35. You Were the Good Girl. That’s Why You’re Falling Apart Now.

You keep the house running. You hold the emotions. You never say no. And still, part of you wonders if you’re doing enough.This solo episode isn’t just about perfectionism or people pleasing — it’s about the deeper pattern so many ADHD mums live inside without realising it: good girl conditioning. Jane peels back the layers of expectation, guilt, trauma, and survival-mode coping that lead neurodivergent women to break down quietly behind closed doors.From childhood masking to motherhood martyrdom, this one hits deep — and offers five strategies to start peeling off the pressure without losing yourself in the process.💡 What We Cover:What ‘good girl conditioning’ actually is (it’s not just a personality quirk)Why ADHD + perfectionism = emotional burnout on steroidsThe five signs you’ve internalised good girl roles — and how they sabotage you dailyWhy neurodivergent women are more vulnerable to this dynamic (even if they’re high achieving)The invisible ways this shows up in parenting, partnership, and school settingsThe conditioning phrases we grew up hearing — and how they shaped our self-worthHow to start unlearning without upending your whole life (yet)Five daily strategies to gently shift from martyrdom to self-worth (without adding more to your to-do list)🔗 Resources & Links:🧠 Research cited:Sanders & Munford (2008) – ‘Good Girl Identity as a Social Strategy’🧰 Tools & kits mentioned:Mental Load Reset Kit ADHD Planner & Personal Values Workbook✍️ Submit feedback, questions or stories via the listener jotform: https://form.jotform.com/251238118486864🎧 Listen NowIf your nervous system feels like it’s fraying — but you can’t stop making lists, saying yes, or “just getting on with it” — this episode is for you. Listen in, let it crack something open, and start building a life that includes you in the equation.📲 Hit play. Send to a friend. Save it for the next moment you wonder if it’s just you (it’s not).JOIN THE COMMUNITY:Have questions or want to connect with other ADHD mums? Join our supportive Facebook group here and dive into the conversation. No question is too small, and I love answering in a group format!FOLLOW FOR MORE:Get daily tips, insights, and relatable content for ADHD mums by following me on Instagram, Facebook, TikTok or YouTubeLEAVE A REVIEW:Love this episode? Your review means everything! It helps other mums find this content and feel supported. Let’s spread the word and make a difference together.COLLABS:For collaborations or speaking engagements, email me at [email protected] RESOURCES:Still unsure if ADHD or autism applies to you or your child? Take my recommended self-tests here.Topics Covered In This Episode:ADHD and perfectionism, people pleasing ADHD mums, masking in girls, emotional labour of motherhood, internalised ableism ADHD, ADHD and good girl syndrome, rejection sensitivity and burnout, parenting while neurodivergent, perfectionism trauma response, motherhood martyrdom, ADHD mum fatigue, boundaries and ADHD, late-diagnosed ADHD women, masking exhaustion, Sanders and Munford 2008 study, neurodivergent self-worth, ADHD social conditioning, ADHD mums mental health, ADHD emotional suppression, ADHD values planner