335: Just Boil It

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Tickets to the general public June 30th at somethingworthknowing.com. So come build a better world with us on September 16th and experience something worth knowing you can get your ticket at Complexly.info slash something. And welcome to Dear Hank and John! Nor is that preferred to think of the Dear John and Hank.

It's a podcast where two brothers answer your questions give you the advice and bring you all the weeks news from both Mars and AFC Wimbledon. John, I've heard a lot of people saying that camo pants are really attractive but I just don't see it. Oh, because it's invisible. I didn't like that joke and that's why you didn't hear me laugh.

But in the interest of full disclosure, I feel that I should also reveal that right now, you remember one of my oldest friends, the Peruvian novelist Daniel Lauer Golden. Yeah. Well, Daniel is a huge fan of the Peruvian National Soccer Team, of course. And right now they are in a one-game play where we're going.

Oh, but okay. With Australia to decide which of these two teams will go to the World Cup. You're not allowed to watch football while we make a podcast. I'm not watching football while we make a podcast but it is on in the back.

You have my view and I'm going to touch it. Well, okay. All right. First off, Hank, you cannot very well say what am I to you?

When we talk on the phone, I hear the sound of you typing, not 20% of the time, not 60% of the time, but 99% of the time. It's like talking to a court reporter. Yeah. Well, you know, share tweet.

It's something really funny. Okay. Yeah. Yeah.

And then there like it's so obvious when Hank is doing something else when he's talking on the phone because he's such a poor multitasker that it'll be like six or seven seconds later, fully when he says, yeah. So I'll be like, Catherine's very aware of this. Well, she'll say something and then it'll be like, I'll be like 30 seconds later. I will say, I will respond to it.

But I will like, I will know what she said. It just took that long to get through. I think that's important for you to know, Hank, that Catherine is very aware of this and I am very aware of it. And also everyone you know and love is very aware of it.

There's nobody who doesn't know about it. And we do talk about it. Yeah. This is a little bit like when I said, in passing to someone at my publisher that I love a hotel mini bar and they said, Oh, yeah, we know.

Wow. Do you, are you, are you allowed to say that? I was like, Oh, I have a reputation and they were like, you know, yeah, everybody knows you love a mini bar. You love those P and M and M's at the mini bar.

Oh gosh, I do love P and M and M's. Well, your publisher knows John is very tired right now. I am very tired. The turtles all the way down movie just wrapped.

It was a lot of night shoots. So it was five p.m. to five a.m. working and then I would come home to my Airbnb at six o'clock in the morning and make a frozen pizza and stare into the middle distance and try to sleep and fail and then go back to set.

And that's how we got to now. I am also very tired because I went to a brandy carlile concert in Washington state. It was a five hour drive. Drove there got there just in time for it to start.

It was the longest set she's ever played. There were three opening acts, including sermon, coffee. So it's not like they were like bad, but it was a long show. We're also in a different time zone.

We got had to get to the campground to set up our tent at like one o'clock in the morning. That was done. We were asleep by two and then we were back on the road to get home at six 30. That was maybe, maybe, you know, look, we did it.

It was a lot of fun. We had a great time. We got very goofy on the car ride home because of how sleep deprived we were and we made it safe. So that's all you can ask.

We had a great time. I also had a great time on the Tortles all the way down movie says one of the most fulfilling professional experiences of my life. It was just incredible. And I was so and remained just so grateful for it.

It was really, really special. I hope the movie is good. I think it will be. But even if it's not, I have that memory and it was it was really extraordinary.

The work that the cast and crew did, the commitment that they had, the number of people who took me aside during the filming to say that they also live with OCD or other mental health problems and that the story meant a lot to them. It's just really, really special. So really excited for it to come out and for everybody to see it hopefully. I don't know when or how it'll come out.

I don't know how we watch movies now. How do movies work? I don't know. It'll either be like Top Gun and you can only see it in a theater or it'll be like everything else and you can see it literally anywhere.

Yeah, I think probably it'll be a little less like Top Gun. You're being very sweet just then and I want to say that it's making it harder for me to imagine punching you and are you due to boxing match. Oh yeah. Okay.

So this is this is a big thing. Hank and I have been really thinking hard. We saw the success of the creator clash and yeah. One thing you should know about me and Hank is we are not above copying someone else's success.

Did somebody do something? That is in many ways the foundational concept of our entire careers and also all of human culture just for clarity. Maybe but we are not originators. We simply aren't and we saw the success of this creator clash where all these YouTubers boxed against each other and I immediately was like Hank we should box against each other.

People will love it and it will raise a bunch of money for partners in health and Hank was like that's a terrible idea and I was like is it? I know it's a terrible idea but there's still a little part of me that's like is it? Yeah. I actually don't want to start this podcast with a boxing joke so we could go straight into this conversation but I could not think of a good punchline.

That's the I liked that one. I like that one. I don't have any design. I genuinely like deep down in my heart no matter how deep I dig.

I don't find any desire to hit you. You know? Right. I just don't.

I have punched you in the face but I think it was once when you were being named to me over at Nick's house. It was like 31 years ago. I was a while ago. I had braces because you like cut your hand on my braces.

I think I have a little scar on my finger. And by the way if we do a boxing match you can rest assured I will be getting braces just for the occasion. Oh Lord. So I think that there is something here.

Yeah. And I was surprised by Hank being like hmm. I think that you just rejected out of hand. The problem is that like you are starting at a higher level of baseline fitness than I would be starting at if we did some training.

I think that's true. I think it's definitely true. Just because I have become less fit and you have become more fit over the last five years. I think that you could punch through me like a like I'm a just a piece of baked like a hot knife through butter.

But I just like go right through Hank's midsection and like it would be like in the video game Mortal Combat where like the fist comes out the other side. Right. I'm worried about that. I'm concerned about that.

So you shouldn't be. I think that I want to be able to tag another YouTuber. So for like when I'm feeling like maybe I got like a little bit too many waps. Well you don't want to tag somebody good do you?

I want to tag Tyler Oakley. Okay. Well Tyler is very strong. He's very fit.

He's very small than you. Yeah. If you can tag Tyler Oakley I need to be I need to have a tag team person as well. And I would lean forward to sort of Hannah Hart type of figure.

It's impossible to punch. Somebody who's fast. No one's ever demeaned to Hannah. That's the fastest ferocious and really kind.

Really like lovely hearted so that you just feel horribly guilty. You can't do it. You can't do it. Yeah.

But how many times you can't you can't return a punch. I mean it's just I mean it's to me. One thing I'm absolutely sure of is that both Hannah and Tyler would dominate us in a boxing match. Like it wouldn't even last around.

Yeah. On the other hand. Without the benefit of the physical fitness the training would provide I am into the idea of just having it be a purely academic event. Boring.

Who's going to be a pay-per-view viewer of YouTuber Quiz Bowl. Well maybe there's like some of that happens to you when you get it when you get a wrong answer. I mean you get punched in the face because that's what the people want to see. There's the boxing glove in the podium.

And as soon as you get a rock it pops right out of there like with those like little thingies that crossways hinges. You know what I'm talking about? One of those? Yeah.

Yeah. But I would argue if you're going to do that just box. Like if you're going to get punched in the face by machine just get punched in the face by person. I would look so much rather get punched in the face by a machine.

I love the idea. There's a lot of reasons why I first off I don't think we should do this. Like really realistically if I dig all the way down I don't think we should do it mostly because I don't want to be shirtless. There's no part of me that thinks that we should do this.

I mean there's a little part of it. There's no rational part of me that thinks that we should do this. Might. But.

But. Yeah. Someone in our Patreon livestream that we did right before this for Dear Hank and John said that the tagline for our boxing match could be. Before I give you the tagline can I give you the name?

It's called Clash Course. Clash Course. Clash Course. And then the tagline is gloves on, glasses off.

I mean and then it starts to sound like a good idea. This is the power of a name. The power of branding. I know I'm like we should not do this.

However, Clash Course. Clashes. Clashes. Clashes.

Clashes. Clashes on. Gloves on, glasses off. Might be worth getting beat up for.

As long as t-shirts also on. Yes t-shirts 100%. There's no way I'm going short with a boxing ring. I'm glad to be trained for like a year.

And then maybe. We're like hey we make that we make that like classic video where we're like hey fam. So I'm gonna take a little time away from the YouTubes because I got to focus on my big boxing match. Yep.

As you may know I'm boxing. It's what I live for. It's what I live a breathe. The only thing keeps me up in the morning.

I'm actually leaving my family to move to Miami to train 10 hours a day six days a week for the next year. So you're not going to see me but you can pre-order the fight right now. I'm so into boxing. I live in pre-boxes.

I sniff boxes. I'm spending my nights in a box. I got a box in my room. Days?

I'm in the gym. Nice. I'm at the cardboard factory. I'm in a box.

I don't much. I care about boxing. There is no boxing. I don't love.

Okay. I love boxing. I love unboxing. I love reboxing.

I take things out of boxes. I put them back in the box. Well I'm doing a thing about your face. Everybody knows that's a huge part of the training.

In the same way that like there's a little part of me that thinks I would be a good boxer just because I was the bookwist boxing reviewer for six years. So like there's part of me that's like well I have read a lot of books on the subject. I know what it's about. I know a lot of the strategies.

I know a lot of the characters. I know so many late 19th century characters. So I feel like I could give myself a good nickname just for knowing like the nicknames of all the 19th century boxers like the Freckled Wonder. Oh wow.

The Freckled Wonder. What is John Green? The Bespectical Spectral. John the Spectral Green?

I love it so much. I want to be the spectacle so bad. Oh god. Now we have to do it.

John the Spectral Green. I love it so much. John the Spectral Green faces off one night only live at Madison Square Garden. Why not go big Hank against Hank the Green Giant?

The Green Giant. The Jolly Green Giant because I'm pretty happy. And the Jolly Green Giant Green. That's the other thing.

We're gonna have to set some rules because you are a little taller than I am. But we're pretty much in the same weight class. Like I think you could do this Hank. I don't wear it like the same weight class.

I mean we're both moving up but it's true. Definitely no longer a light heavyweight. All right. This was this was fun.

I don't think we should do it but I kind of do but I don't but a little bit of me does. Let's answer some questions from my listeners. This first question comes from Chris who writes Dear John and Hank this might be a dumb question. I don't know Chris.

I don't know the answer so it's not that dumb but why is the internal of the earth still molten? Like I get that it's not pure molten as you go down but isn't like two ish billion years enough time for the planets heat to dissipate? That heat's got to go somewhere right? Or am I just vastly underestimating the time it takes for the earth to cool down?

Not the main character from the 1996 movie The Quest Chris. I mean there's a lot of Chris's. I know that's not the first one. That one particular Chris is not the first one that would have come to my mind.

In fact I don't know what that is. I would have said not Thor or possibly his brother. I can't tell them apart. Comma Chris.

Well there's so many. There's so there's Chris. You could have said Captain America, Star Lord and Thor. All Chris's.

Also Santa Claus is a Chris. Like you there's a lot of Chris's out there. You could have gone with and yet I've just Googled the Quest and it is a Jean Claude Van Dam movie. Not sure it was a Jean Claude Van Dam movie.

It was directed by Jean Claude Van Dam. I'm sure you know I bet he did a great job. He knows his abilities and toolkit better than anyone else. Not according to Chris.

At what point he does appear to be dressed as a mime which is a bit of a bit of a shock considering the rest of the screenshots from the movie. I'm pretty proud of the fact. Very very orange and oily. Pretty proud of the fact that the Paper Towns movie did significantly better than Jean Claude Van Dam's directorial debut and that with nothing against Mr.

Van Dam, of course, I know he's a big fan of the pod. Heck, why is the Earth still molten? A few different reasons. First of all, the Earth, the crust is a pretty good insulator.

So like space is out there, but it's not easy to get the heat through the crust and radiating out into space. So it is cooling off. It will eventually solidify. I don't know if that will happen before or after the sun consumes us and if it's after it wouldn't eventually solidify.

But like if you just sort of left the Earth on it on it's own, it would eventually be a solid block of uniform temperature. The things that are keeping the Earth warm are the insulation but also a couple of things that are adding heat. They will not add heat forever but they're adding heat right now. One of them, a contributor but not the main one is the radioactive decay of elements.

So they're just radioactive elements decaying and that creates heat. And eventually that process ends because all the radioactive stuff decays. The other is that densities are unevenly distributed in the planet and have been so since the formation of the planet. So heavier stuff is falling toward the core, lighter stuff is moving upward and as that happens, it creates a lot of friction and that is a large contributor to the heat of the interior of the Earth.

Just stuff slide and past itself as the sort of like peanut buttery quality of the interior of the Earth. All the heat creates like sort of not really liquid but not solid rock that is moving around a lot in there as it's trying to reach its final confirmation of most of the dense stuff being in the very middle which is already the case but it's not sort of fully regulated by density from the middle to the outside yet. So is that what happened to Mars? Did like eventually it's not being geologically active because all that stuff happened?

Yeah, the theory is that since Mars is a little bit smaller, it was not as good at holding onto its heat and that shut down plate tectonics which probably means that there's still, you know, we're not entirely sure it's hard to figure it out but that there's still some like areas of, it's certainly hot in the inside of Mars and there's still some areas of like molten stuff in Mars and then there could still be someday volcanic eruption maybe again on Mars. Though it certainly looks like Olympus Mons is quite dormant but the most recent eruption was not so long ago that you would consider it, you know, an impossibility that would happen again. I'm always really fascinated to read historical accounts of volcanoes like around the emergence of the Black Death there were a lot of active volcanoes and people were like as you can tell from the position of Jupiter and whatnot in the sky and these volcanoes that's why we had a plague. Volcanoes must have been, I mean they're still super weird, right?

Like the Earth is spewing hot molten lava out of itself. That is a weird phenomenon. If you pitched it in an alien world, I think a lot of the aliens would be like, I don't like it and it doesn't seem realistic. It's like why would you bring that horror movie stuff to my perfectly pleasant mindscape?

That's how I feel in an earthquake. I'm like I've heard about this but it doesn't seem like something that should happen. I do not like earthquakes. I do not like them.

I do not enjoy an earthquake. I can vividly remember every earthquake I've lived through and I didn't enjoy any of them. Yeah, yeah, you're that. But at least we know kind of what is happening, right?

Like I guess they also thought they knew what was happening but like it must have been so weird. So weird. John, this next question comes from Corey who asks, Dear Hank and John, I ordered pizza once or twice a week and it's always the same guy who delivers it. He's very nice and because I'm a regular, he throws on an orange soda for me for free.

That's amazing. I appreciate his generosity but I do not like orange soda. Like at all. However, I feel I can't really tell the delivery guy that since I have been accepting all these free drinks in my fridge is now about half full with orange sodas.

Any advice on how to proceed would be much appreciated? Orange crushed Corey. That's great. Yeah.

Well, I think that Corey's missing out on the obvious solution here, right? Which is that Corey's like, I don't like orange soda but I would submit Corey that you don't like orange soda yet. Oh, well, look, I don't know that I need to at this point in my life develop a taste for other things that are not healthy. Like I like enough unhealthy stuff to be like, I'm going to develop a taste for this particular way to get a lot of high fructose corn syrup into my body.

I don't know. Yeah, I hear that. I hear that. I think you have a few options that don't involve falling in love with orange soda.

Although I will say when I was on the set of turtles all the way down, one day they ran out of diet Mountain Dew and did I throw a fit and say I am the producer and if you don't have diet Dr. Pepper, you sure as heck better have diet Mountain Dew? No. I drink zero calorie sun-kissed orange soda and it was amazing.

Unfortunately, it was great. It wasn't diet Dr. Pepper great but it was great. Okay, so John likes it.

I think what you need and what we all need is a friend who likes orange soda. That's true. We all do need that. And then and then you'll be like I got a lot of orange soda in the fridge.

You want to come over and play Call of Duty. What do you people do? Yeah, that's what people do. I think that's the main thing they do.

Do you want to play the new season of night fort? Question mark question mark sounds like what's that? I think it's Fortnite but with just the first. Wow.

Night fort would be great. We could come over have orange soda watch our flag means death. Yeah, I think that you should make a Craigslist ad and the Craigslist ad should read as follows. Hey, what's up y'all?

No, we're starting over. Hey, how y'all doing? So listen, I'm Corey and I'm Corey and I got a lot of orange soda in my fridge and about a about a quarter of yesterday's pizza and I'm in need of a new friend. This is a bad idea.

I like searching in search of people who like orange soda and Corey. Here's some other things I like. Just a list. Somebody's got you know somebody who likes orange soda and maybe they will trade you and they will give you a Coca-Cola and exchange because everyone likes Coca-Cola.

It's really but it's not that interesting. No, it is interesting. I really like it. No, because eventually you trade the orange soda up for a house and then you give the house to the delivery driver.

Oh! So you trade your orange soda for like I don't know like a Rolex. That's probably a little ambitious. I don't know how many orange sodas you have though.

Maybe somebody's in the market. It's a really busted up Rolex. It's a really busted up Rolex, but then you get it repaired and then you trade that for a car and then you trade that car for a little house and then you give the house to the delivery driver and you say like I didn't know how else to repay you for all that orange soda. So I got you this house.

Maybe the delivery driver likes orange soda and he wants to come over. Yes, maybe you are supposed to be friends. You know, we get along well and I get the impression that you think people like orange soda. Probably comes from your own personal interest in orange soda and so do you also like old reruns of the tick?

Sure. Great. I think we solved your problem, Corey, on a bunch of different levels. Hank, before we get anywhere further, I need you to know something which is that there are two listeners to this podcast.

We answered their question like a month ago and they took our answer and the part where we say their name and they went to Buildabear which is an American store where you can make a teddy bear essentially from scratch and they built a very cool Buildabear that plays as its one song us talking and answering their question. It's like a teddy ruckspin but with our voices. That makes me very happy. I was thinking about the old days when that kind of thing made it to our ears more easily and it felt like we were sort of constantly collaborating with a lot of people and it feels a little less like that now but I think a big part of that is people just don't with that information doesn't make it to us as often.

Yeah, I think it makes it to me more often because I have more time to read emails and less have to be the boss but you're right. It's really lovely to hear that kind of thing though. So thank you for listening to the pod and responding to it in such a deep cool way. I have a question for you, Hank.

It's from anonymous. Who writes, Dear John and Hank, I'm a high school literature teacher and occasionally a kid will fail in my class and then that kid will still want me to sign their yearbook and I have no idea what to do with that space. Like I want to be funny and encouraging without coming across like a sorry you failed throw pillow. I genuinely like these kids and I want them to leave knowing that they'll be okay and that they still have a lot to contribute to the world even if they didn't like the scarlet letter but that's a lot to put in a yearbook inscription.

So what would you write? It's the end of the year and I'm too tired for personalized sign off. Unautomous. Anonymous, you're a school teacher and what you got a lot on the plate and so what you got to write is stay chill.

Thanks for being a part of our school. Bye. Thanks for taking my class. Never change.

Keep in touch. I feel like I can answer this question uniquely well since I failed junior English. This question was made for me. That's what they said basically and that's I loved I love this question because the part where you say you will be okay and you have lots to contribute to the world.

I think that's it. I think that's what you say. That's beautiful. Even if you didn't even say even if you didn't like the scarlet letter.

What my teacher said to me was you failed this class because you didn't show up enough and you didn't do enough of the work but you are a talented kid. You just need to learn how to do the work and that was what I needed to hear. Like it's a tough lesson. It was painful.

It was scary. I ended up passing the class with a D because I did work over the summer that allowed me to finish and get my diploma and everything. It was it sucked. It's a bad feeling to like especially if you like writing.

It's especially a bad feeling. But I also needed somebody to hold me accountable. I needed somebody to tell me like you can do better work than you're doing right now. Do you want to read a couple of things that I've written in my high school at your book, John?

Sure. Yeah. I didn't know inside my high school at your book. That wasn't a thing at my school.

Hank, I just oh wow. Well, I can't read that one. Okay. Great.

Sorry. I want ones from people I don't know. I don't want to hear your best friends who I'm still buddies with said. I want to hear like what your 732nd best friend said.

Well, I don't know who this person is. But they said, Hank, thanks for a great year in history. You made it truly memorable. Your quote in audible comments and interesting thoughts were so funny.

Great. So that's a class made or teacher. Apparently I didn't been that guy the whole time. Was that the teacher?

That was I believe a classmate. This was well, Hank. I don't know if I already signed or where but it doesn't. And that's the whole thing.

They were like, I want you to be the kind of person for whom I finish sentences but. This person who I can't read their signature said SElizabeth, it's been a it's been a good year. Yada yada. I don't know what yada yada means.

Oh yeah. Why oh, t.t.a. Not yada yada but yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada. It's been a good year yada yada.

Even yada. It's not really a yada yada moment. Like a big year. Oh my god, John, this one says, dear Jean, been a pretty stiff year.

Just didn't have the right one. Didn't have the right one. Was your nickname Jean? No, definitely not.

Wow, Definitely not. You've got some duds. Yeah, what's up Hank? It was fun being with you in classes this year.

Have a high summer David. Hmm. What do you mean David? I know David.

No, I know David. I know David's hobbies. Oh, well, there's, there's. It goes on.

It goes on. This one is from Leon who says Hank, how are you? You're a pretty cool guy and a good person. Thanks for letting me rest my head on your shoulder in my time of need.

Oh, that's very sweet. I feel like you let me rest my head on your shoulder in my time of need. It's possible that that has happened. I need you just, but, but, but it's over.

That's enough. We're, we're, we're veering toward a new podcast called Hank Green Relive High School. Yeah, I'm done. All right.

We have another question from Roe who writes, Dear John and Hank, I have TMP-B too much peanut butter. What do I do? Well, Roe, in this respect, it turns out that you are rather like the center of the earth. Also, according to Hank has too much peanut butter.

I recently purchased a couple of large jars of Jeff Extra Crunchy peanut butter, but now it has been recalled. So I can't eat it. Oh, yeah. What are the other potential uses for this peanut butter?

I feel like you could probably just stick a wick in it and make a candle, right? Can you really? That's got to work, maybe. Maybe.

Can you really? No. No, almost. Definitely not.

If you have the kind that like got the oil on top, you could probably dip that, dip a wick in that and burn that oil. Maybe. Not Jeff Extra Crunchy. That stuff.

All got all the emulsifiers in it. So you're going to pull the oil out. Look, look, look, look. Your peanut butter has been recalled.

I'm not going to tell you to do anything with it. I'm worried for your health and safety. I was going to maybe say like a mask, like a sleep mask, but that might get in your mouth. Maybe you'll get facial salmonella, which sounds horrible.

That's not bad. But in general, it probably isn't healthy to put a bunch of peanut butter on your face. Yeah, I did it a bunch of times and it's never as fun as you think it's going to be. Wait, why did you do it a bunch?

Oh, never mind. I used to do it for a vlogbrothers in joke. Like I'm better dripping off my face. It's so amazing.

Every single time I'd be like, my face is like a little bit swollen. Like I don't think I'm going to beat it. Maybe it is. Yeah.

Oh, interesting. What always surprised me about that was the melting point of peanut butter, obviously, is right around human body temperature. So it just started out being sort of manageable, but then as time goes on, it just gets very shiny and wet. Yeah.

It's so gross. So don't do that, bro. I might, and this is, I might throw it away. If it has salmonella in it and it doesn't work as peanut butter, I don't think it's a situation where you can be like, Corian, invite somebody over to have your potentially salmonella-ish peanut butter while you watch.

I think you've got to throw it away. Well, if salmonella, one of the ones that gets okay if you heat it up, can you boil the peanut butter? So it's a lot of work. It's a lot of work.

Run it through the butter. Run it through the butter. Just get all the salmonella out. Yeah.

Yeah. And then when you get salmonella poisoning and you're having to like explain it to the local health authorities when you're in the hospital, you can be like, I don't know, man, Hank and John's holding you to just boil it. So I went to a website, it's called 12 Things to Do with a Jarr if peanut butter, and you will be unsurprised to find that every single one of them is a delicious edible treat. It's not like, just not a lot of...

Just not like, strip the paint off your car. No, it's like not in there. Just like pie, little dessert bars, a smoothie cookies, some pad thai. Yeah, I mean, you can't even like...

John, do you know about the time that I almost died? I know about a few times. With peanut butter? The peanut butter one?

I didn't know that you almost died of peanut butter? Well, I walked into my girlfriend whose name is Catherine, it's not my wife. I walked into her apartment. I was going to say, you only had one real girlfriend.

I walked into her apartment and nobody's around. And so I go to the kitchen where there's food and on the counter there's some cookie dough. And I'm like, I'm going to have some of this. Which you're not supposed to do, but like, hey.

Yeah, everybody does anyway. And then her roommate comes out and she says, Hank, did you eat that? And I said no. Yeah, because why?

Because I was never doing that. Why would I eat just random cookie dough? That's likely not mine. I don't know who it is.

And also there's making a tax in it. That would be bad. And they're like, no, seriously, did you eat some of that? And I was like, yeah, yeah, I did it.

It wasn't good. Just so you know, it's pretty bad. And like, I don't like I don't know who's doing what, but like that's probably we shouldn't make those cookies because either it's not done or it's something went wrong. And they're like, yeah, that's because that's for killing the ants.

Oh God. Because it's peanut butter mixed with aunt poison. Oh my God. So I'm going to do the hospital?

No, I was just sort of like left me under observation for a little while, but I was fine. Well, I'm glad that you were okay, but don't don't use it to kill the ants. If you're trying to kill something, maybe that's when it makes sense to use the salmon butter. Yeah.

But short of that, I don't think that I would use it personally. I think that's something I think that you have to say to yourself this darn world. Did I ever at least we know when we're about to be poisoned with people in the past just ate it. That's right.

Did I ever tell you about the time that I almost died from ingesting peanut butter? No. Well, I don't think the story is for the podcast, but I'll tell it real quick. I just told Hank the story of my experience with getting really sick from eating butter, which is unbelievable.

I have told everyone that it's not allowed, but it's not because of how gross it is, which it is quite gross, but because there's people involved who have not been sent to being in the story. Totally. It's true. It's very true.

Yes. There's people who probably wish to be removed from John and Hank peanut butter discourse, and they have that right. Yeah, that's right. Good for you and tuna.

Glad you and tuna got the story. Anyway, that reminds me of Hank that today's podcast is brought to you by Hank Green. He'll eat anything. He will.

He will. Yeah. People just my friends sometimes call me a garbage can. Yeah.

He's a garbage can of all the people with ulcerative colitis. He's the one who will eat anything. I just love food. It's so good.

This podcast is also brought to you by the clash course. Clash course gloves on glasses off. And of course, in addition to being brought to you by Hank Green, the mean green fighting machine, the jelly green giant, the green bean from Missoula in from the scene. Oh, that's it.

The green bean from the Missoula scene today's podcast is also brought to you by John Green, the spectacle. John Green, the spectacle. It's been all downhill from there, John. I don't know why we kept making a podcast.

This pops. This pops. This pops. This pops.

It comes from Jean who I got a message to them in my yearbook and I never noticed it until now. I'm sorry, Jean. I should have let you know a message. Whoever that was.

Okay. Well, Jean, never change. We also have a project for us a message from Sage and to Kobe. I've always wanted to get a shout out to embarrass you like a good sibling.

Thank you for introducing me to Vlogbrothers all those years ago. The looking back Hank Humpeng things in Missoula is a weird introduction. And thank you for being a great brother and friend. We someday will start our own Dear Hank and John podcast clone, where you can talk about Nintendo news and I can talk about something love, Sage and, that's so beautiful.

And the only thing that I would add to it is have y'all considered a sibling boxing match for charity? Yeah. I mean, this is what John is what I want. No, it was perfect.

That was perfect. That was super helpful. If you want to know what it's like to talk to Hank on the phone, it's like that. I was getting the next question ready.

That is the next question ready. No, that is the first off. I don't think you're getting the next question ready. You're an amazing person and podcast partner.

Yeah. that everyone can tell. I think that you don't know that everyone can tell. Oh, I don't.

People can tell. So this episode of Your Hank and John is brought to you by Shopify. There are a lot of things that stand between I have an idea, and this is an idea that actually exists in the world and people are buying things from me. And that is what Shopify makes easier.

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It's built to help customers finish the purchase effectively and efficiently without a bunch of roadblocks. Returning customers can check out with a single click. That means less friction and fewer abandoned carts and a smoother experience for everybody. That stuff gives you confidence early on, and it gives other people confidence in what you're doing.

You're not wondering whether the payment system is going to work. You're not wondering whether customers can get through the process. Shopify handles that foundation so you can focus on the thing that you're actually trying to do. It's really kind of amazing to me that Shopify is a tool that works from the first day your store launches when you're just starting to get customers all the way up to being the size of good.store or dftv.com, or being the size of like Mattel and Gymshark.

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See you website for more details. Yes. Now this next question isn't a question. It's just a piece of news.

It's from Addie who says, Darianne and John. I'm about to move across the country. My mother is flying on to help me drive. She and my dad are triple A members and they are bringing me new trip ticks for the drive.

Whoa. That's awesome. So there are still tryptics which are these things you can get from triple A where they give you page by page instructions on how to make your way through the world. Wow, page by page instructions on how to make your way through the world if triple A would provide that for me, I would definitely be a member.

Yeah. Who can make that for me? Just tell me how to make the hard decisions. It's like there's construction coming up.

There's a bit of a traffic jam ahead. Yeah, right. There's a, so there was a thing on TikTok where people were sharing their surprisingly deep quotes from unlikely sources and I quoted that great Nintendo Quit screen line that T. Michael Martin used in his book The End Games.

The line is everything not saved will be lost. Yeah. And somebody in the comments quoted said that their senior quote in their yearbook was from Google Maps and it was something like, there is unexpected traffic ahead but you are still on the right path. It's like perfect.

It's ideal. Yeah. That is what I want to have whispered to me all the time. There may be unexpected traffic ahead but you are still on the fastest route.

Yeah. Oh, goodness. Hank, it's been a great week for anonymous. I've got another question from anonymous who writes, dear John and Hank, I would like to remain anonymous for this question in case someone from my family is listening.

I'm 14 years old, which is peak. I'm afraid everyone I know is listening. But I remember being 14. It was probably the hardest thing I've ever had to do.

My cousin has a switch and a PS4. How do I learn to be grateful to God for what I have? What are some good ways to earn money for a 14 year old? DFTBA anonymous.

So two questions here. One is how do I learn to be grateful for what I have instead of focusing on others have? And the second question is how do I make some money so I can get that switch? Yeah.

So first of all, what you need to know is I probably didn't even need to anonymize this because the number of people who are in the situation who have your exact name is probably pretty big. Because a lot of people- Almost everyone has this problem. Well, yeah. But even the specific situation of not having a switch and a PS4, whereas somebody else nearby has both, it is a- And they probably don't even use it that much.