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It's a podcast where two brothers answer your questions, give you to be a advice and bring you all the weeks news from both Mars and AFC Wimbledon. John. I don't know if you know that but I recently read some news article said that there was bipartisan support in Congress for the use of medical marijuana to treat arthritis and the headline said joint support for joint supporting joint support. That's pretty good.
It reminds me of a line from Ulysses by James Joyce. James Joyce, another another huge fan of dad jokes. There's so many dad jokes in Ulysses but one of them is the sentence love loves to love love which I just I've always thought it's great. Oh God boy it's very true.
It's so true. Yeah it's really true. And I choose to feel good about love. Yeah but you don't want to love love too much.
I don't want to love love that just hits you know I know about positive feedback loops. I know where they lead. Yeah there's only one good positive feedback loop and that's birth. That truly spoken like a man.
When I asked Sarah to describe the birth process she doesn't begin Well first off it's a positive feedback loop. Hank what you may hear my kids in the background and that's because I'm recording at home and if you do hear them in the background and it's annoying I just want you to remember that it is not the biggest annoyance of your week because everything is different and worse. And John I just wanted you to hear any background noise in my audio. That's just the constant humming of my fear and anxiety.
Oh no I'm sorry I can't hear that hum over the hum of my own. Hank before we get started can I tell you another dad joke from Ulysses is my favorite one. I'm not gonna be able to stop you. Well by the way welcome to what it's like for me every week.
There's a moment where you know how Shakespeare's wife was named Anne Hathaway. This is the best kind of dad joke because it involves a lot of backstory. I did not know that Shakespeare's wife was named Anne Hathaway. In fact I don't know that I believe you.
Is that real? Yes Anne Hathaway is the name of Shakespeare's wife and also when Shakespeare died in his will he left Anne Hathaway his quote second best bed which is one of those things that's been debated throughout history. Like was this a sentimental choice or some kind of punishment. Anyway in reference to Shakespeare's wife in James Joyce's Ulysses is the following sentence if others have their will Anne Hathaway.
Oh wow. Oh boy and now if I was reading Ulysses if you hadn't told me that I would think he was talking about the actress. John do you want to do some questions from our listeners? I just want to listen to the hum of my own anxiety but I guess we can answer some questions.
Maybe our anxieties will there's two things that can happen with waves. They can either cancel each other out and you can go totally even or they amplify each other. So I'm sure that we'll get the first one. This is from Isabel who asks steer Hank and John what happens to ducks when they die?
Not like heaven just where do they go? Thanks Isabel. You know I heard I heard this in my first thought was the ducks who love them will miss them. Oh like what Keanu said like what Keanu said so hopefully that is the case that the ducks who love the dead ducks will miss the dead ducks and I assume that that is the case but John I did a little bit of research on what happens to ducks when they die and it's not super surprising.
Do you any guesses? Do they become corpses? Well yes they continue to be made of matter. So the first thing that happens is that their little duck souls leave their little duck bodies but then what's the second thing that happens?
Well oftentimes their little ducks soul leaves their little duck body and the moment they are being swallowed by another animal. That's how I've always wanted to go back in that case the ducks go in a pretty specific place and then they have a sort of end up in a similarly specific place and that's mostly where the ducks end up to be honest like sometimes it's because the duck is feeling sick and the duck goes and hides somewhere and then the duck never comes out of that hiding spot until something comes and pulls it out because the duck is made of food still and sometimes the duck does not make it to the hiding spot and is just consumed right then and there and in that case so like in both of these situations you don't often come across the duck because something else with more interest in locating a dead duck or a duck that will soon be dead has already found it. I had a very weird experience today involving a duck. That's I am legitimately surprised.
Tell me I was walking in the woods and I saw a duck flying which is very common. Yes and then I saw the duck land and perch on a tree branch up high in the tree. Oh that is weird and I thought that's weird. I have to take a picture of this and then go home and google it but of course when you take a picture of a duck in a distant tree it mostly looks like a blob.
That could be anything. I went home and I googled duck in tree question mark and this is how good google is now. Google was like you saw a wood duck. That's a kind of duck that likes doing that.
That's why we call them wood ducks. Oh I thought it was because they looked like they were carved out of wood because they really do look like they were carved out of wood and like painted. I love a wood duck. I do too and apparently we have them right here in Indianapolis.
So are you sure that you saw a wood duck or did you just like or is it just another sign of the end? No I'm positive that I saw a wood duck because then alongside this explanation there were pictures of the wood duck and I was like oh yeah that's the one that's kind of like a regular duck which in the United States is a mallard but it has a very bright white stripe on its side at least the males do and this was a male and I was like yeah now I have my explanation so there you go. Is it a wood duck? They perch.
I'm looking at a picture of a wood duck perching right now and his eyes are saying to me I am just gonna do duck stuff today all day and maybe tomorrow I'll do duck stuff too and that sounds really nice to me right now. I'm just gonna do duck stuff consistently until all at once an alligator eats me and then I'll stop doing duck stuff. That's right yeah that might be the solution. Yeah no I mean there's a lot to learn from ducks John.
Do you want to do another question? Not really I just want to stick with this duck thing for a while longer and see how deep we can take it like do ducks know the secret of the universe and the secret of the universe is just to do duck stuff while you may. Yeah well this I tell Aaron a story about this sometimes at night when he's like sometimes he the little boy in his stories will meet animals who talk but sometimes he will meet animals who just do their thing and he's like what are you doing today butterfly and then the butterfly says I'm doing butterfly things and the little boy is like well of course but like what specifically and the butterfly is like butterfly things yeah just being a butterfly today and you know I mean poo taught us this poo bear poo bear knows all about this I love poo bear and sometimes poo bear is referred to as not very smart in the poo books and I'm like that is not at all the vibe I get from poo the vibe I get is that like poo knows exactly what to do at any given moment which is a which is definitely a kind of genius that I aspire to constantly and have never even approached. That reminds me I've seen on the internet the last few days that you know that wonderful picture of Winnie the Pooh and Piglet walking in the woods together and it says promise me you'll always remember it you're braver than you believe and stronger than you seem and smarter than you think yeah I've been seeing it but instead of that caption it just says six feet stay the back piglet because we need to keep six feet at this end six six feet six feet six feet well that's also important though I'm not entirely sure that piglets can get it but you don't know because tigers can oh right yeah I forgot that tigers oh boy that was discouraging to learn yeah I assume the tiger will be okay here's the hum that my anxiety makes it's like yeah it's up there yeah it's like a high note but it's slightly flat yeah I think there's like there's something that's like distantly harmonizing with it too so there's like more than one at the same time there's like me and then like like way down low there's like a whir to yeah yeah I've got like a 17 note right harmony happening but it's just like one of those chords that that jazz musicians know but no one else does I was gonna say it's more like a Stravinsky ballet up in here there's a lot going on I'd like it could be worse honestly I mean it could be Hank believe me this next question comes from Aaron who writes dear John and Hank during this time of crisis I feel the need to ask Hank do you have a will oh did you complete the task pumpkins and penguins Aaron thank you for writing in to remind my brother oh that despite literal years of my nagging and and now being a middle-aged person he somehow thinks it is okay to skate through this world without a will which will do nothing but torture and complicate the lives of his I know I know I know I don't think it's okay John I've been having this problem and this is a problem I have with many different endeavors it's when I when I have an idea for a thing that is so good but I can't make it real without a significant amount of work and I know that you need to do the the will in the normal legal way but I also want to have a rap battle version of my will yeah and I don't want to do one without the other because if I just get the normal legal one I won't do the rap battle version and if I don't do the rap battle version I won't feel like I'm sort of yeah fulfilling my destiny as a creator you know yeah and so it's really held me back like this vision of being able to perform a rap battle of my will so that it can be you know the video can be released by the executor at the you know at the meeting that they seem to always have in the movies when the will gets read two questions yes as a potential beneficiary yep not just of the rap battle although I would consider myself along with the rest of the world a beneficiary of your last will and testament via rap battle but also as a potential beneficiary of some of your assets yeah first do you know what a rap battle is and if so who are you battling oh it's me versus me oh so I play two different character versions of me and we like argue over who gets what oh that sounds really exciting yeah yeah because you don't know until like it's long too it's gonna like I worked on it like I got five minutes of it done yeah but I want to be like like 10-15 minutes long and so like you're sort of like on edge the whole time right about which one of the hanks is gonna succeed in being the one who gives give the money away that reminds me of when I met with my wills in a state lawyer for the first time and I was like listen man I want to have a weird will I don't want to have one of these regular wills where you give everything to your kids and all that stuff yeah I want to have a weird will right I want half of my assets to go toward buying billboards that advertise my novels I want to buy billboards for at least 400 years 400 years of billboards to advertise my books I like that because 400 years from now the last billboard in the world will be your book and all the rest of them will stop existing because we will move past billboards I like yeah I want I want a will where it's like okay so I'm gonna need 500 jars that's like the first line of the will yeah like what you say to the lawyer I mean 500 jars and they're like I don't I don't like the way this is going you're like give me you work for me give me 500 jars yeah I so I feel so I feel the same urge that you feel it must be genetic to have a really properly capital I interesting will like William Shakespeare did where you leave your right your second best bed to your wife and everybody debates why you did that and all that jazz but then when I met with the lawyer he sighed openly and then said you know a lot of people want weird wills but you know what you actually want a normal will because like when you have a weird will it makes problems for the people who are grieving your loss and it doesn't use them if you want to have like an amusing part yeah that isn't essential to the actual will part of the will that's fine right so what I would say is yes by all means I cannot wait for your magnum opus rap battle last will and testament but make the legal document very uncomplicated everything right right well maybe that'll be like there'll be two wills one will be the real will and one will be the normal one and the rap battle will be about which will is gonna be real and it's like I've got 500 jars yes I do and then the other guy can do a line that rhymes with that oh god I hope it's not that bad if that's your rapping I would retire the rap battle idea of post-haste yeah I'll hire somebody great idea to be like so I'm gonna have to spend most of my money having jz perform my last will and put them at rap battle yeah so let's just take that off the top there's a lot less left sorry my bad but look jz I had a dream and the dream came true but I didn't get to see it come true yeah I'm like Moses reaching the promised land John this next question comes from Megan who asks dear Hank and John I am near sighted and I often wear glasses when I look at a mirror close up without glasses the background is all blurry but I'm confused because the mirror is right there it's very close to me and it must be reflecting the room clearly so why can't I see everything in the mirror clearly when I'm right up against the mirror I've been wondering this for 10 years please help not a fox or its trainer Megan I see what you did there oh it took me a second John you I thought of the question did you want to say to think about it yeah I know why this is oh there's two reasons oh first off things that are reflected in a mirror at a distance do get blurry eventually because mirrors are not perfect but that is not the reason in your particular case makin no in your particular case the reason is that even though your eyes are close to the mirror what your eyes are looking at is far away and I know that's I know that's weird but that's true so yeah so you got to imagine a mirror isn't it's not like a picture a mirror is a window into what is behind you I mean what is in front of it that's you're like you're looking through the mirror at what is in front of the mirror which is pretty cool now that I'm thinking about it that was a really beautiful sentence when you said that when you look at a mirror you're really looking at a window of what's behind you that's lovely I'm gonna steal that well it's too bad because I'm I have a manuscript right in front of me literally that I'm touching right now and I can get it into mind faster than you can get it going in the next episode of the Anthropocene no no no I'm sorry 91 days of publication that's too soon I'm recording it tomorrow and it's and I'm gonna say it not only like I thought it up but I'm gonna say it like super seriously Anthropocene-reviewed style right where I'm like mmm really if you think about it a window now is now I already messed it up really if you think about it a mirror in some ways it's just a window into what the mirror is seeing I like it what's behind you really if you think about it a mirror is just a window into what's behind you do you ever think about the fact that we like very publicly and very intentionally have different ways of being yeah and that people know about that yeah and that it's not weird I think it is weird for some people I think for people who really like and follow our work it's not that weird because they know that those multiple sides of us exist and they right they see the cracks in the various facades you know but it is a little weird and sometimes people will write in to the Anthropocene-reviewed and they'll be like I thought you were funny why are you so sad meanwhile I think the Anthropocene-reviewed is funny so like that's yeah yeah yeah yeah that tells you something that's the disconnection I guess but yeah your journey to the microcosmos voice could not be more different from your dear Hank and John voice it's so fun yeah I just love narrating journey to the microcosmos it's like a dream yeah if you're not familiar by the way with journey to the microcosmos Hank just very calmly narrates what's going on while we watch high definition video microscopy of like tiny organisms doing their thing and it is such a good program like I want to watch it on Netflix I want it to be 30 minutes long I love everything about it yeah I also want it to be on Netflix and I have no one has yet expressed any interest in in my shouting that that should be a thing but I don't know man well I'm sure somebody who works at Netflix is listening to dear Hank and John right now and is like huh we need some uh single camera socially distant recorded kind of programming maybe journey to the microcosmos is the way forward yeah read rehastings the email dresses Hank and John at gmail.com we are awaiting your question which reminds me this podcast is brought to you by socially distant productions of television programs something that Hank and John are actually really good at an experience then maybe this will come in handy today's podcast is also brought to you by Megan's mirror Megan's mirror we only sort of answered your question podcast is also brought to you by my last will and testament I'm gonna give you estimates oh no no panic I've had a really bad week but that was the worst part of it and of course today's podcast is also brought to you by James Joyce's dad jokes James Joyce's dad jokes but pervy we also have a project for awesome message from the folks at Harry Potter in the sacred text oh hi Hank and John we have news from Hogwarts after years of complaints Hogwarts is finally hiring a guidance counselor they're doing a wide search to find the right fit for the job so if you have experience with victims of abusive teachers peeping Tom ghosts and the occasional child army please email the headmaster who is taking this search very seriously nevelongbottom at Hogwarts.uk or send an owl to the greenhouse Harry Potter in the sacred text continues to be one of my very favorite things that has ever happened in this universe it's so good I have to say that the co-host Kasper Tchaikal has a book coming out called the power of ritual which is super relevant right now because it's about how do we use the power of ritual to strengthen our new kinds of communities our secular communities whether that's you know your crossfit community or the online communities that you're part of like how can we make these communities stronger it's a really good book it is it has deeply changed the way that I think about that stuff and I really recommend it plus it's a great time for reading yeah while I'm recommending books I should say too that my wife Sarah Euryst Green has a book coming out tomorrow as we are uploading this it's called you are an artist it is also a wonderful book for this moment because it contains lots of creativity prompts and art assignments to get you making stuff and also get you making stuff with people you love whether that is your children or this episode of your Hank and John is brought to you by Shopify there are a lot of things that stand between I have an idea and this is an idea that actually exists in the world and people are buying things from me and that is what Shopify makes easier when you start with Shopify the tools to design and launch and take payments they're all there from day one you don't have to build a whole machine before you can start building the business and this is important because you also have to like look good and with Shopify's templates you could get a site set up really quick that looks credible and professional without needing to code or duct tape a bunch of different tools together and when things look real that works on my brain to be like I'm doing a real thing it also works on other people's brains to be like this is legitimate Shopify also has one of the best checkout systems on the internet it's built to help customers finish the purchase effectively and efficiently without a bunch of roadblocks returning customers can check out with a single click that means less friction and fewer abandoned carts and a smoother experience for everybody that stuff gives you confidence early on and it gives other people confidence in what you're doing you're not wondering whether the payment system is going to work you're not wondering whether customers can get through the process Shopify handles that foundation so you can focus on the thing that you're actually trying to do it's really kind of amazing to me the Shopify as a tool that works from the first day your store launches when you're just starting to get customers all the way up to being the size of good.store or dftba.com or being the size of like Mattel and Gymshark when you build a Shopify you're building with tools that already work at every scale all you need is the idea Shopify handles the rest you can start your free trial at Shopify.com slash deer hank start your free trial Shopify.com slash deer hank with new subscription only while supplies last until September 27th 2026 see website for more details one thing I love about summary is how easy everything feels the days are a little more relaxed my kids don't have to wake up at five in the morning and I find myself reaching for the same comfortable go anywhere pieces again and again which is why I keep coming back to quince I often wear either a long sleeve or a short sleeve button down from quince and it fits well and I never have any complaints in fact sometimes I get compliments about it I was at the airport a couple days ago I often find myself in airports and someone said I like your shirt and I said thanks it's from quince quince's 100% European linen pants and shirts are breathable easy to throw on in the summer upgrade your rotation needs starting at just 34 dollars their tees are soft enough to live in all day and the lightweight cotton sweaters 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This episode of deer hank is brought to you by factor imagine for a moment that you are absolutely immersed in some work where you're creating something beautiful or useful or useless and ugly but you love it anyway and you look up and suddenly you have a feeling and that feeling is that it is 2.30 p.m. and that you did not eat lunch what are you gonna do are you gonna get meal delivery that's gonna cost too much and maybe be a bit of a mistake or are you gonna go to the cupboard and just eat several fistfuls of peanuts because those are my two choices unless I have a factor in the fridge you can get smoky barbecue chicken breast with potato mash cream corn and peppers you can get creamy lemon pepper chicken with veggie rice peel off broccoli and carrots this has the fiber I need it has the protein I need and it has the deliciousness I need what about garlic herb roasted barramundi with potato zucchini and burr blanc sauce I don't really know what that means but it sounds delicious what about a black bean taco bowl with corn salsa and cilantro crema a delicious high fiber high protein meal that no animals had to die for any of those can be ready in two minutes fresh never frozen over a hundred rotating weekly meals including globally inspired flavors like Mediterranean and Asian factors shops perhaps cooks and delivers straight to your door so you have more time for everything you love this spring head to factor meals calm slash deer hank 50 off and use the code deerhank 50 off to get 50 off and free daily greens per box with new subscription only while supplies last until September 27th 2026 see website for more details friends and family so you are an artist check it out john this next question comes from abby who asks deerhank and john my partner gave me a raised garden bed for the deck of our house for Christmas and I haven't decided what to plant in it yet should I go for herbs I'm kind of picky and don't actually enjoy the flavor of most herbs I could go for vegetables like cucumbers and then get really into making bougie pickles that seems like something I would do abby abby you you actually wrote a longer email than this but you said in the middle of your email and I quote I could go for vegetables like cucumbers and then get really into making bougie pickles that seems like something I would do why are you writing into your favorite advice podcast first off I guess abby's second favorite advice podcast I think we all know what our first favorite advice podcast is secondly a lot of times when you have a question you realize mmm wall asking it yeah just through the act of writing it down what the solution is absolutely true and the solution for abby's right is making bougie pickles which is wonderful I also make bougie pickles I highly recommend it and we've done it pink we've solved someone's problem which there's god knows I don't do most weeks yeah and we have access to the internet which will tell you all about how to make bougie pickles and like maybe you'll make a couple bad batches of pickles be careful don't poison yourself but the best part of making bougie pickles not that I've ever done this is that you get to buy something called a furkin yeah and I just if you can have a hobby that means you get to buy something called a furkin and like you would enjoy that hobby do it abby get a furkin I don't even know what a furkin is but I like I know that pickle firkins are a thing and I want you to have one maybe I should just get you one right now don't please don't call up america's supply chain right now with furkin delivery all right all right sure turns out I don't even know how to spell furkin john do you have a furkin I don't really know what you're referring to it's like a old bucket it's like a bucket from but like old for pickles it's a pickle bucket oh yeah I mean no I don't have one yes I do know what you're referring to okay we call it in the midwest or at least I've always called it a pickle pot oh cute yeah all right we have another question this was from Audrey who writes dear john and hank I'm a librarian and currently we are closed per cdc guidelines thankfully I'm in a great county that is paying us and allowing us to work from home and not laying anybody off but my boss gave us one direction to follow while we are home learn something new because we won't be able to afford outside presenters for the next year so what do I learn so far I've been learning spanish that's kind of watch the history of women in dungeness and dragons and I've taken a seven hour course on conspiracy theories Audrey I like two of those things better than third I'm not going to tell you which one I don't like as much okay I am assuming that the seven hour course on conspiracy theory is all about how they form how to spot them and how to interface with a reality in which people are believing conspiracy theories which is one something that people should go see a presentation on and two is a great public service for a library to provide and so yeah I think that understanding conspiracy theories and how they function is great but in addition to that pickle making seems like people are interested that's all I'm saying I would say Audrey that so far as I could tell from your email just like our previous question asker you're crushing it in three weeks you've learned a new language and an entire history of the Dungeons and Dragons universe I can't wait to see what you do in the next three weeks yeah just keep your mind open it seems like it's certainly not closed I feel like all I've accomplished in the last four weeks is like a pretty deep clean of all of our toilets I mean that's not nothing John good on you that and a lot of laundry that's also great yeah but that's it like it is so time consuming I just find this whole experience extremely time consuming yeah there's there doesn't be two camps there are the people who are bored and there are the people who have kids yeah especially school age kids I think yeah I saw an article today I think the headline was how to be an effective homeschool parent while also working full time and the body of the article was like no yeah I wanted to be like no obviously not like you cannot be all things all the time you just can't there isn't nearly enough time in the day there's just there's not time yeah so the work of all the people who make schools work hopefully we're going to appreciate that more after this this next question is from Emily who asks dear hankan johnson's being in lockdown I've been on a lot of video calls and on two separate occasions with two different friends I've been told that my room maybe is a little haunted sometimes I leave my camera on while I leave the room briefly and apparently when I'm gone my laptop shakes a lot and stuff in the background moves like my door I dismissed this of course originally but then I've got to think and what if it is a ghost that's potentially someone else to hang out with during this period I'm desperate for human contact but I will also accept ghost contact if needed Emily asks is there any way I could make my room seem more possessed so I can prank my friends slash and not said but is there any way I can invite a ghost into my life because at this point at least they're not going to make you sick wait are we sure wait oh I don't know tigers can get it I know what if ghosts can get it well just ghosts can get it oh my god imagine doing all the hard work of socially isolating only to have a ghost give it to you right we're just like we finally get contract tracing online and it doesn't slow down coronavirus but it does tell us where the ghosts are I think I sense a plot for Ghostbusters three it's really boring and sad but it's where the ghostbusters movies haven't gone yet right to an Oscar-baity drama place with like really hard science yeah right statistics yes yes and a lot of statistical modeling happening that's the kind of drama that I'm looking for the guy from sideways like like quivering at his computer and being like no one will believe me but the ghosts are transmitting coronavirus I'm trying to think of which guy from sideways you could be referring to are you referring to Paul Giamatti yeah I mean he's always the angry scientist in those movies I feel personally hurt that you referred to Claudia Mottie as the guy from sideways what's he most famous for first off he's most famous for being Paul frickin Giamatti hank like he's somebody you know by name it's like it's like the equivalent of saying you know the guy from hamlet shake spear yeah yeah he was in Fred Claus sure he was in I mean first off he made Fred Claus like he is the reason Fred Claus didn't suck as nearly as much as it could have sucked secondly I mean American splendor 12 years of slave Cinderella man the guy has been in more Oscar winning movies maybe than anyone alive on earth well I'm glad for him but he was he was that guy in San Andreas he was the scientist in San Andreas and that's what I was thinking about another great movie it was I've seen that I don't know why but I have seen that movie like four times was like on TV during a period when I was stuck in a hotel room or something what was the question of course goes goes goes there's no ghost there's good news bad news there are no ghosts you're alone in your apartment I'm sorry well or the thing is like we've never video conference this much ever so maybe ghosts are only visible through video conference but only when you're not in the room so maybe we need to turn on our video conference software just leave it on and maybe the ghosts will start talking to each other and they'll finally be like ah my centuries of solitude are over Hank we've received many tales of the various challenges of being confined to relatively small spaces as so many of us have been over the last month but this one from Lydia might have been the one that I found the most personally distressing she wrote Dear John and Hank I have four siblings and I'm by far the youngest all of my siblings I have long-term boyfriends or girlfriends and due to the quarantine they are all at my house hmm wow as a 14 year old I'm incredibly awkward so when my sister casually starts passionately kissing her boyfriend I have no idea in the whole world what to do oh god Lydia this is not a function of you being 14 or incredibly awkward oh this is your fault now yep no John could you imagine passionately kissing someone in front of me and I mean I can't imagine passionately kissing anyone in front of anywhere this is such a rare and uncomfortable scenario that I remember the one time it happened to me oh yeah yeah which was my cousin I won't say her name but you know who you are she had a boyfriend and I was like playing video games and she was just like on the couch making out with him and I was like but the video game machine is in here and you can do that anywhere totally an outlet this just requires the two of you yeah any physical space in this house is available to you and I have just the one place to play the video game yeah Lydia I think you've got to say to your older sibling y'all can't make out in front of me or or here's my thought Lydia you have to search to see if there is a false panel in front of an old fireplace that you can remove and then crawl into and replace so that you can have some space that is your own where there is zero percent chance of anything besides maybe bats kissing Lydia it is hard to be much younger than the people you have to scold and correct but in this situation it's time I think you have to be like um I'm here hello it's me Lydia please cease and desist yeah you need to get you need to contact a lawyer papers for you very simple very simple legal language of a cease and desist order yeah and then make it into a rap battle yeah Lydia have you thought about writing a rap battle to be performed by two versions of you neither of which approve of what is going on yeah one of them is polite and one of them is not Hank before we get to the all important news from Mars and AFC Wimbledon I want to read this comment that came from Davis who wrote Dear John and Hank while listening to episode 232 of your podcast I was struck by John's ability to cry and continue talking while crying he mentioned that he would start crying and then kept telling a story I find that if I need to cry words cannot physically form in my mouth and I end up just blowing snot bubbles and snuff and sobbing yeah crying and conversing Davis I am the same way and when you do this I am also confused and yes I cannot do it well I take I take a little pause and part of that pause may have been cut out of the pod my tuna and then I wait until the point of the sob where I would be exhaling anyway and then I talk but if I'm really going so I cry a lot I cry often but I don't cry heavily usually when I cry when I'm really going I also can't talk but I think it might be a benefit of being a frequent crier is that you just kind of have to learn how to do it yeah and I'm not really and I've definitely been in situations where I need to public speak and suddenly I'm crying and cannot so maybe I should maybe I just need some more practice I'd rather not though if it's all the same yeah I don't mind crying I kind of like crying but I don't like crying in public yes definitely agree well Hank let's talk about the news from AFC Wimbledon the season is on hold it might get canceled yeah if it gets canceled I guess Wimbledon stay in league one if it gets like frozen which seems very difficult but possible where they just announced that the season ended the day of the last set of games then I think Wimbledon would also stay in league one although it would be a bit hard on one of the teams that got relegated because they've played fewer games and not a bit hard I mean from their perspective yeah really unfair really totally unfair and then there's the possibility that maybe the season will somehow be finished like when there usually isn't a season in July and August or something question mark we don't really know question mark and that's where it is it's hard to know and I realize this is not only a problem with third-tier English soccer what's going to happen in the future and there's obviously always uncertainty when it comes to predicting the future in fact much more than any of us realized I think six months ago yep four three months ago but that level of uncertainty right now is sort of paralyzing and one of the places where that is being experienced is in third-tier English football another of the places where it's being experienced is inside of my house right now well it's good to know that there is at least a plan and that it is not terrible for afc Wimbledon right I don't know that there is a plan okay but most of the proposals it seems would not I mean it's gonna be hard I think the the CEO of the club said the club will survive financially which I guess is good yeah but it's a mess but also it's a mess everywhere and I understand that I'm sure it's also a mess when it comes to getting perseverance to Mars well a news from Mars John uh there's always Mars research going on even if there isn't active launches to Mars though that that is still hopefully happening on schedule no no updates there uh some scientists we're looking at Martian meteorites so they're like what happens is big impact hit Mars or possibly hit Mars a long long time ago and then those rocks get thrown into the air and eventually some of them fall to Earth and we are able to determine which of those rocks are from Mars and one of the weird things is that we found different amounts of of heavy and light hydrogen in these rocks or that like they were formed in circumstances that had different amounts of heavy and light hydrogen and that would indicate like these are maybe from totally different planets so maybe these aren't from Mars but the but it otherwise seems like they definitely are both from Mars so one thing that they are thinking maybe something that happened is that a long long time ago there were two planets and they both became Mars but because this happened relatively late in the formation of the solar system um those two planets did not fully mix when they came together so Mars may be made of two like pretty distinct types of of like planetary formation rock and that that they are sort of like not super well mixed together in Mars this is very weird it's very interesting it's very preliminary that seems very weird I have to say yeah that seems like a complicated explanation and when we find out the truth we'll be like oh yeah no that made sense I don't know I don't know so wait how do we know that these rocks that are on Earth come from Mars that in and of itself feels like a kind of isn't that cool a big question yeah no we are definitely sure of that um wait the reasons why we're sure yeah we are sure sure um and and I cannot explain to you why we are sure sure but like the people who study this stuff are 100% sure it's not a like that these these rocks come from Mars like humans can hold rocks that traveled from Mars to Earth and made it through our atmosphere and landed like in a field on Earth yep recently they didn't land recently but we have them yeah wow they've mostly been found in Antarctica and Antarctica turns to be a really great place to find meteorites because if there is a rock on the surface of Glacier there's only one way I got there and they also are able to sort of like stay at the top for a while because they have higher or like they're darker so they're warmer so snow melts when it hits them also they're easier to see and they're very easy to spot yes so a lot of these meteorites come from Antarctica which I can't not say Antarctica even though I know no one says Antarctica it's so hard they're going to say Antarctica I always feel like I'm doing it wrong yeah but if I say Antarctica I always feel like I'm doing it over right yeah just like I aspire to be the duck that does duck stuff I want to be able to say Antarctica without but I can't I can't even that time anyway it seems like maybe when Mars itself was formed it did not fully melt those two different types of rock together which is why we can actually distinguish those two types of rock today so the researchers are continuing to study how the melting or not melting might have gone which will tell us more about how Mars was formed but also more about how rocky planets are formed in general this could be a really amazing opportunity if Mars sort of like flash froze halfway through the process of becoming a planet that could tell us a lot about early solar system development anyway John thank you for plotting with me thank you if you want to send us questions the email address is hankandjohn at gmail.com we love them they're the only reason we can make podcasts so thank you very much for doing that we're off to after this record our patron only podcast called this week and great stuff but we talk about great stuff and I'm excited about it and you can join up with that at patreon.com slash dear hankandjohn which helps our production company complexly make educational materials John this podcast is edited by Joseph Tuna Medish it's produced by Rosie Anna Halzer Hossen Sheridan Gibson our editorial assistant is the book you talk about already the music you're hearing now and at the beginning of the podcast is by the great gunerola and as they stay in our hometown don't forget to be awesome