 teams it's called March Madness yeah you do a March Madness I thought about this bunch and there's there has to be strategy that the plants have because otherwise there's no good color commentary and you need somebody who's doing commentary on this thing I mean you could almost make it like a battle bots thing where one person picks one plant the other person picks another plant you can interview the people in advance about why they think they're gonna go well and then interview them afterwards about how it went or just interview a plant oh that's a great idea that's it that's it interview the plants about why they feel confident going in yeah or be like you're up against kudzu it's not looking great and they'll be like even if we're not the winning team we will be the best team yeah that's like I recently heard someone say I've everton football club with the best football club in the world just not on the field exactly yes like we're the best plant in the world just not in the pot yeah and so you basically you hire good improv people to play the role of the plants I mean this is this is the problem with this idea is that it costs about 1.2 million dollars to make the million dollars I feel like you could do plant wars pretty cheap but frankly that's the kind of businesses that we're looking to get into right now right we just want to pay creative people to make great things we want to get weird we want more weird okay I mean we are off to a roaring start with plant wars idea one of our 52 million dollar ideas is a stone cold guaranteed million yeah idea 0.5 fart shoes also not bad I already like this better than using people on twitter's million ideas let's answer some more questions from our listeners oh I wanted to hear your million dollar idea you know what I mean wait a week i'm gonna save it for next week i'm not gonna unnecessarily generate million dollar ideas this next question comes from Ashley who asked steer handker john it's also because i don't scream suddenly in the middle of the podcast which i have received feedback from people that it's not great for their sleep Ashley asked steer handker john i'm stuck in my car because of the skunk advice i think there's two situations here one is that the skunk is right outside the door and won't move in which case honking a horn should work and all that's gonna happen is that your car is gonna stink or drive away right go to a second location that's actually now that i think about it that's the best here's the situation you are in a car it is a skunk you're surrounded by two thousand pounds of steel the real question is what is the skunk gonna do this is a bag of mostly water yeah all right good job great answer Hank what's the second scenario you said that was the first one the second scenario is obviously that the skunk is inside and it has a switchblade and won't let you out the second the second scenario is that the skunk is inside the car yeah and if the skunk is inside the car i think the solution is as simple as driving away the solution is you c to the car to the skunk yeah and hopefully the skunk leaves the car you leave one of the doors open hopefully the skunk leaves the car without incident the car smells a little bit skunky people get in your car they think you've been smoking marijuana and then you have to explain that you have to explain that you have a actual skunk in the car and then but if the skunk of course sprays in the car then you are out of car yeah i mean yeah you could wait until the skunk sprays to just give give up but my inclination to be totally honest would be to see the car at the skunk exit the car call my car insurance company and say listen you've got a problem specifically you've got to get me a new car yeah you insured a car that currently has a skunk that was you that's all you're gonna do oh this next question comes from Meredith who asks dear Hank and John how do i properly use the phrases it's all uphill from here and it's all downhill from here this is a great question john because it's all downhill from here that feels like that's it's good not that everything will be easy from here on out but then also downhill is down it's down seems bad my basic understanding of mountaineering hank is that like every major expedition begins with four people getting out of like a 1992 Volvo 240 yeah putting on some backpacks and like then climbing up a Himalayan mountain right because that's like your own experience of the time you went hiking exactly and then when they get to the top of the mountain you know the first thing they announce is well it's all downhill from here it's all downhill from here there's literally no more mountain yeah and that's a positive connotation right well the thing is i think that it's i think that we had this phrase it's all downhill from here and then some people started saying it's all uphill from here as if that was also a good thing i think they both mean everything is going to be better from now on yeah and up just feels better because like oh it's up up is good up is better i'd rather be up the down all the poop goes down and i'd like to go away from that then you have all downhill because that's just easier to walk down though with my knees these days maybe it isn't but they both basically mean everything's going to be all right even though they are opposites of each other so that is not my experience of it's all uphill from here when someone says to me it's all uphill from here i think like oh so all the hard parts are still to come right which maybe i've been completely misinterpreting people saying that it will be it will suck until it's done yeah maybe people are trying to reassure me but what they're what they're communicating to me is this is about to be miserable until it is over like like right before i began my colonoscopy prep i could imagine somebody saying to me it's all uphill from here it really isn't it really it doesn't ever yeah it's pretty bad the whole time it's not great but i will say as somebody who's gotten a variety of colonoscopies over almost 20 years now it's gotten so much better and it has yeah and i feel like the the prep freaks people out and it's and it's resulted in lots of people not getting colonoscopies and you should still get one it's not that bad yes i find it easier and easier every time indeed me too you know what i just realized i think my doctor all those years ago might might have been saying it is your monkey but you must do it like the opposite of not my first not my circus when you she was letting me know that this was my monkey this is your monkey this is your circus this you know right many things are not your monkey but this unfortunately is yeah but the part from where your small intestine ends to where your large intestine ends like that's your circuit buddy all right before we get to the all important news from ours in afc Wimbledon i have to give you an important update hank okay you'll recall that we heard from a listener who's i believe grandparent had a 40 year old bird in the back of the freezer that had been in the freezer for 40 years right well fortunately we have heard from a scientific taxiderm page writes to say dear john and hank i do scientific taxiderm me for texas a&m stop bragging page that's the coolest sentence i've ever come across i haven't heard a sentence in that cool sense i don't know the last time i heard a sentence that cool i want to be able to write the sentence i do scientific taxiderm me for texas a&m anyway page also writes i've worked on birds that have been in the freezer for four years it's tricky birds that have been in the freezer for ten plus years the skin gets freezer burned onto the remaining flesh and is impossible to remove i don't even want to think about the amount of freezer burn on a 40 year old bird throw it away i think we are all on the same page here page oh you're so right so there you go you've heard from a a scientific taxidermist at texas a&m university who says throw that bird away throw that bird away there's an expert john yeah the news from ours is exciting the finalists have been announced for the name the rover contest so it's march 2020 rover it's gonna go to mars and just like curiosity it is going to have a name and it's going to be named after a human trait and they solicited k-12 students to submit their names along with the short essay about why they chose it they received before you tell me what the final start can i give you some of my ideas yeah oh please oversharing that's a human trait yes needless anxiety the mars and needless anxiety rover i feel like the needless anxiety rover would be perfect because that is what i experience the whole time from the moment of liftoff yeah the moment that thing like says hello yeah i'm experiencing a bunch of anxiety about a situation i cannot control it's very uncontrollable it's very scary it's terrible i can't yeah sports is bad enough rovers uh cannot very stressful selfishness posing as selflessness that's another suggestion okay good all right what are the finalist none of those were in in the finalists but you should have written an essay john i'm sure that they wouldn't have well apparently you had to be a k-12 students so what are they uh 28 000 submissions and forty seven hundred volunteer judges selected some finalists great uh and were narrowed down to nine finalists and here they are endurance can i rate them as well okay endurance seven tenacity promise seven perseverance i just i like the idea but i've never liked the word three vision no clarity that's a hard no the mars clarity rover no ingenuity seven or seven or seven point five maybe okay fortitude no we can't have the mars fortitude rover it's not new as bad as clarity five courage is the final one i feel like courage is gonna win but it's i like endurance or fortitude but then i would those values i like to lift up uh so those are those are the final left what do you like i don't i don't dislike clarity nearly as much as you do i think that that's nice it's like hey we're gonna know more about mars we need some clarity here this place is confusing i guess i just don't think of clarity as a human trait yeah promise is also weird because it doesn't sound like a trait but then it is it's like oh i see what you mean because when i hear promise i think like the thing that i make not the thing that i have well the thing to be clear the thing that you had when you were younger um i don't know i don't know what i i did vote but i've forgotten what i voted for but you john also cannot vote because voted closed on january 27th i'm sorry uh it did not coincide well with the editorial schedule of of uh deer hand control well that's all right so uh i'm very excited to found out i find out what the name is going to be i'm very excited to start calling it that instead of the mars 2020 rover and a special shout out to clara ma the student who named the mars rover curiosity in 2009 oh i wonder what clares up to these days probably cool things probably cool things all right the news from afc Wimbledon is yeah it's not great we played ackengton stanley which is one of the teams that's at the bottom of the table with us mmm they're one of the smaller budget clubs in league one and i mean it's the kind of game that we really should be winning or tying but we didn't we didn't win or tie it instead we lost it two to one which was made more infuriating by the fact that almost the entire second half we had 11 players to their 10 and somehow still only managed one shot on target in the game oof which is it's just not it's not great i'm sorry the good news if you can say that there's good news is that as you'll recall only three teams are being relegated from league one this season and two of them seem much much worse than us and one of them tranmere rovers seems at least this point significantly worse than us like our goal difference is negative eight for the season tranmere's goal difference is negative 20 so okay i'm fine i would i would take i would bite your hand off for 20th place right now i mean that 20th place is perfect i think that's where we finished last season it's a great it's ideal i let's just end the season now yeah no i'm sure that you would like to end the season now while you're not in a rather relocation also i'd like to end the season now on on behalf of liver pool it's just everything's gone well yeah but yeah so currently uh Wimbledon are sitting in 20th place in league one the last spot outside of the relegation zone but i will remind you that in terms of where you play your football next season 20th is as good as eighth absolutely and you i assume we'll make more money in this league to help you pay for your stadium yes speaking of which the club has launched a fan bond so fans of the club can loan money to the club and actually like get an interest payment and they're using that uh to finance the building of the stadium instead of a loan from a bank which would come with a much higher interest rate and also potentially lots of other onerous issues and uh yeah i i have never owned more of a fc Wimbledon hank oh gosh thank you for potting with me even in my slightly diminished thank thank you to everybody for listening this podcast is edited by the brilliant Joseph Tuna Metis it's produced by Rosie on house rojas and sharid and Gibson our head of community and communications is still victoria bonjourno although she is leaving and we will miss her so so much and the music that you're listening to right now and if beginning of the podcast is by the great gunerola lastly as they say in our hometown don't forget to be awesome