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It's a podcast where two brothers answer your questions, give you dubious advice, and bring you all the weeks news from both Mars and AFC Wimbledon. John, if Italians are from Italy, where are battalions from? Battalions would be from, I guess, technically from Buttally. Yes, that's where they're from.
Although by spelling, by spelling, they're from that battle, which actually makes it kind of sense. Why? Because battalions battle. That's Oh, battle.
That's very good. That's very good. But I just wanted to say buttally. I wanted to make you say buttally.
Well, I'm glad that made you happy, Hank. It's the little things in life that really matter right now, like getting people to say buttally, which isn't even a funny word. Like every time I say it, you have, but it's not. It's not a funny word.
Like if there were a place called Buttally, I wouldn't like trip me up every time the way that the name of the eighth planet does. Seventh. Seventh. Yeah.
Seventh. I always think Jupiter is seventh because I associate the number seven with extremely large objects for some reason. Oh, yeah, I hear that. Uh huh.
But it isn't. Yeah, I have this problem with months where I think that the farther from summer you get, the longer the month names get, which is kind of true mixes it up sometimes and confuses me, especially Montana where April is definitely still the winter as is March actually. Right. March is a little longer.
No name. No, it's the exact same length. But I and Elle are very thin. Oh, you mean like the way that it exists in your mind?
Yeah. Yeah. Physical space. I'm just thinking in terms of characters, not in terms of like the length of a letter, but it's interesting how the different lines work.
This is the high quality content that people download our podcast every week for. So I guess that's what it's come to. And Hank and I trying to not directly talk about 2020. We are now talking about the relative length of March and April, not as months, but as words.
Also, just like, Eel. Nothing. I was just thinking about the way they sound. March feels like a big.
March is a good word. Big word and April seems like a little word, even though it's got two syllables and March only has one spell, like March just feels very big. Do you ever think about it? All humans are going to die.
And like then at some point, nobody will be around to like translate our language. Yeah. And then our language will be gone as well. And nobody will know that March was a slightly angrier word than April.
Yeah, I do think about that, John. And I think it's important just because of like our roots here on Dear Hank and John that we do interface with that reality sometimes occasionally. Because that's, you know, it's where we used to be a podcast about death. Yeah, we left it behind a little bit because it's a lot at the moment.
Yeah, we look forward to the days when this can again be a podcast about death. When everything else on Earth has stopped being about that. The first question comes from Abigail, who has Dear Hank and John doing a phone interview for a writing internship at a teen magazine next week. I've never been interviewed for anything before and I'm very nervous, especially because even ordering a pizza on the phone makes me stressed because it isn't a video call.
I can be wherever I want in the house. Where should I sit during my interview? Should I take notes? What will I do with my hands?
Any of these advice would be greatly appreciated Abigail. Boy, it's all I also had to learn this. Now I get on a phone call and I know exactly what to do with my body. I know I know what works for me.
But yeah, I remember those days when I was like, what am I supposed to even be doing? Where do my hands go? Well, and it's a form of getting nervous, right? Like part of getting nervous is imagining the situation and you can't imagine the situation unless you can imagine where you're going to be and like what's going to be in front of you.
I do have strong opinions about this though, Abigail. So I think that you should be in a room where you will not be interrupted and without outside distractions. So like a room without screens, for instance. And I think you should have physical paper and a pen.
And I think you should feel free to doodle. Yes. Because there have been studies that say that actually when you doodle, you do a better job of paying attention and retaining information if you're a doodler than if you don't. And I also think that you should take notes as you find them helpful, but that you shouldn't feel obligated to take tons and tons of notes because really you want it to be a conversation.
I think for me, the most important notes to take are questions that I have because I often forget them. So in the moment they're talking, I have a question and I don't write it down and then they finish talking and I'm like, what was that? And then I'm like, I had a question. But I forgot it.
I can't remember what it was. I forgot the question and I'm just talking now to try and remember the question. I sound like a dope. So I try to avoid that by writing down the question when it pops into my head.
So having a pen and paper is good. And pens it like in general, it helps me and this is me to have something to do with my hands. Sometimes I stand up and walk around. Sometimes I hold a pen.
Sometimes I have a fidget. Sometimes I doodle. All that stuff helps me concentrate and not get distracted and like get lost in some unrelated thought. So yeah, I think that all those things are important.
Being in a space that is somewhat physically familiar is good because then you won't be distracted by things in the space. But that sounds like probably going to be the case no matter what. But yeah, I think that's great advice, John. Good luck, Abigail.
Let us know how it goes. Also, if it's helpful, you can always tell them, you know, I'm such a good writer that I actually got my question answered on noted American third-tier advice podcast, Dear Hank and John. Yeah, who knows? And it's very completely normally nervous in situations like this.
Embrace it. I've never been in an interview where I wasn't nervous. Me neither. I don't really clearly remember the last time I wasn't nervous.
It's been a few months. Yeah, what I say, I've never in an interview with him. I'm not nervous. It's what I'm saying is I'm just the nerves.
I feel them. Oh boy. This next question comes from Tara who writes to John and Hank, I was recently listening to John's podcast, The Anthropocene Reviewed on Staphylococcus or yes, by the way, Hank, I don't know if you heard it, but I did a episode of my podcast, The Anthropocene Reviewed about staff and staff infections. I am opposed to them, but lots of lots of different texts.
Anyway, do other animals get sick as much as humans do? That's Tara's question. I mean, I've had to take my dog to the vet once or twice before because he's felt sick for some reason, but humans get sick all the dang time. The list just goes on and on.
It's not just staff infections, it's also flu, malaria, cold, strep. So what's going on here? Is there something specific to humans? Are we just like weaker than other organisms?
Or do they get sick as much as we do? We just don't know as much about it. There seem to be several different things going on here. One is that we live a lifestyle that is good at spreading disease.
Super good. Yeah. So that seems to be the biggest piece of it is that your dog doesn't see that many dogs on a daily basis. See some?
Some, you know, run into other some other dogs, but there's just like on average, the average person sees way more people and is around way more people than the average dog is. Also dogs travel a lot less in their average lifetimes than humans travel in their average lifetimes. But there is more to it than that because we are also susceptible to certain waterborne illnesses in ways that many other mammals aren't, but some other mammals are. Yes.
And we're not really sure what this is about, except that like we've gotten good at avoiding diseases in various ways. And that means that it's that they kill us less. And so we are it is less important for us to develop strategies to not be killed by them genetically, like in terms of how our bodies are built because we have cultural ways of preventing those diseases. Right.
That's a big deal. I also think it's a big deal that we have relatively long lives, like compared to dogs or cats, for instance. Yeah. And so we get sick more, because we're around for longer.
And the other thing is that a lot of animals in the wild do get sick, and they die. Yeah. A lot of times they die. Yeah.
Like a lot of illnesses in non-human animals are fatal illnesses. Yeah. It's wild. Like things that we handle pretty easily in ourselves, like tooth decay, for example, we have ways of treating cavities early, but they can easily be fatal if left untreated.
We don't think about that anymore because we treat them. There are also a lot of animals that aren't here anymore because of diseases like the kuaiyo stopped existing largely because of avian malaria, partly because of other human-brought problems. And so we don't hear about those creatures getting sick because we killed all of them. Yeah.
But usually, big enough populations usually have ways of getting around serious infectious diseases, even if they have really tremendous impact that ecological niche remains and some animals are able to repopulate it. But like, the process of having that happen is really, it includes a great deal of suffering and we don't want that to happen to people. So we have all these other strategies and we're good at it. And like, we're better at it now than we used to be.
And we're going to be better at it in the future than we are now. We better be. Fingers crossed. I think it's a weird time, Hank, to be tooting our own horror in the disease, knowledge, and treatment.
Yeah. Yeah. And response. Yeah.
Agree. I feel like when you say we are good at it, you mean like, as a species, we have the capacity, not like as a species, we always do this. Yeah. This next question is from Tiffany who asks Dear Hank and John, I'm writing to you in the midst of a thunderstorm.
I grew up in Tornado Alley, so we really got some doozies. And I remember all throughout childhood being told that if you count the number of seconds between seeing lightning and hearing a thunderclap, you can estimate how many miles the lightning strike is away from you. And I believe it was one second equals one mile. Is this true?
The lightning I just saw seemed a lot closer than the corresponding thunderclap would suggest. Also, my cat is hiding underneath the kitchen sink, which is irrelevant, but adorable Tiffany. This is one of those pieces of misinformation that is so widely shared and is a little bit actively dangerous. Now, obviously, is it the most actively dangerous misinformation that's being shared in the year of our Lord 2020?
No, but it is wrong. And it is really, and it leads people to have a false sense of security when they shouldn't have one. When you see a lightning strike and then you count the seconds until you hear the thunder, five seconds equals one mile. So one second equals one fifth of one mile.
What confuses me about this is that it's actually, there is a number and it's very clear and it's easy. It's not hard. It's five seconds. It's not exactly, but it's very close to five seconds equals one mile.
But and before the internet was a thing, we counted and we that was our rule and growing up in Florida is one second is one mile. And like that information spread around. Yeah, person to person, the way information used to. And but now we are in a world of really easy access to more information, but we're still stuck on the like 1985 version, one second equals one mile.
We need to we need to correct this misunderstanding. So five seconds equals one mile, one second equals one fifth of a mile, 20% of a mile, which is not a large distance. That's very far. Go inside.
Yeah, honestly, go inside if it's five seconds. Like that's only a mile. Yeah, when we were growing up as kids in central Florida, we were always taught that if you hear thunder, go inside, which I think is great advice and like, why not? Why not?
Inside's great. Well, I mean, air conditioned in there. Yeah, but obviously only with the people who are in your immediate distancing group. If you're in the United States, if you're in New Zealand, of course, you can do whatever the heck you want.
Absolutely. Okay. There's this next question comes from Anna who writes, I've been reading the New York Times best selling novel an absolutely remarkable thing. By the way, congratulations on a beautifully foolish and ever your second novel making the New York Times bestseller list.
Thank you. Anyway, my question is, what's a rehearsal dinner? They mentioned one in the book, and I don't understand. Are they simply the same as a wedding party but the day before?
Like a wedding Eve? Do you just repeat everything the next day? How can they be emotional if you know you'll repeat them? Bunkins and Penguins, Anna.
I was legitimately bummed out when I found out about wedding rehearsals. And I think it was I think yours was the first wedding rehearsal I ever knew about. Yeah. And like, and I was like, oh, we're gonna like do it, but not actually?
Well, to me, it didn't, it never feels like you're actually doing a wedding. It feels like you're rehearsing. So like you're told where to stand and you're told what's gonna happen when and like, because if you didn't do any of that the whole time, I, well, I guess I'm a person who's anxious. And so I like to know what I'm getting myself into.
I like to be as prepared as I can be. But if you just tell me to like show up at the church at 2.30 and by three o'clock I'll be married, I'll be like, wait, what happens and when? But yeah, well, but like you're eliminating all chance of the unexpected. No, you're definitely not because for instance, one of my grooms is impainted and there was no preparing for that.
Like we just got that happening. That wasn't a rehearsal. That wasn't a rehearsal. No, but that actually is a question.
The question is about an even weirder wedding-related tradition, which is the rehearsal dinner. The idea is that after the rehearsal, here's what happens. Everybody pretends to eat food and you all think, okay, we're gonna put the food down, but there's no food and the plate comes down and then you like put your knife in four a cow and you try to carve up your fake food and then you have a fake food fight and it's really cute. No, all of that is incorrect.
This is a culturally specific thing probably and it's a much bigger deal in our family than it is in other families. But in our family, the rehearsal dinner is a huge deal where you bring all of the wedding party and the out-of-town guests into a dinner the night before the wedding and the dinner is really just an excuse to have this wonderful series of toasts. And it's usually hosted by the grooms family and it could be at an Applebee's or it could be at a formal dining, like a formal reception place. You have space.
Yeah. And then you have these toasts at the end of the night that people pour so much work into making funny and I worked harder on my toast at Hank's rehearsal dinner than I've ever worked on any speech I've ever given. I mean, I didn't not work hard on mine. The best speech at my rehearsal dinner was given by my friend, Levin, who had gone to the wrong place and he'd gone to a rehearsal dinner at a different wedding and he just hadn't noticed and he was there at the like cocktails portion of the rehearsal dinner, like before sitting down for like an hour and he was just talking to people and having a good time.
And finally someone said, so how do you know Jackie and Bob? And Levin showed up at our rehearsal dinner and he gave this in, I mean, he's a professional comedian, but he gave this incredible toast to Jackie and Bob. Yeah. Yeah.
I mean, so it's not that it is the dinner that happens after the rehearsal. Yeah. It's like, I think the idea and the goal is like all the people, a lot of people came into town. It'd be a shame if we only had one dinner.
So we're just going to throw in another dinner, which is expensive. So don't you don't have to do it. But it is a just another chance to have more time together since this there aren't going to be that many opportunities. In your life, it turns out to have all those people together in the same place.
And the great news is you get to actually eat. It's not pretend eating. Yes, indeed. Real food occurs.
This next question, John comes from Holly who asked Dear Hank and John this morning, I made a TikTok about Romeo and Juliet and it's completely blown up. I am now very mildly TikTok famous. Someone in the comments called me the queen of Shakespeare TikTok. What do I do with this title?
If I were the queen of a Shakespeare play, I would probably plan a murder, my own death or both. But obviously, these choices are not ideal, hard to be the bard, but harder to be internet famous. Holly. So Hank, we included this question because I would say like one out of every 45 emails we get at the moment is about someone who suddenly just became TikTok famous.
Yeah, it's really interesting to watch as a person who's been doing this for a while because TikTok is so good at highlighting new content and putting eyeballs on it that it's not uncommon to have something that gets millions of views or even hundreds of thousands, which is a lot, right? Right. But also like compared to other platforms that that view is very devalued because like you're constantly streaming through new stuff and like converting from a view to a follow is less likely and also follows themselves are devalued because people almost never leave there for you page. So it's really interesting like that so many people now are going to get the experience of what it's like to have something that they made get a fairly large audience.
And that's valuable, but it isn't like the kind of thing that you can turn into something that can support your career or anything. Or maybe you can. I mean, you know, I think some people are going to go from being the queen of Shakespeare, TikTok to being, you know, the queen of Shakespeare analysis on the internet or whatever. I think some of that will happen anytime you're dealing with a really new platform.
We don't yet know all the ways that it's going to shake out in terms of like becoming a job. But also that isn't the only point of doing stuff. Yeah, absolutely. There are reasons to make work other than to try to turn it into money.
Creating is in itself really wonderful and having people find your creations and enjoy them is also really wonderful. So one, that's great and like follow the joy and the curiosity. But if that joint curiosity dries up, like it's nothing wrong with moving on. Yeah, I remember a long time ago, I saw a presentation by Zae Frank where he talked about the first time he ever had something he made on the internet go viral.
He'd sent out like a invitation to a party that included a series of videos on like how to dance well. And it felt so good to get all that outside validation. And I remember the feeling of waking up the day that your video got featured on the front page of YouTube in 2007 and just feeling this rush of energy and excitement. And it was just tremendously fulfilling.
And it's natural to like want that again. You know, like how about that? But more, like can I have it every day? Like, and so in this presentation, Zae Frank talked about how, you know, he tried to do a bunch of things and they didn't really resonate with a large audience in the same way.
So then he created how to dance well too. And how we all like we all have this urge to like, I want to get that feeling back. I want to get that feeling back. And it is a wonderful feeling.
It is really intoxicating. But I would say it's intoxicating in all the ways that other intoxicants are intoxicating, including that it can become a real problem if you chase it for its own sake all the time. Yeah. But making stuff can be really wonderful.
Even if it isn't reaching a large audience. So, so there's probably an opportunity to have a hobby that is fun. And maybe we'll come in handy at whether this becomes like, whether it's a thing that's like the most unlikely outcome is that like this becomes itself a job. But a very likely outcome is that it informs your understanding of the world in a way that helps you in other work or in other creation.
And also maybe is something that is fun to put on a college like application or job resume or something. Yeah. Also, it's like great conversation. Oh, yeah.
You know, like 20 years from now, when people are talking about TikTok and you're just enjoying a quiet night outside with your friends and people are talking about TikTok, you'll be like, you're never going to believe this. But I was actually the queen of Shakespeare TikTok. And people are going to love that story. Oh, yeah.
Watch your TikTok. It was funny. Good job. And also very insightful.
So, so it seems like that's a good combination. You got going for you and all kinds of all kinds of opportunities in the future. But I do not know how to be famous. I do not know how to have influence.
I do not know what the way to do that, what's the right way to do that. And I think that like the most important thing is that we think about it intelligently that we're thoughtful about it, that we understand what we're chasing and like know when the fuels are healthy and when they aren't. Yeah. I mean, we all fly toward light somewhat mindlessly, right?
But we also all have the capacity to be like, wait, why am I flying toward this light so relentlessly? Like, is there is that the only light it could be flying toward? Or if I look in this other direction, is there a light that I could maybe fly toward instead? John, this next question comes from Montana, who asks dear Hank and John, when you get a limb amputated, what do they do with it afterwards?
Do they like compost it or do you get to keep it? Not the state Montana. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Do they like what it composted?
That's all you said. What did I say? Did I say come, come, come, you said composted. And I, I don't know.
Is that a regionalism? No. I think it's how they say it in England, but oh, oh, it's part of your fake English accent. And probably doesn't even have a say it in England.
Oh, it's all part of your, your fake English accent just like comes to the floor. Sarah and I were talking recently. Well, I John, I don't know if you know, but I spent a little bit of time in the United Kingdom. Oh, God.
So occasionally one of my precious, oh, there's nothing scarier than American who spent eight days in England coming home with a fake British accent. Sarah and I were recently talking about the fact that like having grown up in the South, Sarah grew up in the South and I went to high school in the South that our natural inclination is always to put the emphasis when we're trying to not have a Southern accent. Our natural inclination is always to put the emphasis on a syllable other than the first syllable because in Southern accents, people might say like insurance or umbrella or garage. And so when we want to sound like like regular American, whatever that accent is, so when we were kids and we wanted to sound like not Southern, we would always put the emphasis on the second or third syllable, but that sometimes leads to humorous mispronunciations when you're just trying to not have an accent like Sarah would always say Yahoo mail.
Not that there's anything wrong with having a Southern accent, of course, it's just that when I was a kid, I happened to like want to sound like, I don't know, like MTV sounded right. Yeah, I get it. But that wasn't the question. Right.
Do they do? I apologize for pronunciation. Right. But to get back to the question, do they compost?
I think they don't they definitely don't compost. I think that's what they say in England. God, it's going to be a right. Be a right.
Be a letter. Tell me how I'm doing. Oh, they will. Don't worry.
They will. Usually it is incinerated is taken to the crematorium. And sometimes it is used in science, but and they will push back against this sometimes, but you in most places in America, it's yours and you can have it if you want it. Good to know.
Okay. So you can look up and see people who have decided that they would like to hold on to their remains for one reason or another. And you know, obviously there are religious reasons why some people do this, but also it could just be a matter of personal preference. And it's like, I would like to have my foot.
Thank you. I like that you think the way that English people say compost is you think they say compost. If you think I'm going to let it go. You're incorrect.
Look, just say a sentence that has compost in it, but do it with a British accent, John. You've hit me in my weak point. Yeah, it's not a weak point is that you won't just do it. Whereas I have no shame.
Let me think. Let me think if I can do it. I'm going away from the microphone to do it into my own mouth. I can't do it.
Come on, Jeremiah. Why won't you just compost it? See, no shame. I'm not saying it was good.
I think that like when English people do an American accent, it's that bad. It's never that bad. No, no. And when Americans do a British accent, it's not that bad.
It's never that bad. It's just me. Whenever I hear other people do American accents, because also it's because of the things they say, like you're like, should we compost the tea or whatever? But they're always like, hey, Bob, want to go get a hamburger?
It just tells you so much where I was like, I was like, whiny about compost with Jeremiah. Yeah. Whereas like when English people do American accents, they're like, Hey, you want to pay $27,000 for a one night hospital stay? Which reminds me actually, this podcast is brought to you by the US Healthcare System.
The US Healthcare System, you can either spend $27,000 on the most luxurious two week vacation imaginable by a human being or spend a night in the hospital. This podcast is also brought to you by Jackie and Bob. They had a wedding and Levin went to it. And then he was very complimentary and celebratory of that happy couple.
I hope they're doing well. I still think about them often. Today's podcast is also of course brought to you by lightning lightning closer than you think. And finally, this podcast is brought to you by drawing something while extremely stressed out, doodling.
It's called doodling. We also have a project for us message to read. It's from Emily. Thanks for donating to the project for awesome to Benjamin.
My two and a half year old son Benjamin absolutely loves both of you. He is especially obsessed with my John and Hank bobbleheads. He has to give them hugs and kisses every night before bed. Would you mind telling Benjamin, good night?
Good night. Benjamin John here. Good night. It's now time to put the bobbleheads back on the shelf and go to sleep.
Good night, Benjamin, put the bobbleheads back on the shelf. That was Hank Benjamin. He didn't identify himself because he walks around the world constantly thinking that people know who he is. Good night, Benjamin.
It's Hank. It's time to put the bobbleheads back on the shelf. Oh great. Now he's going to have terrible dreams.
Benjamin, thank you for being such a good little guy and Emily. Thank you for donating to the project for awesome. That was very cute. I can't believe you did that.
You know how like Alex Honnold can like climb mountain faces without any ropes because he doesn't have a very active amygdala? I'd love to know like what part of your brain doesn't work that allows you to like plow ahead with that English accent even though you have to know how bad it is. This episode of Dear Hank and John is brought to you by Shopify. There are a lot of things that stand between I have an idea and this is an idea that actually exists in the world and people are buying things from me.
And that is what Shopify makes easier. When you start with Shopify, the tools, to design and launch and take payments, they're all there from day one. You don't have to build a whole machine before you can start building the business. And this is important because you also have to like look good and with Shopify's templates, you could get a site set up really quick that looks credible and professional without needing to code or duct tape a bunch of different tools together.
And when things look real, that works on my brain to be like, I'm doing a real thing. It also works on other people's brains to be like, this is legitimate. Shopify also has one of the best checkout systems on the internet. It's built to help customers finish the purchase effectively and efficiently without a bunch of roadblocks.
Returning customers can check out with a single click. That means less friction and fewer abandoned carts and a smoother experience for everybody. That stuff gives you confidence early on and it gives other people confidence in what you're doing. You're not wondering whether the payment system is going to work.
You're not wondering whether customers can get through the process. Shopify handles that foundation so you can focus on the thing that you're actually trying to do. It's really kind of amazing to meet the Shopify as a tool that works. From the first day your store launches when you're just starting to get customers all the way up to being the size of good.store or dftv.com or being the size of like Mattel and Gymshark.
When you build a Shopify, you're building with tools that already work at every scale. All you need is the idea Shopify handles the rest. You can start your free trial at Shopify.com slash deerhank. Start your free trial at Shopify.com slash deerhank.
With new subscription only, while supplies last until September 27th, 2026. See you website for more details. This episode of Deerhank is brought to you by Factor. Imagine for a moment that you are absolutely immersed in some work where you're creating something beautiful or useful or useless and ugly but you love it anyway.
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With new subscription only, while supplies last until September 27th, 2026. See website for more details. I think it's fine. I think that one was way better.
This next question comes from Leo who writes Deerhank50off my fiance. My fiance. My fiance. Now who's now how do they pronounce it like that?
John? How are you going to save that? My fiance. All right.
This next question comes from Leo who writes Deerhank50off and I planned our wedding for this summer and we're going ahead with it even with the whole world situation. You know, it was always going to be a pretty small wedding. But now none of us, the grandparents have been able to make it. We're going to live stream and record it for their benefit.
But it just won't be the same. My question is, what else should we do to try to include them and to have a joyful day in such a difficult time? Oh my God. Wow.
Oh God. Everybody just, I hope that you're all clapping for John at home. Wow. What a thing.
All right. I did it. I knew I was going to have to do it and I did it. But I just want to state for the record that my armpit sweat is out of this world.
I'm drenched. All right. Well, yeah. Yeah.
Sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Not the bummer.
That's the end of the sentence. Yeah. There have to be there have to be people who have tried to solve this problem in some ways. You know, you got to put the laptop on a robot and have it just rumble down the aisle, that kind of thing.
I think it's more about calling attention to the people who aren't there and paying attention to them and saying that you're grateful that they're watching. Like, I think that's what makes people feel included. If they're just watching a live stream, that does start to feel like a bit of a bummer. By the way, Leah and Nick have just decided to postpone their wedding.
I just went to their wedding website and found out the same thing. So a lot of people are writing in the laugh. I was at your website earlier today and your wedding was not postponed earlier today, but it is postponed now and I'm really sorry. Fortunately, you are still registered for saucepans and I bought you one.
I have a wedding advice podcast if we only reward the wedding people. Well, I mean, anybody can include a link to their Amazon wish list. It's just that only the people who are getting married do. That was a nice saucepan, John.
That's not me. Yeah. It's a good saucepan. So this became less helpful for for you, Leah, but it became helpful for all the people who are writing us being like, here's how my school is going to open back up.
And how do I handle this? Because like, boy, do you not actually know that that's what's going to happen? Yeah, I mean, there's so much. Oh, God.
Yeah. Prepare prepare for what they're telling you to prepare for, but also prepare for the possibility that that's not what's going to happen. The only declarative sentence that I feel comfortable saying right now is that I don't know. Yeah.
Oh, and that your English accent is really bad. So the news may have seen one of the niggas that we have signed a player, which is encouraging, because it implies that we will maybe play football this coming season, which would be great. Yeah. The player's name is Che Alexander.
He is a fullback and he comes to us from Barnet, of English soccer. This is the thing that we've been doing over the years, because Wimbledon has a very small budget. They have to over perform every year. So we sign players from outside the top four tiers of English football.
And then we hope that they do a great job. And sometimes they do an amazing job. Like for instance, Joe Pigott was signed from a national league side to fifth-tier side. Other times, maybe it goes less well, but this is the recruitment strategy that that works given the financial constraints that the club is under.
So welcome to the club, Alexander. You seem ready to go from your interview that I watched when you said I'm ready to go. I'm looking at a picture of him and he looks like a football player. He looks like he's good at football playing.
He looks like he's got all the major assets you need. The cleats. He's got a jersey on. Yes.
You know what? There's an intensity in his gaze, which I like. Yeah. And we've also re-signed a number of important players, including Anthony Hardigan, who's been a Wimbledon player since his youth, and also Shane McLaughlin.
So I don't know. I'm feeling, is it fair to say I'm feeling good? No, it's not. I'm not feeling good yet, but I cannot wait to see AFC Wimbledon play in their new stadium.
That is going to be a magical, magical moment for me. I hope that it happens soon. John, in this week's Mars News, it's time, it's launch time because we are the planet is currently close to Mars, our planet is close to Mars. And so everything is launching.
The United Arab Emirates launched on July 20th, the Hope Orbiter, which successfully launched. They established contact with it. So everything went as planned and it will reach Mars and then we'll be collecting data about Mars's weather, helping scientists understand how Mars lost its hydrogen and oxygen. There was another Mars mission launched on July 23rd.
It's Tianwen-1, and the name of that mission comes from a poem from 300 BC. And it means questions to heaven, which is really, really great. And it has an orbiter and a lander rover duo, which is the first time something like that combination has been sent to Mars. Like the United Arab Emirates Hope Orbiter, it should arrive in February and the lander rover duo is scheduled to land in Mars's northern hemisphere around two to three months after that.
The rover and orbiter will be gathering information about geology, the soil, the ionosphere, and other things about Mars's internal structure. And finally, the scheduled for launch, NASA's Perseverance rover on July 30th. So by the time this podcast is posted, it should have been launched and you will know better than I, person listening, how that went. Fingers crossed that that went well.
It is it is launch time. It's a very very busy sky right now for Mars missions. All right, let's get that stuff in the air and on the very long journey. That's a very long journey, but they will arrive.
It's exciting. Exciting. I'm excited to Hank. Yes.
Thank you for popping with me. And thanks everybody for listening. You can send us your questions at hankandjohnatgmail.com. We love reading your questions and we're sorry for all the ones that we haven't answered.
This podcast is edited by Joseph Tuna-Medis, produced by Rosie Anna Halzer-Ohasson, Sharon Gibson. Our editorial assistant is Dibokka-Vardy. Our communications coordinator is Julia Bloom. The music you're hearing now is by the great Gunnarola.
And as they say in our hometown, don't forget to be awesome.