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35. Don’t Be a Doormat or a Bully episode artwork

Feb 20, 2026 24 min

35. Don’t Be a Doormat or a Bully

from Balance your Brain: Couples Therapy and Relationships with James Christensen Hosted by James Christensen

Catherine Roebuck and I talk about how to ask your partner to change without triggering their defenses, starting from everyone's drive for autonomy. In this conversation: "Persistent drive for autonomy" as a kinder term for pathological demand avoidance Warm acceptance vs. cold judgment Why the brain doesn't change when it feels controlled Making a request without deciding they have to say yes Ramping up your distress to get a response "Do you want me to be a doormat?" Finding the option that's actually yours With Catherine Roebuck. Listen on Spotify or Apple Podcasts, or watch on YouTube. Read the full transcript

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Catherine Roebuck and James Christensen on the persistent drive for autonomy, and how to avoid being a doormat or a bully.

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35. Don’t Be a Doormat or a Bully

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This episode was published on February 20, 2026.

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