33: Common Spiritual Differences in Marriage

Welcome back to another episode of the Love How Deep podcast.  We hope as you continue to listen that your marriage is strengthened and that you continue to use God's Word as the foundation for your marriage. 

In marriage where Christianity is the backbone of the relationship, there can still be differences of opinions or beliefs within this aspect of a married couple's relationship.  Today we will discuss some common areas where couples may have different perspectives and our thoughts on what to do about those issues. 

Let's Get Started

1.     Do you both believe that repentance of sins and belief that surrender and following Jesus Christ is the only way to get to Heaven?

This is the big central question in a marriage that hopefully you can answer "Yes" to.  However, what happens when one of you does not believe this?  Well the Bible gives rather clear instructions on this especially for the one who does believe. 

If you are married:  "If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her. And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him. 1 Cor 7:12-13. 

Of course there are exceptions, like infidelity, abandonment, and abuse that are present can be cause for divorce. 

Keys:

If you live with an unsaved spouse you to do the following: 

A.     Pray for Your Spouse

B.     Continue to Serve the Lord Above All Else

C.     Pray for Your Spouse

D.     Love Them and Be Patient

Ok, that was a big weighty issue, so from here it should hopefully get a bit easier. 

2.    Are you able to listen to each other when spiritual differences are brought up? 

Keys: 

·         Active Listening can be helpful here.  Summarize your spouse position with empathy and understanding before moving onto your own. 

·         Spoon Method:  Use a spoon to create a visual element to help slow the conversation down.  Having healthy calm discussions can help you connect and have forward movement.

·         Brainstorm Solutions:  Slowly talk together about choices that need to be made when it comes to these differences.  This is not a time for judgment. 

3.    Did you have same or different Spiritual Upbringings as Children?

Keys: 

·         Understanding and Asking questions each other's upbringing can bring new perspectives to current gridlock.  

·         Frequency of Church Functions:  How much did you attend church functions growing up and what impact did that have on you?

·         Inside the Home:  How was spirituality handled inside the home – i.e praying, bible reading, devotionals etc. 

4.      Do you both attend the same church?  If not, why not? 

Keys: 

·         Attend the Same Church:  We would encourage you to both attend the same church. 

·         Compromise:  Can compromises be made if not? 

·         Spriritual Connection Outside the Church:  If not and you both are satisfied then can you come together outside the church experience such as being in small group together or doing devotionals together. 

5.       Do you both believe in Tithing?

Keys: 

·         Why or Why Not?:  If one of you does not,  can you talk about why you don't? 

·         Make a Plan: Make a plan, the revisit how it is going

·         Move Slowly:  Is it possibly to slowly get toward tithing incrementally if you can get past fears and/or mistrust etc. 

We hope that this discussion around very common issues that couples face when it comes to Spirituality and the Christian faith that we hear.  Obviously there are other issues that can come up, but we believe that what we have talked about today along with some of our keys to handling these possible differences can help you navigate anything else that may come up in this area of your marriage. 

Conclusion

Before you go, we would encourage to pick our:

Core Values Exercise for Married Couples   

It's Free and you can grab it now.  It will help you discover what is important to each of you and to have a very connecting conversation to help strengthen your marriage.

Closing

Thanks for tuning in! We appreciate your time.  Stay tuned for our next episode.