28: Three Pillars of a Healthy Marriage Part 1: You, The Individual

Welcome back to another episode of the Love How Deep podcast.  We hope as you continue to listen that your marriage is strengthened and that you continue to use God's Word as the foundation for your marriage.  We are starting a 3 part miniseries called "3 Pillars of a Healthy Marriage."  In our first episode, we will be focus on you as an individual.  In the second episode, we will focus on you and your spouse in your marriage relationship, and then in the final episode we will discuss how other people factor into a healthy marriage.  Of course in all 3 parts, God is at the center and we encourage you to make sure you constantly look to build all three of these areas on his principals.  It might help to think about our miniseries like a 3 legged stool.  Each of the topics are a leg of the stool.  The seat of the stool is God and He is what all of the legs should be connected to for he gives the stool strength and stability.  With that let's talk more about today and our focus on you as an individual.  Our episode will be divided into 3 parts.  We will discuss God's Love, Your Awareness, and Your Humility.  Part A: God's Love Key Verse: And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord's holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. (Ephesians 3:16-19) What is God's Love? God's love is vast and incomprehensible. Comparing it to Niagara Falls helps grasp its magnitude. INFINITE: God's love is infinite, demonstrated by His sacrifice for all humanity. Like Niagara Falls, it flows endlessly. POWER: God's love empowers us, casting out fear and enabling us to do all things. It's akin to the power generated by Niagara Falls, capable of great impact. GIFT: God's love is a gift, shown through Christ's sacrifice. It's not just an action; God is Love itself, permeating everything.     Personal Stories Brian's Experience Accepted Christ at 12, experiencing overwhelming joy. His understanding of God's infinite, powerful love shaped his life. Heather's Encounter Amidst life's trials, felt abandoned by God. Encountered God's love at a conference, experiencing comfort and renewal. Moving Forward:  Embrace the vastness of God's love, recognizing its infinite nature and power to transform lives. Internalize the truth that God's love is a gift, freely given and encompassing every aspect of our being. Allow God's love to empower and guide you, casting out fear.   Part B: Self Awareness   Key Verse:  Investigate my life, O God, find out everything about me; Cross-examine and test me, get a clear picture of what I'm about; See for yourself whether I've done anything wrong, then guide me on the road to eternal life.  Psalms 139:23-24 MSG Adam and Eve's Awareness We were created in God's image ("So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them." Gen 1:27), morally, spiritually, and intellectually. Initially aligned with God, Adam and Eve felt no shame (Gen 2). Their awareness changed when deceived by Satan, leading to shame and hiding (Gen 3). Your Awareness God desires an intimate relationship with us, akin to Adam and Eve's connection with Him. Often, we are more aware of others' faults than our own, as Matthew highlighted ("Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye." Matt 7:3-5). Blind spots, like in "The Emperor's New Clothes," can prevent us from recognizing our own faults. Even if we recognize our faults, like Paul, we may struggle to overcome them ("For I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing." Romans 7:18-19). God's View of You Despite our faults, God loves us infinitely, demonstrated by Jesus' sacrifice. Through Jesus, God sees us as loved, courageous, free, victorious, and chosen. Even in our failings, God sees our true worth. Personal Stories Heather's Personal Experience: Felt worthless during a failing marriage, but God showed me my true worth. Despite my faults, God's love changed me for the better. Moving Forward:  Embrace the journey of self-awareness, recognizing the importance of understanding one's thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. Commit to introspection and reflection, identifying blind spots and areas for growth with honesty and humility. Allow self-awareness to foster a deeper connection with God and a greater sense of self-worth and purpose. Part C: Humility Key Verse "Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of others." (Philippians 2:3-4) Definition: Humility is a modest view of oneself, devoid of pride and arrogance, prioritizing others' needs over our own. Jesus' Example: Jesus exemplified humility by valuing others above Himself, washing His disciples' feet as an act of selfless love (John 13:1–15). Reward of Humility: God honors the humble, choosing them for His work and bestowing grace upon them "But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong." 1 Corinthians 1:27 "Wisdom's instruction is to fear the Lord, and humility comes before honor." Proverbs 15:33). Personal Personal Reflection: Reflect on moments of pride and arrogance, and strive to adopt a humble attitude in interactions with others. Practical Examples: Consider practical ways to demonstrate humility towards your spouse, such as letting them choose activities or taking on household chores yourself. Moving Forward ·         Foster humility in your relationship by prioritizing your spouse's needs and desires over your own. ·         Practice humility in decision-making, avoiding the desire to "win" and instead working together as a team. ·         Embrace disagreements with humility, agreeing to disagree and supporting your spouse's decisions without resentment or bitterness, fostering a spirit of unity and cooperation in your marriage. Wrap-Up   ·        We are off to a great start.  We have covered today the first of the 3 Pillars of a Healthy Marriage.  We focused on the importance of God's Love, then we turned inward toward Self Awareness, and then finally discussed how that inward reflection can show itself outwardly in Humility.  ·         We really look forward to Part 2 next where we will discuss the 2nd Pillar that is all about your marriage relationship to each other.  There will be 3 key areas will we discuss.  ·         We will end with Pillar 3 after that in which we discuss how you can take what you have learned about yourself and as a couple out to other important people in your life.  Conclusion FREE "Date Night Ideas" There are several creative and easy Date ideas for you as a married couple to engage in.  We give some brief instruction on how best to enjoy each idea.  Spending Quality Time together will give you a much better chance to strengthen your connection and you will create a memory you won't forget together.  Go to www.lovehowdeep.com/datenight to see several free options.  FREE 10 Practical Communication Strategies This guide will help you as a couple have more effective and connecting conversations.   Closing Thanks for tuning in! We appreciate your time. Stay tuned for our next episode.