286. The Coping Reframe: Trust, Grief and Healthy Coping

Send us Fan MailContent note: This episode includes references to suicide bereavement and grief.In the second episode of our Healthy Coping Mechanisms mini-series, we are joined by rail incident controller Tom Curcher for a powerful and honest conversation about coping under pressure, building trust, and recovering after difficult experiences.Tom shares a fascinating behind-the-scenes insight into working in a high-pressure rail incident response environment, where communication, calm thinking and teamwork really matter. He explains why trust is the foundation of effective response, how he prepares for worst-case scenarios without becoming overwhelmed, and why sharing the load is essential when pressure is high.This episode also explores a deeply personal resilience reframe. Tom talks openly about losing his dad to suicide, living with grief, and how that experience has shaped his outlook on life, work and supporting others. Rather than seeing resilience as simply 'bouncing back', Tom offers a grounded reminder that we can live with difficult experiences, learn from them, and still choose connection, gratitude and growth.Tom shares the power of genuinely asking “how are you?”, listening without trying to fix, knowing what is and isn’t yours to carry, and creating team environments where people feel safe to speak honestly. His call to action is simple but brave: ask for feedback, drop the mask, and consider what you could do differently to help yourself and others cope better.Tom volunteers with SOBS – Survivors of Bereavement by Suicide. You can connect with Tom on Instagram: Tom Curcher