30: Three Pillars of a Healthy Marriage Part 3 - Others

Welcome back to another episode of the Love How Deep podcast.  We hope as you continue to listen that your marriage is strengthened and that you continue to use God's Word as the foundation for your marriage.  We are doing a 3 part miniseries called "3 Pillars of a Healthy Marriage."  In our first episode, we  focused on you as an individual.  In the second episode, we focused on you and your spouse in your marriage relationship, and then in the final episode we will now discuss how other people factor into a healthy marriage.  Of course in all 3 parts, God is at the center and we encourage you to make sure you constantly look to build all three of these areas on his principals.  It might help to think about our miniseries like a 3 legged stool.  Each of the topics are a leg of the stool.  The seat of the stool is God and He is what all of the legs should be connected to for he gives the stool strength and stability.  With that let's talk more about today and our focus on your relationship and purpose with others.  Our episode will be divided into 3 parts.  We will discuss Communion, Baptism, Our Love.  Part A: Communion Key Verse: And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord's holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. (Ephesians 3:16-19) ■        Definition:  Com means "with and together."  Union means "joined together to become one." ■        Sharing and Opening Up:  Talking and also allowing your spouse into your world. ■        Trust:  The more trust there is the easier it is to come together. ■        The Last Supper:  The ultimate act of communion - both in spending time together and in taking the bread and wine.  "For I received from the Lord what I also passed on to you: The Lord Jesus, on the night he was betrayed, took bread, and when he had given thanks, he broke it and said, "This is my body, which is for you; do this in remembrance of me." In the same way, after supper he took the cup, saying, "This cup is the new covenant in my blood; do this, whenever you drink it, in remembrance of me." 26 For whenever you eat this bread and drink this cup, you proclaim the Lord's death until he comes. 1 Cor 11:23-26   ■        Taking Communion Together:  Finally, all of you, be like-minded, be sympathetic, love one another, be compassionate and humble. (1 Peter 3:8) ■        Things that Are Good Alone, But Better Together Chocolate and Peanut Butter Peanut Butter and Jelly Garlic and Onions Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers Joe Montana and Jerry Rice Bert and Ernie Burger and Fries Ketchup and Mustard ○        How Do We Apply this concept of Communion To Others:   ■        Gathering With Friends ■        Providing Meals, Money To Friends in Need ■        Supporting Causes with our Time and Money ■        Sharing Our Testimony ■        Doing Kind Things for Those We Do Not Know   Part B: Baptism   Key Verse:  Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland. (Isaiah 43:18-19) Inward Change When we accept Christ, we are changed from the inside out.  Baptism is the symbolic representation of the inward change that takes place when we accept Jesus. As you probably know, baptism is done through immersion in water.  This immersion is symbolic of Jesus washing our sins away. And another important part of baptism is the outward declaration to others of this change.   In the Bible, John is the most well known baptizer and in fact he actually baptized Jesus.  John felt he was not worthy to baptize Jesus, but rather asked if Jesus would baptize him.  Jesus said that in order to conform to the will of God, that John must baptize Him.  And so he consented.  An amazing thing happened when John listened to Jesus and baptized him, "As soon as He came up out of the water, the heavens opened and the Spirit of God descended like a dove and said This is my son, whom I love and am well pleased." Matthew 3:16-17.  We should remember we are not getting baptized because it performs anything additional to what Jesus already did for us.  It is simply a symbolic representation and public proclamation of that change. Public Proclamation Ask the couples to take off and/or look at their wedding ring.  Ask them to share what things this ring represents to them.  We put on a wedding ring as a symbol of our commitment and devotion to each other. In the same way, baptism is a picture of devotion and commitment to Christ. A wedding ring reminds us and tells others that we belong to someone special.  A wedding ring is a symbol that outwardly declares our inward change in devotion. Another common symbol of the completion of the inward change and the public proclamation of that change happens when a couple goes through is called the send-off line.  It is the happy celebration where people throw rice, throw rose petals, blow bubbles, or light sparklers.  We are going to do a bit of that in just a moment.  Just because you've been saved and baptized does not mean that your life will be stress free, trouble free.  But, Jesus gives us what we need to overcome.  In the same way, just because you wear that ring, that symbol of love, does not mean that your marriage will be trouble free.  The bible tells us "when you have troubles…James 1:2-4".  So when you do face stress and struggles you need to cling to God and cling to each other.  When you come through that stuff it is important to celebrate the victories.  When you cling to God and each other it makes you a stronger couple.  ➔     Personal Heather and Brian - Talk a bit about some struggles and how Heather overcame  Breast Cancer Could not have done without support of others.  Friendships and Emotional Support Breast Cancer is History Party Financial Support from Others   Part C: Our Love Key Verse:  My command is this; love each other as I have loved you.  (John 15:12) Return to God's Immeasurable Love In order to understand our love for each other as a couple, let's briefly return back to the love of God.  Remember  we talked about how the width, length, height, and depth of God's love far surpasses our human understanding.  And that God's love is unconditional "by demonstrating His own love for us in this:  While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. (Rom 5:8).  In other words, God loved us before we loved Him.              Action Not A Feeling As you can see God's love is an action and not a feeling.  John explains, "Let us not love in word or in tongue, but in deed and in truth" (1 John 3:18).  In fact God's love is so incomprehensible, that the best way we can define it is to listen to the words of John, "And so we know and rely on the love God has for us.  God is love." (1 John 4:16).    So what do we do with this love?  God commands us to "love one another.  As I have loved you, so you must love one another." (John 13:34).   Now that we understand God's love and His command to show this love toward others, let's talk about how God wants us to put it into practice.  To do this we should turn to what many refer to as the "love chapter" in the bible.  Practical Actions God tells us what love looks like to make it practical in 1 Cor:13.  He tells us that it is patient, kind, does not envy, does not boast, is not proud, does not dishonor others, is not self-seeking, is not easily angered, keeps no record of wrongs, does not delight in evil, rejoices in truth, protects, trusts, hopes, and perseveres.  This is the roadmap for how we are to love one another. ➔     Illustration In the animal kingdom there is an amazing story of loving one another.  It involves an elephant and a dog. "Tarra and Bella", show pics, maybe read and interject One of my favorite children's books is entitled "Tarra and Bella."  It documents a true story of an unlikely friendship between an elephant and a dog.  Tarra the Elephant The elephant, named Tarra, is a retired television star and is released into an elephant sanctuary in Tennessee.  She took on the role of hostess and caretaker of the new elephants that arrived.  She befriended them and showed them around their new habitat.  As the elephants became acclimated to the new area they began to couple off with another elephant leaving Tarra alone.  She didn't mind.  It was as though she had a job and that was to care for the new arrivals.  Bella the Dog One day Bella, the dog, arrived.  No one knows where she came from and elephants are not fond of dogs.  But Bella was not deterred and Tarra seemed interested!  An Unlikely Friendship They became friends, played, ate, and slept together.  It is as if Tarra found a new friend whom she could love and care for.  Her needs were met.  Friendship Test:  Bella's Illness One day Bella was nowhere to be found and Tarra stood still as a statue.  This let the caretakers know that Bella was close by.  She was found and had a spinal cord injury.  Bella was taken to the veterinarian clinic in the sanctuary for medical attention.  Tarra stood in the same spot for several days waiting for her special friend to return.  When she didn't Tarra had the instinct to walk to the veterinarian station.  Bella saw Tarra through the window and whimpered with excitement of seeing her friend.  Tarra heard these sounds and chattered back.  It was clear that the two friends needed one another.  The caretakers carried the dog outside and the two animals were reunited, expressing love through noises and touch.  Bella healed and the two continued their lives together exhibiting a strong bond of unlikely love and friendship.  They overcame obstacles along the way.  This is a miraculous friendship that we can glean quite a bit of lessons from for our own marriages.  One of the big lessons is that Tarra and Bella show love to each other even though they are very different.    So again what does this mean when it comes to others 1.         Do not judge others that are different that we are 2.       Show Kindness and Love to Others 3.       Develop a Purpose in your Marriage that involves others like we have done with Love How Deep   Wrap-Up   ·         Well that wraps it up!  We have covered all 3 Pillars in our miniseries.  We hope this has given you a lot to think about when it comes to continuing to work on yourself, your marriage and your connection with others.  Conclusion FREE "Date Night Ideas" There are several creative and easy Date ideas for you as a married couple to engage in.  We give some brief instruction on how best to enjoy each idea.  Spending Quality Time together will give you a much better chance to strengthen your connection and you will create a memory you won't forget together.  Go to www.lovehowdeep.com/datenight to see several free options.  FREE 10 Practical Communication Strategies This guide will help you as a couple have more effective and connecting conversations.   Closing Thanks for tuning in! We appreciate your time. Stay tuned for our next episode.