24.  QUICK RESET: The ADHD Myth of 'Just try Harder'

If you’ve ever stood frozen in the kitchen, fully aware of what needs doing — and still couldn’t start — this episode is for you. This week’s Quick Reset tears apart the toxic myth that ADHD mums just need to “try harder.” Jane unpacks what’s actually happening when your brain stalls, and why shame, not laziness, is often the real culprit. From inner critics echoing old failures to the neuroscience behind executive dysfunction, this is a raw, validating, and darkly funny call to stop blaming effort — and start working with your brain instead. You’ll learn practical, low-pressure strategies to get started (no, not with a new app), and finally understand why “just do it” advice doesn’t just fail ADHD mums — it hurts us. ✨ IN THIS RESET: The damaging myth of laziness and willpower How shame shuts down executive function Why ADHD is not about motivation — it’s about regulation What to say to yourself instead of “I just need to focus” Brain-based strategies for task initiation that actually help Real talk about fridge purchases, hyperfocus, and starting vs finishing Why “trying harder” never fixed burnout — and never will 💭 This episode is for you if:– You keep thinking, “I should be able to do this” — but can’t start– You’ve got planners, lists, and alarms… and still feel stuck– You want to stop spiralling into shame and start using strategies that work for your brain 🔗 Sources & Citations: Brown, T. E. (2006). Attention Deficit Disorder: The Unfocused Mind in Children and Adults. Yale University Press. Barkley, R. A., Murphy, K. R., & Fischer, M. (2006). The ADHD Report, 14(6), 6–11. Volkow, N. D., Wang, G.-J., Kollins, S. H., Wigal, T. L., Newcorn, J. H., Telang, F., ... & Swanson, J. M. (2011). “Motivation deficit in ADHD is associated with dysfunction of the dopamine reward pathway.” Molecular Psychiatry, 16(11), 1147–1154. Sonuga-Barke, E. J. S. (2005). “Causal models of ADHD: From common simple deficits to multiple developmental pathways.” Biological Psychiatry, 57(11), 1231–1238. 📚 Mentioned Resource: ADHD Planner & Personal Values Workbook — Designed to help you rebuild capacity, re-centre your day, and stop measuring your worth by productivity. Explore more ADHD-friendly resources: https://adhdmums.com.au/resources/ Other Quick Reset Episodes: S3E8 Advocating for Your Child Shouldn’t Break You — But It Often Does: Spotify | Apple Podcast S3E10 Why am I bracing for impact when nothing is wrong?: Spotify  | Apple Podcast S3E12 I can’t stop snapping when my child does this one thing: Spotify | Apple Podcast  S3E14 I Cancel Plans Because I Don’t Have the Energy to Fake My Personality: Spotify | Apple Podcast S3E15 He wants the Maldives but we can't even manage the park: Spotify | Apple Podcast S3E16 No meds, No plan, and no help..... but yet they're still calling us undiagnosed: Spotify | Apple Podcast S3E17 How we survive the 3- 6:00 PM shit show when kids are coming down off meds: Spotify | Apple Podcast S3E18 Why you are bad at asking for help and what to do instead: Spotify | Apple Podcast S2E22 Why self-care feels like another fucking task: Spotify | Apple Podcast JOIN THE COMMUNITY: Have questions or want to connect with other ADHD mums? Join our supportive Facebook group here and dive into the conversation. No question is too small, and I love answering in a group format! FOLLOW FOR MORE: Get daily tips, insights, and relatable content for ADHD mums by following me on Instagram, Facebook, TikTok or YouTube LEAVE A REVIEW: Love this episode? Your review means everything! It helps other mums find this content and feel supported. Let’s spread the word and make a difference together. COLLABS: For collaborations or speaking engagements, email me at [email protected]. MORE RESOURCES: Still unsure if ADHD or autism applies to you or your child? Take my recommended self-tests here. TOPICS COVERED:ADHD executive dysfunction, task initiation, parenting with ADHD, emotional regulation, ADHD shame spiral, performance parenting, burnout, trauma-informed self-support, neuroaffirming strategies, inner critic, motivation myths, hyperfocus, late diagnosis, ADHD overwhelm, doing things differently, permission to rest.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.