PODCAST · society
Balance your Brain: Couples Therapy and Relationships with James Christensen
by James Christensen
Couples therapist James Christensen, LMFT talks about love, marriage, and relationships: why couples keep having the same fight, how to rebuild trust after an affair, what narcissism and anxious attachment look like up close, and how to grow up inside your marriage instead of waiting for your partner to change.Many episodes are conversations with Catherine Roebuck. Other guests include Dr. Dave Jenkins, Dr. Corey Allan, Chad Fraga, and Audrey Schoen. Much of the show draws on Crucible Therapy, the approach developed by Dr. David Schnarch.James sees couples in Roseville, California, and online. Episode notes and transcripts: jamesmchristensen.com/podcast
Episodes
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39. Alex Vs A-Rod
Professional baseball player Alex Rodriguez credits Dr. David Schnarch with having saved his life. In this episode, James Christensen and Catherine Roebuck talk about episode 3 of the HBO documentary Alex vs. A-Rod, which describes Alex's work with Dr. David.
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39. How David Schnarch Helped Alex Rodriguez (HBO’s Alex vs. A-Rod)
Professional baseball player Alex Rodriguez credits Dr. David Schnarch with having saved his life. In this episode, James Christensen and Catherine Roebuck talk about episode 3 of the HBO documentary Alex vs. A-Rod, which describes Alex's work with Dr. David. Watch on YouTube
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38. Is there ever a good reason to yell at your kids?
James and Catherine discuss why yelling at kids is harmful, except in rare moments of immediate danger, and how parents teach far more through their example than through punishment or harshness. They explore autonomy, emotional regulation, and the long-term impact of parenting, arguing that...
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38. Is there ever a good reason to yell at your kids?
James and Catherine discuss why yelling at kids is harmful, except in rare moments of immediate danger, and how parents teach far more through their example than through punishment or harshness. They explore autonomy, emotional regulation, and the long-term impact of parenting, arguing that...
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37. Taking Off the Mask in Your Marriage
Catherine Roebuck: https://catherineroebuck.com James Christensen: https://jamesmchristensen.com IN THIS EPISODE: Why revealing the messy stuff in your mind builds trust — but only when paired with responsibility and thoughtfulness about timing and impact The case for telling your partner about…
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37. Taking Off the Mask in Your Marriage
IN THIS EPISODE: Why revealing the messy stuff in your mind builds trust, but only when paired with responsibility and thoughtfulness about timing and impact The case for telling your partner about an affair: the harm already exists whether you reveal it or not, and secret "cleanup" is just...
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Healing Trauma with Catherine Roebuck
Catherine Roebuck joins me to talk Trauma. James Christensen: https://jamesmchristensen.com Catherine Roebuck: https://catroebuck.com Listen on Spotify Listen on Apple Podcasts Watch on Youtube Roseville Couples Counseling 300 Harding Blvd suite 108, Roseville CA 916-292-8920 Listen to Balance…
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36. Healing Trauma with Catherine Roebuck
Catherine Roebuck and I talk about how trauma gets stored in the brain and what helps it heal. We recorded this on March 30, 2026. In this conversation: Why overwhelming experiences get sealed off instead of connected to the rest of your life, and why young children have so few options besides...
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Don’t be a Doormat
A conversation between James Christensen and Catherine Roebuck Catherine: We were talking the other day about pathological demand avoidance — with neurodivergent clients and their partners — and you offered a different term that I just loved. James: Yeah. The other term is persistent drive for...
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35. Don’t Be a Doormat or a Bully
Catherine Roebuck and I talk about how to ask your partner to change without triggering their defenses, starting from everyone's drive for autonomy. In this conversation: "Persistent drive for autonomy" as a kinder term for pathological demand avoidance Warm acceptance vs. cold judgment Why the...
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Loving on Purpose: A Conversation with Catherine Roebuck
https://jamesmchristensen.com catroebuck.com James: Loving from the heart and loving unilaterally is fundamentally an adult task, not a childhood task. Catherine: When you first told me that, my reaction was, "Well, I know kids can love—I felt a lot of love as a kid. I felt love from my kids."…
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34. Loving on Purpose: A Conversation with Catherine Roebuck
Childlike Love vs. Adult Love Children can love. But what children do is take warm, pleasant, affectionate feelings and do actions that align with those feelings. When a child feels good toward you, they act good toward you. That feels like love. Most adults do it the same way. Early in a...
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33. Relational Life Therapy with Audrey Schoen
Audrey Schoen joins me to talk about Relational Life Therapy. Roseville Couples Counseling 300 Harding Blvd Suite 108 Roseville CA 95648 916-292-8920
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33. Relational Life Therapy with Audrey Schoen
Relational Life Therapist Audrey Schoen and I compare Terry Real's Relational Life Therapy with Crucible Therapy. In this conversation: Personal responsibility in both approaches Healthy separateness vs. unhealthy separateness "I don't feel safe" and "I'm getting triggered" Normal marital sadism,...
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32. How I run my couples therapy practice in Roseville, California.
Transcript: Matt: On today's show, we have James Christensen with Roseville Couples Counseling. He provides therapy for couples—husbands and wives, marriage counseling.1 So James, thanks for being on today. It seems like our society is in a crisis when it comes to marriage. It just doesn't seem...
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32. How I run my couples therapy practice in Roseville, California
A radio interview about why marriage is hard, how I work with couples, and what happens in a first session. In this conversation: Why people quit marriage, or quietly quit while staying What happens in a free first session Coming in four weeks in a row, then less often Getting used to feeling the...
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31. How to Rebuild Trust after Infidelity
Three legs of the stool for rebuilding trust after infidelity. In this conversation: Your partner stops cheating and starts behaving in a more trustworthy way You learn to read your partner more accurately You build trust in your ability to take care of yourself, no matter what your partner does...
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30. A Therapist’s Escape from Narcissism
In this episode I talk about how I came to see myself as unusually narcissistic, what narcissism protects against, and what it has taken to grow out of it: fragility, superiority, and indifference, and the work on each. Read the full transcript Watch on YouTube
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29. The Buddhist Approach to Attachment Panic
Catherine Roebuck and I discuss chapter two of Bruce Tift's Already Free: staying with attachment panic instead of rushing to change your circumstances. In this conversation: Describing what I feel in my body, and being the witness Why panic feels like an emergency, and breathing into it Seeking...
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28. Why you Don’t Feel Safe
Catherine Roebuck joins me to discuss Chapter 1 of Bruce Tift’s book “Already Free.” Roseville Couples Counseling 300 Harding Blvd Suite 108, Roseville CA 916-292-8920 Transcript James: Let's start with a quote from Already Free by Bruce Tiff. "Most of us are, in a variety of ways, living in the...
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28. Why You Don’t Feel Safe: Bruce Tift’s Already Free, Chapter 1
Catherine Roebuck and I discuss chapter one of Bruce Tift's Already Free, and why so many of us live in the present as if it were the past. In this conversation: How kids learn to detach from or suppress experiences that are too intense Turning aggression inward, outward, or disconnecting Parents...
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27. Powerful Parenting with Aron and Kristin
Kristin Areglado Hurley: https://www.karegladohurley.com/ Aron Carlson: https://childandfamilymentalhealth.com/aron-carlson/ Parenting Workshop: https://www.international-crucible-education-center.org/parenting-workshop Transcript: James: My guests today are Aron Carlson and Kristen Alado Hurley,...
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27. Powerful Parenting with Aron and Kristin
Aron Carlson and Kristin Areglado Hurley join me to work through a case: two parents in conflict over their five-year-old daughter. In this conversation: The case: Eliza, John, and five-year-old Sophie How each parent was functioning, and what each was mapping in the other A father who presents...
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26. Crucible Therapy with Dr. Dave Jenkins.
Listen on Spotify Listen on Apple Podcasts Watch on Youtube James Christensen: https://jamesmchristensen.com Transcript: James: I was wondering if you'd be willing to tell me some of your memories of Dr. Schnarch. What first impressed you about him and what your relationship with him was like?...
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26. Crucible Therapy with Dr. Dave Jenkins
Dr. Dave Jenkins shares his memories of David Schnarch and talks about how he uses Crucible Therapy, including in the law enforcement community. In this conversation: What it was like to know and train with Schnarch How Crucible work fits with his faith Using Crucible ideas in law enforcement…
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25. Making Moves in your Marriage with Jackie Aston
Jackie Aston: https://jackieaston.com James Christensen: https://jamesmchristensen.com Listen on Apple Podcasts Watch on Youtube Jackie Aston: https://jackieaston.com James Christensen: https://jamesmchristensen.com Jackie Aston is a licensed psychotherapist with over a decade of experience…
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25. Making Moves in your Marriage with Jackie Aston
Therapist Jackie Aston and I talk through a couple's fight over a shelf, and how taking the victim position can be a way of controlling from the bottom. In this conversation: Victim, perpetrator, and rescuer roles Victim as a position: how can I get someone to see me a certain way? Withdrawing as…
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24. Calm the heck down with Dan Purcell
Sex and intimacy coach Dan Purcell and I talk about why pushing your spouse to change backfires, and what to do instead. In this conversation: Dan's story of leaving a marriage book on his wife's pillow Zooming out to see the relationship as a system Resisting a partner's pressure as a fight for...
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23. Introduction to Crucible Therapy with Catherine Roebuck
Listen on Spotify Listen on Apple Podcasts Watch on Youtube James Christensen: https://jamesmchristensen.com Catherine Roebuck: https://catroebuck.com Transcript James: Why is this called Crucible therapy? Catherine Roebuck: The crucible metaphor comes from metalworking. A crucible is a…
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23. Introduction to Crucible Therapy with Catherine Roebuck
Catherine Roebuck and I talk about where the name Crucible Therapy comes from and what its core ideas look like in everyday life. In this conversation: The crucible metaphor from metalworking, and why it has nothing to do with religion Differentiation as having a self while being close to someone...
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22. Healthy Male Sexuality with Heather Matthews
Healthy Male Sexuality with Heather Matthews and James Christensen Listen on Spotify Listen on Apple Podcasts Watch on Youtube Transcript Heather Matthews: I'm really passionate about this idea around men and shame around their sexuality. I work with a lot of men in my practice, which I really...
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22. Healthy Male Sexuality with Heather Matthews
Therapist Heather Matthews and I talk about healthy male sexuality: desire, pleasure, and what makes sex satisfying. In this conversation: Why some men shut their sexuality down with shame Why good sex takes work Spontaneous and responsive desire Appreciating your desire instead of fearing its...
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21. Regression and Revisualization
Catherine Roebuck leads James Christensen through three revisualization exercizes. This episode explains David Schnarch's teachings about regression and how to use revisualization exercises to improve the way your brain works. Listen on Spotify Listen on Apple Podcasts Watch on Youtube
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21. Regression and Revisualization
Catherine Roebuck explains regression, David Schnarch's term for reduced brain functioning, and we walk through revisualizations of difficult memories. In this conversation: Acute regression vs. steady-state regression Working with the physical sensations of regression How we tell ourselves we're...
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20. Parental Blindness
Catherine Roebuck joins James Christensen to talk about dealing with parental blindness. Listen on Spotify Listen on Apple Podcasts Watch on Youtube
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20. Parental Blindness: Why We Can’t See Our Parents Clearly
Catherine Roebuck and I talk about parental blindness: why children can't see the worst of what their parents do, and how it shows up in our own parenting and marriages. In this conversation: Why we're programmed to see our parents through a fuzzy lens Emotional punishment, and how hard it is to...
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19. Moving from Anxious Attachment to Secure Attachment
Catherine Roebuck lays out how to create secure attachment with yourself and with your partner. Listen on Spotify Listen on Apple Podcasts Watch on Youtube
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19. Moving from Anxious Attachment to Secure Attachment
Catherine Roebuck lays out a path from anxious attachment to secure attachment, with yourself and with your partner. In this conversation: Catherine's adaptive cruise control metaphor for insecure attachment Anxious and avoidant as two people processing anxiety through the relationship Why adults...
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18. Getting Clear on your Parents
James Christensen: https://jamesmchristensen.com Catherine Roebuck: https://catroebuck.com Listen to Balance Your Brain Podcast on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2PC7NKPstyNi08TNfYcyaT Listen to Balance Your Brain Podcast on Apple Podcasts:...
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18. Getting Clear on your Parents
Catherine Roebuck and I talk about why seeing your parents clearly is so hard, and why it matters for your own life and marriage. In this conversation: Why a child's brain doesn't focus on its parents' flaws Why people who have cut off their parents are often still controlled by them How limited…
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17. Improve Your Functioning
How to function better in your relationship with: Catherine Roebuck James Christensen Listen on Spotify Listen on Apple Podcasts Watch on Youtube James: So if I improved my functioning significantly, how would, you know? So like, say you and I meet up a year from now and you're like, wow, James,...
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17. How to Function Better in Your Marriage
Catherine Roebuck and I talk about what it looks like to improve your brain functioning, and how one person's functioning affects everyone around them. In this conversation: What Catherine noticed in me after six months apart Being present with what you're actually doing, instead of worrying...
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16. Infidelity: The Coldplay Affair
Catherine Roebuck and James Christensen discuss infidelity in the light of the Coldplay affair. What does it take to heal a relationship after infidelity? Why is infidelity such an important cultural touchstone? What is the path forward for the couple that got caught on the Coldplay kiss cam?...
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16. Infidelity: The Coldplay Affair
Catherine Roebuck and I talk about the Coldplay concert affair and what it shows about infidelity, public humiliation, and whether couples can recover. In this conversation: The public humiliation of being cheated on, and the pressure to leave Hysterical bonding after an affair comes out Looking…
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15: Courageous Love
Catherine: The thing I’ve been thinking about is that mature love is courageous love. Infatuation and validation trades don’t require courage. Loving like a grown-up does. Absolute safety is a childlike expectation of love. If you had very brave, very grown parents, you might start life feeling...
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15. Courageous Love
Catherine Roebuck and I talk about mature love as courageous love, and why expecting absolute safety from a partner is a childlike expectation. In this conversation: Courage as being afraid and doing it anyway Building a solid self before you can feel safe in a relationship Self-soothing and...
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14: Live your Way to a Better Marriage
Join James Christensen and Dr Corey from Sexy Marriage radio for a discussion of how marriage helps us grow. Dr. Corey Allan: https://smr.fm James Christensen: https://jamesmchristensen.com
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14. Live Your Way to a Better Marriage with Dr. Corey Allan
Dr. Corey Allan and I talk about David Schnarch, differentiation, and what it takes to keep growing in a long marriage. In this conversation: Memories of Schnarch's trainings, and how openly he talked about his own marriage Why the differentiation model is paradoxical and counterintuitive…
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13. The Power of Authenticity with Steve Thatcher
With Steve Thatcher. We talk about Models by Mark Manson. Listen on Spotify or Apple Podcasts, or watch on YouTube. Watch on YouTube
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12: Narcissism 101
Daniel Robertson joins me for a discussion about narcissism, how to heal narcissism, and how narcissism affects relationships.
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ABOUT THIS SHOW
Couples therapist James Christensen, LMFT talks about love, marriage, and relationships: why couples keep having the same fight, how to rebuild trust after an affair, what narcissism and anxious attachment look like up close, and how to grow up inside your marriage instead of waiting for your partner to change.Many episodes are conversations with Catherine Roebuck. Other guests include Dr. Dave Jenkins, Dr. Corey Allan, Chad Fraga, and Audrey Schoen. Much of the show draws on Crucible Therapy, the approach developed by Dr. David Schnarch.James sees couples in Roseville, California, and online. Episode notes and transcripts: jamesmchristensen.com/podcast
HOSTED BY
James Christensen
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How many episodes does Balance your Brain: Couples Therapy and Relationships with James Christensen have?
Balance your Brain: Couples Therapy and Relationships with James Christensen currently has 50 episodes available on PodParley. New episodes are automatically indexed when they're published to the podcast feed.
What is Balance your Brain: Couples Therapy and Relationships with James Christensen about?
Couples therapist James Christensen, LMFT talks about love, marriage, and relationships: why couples keep having the same fight, how to rebuild trust after an affair, what narcissism and anxious attachment look like up close, and how to grow up inside your marriage instead of waiting for your...
How often does Balance your Brain: Couples Therapy and Relationships with James Christensen release new episodes?
Balance your Brain: Couples Therapy and Relationships with James Christensen has 50 episodes. Check the episode list to see recent publication dates and frequency.
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Who hosts Balance your Brain: Couples Therapy and Relationships with James Christensen?
Balance your Brain: Couples Therapy and Relationships with James Christensen is created and hosted by James Christensen.
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