343. Rethinking Confidence: Your True Self Is Already Confident

In today’s episode, Emme and I cozy up (apron, brown sweater, holiday chaos and all 😅) to talk about something so many women quietly struggle with—confidence. Especially in midlife, it can feel like your self-assurance has just… slipped away. Your body is changing, your roles are shifting, and suddenly you’re questioning things you never used to. But what if confidence isn’t something you earn by looking a certain way, achieving a certain goal, or finally “getting it together”? What if confidence is actually your natural state—and the real work is learning how to strip away everything that blocks it? We unpack a different way to see confidence: not as your ability to do anything, but as your willingness to feel anything. Embarrassment, disappointment, shame, vulnerability—your capacity to sit with those emotions, instead of avoiding or overthinking them, is what creates real confidence. We talk about people-pleasing, perfectionism, overthinking, shrinking back, and why trying not to feel disappointed is the very thing that keeps you stuck in disappointment. You’ll also hear: Emme’s honest story about losing (and then finding) confidence while planning her wedding My very first Thanksgiving as a hostess, Martha Stewart expectations, and instantly bursting into tears when my family walked in the door Why vulnerability is not weakness—but the doorway to true connection, safety, and joy in your relationships If you’ve ever walked into a room and wondered, “Why does everyone else seem so confident except me?”—this one’s for you. Your confidence is not missing. It’s just been covered up. Why midlife often triggers a “confidence dip” for women A new definition of confidence: your ability to tolerate and feel hard emotions How overthinking, people-pleasing, and perfectionism quietly block your true self The difference between ego-based “confidence” and grounded, humble confidence How vulnerability actually makes people feel safer and closer to you Simple ways to start accessing the confidence you already have Check out the NIV Application Bible here ⁠https://tinyurl.com/HOJNIVAppBible⁠ and use code HOJ at checkout for an additional 10% off!!  Visit https://tinyurl.com/RONOmahaSteaks for 50% off sitewide during their Sizzle All the Way Sale. And for an extra $35 dollars off use promo code FUN at checkout! Please donate at https://tinyurl.com/RONMercyShips  Interested in advertising on this show? Learn more here! ⁠https://docs.google.com/forms/d/16V_c91F1iIYNZOVvrEinrB9h2dsZq-kZFqYYEDQ4A60/edit⁠  In This Episode, We Talk About: Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices