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Tickets to the general public June 30th at somethingworthknowing.com. So come build a better world with us on September 16th and experience something worth knowing you can get your ticket at Complexly.info slash something. Hello and welcome to Dei Hank and John. Or as I prefer to think of it Audrey Hepburn, Dei or John and Hank.
Katherine Hepburn. Damn it, I missed the joke. I gotta redo the intro. Hello and welcome to Dei Hank and John.
Or as I prefer to think of it. God I did it again. Damn it. Katherine, I'm ready.
Do it. I did not. Anyway, it's a comedy podcast in which being member of the John, answer your questions for your debuts advice and I'll bring you all the weeks news for both Mars and AFC Wimbledon and also we talk about how we're doing and read you a short poem and tell you about our sponsors and what are you doing John? I'm doing well.
I have a bit of a cold so I'm coming to you today with my husky voice. Okay I'm coming to you today with my half-sprite half soda water from Subway. Oh sponsor. Oh man what I wouldn't give to get some of that sweet sweet half-sprite half soda water money.
I call that splite. Oh god because it's so light because it only has like 70 calories per 12 ounces. Yeah 50 50% of the calories. Oh my goodness.
I can't drink I cannot drink straight sprite anymore. It is so sweet that I have to do this now in order to like even it to me I've gotten to the point where on not watered down fruit juices or sodas to me taste like just ground up Jolly Rancher like pipe straight into my mouth. I have to say I have also lost my taste for full calorie soda. I fear that this is part of middle age encroaching.
I remember being a kid and seeing all of the grown-up drinking diet coke and thinking that there was nothing on the earth satter than these grown-up drinking diet coke and here I am. Yeah our mom would have just bubble water just like flavored but not sweetened soda water. Yeah and I remember one time grabbing one of those and be like well mom likes these and having one and just thinking just how disgusting that was. Yeah me too.
And now I drink it all the time. I drink it all the time. I like the Laquajan. Hey as I speak to you I am drinking a grapefruit Laquaj and it is phenomenal.
I don't know I don't know what was wrong with my teenage taste buds that they couldn't appreciate the subtle grapefruit notes in this Laquaj. So many. Can I read your short poem? Yeah okay do that.
Hank in honor last week we talked about David Bowie's death. It's now been like six weeks since David Bowie died but I've just now gotten the poem together. This is actually the lyrics from David Bowie's song Eight Line Poem. I thought I'd read today in honor of the great David Bowie.
The tactful cactus by your window surveys the prairie of your room the mobile spins to its collision. Clara puts her head between her paws they've opened shops down the west side. Will all the cacti find a home but the key to the city is in the sun that pins the branches to the sky. Eight Line Poem by David Bowie.
It's like David Bowie knew that we were going to need a short poem for today and so he was like well you know it's the 70s in about 45 years somebody's going to need an eight line poem and so I'll write you one. Boom. Well we appreciate it David Bowie and all of your other gifts to our broken and only humanity as well. Hank should we answer some questions from listeners?
First we've got some general feedback about the podcast that I want to check and I want to apologize in advance for all the times I was wrong about science. This one is from Hey Machu says love the podcast bright spot in my week. There's a herd of feral cows on Hayeda Guayi off the coast of British Columbia. I nearly drove into one on a dark night big shaggy thing keep it up.
So there are feral cows out there John and British Columbia that does not surprise me if they're going to be anywhere they will be in BC. Yeah if I were going to be a feral cow or a human being and I could choose any place to live on earth it would probably be British Columbia. Oh really? Well unfortunately you can't.
Probably just because of the it's relatively mild climate and relative to and it's in Canada relative to the rest of Canada. What I'm trying to do is find a way to live in Canada but also live in Hawaii. Ideally Canada would invade Hawaii but short of that I think I'm going to have to live in British Columbia. Alright well I think it would be great if Canada just annexed Hawaii and then and that was and then all the people could have the Canadian laws and Hawaiian weather that would be that would be the best of all things.
You know what Canada doesn't have Hank? What? Pennies. Really?
They got rid of their pennies. They did yeah yeah I heard about it. Yeah I know because they were like you know what we should do we should be rational economic actors in the world and get rid of pennies whereas the United States government is let's keep spending two cents on these suckers that nobody uses to facilitate the exchange of goods. Here is the I recently heard an argument for the existence of pennies that I agreed with.
Oh shut up. Do you I know I know I was shocked as well do you want to hear it? Hold on I gotta have a sip of my grapefruit with quat to get ready for this crap. Okay well I think that you will you will agree to some extent that it is not a terrible reason for pennies to exist.
Okay bring it in a lot of nations that are not America. Yeah they nonetheless use American currency. Correct. And in those places the difference between one cent and five cents is a big difference.
For example a bus fare might be seven cents and going down to five cents would be economically you know would not work for the people running the bus line and going up to ten would be a huge hit to the people who take that bus and so like a one cent increase in bus fares for example often increases and often results in protests and like like significant problems. Okay for a couple things. So I just got to cut you off because you're so wrong. All right.
Okay so in this hypothetical this is a real thing world. I assume we're talking about like maybe Venezuela in 1972. No so but I heard this I heard this in a congressional staffer. There is no place on earth right now where US currency is used for bus fares that are part of the public service of a country other than the United States because nowhere on earth other than the United States is the US dollar in official currency.
So putting the bus example aside there are places where goods are somewhat less expensive than they are in the United States or where less expensive goods are frequently traded or less expensive services are frequently traded in exchange for currency. In none of these places none of them is anything worth a penny because pennies are less than worthless but if that were true and if someone can show me an actual example of that being true I will slightly revise my opinion on pennies to that we should no longer mint them except in so far as there is demand for them and we should begin rounding immediately all of our transactions in the United States to the nearest So we got another question from this is from Allison it's not a question just another comment you both especially John like discussing how many things will lead to widespread death. I really enjoy listening to your comedy podcast yet I find myself wondering if there is really anything in the world that will not lead to widespread death. Yeah Purell.
Yeah I guess I guess Purell will not lead to widespread death but nothing does lead to widespread death like the there will inevitably be widespread death but the question is will there also be widespread birth. Right. That's sort of like will the widespread death be spread out over a relatively long you know normal sort of like or will there be spikes. Spikes is the thing you want to avoid a nice level death rate absolutely fine and wonderful and that's of course what we're going for what we want is for the same number of people to die pretty much every year.
Well ideally we'd like that number to go down and in fact I was sort of shocked to find that it does go down because it seems like oh no you know people die and so with the number of people who get born and the number of people who die and it's just like if it should be the same over time but it's really not the number of people who die per year has decreased substantially. Yeah oh no it's it's so much better to be alive today than it was like 1500 years ago it's almost it's difficult to even calculate it but yeah the global the essentially the global death rate has dropped dramatically like it's dropped by almost half. Right but the thing is like you wouldn't necessarily think that because the rate has decreased that the number has decreased because it seems sort of like well the number of people who die is equal to the number of people who are alive in the long-term. Well the birth rate to be better.
As they live as they also dropped a lot. Yes yeah but as they as people live longer fewer people die per year because you have more years in which you can die. Right so it sort of is counter intuitive and it took me a little while to get my mind around the fact that actually fewer people die per year which is neat. So yes we want the number of people who die per year to go down slowly or as quickly as possible no spikes.
So when we talk about widespread death what we're talking about is spikes in the death which we really do not want those that is what we are trying to avoid and the last comment we have from a listener this is from Lauren who just wants us to know that the insight lander which we talked about being delayed substantially a few weeks ago her father is the lead propulsion person at Lockheed on that mission which is super cool. Isn't that I don't know I just like that the world is small and the people are doing cool things John and and look well I wish her father great luck getting that thing to Mars. All right John let's do some actual questions go. All right Hank we got a question here from Andy who writes dear John and Hank I'm working on a production of The Wizard of Oz and every day after giving the Tin Man his heart the wizard says remember my sentimental friend a heart is not judged by how much you love but by how much you are loved by others this rings false to me.
I would love to know if you agree or disagree with The Wizard and why. Thanks for your question Andy. Yeah so one of the things that I've noticed over the years is that things that sound like aphorisms often become sort of used in common language as if they were true even though when you really look at them they aren't the best example of this to me is from the book Love Story which was turned into this big hit movie it was this you know tragic story really the fault in our stars in some ways I like built as sort of a response to Love Story or trying to like address some of the things that I saw as romanticized in it but it was this huge hit book in the 70s and the famous line from it that was in Common Discourse for decades afterwards was love means never having to say you're sorry which of course is ridiculous. Anyone who's ever been loved but it means constantly having to say you're sorry and that if you don't ever say that you're sorry that's what a meanie you're being to this person you love I do think that there's something about The Wizard's Line here that I find troubling because loving is is important just as being loved is important and I don't think that you can really fully separate them.
Yeah I I don't think that we should take what is written in especially said by characters and books as stuff in it truth I mean obviously The Wizard is supposed to be this big wise man that's probably where the weird wizard comes from now but I think about it from wise-ard he's a wise-ard and but yeah I think that the way that you think about love it should be the way that you think about love. Yeah I just I don't buy the idea that a heart should be judged either way by how much it loves or by how much it is loved. Like who's doing the judging the wizard? Yeah I don't know I'm troubled I'm troubled by that line even though there's a lot that I like about The Wizard of Oz.
I got another question from Brandon who asks Dear Hank and John so you know how California has a water shortage why can't they just hold a big magnifying glass over the sea to create water vapor and then collect that salt-free water vapor and then condense it into usable water love the show well I do know that that in science fiction I have seen this idea it was not used to in the book I'm thinking of it was not used to create water vapor it was used to create a number of other gases and also to build a canal so basically burning a ditch in the earth and and connecting two bodies of water but yeah I mean you would have to have a way of lifting that giant magnifying glass into the air which would be extremely energy intensive and keeping it there the one potential thing you could do is actually put that in orbit or build it in orbit so that it is either a mirror or a magnifying glass that is focusing the sun's energy on the water. Now you are also going to have a ton of ecological consequences here so but like as you are boiling this water you are also heating up the water which means that you're changing the local the local like temperature of the sea dramatically which is going to really affect the the aquatic life there it's going to mess up that and then you have to collect this this water which you probably wouldn't do you would probably just have it rise up and only do it on days when the wind was blowing the direction you wanted to blow and it would fall on the land which is great because you know then you don't have to create any new infrastructure you just recharge the aquifers and the water falls on the crops and it's all good so yeah it is not it is not something that would not work it is probably more energy intensive though than just creating a desalination plant which is extremely energy intensive which is why they haven't done that yet but they might in the long term have to do that in desalination or desalination I think those words mean the same thing is probably in the long term future for California which is kind of scary well I think that everyone should just move right here to Indian emp was where we have tons of water we just we almost have too much of it it's probably probably difficult to move all the all the you know fruit trees that have been growing there for the last 200 years but no they do great here are you kidding we can grow a tangerine like nobody's business here in India it's four degrees outside right now does that affect things at all all right we've got another question this one is from Katherine who writes dear john and Hank I recently saw the movie inside out and it made me think about a quote from the fault in our stars this is a very controversial quote from my novel the fault in our stars by the way Hank the existence of broccoli does not in any way affect the taste of chocolate inside out seems to argue the exact opposite that without sadness we can't truly feel joy I was wondering what you two thought of inside out and its overall message especially with this quote in mind what would our lives be like if we had never suffered is suffering necessary for us to see the beauty in life yeah I feel like John you've thought about this way more than me so like I cannot really wrap my mind around this because I don't know what life would be like if I hadn't lived the way that I have well of course I also don't and I don't know if if joy is sweeter for having suffered or if the more you suffer the sweeter joy becomes what I do know is that a lot of times people use that idea as a way of telling people who are suffering what to feel or as a way of telling people who are suffering what the meaning of their suffering is and that strikes me as dehumanizing and infuriating and I think that's what Hazel was responding to in the novel when she said that but she does say the existence of broccoli doesn't affect the taste of chocolate not the taste of broccoli doesn't affect the taste of chocolate because of course the taste of broccoli does I mean literally affect the taste of chocolate like if you eat it immediately before immediately after like it does it does affect the way that your taste buds respond to chocolate if you had broccoli flavored chocolate or like chocolate with broccoli bits in it then then broccoli which definitely definitely affect the flavor of the chocolate myself I like both broccoli and chocolate so I don't have a problem with this false dichotomy that Hazel was created in my book but anyway I can't speak to what life would be like without sadness I do not however buy into this argument that that we suffer so that we can learn lessons or that we suffer so that we can become you know better more grateful more joyful people I think there are cheaper ways to learn these lessons than the kind of suffering that many people live with and I and I and if that's if I'm wrong about that if some people find comfort or feel that feel that their lives you know become richer through suffering then maybe maybe I'm wrong but I don't what I don't want to do is impose this worldview upon others when they are going through hard times that they may or may not find transformative or useful yeah I mean I think that there a lot of it isn't about joy or suffering it's about the feeling of of like what a good life is and and I'm sort of playing with this idea very you know cursor early here I don't I don't have a lot of I haven't really developed this a lot of reasoning but but it's more about what is seen as a good life and and there is a lot about how we live our lives that isn't really about bringing bringing joy into our lives it's about how to feel as if we are having a good one and you know obviously now we have a great deal more luxury just by virtue of like hot water coming out of our houses and the internet and being able to choose from a number of different cuisines every night that we did not previously have as like Americans and also as humans and and so like it's nice like because those things are like hot water is a great example that is something that most people in America have and most people in America take for granted and what a lovely thing to be able to take a hot shower on a cold day and every time I do that I try to think how lovely it is despite the fact that I've always had that luxury I try to remember what a great luxury it is and that most people who have ever existed have not had that luxury yeah and I see your point that you probably can't appreciate that in the way that someone who is taking their first hot shower would appreciate it I guess for me you know my thinking when I was writing that was how often we we hear these these narratives because of because of the way we construct what constitutes a good life we often hear these narratives of well I went through this and I came out on the other side stronger healthier happier more joyful more grateful whatever but what if there is no other side you know for Hazel there really is no other side there is there is not going to be a time in her life when she is what other people would call healthy you know there is not going to be a time in her life when she's you know completely able body she's not getting better you know she's just living in this sort of stasis where you know she's able to treat her cancer but she's not able to cure it and and I think saying to those you know imagining what constitutes a good life and excluding someone like Hazel is really troubling to me and that's that's where the idea came from I certainly don't want to argue that you know everyone has equal access to the same kinds of joy at all times or anything like that yeah I don't know I myself have mixed feelings about the quote but what can I do the book came out well said John well said I think that that means a lot to me as a person who likes your books a lot and that is a very separate thing of course than the question but I really do appreciate how how intense and weird it is to have four years later have have a book that you know a lot of people love and and to not you know of course not feel like it is in any way perfect or you know something that you something is still something that you have mixed feelings about and like you know obviously I think that you I like that book a lot I've read it a lot like several times since it came out and yeah it's it's so interesting to you know that you are my brother and so I see you as my brother and not like the sort of way I feel about my favorite authors is very different from the way that I feel about my brother and and and yet you are also one of my favorite authors so it is it's always really interesting to hear you talk about the complexities of your relationship with your work thank you I mean it's definitely a difficult thing to have something out in the world for years and years after you were last able to touch it and change it and of course you know I've I've changed and learned since then but you never know if that makes you a better writer or a worse one I always think about W.H. Auden you know later in his life going back and revising all of his poems and and he felt so strongly that he was making them better and he was making them so so much worse there's you know probably the greatest most quoted line of W.H. Auden's poetry is we must love one another or die and he later edited that to we must love one another and die which is more true but less good that's really impressive it's like he forgot what he meant in the intervening years yeah there's a lot of examples like that where you just read the edited versions of the poem and you're just like oh my goodness how did you convince yourself that this was a step in the right direction so my feeling is just that you know my all of my books you know even the day after they come out I have to say to myself like this is something that I did in a period of my life that reflected my very best attempt to you know write the best story I could and that's that's all it is you know like it's a snapshot of that of that of that time of that of the creative output that I was capable of in that moment and or in those years or whatever and that's all it can be and you have to let go of it and you have to let it have a life that's separate from yours I mean one of the weird things about having the Fault in Our Stars come out and reach such a broad audience is that lots of people have interpreted it in ways that I am frankly uncomfortable with you know books belong to their readers but there is still an author out there thinking no no that's not what I meant at all yeah and you just have to live with that you know like if you if you hear from someone that the Fault in Our Stars pop them to be grateful for every day even though Hazel makes one of that within the very text of the novel like you just have to let it go yeah he said clearly not letting it go okay here's another question John it's from Adam who says dear Hank and John you recently you spent a lot of time talking about your apocalypse fears as a geoscientist I was distraught to learn that some of the most exciting and potentially devastating geologic catastrophes didn't make the list John have you considered how far from the Yellowstone Supervolcano you live Hank do you how ready do you think humanity is to deflect a large asteroid if one were discovered to be about to strike us the these along with sudden rapid climate change are my top three apocalypses the ones that tend to keep keep me up at night uh those are all potential apocalypses that I am aware of the Yellowstone Supervolcano does not bug me that much despite the fact that I live very close to wait what is the Yellowstone Supervolcano how is it going to kill all of us and when is it going to erupt so Yellowstone have you ever been the Yellowstone John yep so Yellowstone National Park but I'm never going back one of the most frankly if if the Yellowstone Supervolcano were to erupt I think the Yellowstone National Park would be the best place to be because you want to die fast um oh good lord okay great it depends on which way the wind's blowing literally but the Yellowstone National Park is one of the most beautiful places on earth it is a really a fairly untouched wilderness but one that has a road running straight through the middle of it so that you can go see some of the more spectacular parts of it and those spectacular parts are generally driven by geothermal activity the park itself is mostly inside of a caldera of a volcano that uh I don't know how long ago it was but it was a very long time ago that erupted and um it was like cast ash over the majority of North America all right um it is it is erupted many times uh and and we are aware of uh you know we can sort of see in the geological record uh four or five of those and um it is it is a it is the big it is at least one of the biggest volcanoes on earth it is when you are inside of the Yellowstone caldera you do not feel like you are inside of a caldera because it is so large you basically just feel like there's some mountains around but really you are in a crater that that was formed when a huge like basically you know an area like I would not be surprised if you could fit uh Rhode Island inside of it though I'm sure you can't uh a very large area was just ejected into the atmosphere and um that where what then happens is a long period of time that does not have uh normal amounts of sunlight which changes though weather very dramatically and it potentially would result in um an inability to grow food and that would be the thing that would kill a lot of people in America um it would probably have a really significant global impact as well but uh people there would be a lot of people in America who would just immediately die um just by being buried buried in ash this is not likely though this is not something that happens every five years no this this uh it's you know people will say like we're due for one um but what that means is that they occur within a certain number of years from each other and that we're sort of roughly around like we're inside of the time in which this could happen again but if it were going to happen again there would be a number of tremendous uh geological changes that we would be seeing uh the this these eruptions happen after a lot of pressure starts building up underneath the uh you know the caldera yeah and what you would see is is literally the ground would be rising at the rate of feet or meters per day oh god um so that you're nowhere near that though there there is a you know there is like flex in the the ground in Yellowstone that it will rise and fall by feet and meters per year which is really remarkable and they you know they've only been doing research on this stuff for the last 50 years or so but um we are not seeing anywhere like the kind of geological activity that would result in the elastin superfalt and we're upping um but and so basically my my guess is that we are thousands of years away from the super from from that elk and we're upping all right um and so it is not concerning what about the asteroids asteroids are more of a crapshoot uh which is why i don't concern myself with them uh because you can't really know and what we're doing right now to try and get a better get a better handle on the you know the near earth objects is i think appropriate uh and if if we identified a near earth object that was going to strike earth that was large enough to be concerned with i would actually kind of like to see humanity band together and take care of that because i feel like it's something that we could take care of um and and i would like i would like to see us do it don't you also think though that we might uh we might have a lot of debates about whether the asteroid is really going to hit earth or whether the science might be wrong about this and how this is going to be a future generations problem not our problem no i think i think that nasa probably nasa would find it first they would ask other observatories with on the order of days to weeks to confirm and then it would be confirmed i don't think that it would be it's not it's it's pretty easy to figure that stuff out so you're saying there would be widespread scientific agreement that this asteroid was about to hit earth my my counter argument to that would be uh climate climate change yeah i think that i think that asteroids are much scarier than climate change despite the fact that climate change is actually a much more significant threat and i do agree with adam i was going to say i'm i'm much more worried about climate change than i'm worried about asteroids and that's saying something because i can worry all right uh well i think we've spent a lot of time on adam's question but uh you know it's your hand in john so we can't not spend time talking about the apocalypse uh speaking of which hey did you know that today's podcast is actually brought to you by sudden rapid climate change sudden rapid climate change a thing that many people think is impossible just not scientists this podcast is also brought to you by broccoli flavored chocolate uh something about which john feels ambivalent because in fact broccoli in this case does affect the flavor of chocolate and of course this podcast is also brought to you by california's water shortage california's water shortage don't worry we'll put a huge magnifying glass in space i'll take it care of this episode of your hand john is brought to you by shopify there are a lot of things that stand between i have an idea and this is an idea that actually exists in the world and people are buying things from me and that is what makes it easier when you start with shopify the tools to design and launch and take payments they're all there from day one you don't have to build a whole machine before you can start building the business and this is important because you also have to like look good and with shopify's templates you could get a site set up really quick that looks credible and professional without needing to code or duct tape a bunch of different tools together and when things look real that works on my brain to be like i'm doing a real thing it also works on other people's 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that already work at every scale all you need is the idea shopify handles the rest you can start your free trial at shopify.com slash deerhank start your free trial shopify.com slash deerhank with new subscription only wild supplies last until September 27th 2026 see website for more details one thing i love about summary is how easy everything feels the days are a little more relaxed my kids don't have to wake up at five in the morning and i find myself reaching for the same comfortable go anywhere pieces again and again which is why i keep coming back to quince i often wear either a long sleeve or a short sleeve button down from quince and it fits well and i never have any complaints in fact sometimes i get compliments about it i was at the airport a couple days ago as i often find myself in airports and someone said i like your shirt and i said thanks it's from quince quince is 100 european linen pants and shirts are breathable easy to throw on in the summer upgrade your rotation 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50 off and free daily greens per box with new subscription only wild supplies last until September 27th 2026 see website for more details i love it we're gonna do one last question jon does that sound okay to you sure all right this one is from palah who asks deerhank and john i just found out that the amazing steven cold bear is a fan of the mountain goats that his favorite planet is mars and that he's basically the biggest token geek the world has ever seen i think that's just one step away from becoming a lifelong nerdfighter is there any secret plan that has evolved about how to act in these kind of situations what shall we do crash the late show with an army of puppy sized elephants well you know heck i had the chance to meet steven cold bear um not too long ago and the coolest thing about it i mean i was generally very very impressed with him um he came in and talked to me a bunch about the show he was like i play a character i'm not really that person and i was like i've seen the show man and he was like oh thanks thanks thanks for your support um i was just like do people come here who haven't seen the show anyway uh in between segments of the cold bear report his previous show he played the exact same neutral milco tell song every time and uh he he told i was like i love this song and i love this album and he said uh yeah i love it too he said every uh every taping i try to find someone in the crowd who's singing along with it and lock eyes with them and then we sing the words together and i was like that is so cool steven cold bear that is so like i'm so glad that you told me that after our little bit together because i could not have handled meeting you if i knew it before this is a very unrelated story but i was at a hockey game recently the mazoo has a very small hockey team um and what's the mascot the mazgad is slash uh who's a wolf they are the mollers i'm very ambivalent or i'm just gonna go ahead and say that i do not like that our hockey team is called the mollers and that i'm a mascot as a wolf because there is a lot of like sort of anti-wolf sentiment in this part of the country and i'm not a part of it uh but anyway i uh i was at this this hockey game and uh and shut up and dance by waklimun came on uh one of my favorite songs of 2015 and uh a girl is walking to her seat and she's singing along with just these dead dead eyes and shut up and dance very fun you know sort of summertime and she's just like singing she knows every word but like she's somewhere else she does not know that she's singing along she's thinking about her algebra test and how she did very poorly on it but she is mouthing those words to shut up and dance no problem and i was just like i've never seen a more sad person singing along to walk the moon's shut up and dance heck do you know where waklimun formed uh indianapolis indiana incorrect they formed at my alma mater kenyan college in gambeore oh interesting there you go wow so many famous people coming out of kenyan college so many you those people guys Allison jannie i don't know what that is she's the press secretary on uh on the west wing and also she's been in a million movies oh cj craig yeah i know she's great i love her she's great let's move on to the news from uh marz and afc wimbled and hec do you want to go first or do you want me to or do you want to do rock paper scissors oh i want to do rock paper scissors john all right ready one two three three paper i did paper two okay one two three paper scissors oh did you wait to say scissors until after i'd said paper no no it's just a little bit of a lag oh i don't know i don't know if that was lagged but okay you go first it's just a little bit of a lag all right uh we got some news uh from the federal government on december 18th 2015 and i know that's a little dated now but uh we're catching up still from the break president obama signed the spending bill the budget that funded the federal government through the fiscal year of 2016 which included nineteen point three billion dollars for nasa an increase of one point three billion from last year so uh the a huge hunk of that is going toward uh the line item that includes oryan and the space launch system and that is the new rocket that is going to be taking astronauts to the space station and beyond and beyond includes possibly an asteroid mission also includes possibly a marz mission um and that actually got uh more money than they asked for which is great because uh that is that is sort of on the uh on the trajectory toward getting uh big payload missions to marz bigger payload missions than we've been able to do before and that could potentially include uh having humans involved in those missions so thank you to the federal government for uh continuing to fund nasa and humanities reach into the next uh the next our next foothold in the solar system that could hopefully be marz whoo and congratulations to the united states congress on passing its first budget in like seven years it's just amazing we're so proud of you people said you could never do it that you'd only fund the um fund the federal government for a week at a time um and you did that you kicked the can down the road for like years and years but then finally you did it assigned a budget great work guys in afc wimbledon news hank uh afc wimbledon uh as i'm recording this uh still hasn't played a game since they're astonishing astonishing four one victory over cambered united which was good also for their gold difference but hank uh the under eight team team which i talked about beating new castle uh last week now hank i'm sure you recall uh what happened uh the reason afc wimbledon was formed in the first place right yes i know all about that story and basically that uh there was a team wimbledon fc uh that had a wonderful history going back to the 1800s and then uh it was stolen away from them uh when the english football association the governing body of english football declared that wimbledon fc would be moved um and do you remember where they were moved to they were moved and don't john and don't milton keens yeah that's not ever gonna stick and so they became they called themselves the mk don's because they claim some semblance of history associated with wimbledon which is complete crap and they need to stop saying that but they're just a franchise basically they're not a real football club uh however um they play as if they were a real football club and in milton keens they have some support and i don't begrudge people who supported who began supporting them after the move um anyway long story short occasionally afc wimbledon will play milton keens the franchise uh i once heard by the way hank uh a radio commentary of a game between afc wimbledon and milton keens in which at no point did either of the announcer's to say the word milton the word keens or any of the player names um um they were referred to only as the franchise and they would be like and now the franchise's right winger has the ball and now he has passed it to one of the franchises forwards um it was amazing there is unfortunately still one uh milton keens player who was a wimbledon player and i have never heard a player booed that consistently over 90 minutes in my entire life i felt bad for the kid he was just signing the only professional contract that he had access to felt like he couldn't say no but boy who he has he lived to regret it anyway okay the under-eight team team every time afc wimbledon plays milton keens in any capacity whether it's the you know the seven-year-old girls team the you know the 13-year-old boys team whatever it is it is a big game right because this is the team that essentially forced afc wimbledon into existence by stealing away the club um so it is a big game like it's essentially a game like for instance when uh milton keens and afc wimbledon play uh the afc wimbledon supporters always sing to the milton keens supporters who were you who were you who were you when you were us um uh which which i think puts a nice period on uh on the situation so when the under-eight team team played milton keens it's a big big game even if it's just a youth game and afc wimbledon one two one uh sending the franchise right where it belongs to uh ignominity yeah ignominity yeah yeah who were you when you were us just that is the greatest chant i've ever heard in football i think um it's just so perfect the other one they sing is stand up if you own uh your club because everybody who supports afc wimbledon is also an oven team i should add by the way hank that afc wimbledon uh not because i am uh a celebrity sponsor of the club or anything afc wimbledon sent both of my children christmas cards my children are both members of the junior don's um they sent both of my which cost like 25 dollars a month if you're under 18 you can be a julon not not 25 dollars a month 25 dollars a year if you're under 18 you can be a junior don for 25 dollars a year um if you're over 18 you can own part of the club for only like 80 dollars a year and you get to be an owner of the team and support this great institution anyway they sent henry and allis both cards signed by a bunch of the players including autobio akon fenwa henry's favorite player it was so cool of them they do that every year they send henry and allis birthday cards and christmas cards every year signed by the players it's so sweet it's so awesome i think it says a lot about the kind of club that they are um yeah so i wanted to say thank you for that as well all right i appreciate that thank you to afc wimbledon for being pretty cool i think cooler than most football clubs though that does not necessarily manage to hold my interest they are a lot cooler than most football clubs uh and don't worry all the talk about mars bores me as well all right um thanks uh for podcasting john what have we learned today well we learned that there are feral cows on an island off of british columbia living my dream it's pretty remarkable we learned that uh john green has complicated relationship with the things that he's created and has to just let them go which he cannot do and of course we learned a new reason to fear the end of the world a gigantic yellowstone volcano and or comet coming from space and or rapid climate change and of course we learned that the things that hank and john are scared about it not people dying was that we are in favor of people dying at the same or lower rate than they currently are but what we want to be afraid of are the spikes avoid the spikes we hate the spikes we are strongly opposed to spikes and we learned of course that the wizard of ours is a truly wise art i wonder if that's the actual uh etymology of that word i would be interested to find out and in fact i'm going to find out while you do the outro here well i are i already looked it up it is from wise art really i don't know what an art is but i'm clicking on art uh uh oh it forms a noun it's like saying a wizy guy like a wise guy or a drunkard a drunkard yeah drunkard yeah wizard all right ah ah ah neat thanks for making a podcast with me john and confirming that my etymology is correct you wise art uh that that word by the way art really reached its uh it's pinnacle back at about 1730 and it's been uh steadily declining in significance since but we still have wizard and drunkard that's something all right thanks so much for listening to dear hank and john you can email us at hankandjohn at gmail.com with your questions you can also use the hashtag dear hank and john on the twitter where i'm john green hank is hank green uh podcasts edited by nicholas jankins our theme music is by dunarola and as we say in our hometown don't drink it to be awesome