Hey, so something worth knowing is a benefit for the nonprofit organization that makes Crash Course and SciShow Complexly. It's September 16th, 2026 in Los Angeles, California at the Wilshire Ebell Theater. Please join us. It's going to be incredible.
Friends have Complexly like Mark Rober, Katie Max, Simone Yech, and Moore will share inspiring talks about what makes them hopeful and join Hank Green on stage for fun, interactive discussions. Complexly has been creating free educational content like SciShow and PBS eons and Crash Course and Bizarre Beasts for nearly 15 years and 6 billion views. But this year, we have become a 501c3 nonprofit and we're doing something worth knowing as an in-person event that benefits Complexly and our impactful educational media. It's the first ever Complexly in-person event and it's a fundraiser to support our mission of inspiring curiosity and lowering barriers to knowledge building because curiosity builds understanding and understanding builds a better world.
Tickets go on sale to the general public June 30th at somethingworthknowing.com. So come build a better world with us on September 16th and experience something worth knowing you can get your ticket at Complexly.info slash something. Hello and welcome to Dear Hank and John. Or is that first thing of a Dear John and Hank?
It's a podcast where me and my brother John answer all your questions, give you the advice and bring you all the weeks news from both Mars and AFC Wimbledon. Hi John, how are you? That was the saddest intro I've ever heard. It's never a funny comedy podcast but this particular episode of Dear Hank and John is going to be particularly unfunny because Hank's beloved dog Lemon has just died and also because I have just learned in the last hour that the brilliant novelist Harper Lee has died, one of my favorite writers and yeah so don't expect any funny today.
Yeah it was always a comedy podcast about death. Now it is just a death comedy of a death podcast about death. Now it's just a death podcast about death. Now it's just all death all the time.
Speaking of which Hank before we even get to how we're doing which I think the answer is universally terribly I have to say that there is an important correction to one of our previous episodes and this comes from Matt who would like to inform us that in fact despite it being the shortest month February is not the deadliest month at least in the United States. August and September share the title for the least deadly month with the August death rate being the lowest while September is the lowest by total deaths. February is fourth in total deaths and third in deaths per day. So we are still in the thick of the the death season.
One of the things you said didn't make any sense there at the end it's fourth in death rate and third in deaths per day. Oh no it's fourth in total deaths and third in death rate. Oh this is too confusing for my brain right now. And all I can tell you Hank is that it's February is a terrible time to be alive.
Well it is because your chances of dying are exceptionally high. Yeah yeah it's very like it seems it seems very unlikely to me and I would like to know why except that it's cold and people are like eh had enough yeah had enough of this living thing. No I mean I am inclined to agree. The best time to be alive is probably August maybe September depending on how you calculate it but January and February are just overwhelmingly the worst to give you a little bit of context in February the average number of deaths per day in the United States is 7,081.
In September it's 6,051. It's more than a thousand deaths per day less. Wow that's a big difference. That is not just a big difference.
I know. I know. It's a big difference in actual numbers of people. Sorry.
Not just numbers but in percentage. That's very strange and also I'm kind of surprised by how few people die per month. Well in the United States. But still that's I don't know there's 300 million of us.
It's surprising that only only 6,000 people die in any month. Well what do all the people who work for funeral homes even do? All I can tell you Hank is that I cannot wait for August. All right well I my favorite month is September so I guess that plays out in the in the stats as well.
So we just have to pause briefly to commemorate the life of Harper Lee author of To Kill Mockingbird. Harper Lee who wrote there are just some kind of men who are so busy worrying about the next world they've never learned to live in this one and who wrote Mockingbirds don't do one thing but make music for us to enjoy. They don't eat up people's gardens don't nest in corn cribs they don't do one thing but sing their hearts out for us. That's why it's a sin to kill a mockingbird.
And Harper Lee who also wrote the single greatest line of dialogue in American literature Miss Jean Louise stand up your father's passing. Hank she was one of my favorite writers. Especially when I was a young person and when my son was born we gave him the middle name Atticus partly because of the historical Atticus but partly because of Atticus Finch the great hero in the novel To Kill Mockingbird and my publisher Julie Strass Gable after Henry was born sent Harper Lee some copies of my books and Mizzly very kindly sent one of them back a first printing of Looking for Alaska that she signed on the title page Welcome to the World, Henriaticus Harper Lee. I feel like that was our short poem already.
I hope you don't have another one because I have a short poem about dog death. Oh really? You found a short poem about dog death? Of course I did Hank.
All right I'm gonna take my headphones out and you do it and I'll be back to sort of yell when you're done. Okay today's short poem is by Mary Oliver a great lover of dogs and also a wonderful poet. This is from her book Dog Songs and the title of the poem is If You Are Holding This Book. You may not agree you may not care but if you are holding this book you should know that of all the sites I love in this world and there are plenty very near the top of the list is this one Dogs Without Leashes.
If you are holding this book from Mary Oliver's book Dog Songs. Okay I know that one. All right I tried there are some sadder ones but I didn't want to make you cry on our comedy podcast. It's so funny.
It's such a funny podcast John. Oh man. I'll tell you what it's weird it's very my emotions make no sense and they continue to surprise me and I'm learning about myself through this process and what I'm learning is I ain't no rational being that's not what humans are so it's yeah something else and it sucks. Yeah I'm really sorry she was a great dog and and it is I mean it's just a grieving process and I think no matter what kind of grief you experience the main one of my main conclusions from grief is that grief is super weird and that if you try to judge yourself within the process of grief you're only going to complicate matters because it's complex and weird and I would argue that there aren't a lot of wrong ways to do it but instead you just kind of got to let yourself be yourself.
All right well I will take that advice John. Do you want to talk about anything else before we answer a question? No maybe we should start off with a question about death. All right that sounds like the kind of thing that might happen here on Dear Anker John.
All right so our first question of the day comes from Abby who writes Dear John and Hank I'm the only child of a single parent who is dead. My father and I were extremely close and his death two years ago was without doubt the worst thing that's ever happened to me but it does mean that in this terrible economy I am a 26-year-old with a low-paid artsy job who owns a beautiful home in inner London outright and lives alone. I sometimes struggle to deal with other people's reactions to this. Many people are confused by my rare situation and ask me how it happened and answering is very awkward and I've also found that some of my friends struggle not to sound jealous or bitter about it.
As you host the best comedy podcast about death on the whole internet thank you Abby I thought you might be able to help do you have any dubious advice for me. Oh my god it's a well it's good to answer questions that are you know universal everyone deals with these issues of just of having this particular situation. It's a very it's a very surprising and unusual circumstance you find yourself in but I think in a lot of ways one that that actually isn't that unusual. The ridiculousness of capital you know of the of course like I believe to some extent in the market and in the existence of capital I understand that it needs to exist but it is very strange how so many how we all have very different amounts of things and that allows you know it makes it well I think the easy way to say it is like and you have more stuff when you have more assets your life is easier and you can make different choices you know it is easier to do the things that you want to do.
Right but of course I'm sure that also Abby would in a heartbeat you know give up her house in inner London to have her relationship with her father back or to have her father be living again and I think that's one of the things that makes it so complicated I mean when we were talking earlier about how grief is inherently complicated that's one of the things that's complicated about it right is that you know it's you know when you talk about someone who who's died leaving you a legacy you know part of that legacy is a physical house and that is a great blessing it doesn't make it doesn't make the death any less horrible it doesn't make the loss any less horrible and you know I think that I think the only way to deal with those awkward situations is to acknowledge that they are awkward like just to just to be like yeah I know it's it is weird and I feel weird about it too but this is this is what happened right right and it's almost as if like it's all a thing that we know like it's a thing that we all know to say like I wouldn't give up a loved one for wealth obviously like that's a thing that we we all know but to have gone through it is a different thing and to have learned that lesson in the hard way and so like there's also there's some awkwardness in not just in inequality in in material wealth but in inequality and experience and and it can make it can feel very scary and very uncomfortable to talk to someone who has lost something that you know that is unusual to have lost at the age that you are and and that other people do not have that shared experience and sadly that will get that will get more or less common but it will be less the case as you get older yeah it will become progressively less weird but yeah I think that it's I always feel like with with those awkward situations really the only way to deal with it is to acknowledge the awkwardness yeah you say like okay well it's funny actually it's funny actually is how I started the sentence but the night before we were taking them into the vet to say goodbye we went to get doughnuts because that's that's how we were feeling and so we went to Krispy Kreme we were actually like out to get clear just like picking up some food to take home and we were like oh god we're right next to Krispy Kreme so I went to Krispy Kreme and the guy gave us a donut and he said so how's your night going and we were like oh we're not going to answer that question and he said he is a very nice guy he looked at me and he was like well I hope it goes better and I was like thank you because like it's very strange to like you know the vast majority of the time people are like how you doing like good but I could not I could not bring myself to say good and he handled it very well I felt like I felt like I handled it well but I was also a little bit like do I look like the kind of person who goes to Krispy Kreme at nine o'clock at night because I'm having a good day that's just not I don't know I am I don't think there's anything wrong I don't think that like it's inherently depressing to go to Krispy Kreme in the evening I don't think there's any right time to go to Krispy Kreme I suppose I suppose I definitely did feel like well this is not a thing that I would normally do but it did not make me feel better I'll tell you that it's funny how that works I find that when I eat poorly it makes me feel better only while I am swallowing the food and then within five minutes it makes me feel much much worse all right I have another question John if you're for that I'm ready this one's from Daniel who asks Dear Hank and John whenever I'm having conversations with a friend about a problem they're having I often find myself suggesting solutions to the problem instead of just listening I find it difficult to tell the difference between when someone wants me to suggest solutions and when someone just wants to be listened to what are some tips to become a better listener I feel like I do this a lot and John has given me advice on his very topic and so I am gonna shush yeah because God knows you talk too much on this comedy podcast yeah I mean I can only give you the advice that my chaplaincy supervisor gave me many years ago and I've tried to hold close to me ever since which is don't just do something stand there it is incredibly powerful to listen and to listen empathetically and so and so when I'm trying to listen to someone I'm always trying to pay close attention and then also to reflect their feelings and experiences back to them so we've talked about this in past comedy podcast but empathetic listening can sound a little bit stupid when you're talking about it in the abstract so for instance if you have a friend who's saying you know I'm feeling really afraid of abandonment because my boyfriend is talking about moving to Korea you would you might respond by saying it sounds like you're feeling afraid of abandonment um ideally you'll do it in a slightly more sophisticated way than that so the person who you're talking to isn't like did you just literally repeat what I said but in my experience even if you just literally repeat what they say it's still helpful they'll be like yes exactly and there's just something about having someone else validate your your feelings that's very powerful yeah and I think that a lot of times people are talking about their problems because they need to hear them they're almost they almost need you to be there so that they can feel okay talking to themselves and that's really that's really weird but we don't feel okay talking to ourselves a lot of the time and and also just to help tease the feelings out because I as I have found in the last last few days um it's very difficult to know what you feel all the time and sometimes you just need to talk about it just so that you can know and sometimes I want to get a therapist even though I'm pretty pretty well adjusted person just so I can have a person with a blank slate and be like okay I'm just gonna hit you with all this stuff um you know you don't know anything about me I don't think about you let me hit you with all this stuff so that I could just at least like hear what this sounds like to a person who isn't in the middle of it right yeah no that's one of the big benefits of having having a therapist I don't think that you have to have mental problems to go to therapy I think you know going to a psychologist is very different from going to a psychiatrist um yeah I would I would recommend a tank I have been in therapy since pretty consistently since the year 2000 and my life has gotten consistently better over those 16 years sure correlation and causation always the same yeah but then again like I don't want to mess around with anything because the correlation is so strong yeah yeah totally that's but it's I know it's magical thinking to some extent um I have a question hank it's from Mallory it is a fascinating question I do not know if you will be able to answer it but I find it very beautiful she writes dear john and hank my grandpa and I have been in a very heated argument for about two years he believes there is a possibility that another planet exactly like earth could be in our orbit on the opposite side of the sun making it impossible for us to ever see it and for it to ever see us he saw this in an old movie once I know astronomer but I did take some courses in college and I don't think this could happen could this fictional planet exist what a great question well first Mallory I have to say I'm glad to hear you took at least some courses in college yeah she didn't Mallory did not say that she took astronomy courses but she did take some courses there was at least one course maybe two that were taken during college oh man I took anthropology I took pre-calc those two I took some courses uh I first I'm glad that your grandfather and you are able to have this spirited debate I hope that it's uh it's a pleasant one and uh it's it's also nice I think when you're having a debate to know that you're right which in this case you are and uh but even but it's also important to recognize sometimes you're like I know I'm right I know I'm right I don't know why I'm right but I know I'm right and yes Mallory is right oh yeah I know I was hoping for a secret planet it's unfortunate but the reason I know I'm right is not because I know all the reasons why I'm right it's because I I have faith I trust that the people who uh who study the universe have thought of this thing that was apparently in a movie a long time ago and of jet uh oh so you don't so you don't actually know that it's impossible I do know that it's impossible but Mallory does because she only took some courses in college can you explain to me why it's impossible please we have a pretty pretty good uh pretty good grasp on the gravitational effects that all of the planets have on each other um it is true that the gravitate that its gravitational effects on earth would be would be basically invisible um so but there there's a bunch of different reasons as with uh like lots of cool things in science uh that we uh that we figure out a bunch of different arrows all point to the same things um so we know how planets form and we know that it would be extremely difficult for a planet to form this way it would to for for two globs uh to perfectly pull all of the stuff from the planetary accretion disk into uh into these opposite points um if it was even if they were even very slightly different masses they would eventually come together uh which is what happens and why there is only one planet in each of the orbits um despite the fact there is there's a gravitational point at which you could put another earth and then they would go they would go around each other so there's that reason um there's also that you know just sort of like we have studied the earth we also have have things that sense like like that are not on earth so you say like yes it could be there and we wouldn't be able to see it but we have uh we have eyes and other points in the solar system so there's lots of different reasons why this is not the thing that could be but it's a fun thought experiment and also uh you know like we do uh we do there are a number of weird gravitational points like that and we do utilize those um so they are gravitationally stable points and there are asteroids in those places that are sort of like stably following us around but um but uh but not earth no big no big no big ob no yeah no other no other earth which would be amazing because it would be really easy to get to yeah that's what i was thinking we could get to our secret earth um well mallory i don't think you should tell your grandfather about this i think you should just continue the argument um yeah i don't think there's a lot of in the arguments that uh that i have with my my my my family members who i disagree with things on i was like are you gonna say that we are having arguments with our grandparents because they're all dead but Hank's still fighting it out he's still fighting it out with many in pothole about about whether or not uh gay or women are you married they may be dead but Hank is not done with that argument i'm kind of not hahahaha you know i will say at the end of her life um our grand the new york time started um posting back then it was like civil union ceremonies um for for uh lgbt couples in in the wedding section and at the end of her life my grandmother did say well i think that's that's a nice thing wow yeah so that's a that's a long journey to travel uh for a you know 87 year old woman all right this one is uh this one's from ori who asks dear hank and john how do artificial flavors such as strawberry flavor pass as strawberry flavor when they taste nothing like strawberries does something trickin uh does something in the something i check our brains into thinking that strawberries taste like that or are we just used to calling it strawberry flavor because everybody does i have a uh a surprisingly complicated answer to this question john to you uh i have a theory about it okay uh so this is my theory sometimes when i am drinking uh an ice cold refreshing i don't understand why they continue to refuse to sponsor me diet dr pepper um i will take a sip of that diet dr pepper and i will enjoy it greatly for a moment until i realize that it is in fact diet mountain dew but my brain is so heavily expecting the flavor that it knows to be diet dr pepper that my brain initially is like that's some good diet doctor wait wait that isn't diet dr pepper at all mm-hmm so that's my theory is that you are essentially tricking your brain with um with the color and then you're also tricking your brain with the sweetness yeah you're tricking your brain with a bunch of of things and i think that absolutely doesn't happen and i i also for me it is a gusset it's not uh it's not something that i know anything about uh but i do know some things about flavor chemistry because it is something that i studied at some when i was in college i took some courses uh and uh and and remarkably there so so when we first were isolating all these artificial flavors which are the things that we use and can be almost exclusively um we pulled out these all these flavor compounds that have very strong smells and they smell very good to us and uh so we pulled them all out and a lot of them tasted like ah this tastes like a thing we'll do use it as the thing um but a lot of them didn't taste like anything though they just tasted good though it was a flavor that we liked but it was it was one of you know a dozen different compounds that was in a strawberry or in a watermelon or in a blueberry or something so it was it was one of many compounds and it was just part of the subtlety of the flavor but when we concentrated it and stuck it with some citric acid and some sugar uh which is the stuff that makes that like the primary flavor components of sugar of course are like the actual tastes of sweetness and and sourness um and then you have these smells that go along with it to enhance that are enhanced by those things um you get all of these chemicals that taste good but don't taste like anything so we had them they're inexpensive to synthesize and we like them and they but like they're just chemicals so like they're named by the international union of pure and applied chemistry they're not named by you know the long history of people naming things being like that that berry grows in straw so let's call it a strawberry or whatever uh so like they didn't want to call it like ethylmethyl phenylglycide flavored candy so they called it strawberry flavor candy today's podcast is brought to you by ethylmethyl glycyl rhyme candy what is it called what do you call it i don't even think i said it right uh ethylmethyl phenylglycide today's podcast is brought to you by ethylmethylglycyl cydylate delicious but it doesn't taste like strawberries but you're gonna like it and we're gonna make it red you're gonna love it yeah all right all right we're doing this uh today's podcast is uh is uh is is brought to you by uh too many sad things too many sad things uh there's a lot of them and just let them let them pile on top of you until you can no longer function or even move and of course today's podcast is brought to you by delicious refreshing diet dr pepper not sponsoring me since 2007 podcast is additionally brought to you by meloria the the uh the actual planet meloria which is found just behind the sun and the exact same position as the earth but not by anyone because it's hiding there and has been and will always be hiding there just an opportunity for us to consider what could possibly be if the earth had it all to do over the hank is that really the name yeah well that girl's name is mary who asked the question oh so you named the planet meloria that's very beautiful thank you thank you i think i think it's what her grandfather would want i agree i agree um i just thought of a joke that's too dark for the podcast which is really saying something this episode of your hank and john is brought to you by shopify there are a lot of things that stand between i have an idea and this is an idea that actually exists in the world and people are buying things from me and that is what shopify makes easier when you start with shopify the tools to design and launch and take payments they're all there from day one you don't have to build a whole machine before you can start building the business and this is important because you also have to like look good and with shopify's templates you can get a site set up really quick that looks credible and professional without needing to code or duct tape a bunch of different tools together and when things look real that works on my brain to be like i'm doing a real thing it also works on other people's brains to be like this is legitimate shopify also has one of the best check out systems on the internet it's built to help customers finish the purchase effectively and efficiently without a bunch of roadblocks returning customers can check out with a single click that means less friction and fewer abandoned carts and a smoother experience for everybody that stuff gives you confidence early on and it gives other people confidence in what you're doing you're not wondering whether the payment system is going to work you're not wondering whether customers can get through the process shopify handles that foundation so you can focus on the thing that you're actually trying to do it's really kind of amazing to me the shopify is a tool that works from the first day your store launches when you're just starting to get customers all the way up to being the size of good dot store or dftba dot com or being the size of like matel and gymshark when you build a shopify you're building with tools that already work at every scale all you need is the idea shopify handles the rest you can start your free trial at shopify.com slash deerhank start your free trial shopify.com slash deerhank with new subscription only wild supplies last until September 27th 2026 see website for more details one thing I love about summary is how easy everything feels the days are a little more relaxed my kids don't have to wake up at five in the morning and I find myself reaching for the same comfortable go anywhere pieces again and again which is why I keep coming back to quince I often wear either a long sleeve or short sleeve button down from quince and it fits well and I never have any complaints in fact sometimes I get compliments about it I was at the airport a couple days ago as I often find myself in airports and someone said I like your shirt and I said thanks it's from quince quince's 100% european linen pants and shirts are breathable easy to throw on and the summer upgrade your rotation needs starting at just 34 dollars their tees are soft enough to live in all day and the lightweight cotton sweaters are exactly what you want when those summer nights cool down so that's why I'm wearing quince this summer and you can make your summer wardrobe easier by going to quince.com slash deerhank for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns now available in canada too that's quince.com slash deerhank for free shipping and 365 day returns quince.com slash deerhank. you can get creamy lemon pepper chicken with veggie rice peel off broccoli and carrots this has the fiber I need it has the protein I need it has the deliciousness I need what about garlic herb roasted barramundi with potato zucchini and burr blanc sauce I don't really know what that means but it sounds delicious what about a black bean taco bowl with corn salsa and cilantro crema a delicious high fiber high protein meal that no animals had to die for any of those can be ready in two minutes fresh never frozen over 100 rotating weekly meals including globally inspired flavors like Mediterranean and Asian factor shops perhaps cooks and delivers straight to your door so you have more time for everything you love this spring head to factor meals dot com slash deerhank 50 off and use the code deerhank 50 off to get 50 percent off and free daily greens per box with new subscription only wild supplies last until September 27th 2026 see website for more details okay we have another question this one's from Kelsey who writes deer john and hank I recently moved to a new city and I'm in the process of making friends however the people I'm meeting make significantly more money than me and like to hang out at bars and restaurants I can't afford to go out multiple times a week how do I continue to explore these burgeoning relationships without draining my bank account p.s feel free to mention death in your response thanks Kelsey I appreciate that I will mention death in my response here's the first thing that I would say Kelsey if you can just find a way to get to August you'll probably live to January well that's good I don't know I don't know why you're so worried about your weekly spending when the first priority needs to be getting out of February yolo so here's what I would say this is always difficult and it's complicated and I think it's one of the reasons that we now live in a culture in the United States where people overwhelmingly spend most of their leisure time with people who are in similar socioeconomic brackets which is I think one of the biggest social problems that we face as a country but what I would say is don't go out multiple times a week go out once a week and then encourage your friends to come with you once a week to do something that is cheap like go to the park and you know play feed pigeons for some reason the idea that came into my head hank was to play a game where you throw eggs back and forth to each other but you try not to have eggs break but oh so there are they in fourth grade? I mean not only is Kelsey seemingly not in fourth grade what we've going to bars and and etc but also that isn't that inexpensive of a game because of course the eggs cost money eggs are pretty cheap just don't agree with that you know if you're watching if you're watching your weekly budget you don't want to just go throwing raw eggs at people no I agree though though compared with the cost of a cocktail in New York City you could probably get about four dozen eggs for that did I ever tell you about the first time I went to New York City with my best friend Todd when we were in high school my best friend Todd did you have insufficient funds no that was Canada my best friend Todd is from a very small town in Alabama and grew up in a trailer park and had never been to New York City before and we went to the Metropolitan Museum of Art and we were at the restaurant there with with my parents and Todd saw that two eggs were nine dollars it was two eggs scrambled were nine dollars and Todd said to the waiter in his sixth southern accent for nine dollars I want a suitcase full of eggs that I can take home with me the different time well now Todd is an extremely successful dermatologist but I suspect that he still won't pay nine dollars for two eggs no I understand that perspective I backed Kelsey's question I believe I didn't say that wrong did I did Kelsey it is Kelsey uh yeah I I think it's I think in particularly in big cities this is a huge issue because big cities are optimized to to provide for every like little slice every little demographic slice and where I live there's just nothing you can spend much money on so everybody is sort of on the same page for the most part and but but in New York City I think you really like there are so many different you know economic brackets and the city is optimized to to you know function for each of them individually I cannot imagine having to try to figure this out but there are hopefully you one can when doing these things manage to do it not so conspicuously on a budget oh I'm just having shelter now I'm taking a medication that means that I can't I can't drink anything that costs more than 20 dollars a glass that sort of thing and don't be afraid to lie about that about the little white guys John and I are big fans of those and then uh good lie and then you know also be like you know what I think is super fun is Settlers of Catan and bring them back to your place where I'm sure there's loads of space for a large game playing table because it is New York City and everyone knows oh man when we lived in New York Hank we entertained in our apartment in the two and a half years we lived there we entertained in our apartment once yeah friends over to our apartment one time it's horrible because it was so small it was so cramped we were trying to like make breakfast and our our kitchen didn't have any drawers which is you know inconvenient when you're cooking for two but when you're cooking for six it's just oh it's just such a pain let's move on to another question so that I can forget about my New York City kitchen this question is from D.K. Scott who asks uh Dear Hank and John I'm an idiot of advice from two people who seem to be in stable happy relationships I'm a 21 year old woman in college back to the mail type but it seems that nothing well that's your first mistake it seems that nothing is working out from your relationship wise I went out with this guy once and I thought it was going really well uh and he said he was looking forward to another day and then suddenly just canceled and I haven't heard from him since then my more hip friends hit his in quotation marks here I've told me that this is called ghosting where you just stop talking to someone to show this interest but this note makes no sense to me ah oh god caps I was all in caps why do people take this seemingly easy way out when it seems like it's just better for everyone to tell the person you're not interested we're adults for goodness sake oh god I never want to be single again oh I can't even give an encouraging answer to this question because inside I'm just cringing at all of my memories of dating it's just so uncomfortable when you don't know if you're going to spend the rest of your lives together whole process is uncomfortable yeah when you've been in a committed relationship for like two years it's still a little weird because you're like is this forever or are you just like yeah gonna be here for a while and then you're gonna go do something else you've always got that option you've always got that thing that maybe sitting there that that the choice it's always a choice every day it's like do I want to be with this person or not until you go and you say you stand in a fancy building and you say hey god god I want you to hear this we're not gonna break up and then god's like I heard you and then then it takes a little bit of that of that constant choice out of the matter although I have to say and I did not stand in a building or in fact say anything to talk to god either no yeah we said nothing you guys stood in a field and uh promised to stay married that's true when you said it to our god which was our friends and family that's fair anyway point being Hank and I are terrible terrible at giving dating advice um it's true but I have I have I have watched this I've watched I have a lot of young friends who are in in the 2016 dating scene which is admittedly very different from my dating scene which was just uh just grab onto and hold the first woman who will listen to them and be joins with me I never let go the uh it's a true story of how Hank got married um so I I watch this happen both on the the ghoster side and the ghost e side I think what's what's kind of happening is that it's kind of a side effect of the the uh the tiny commitment of the text message uh which is which is that it is a really insignificant social act to text someone and it is also kind and so everyone recognizes that everyone recognizes that this isn't a big deal you texted me no big um but like because there's this really low commitment form of communication any other form of communication seems really intense like you were sending email to this person it would be really strange and like why are we establishing a business relationship here and if you were to call them people would be like oh whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa back down there tiger what are we married calling me on the phone and uh and but additionally to this like very low impact like this is the only way you can communicate and basically I see that you are not like it's not a big deal if I don't text back because you are just texting me and it's a low impact form of communication I think also every single text message is like like when you get one you have to make the choice whether to text back or not and if that choice isn't obvious then there's always that like well I can put this choice off and not texting is a non-choice it is a wait till later to well texting is an active kind of a commitment an active choice that you are making choices are kind of exhausting especially when you have to make lots of them and so you're increasing number of these choices that you have to make and I I've watched and it's like what I would rather do is just not make a choice right now so I'm going to push this off until finally the choice gets made for you because they're like oh well I didn't text the back for two weeks it'd be real weird to text back now but you never really made that choice so I think that there's a lot of like this isn't about not being interested um necessarily of course sometimes it is absolutely about not being interested but oftentimes it's not just like I'm not interested it's like I'm choice exhausted I have two like and I don't know like there's a lot going on and I don't want to necessarily add this because it's not like it's not the hundred percent slam dunk thing that I imagine might could happen someday having heard you hank old man your way through this question I have come to a revelation that is even more terrifying than the revelation I came to when I realized that I myself was middle aged which is that I now have a younger brother who is also middle age like while you were answering that question you left early age and you entered middle age it happened it happened I was I should have used the word millenial at some point I heard it happen and I I'm upset we need to move on no I should I should I should just I should just go full on and become a baby boomer and be like you young kids need to make decisions and be more careful with each other's opinions of each other and I don't know why all middle age people are from New York oh my god uh sarin I had the best time a couple weeks ago uh a friend of ours who will remain nameless was using a tinder like dating app and allowed us to choose whether to swipe left or right on their behalf and I mean I totally get it it was so fun um but let's move on to one last question before we get to the do you not do you not think I had good advice do you think that it was all bad and that that no I mean I think my advice would be to listen to your hip friends rather than Hank Green I just watch I it's so hard to watch the young people date and it just seems it seems very difficult and very yeah I mean I think it was very hard from I think it was always hard I think it was always complicated but it does to to our eyes certainly seem more difficult and complicated than it used to okay Hank one last question before we get to the news from Mars and AFC we'll then this question is from Bethany who writes Dear John and Hank last year my fiance and I traveled to London from Canada for vacation and of course we attended an AFC Wimbledon game to show our support oh that's awesome thank you Bethany everybody in south London everybody who visits London should really go to an AFC Wimbledon game I myself am going to one in a week uh but more on that in a moment um the game was incredibly fun to watch but the best part of the experience for me was joining in with the crowd as they sang various songs to support the dawns and taunt the other team I've never been to a sporting event where there was so much singing and camaraderie like there was at the Wimbledon game and I'm just wondering how did this tradition of singing at football games come about I've never seen anything like it at sporting events here in Canada it's true you don't hear a lot of curling songs um or even hockey songs you know hockey hockey's mostly about like cheering or making a lot of noise to make a lot of noise rather than about singing specific songs that's mostly true in American sports as well um you know I think as far as I know the tradition uh goes back uh you know 100 years uh that some of the some of the songs that are sung uh are many generations old but I don't know where singing at soccer game started it is however a huge part of what is so enjoyable about going to a Wimbledon game or really any game uh with with good with good support is that there's this energy in the crowd that is almost uh like the game is almost irrelevant to the energy like one of my favorite moments you can look this up on youtube hank I think it was uh Aston Villa fans they were they were like 1200 Aston Villa fans playing away at the Manchester City and they were losing like seven nothing and they started they started uh first off they sang one of my all-time favorite football songs which is uh you're nothing special we lose every week um but then they then they started singing let's pretend let's pretend let's pretend we score to go and then uh they sang that like three rounds of it and then all 1200 of them just went nuts like uh just screaming jumping up and down hugging uh it was amazing and like you know they weren't even like watching the atrocity that was happening on the actual football field and for me that is what makes uh sports special and interesting and especially makes soccer so interesting is that it has that passion that extends way beyond whatever the results of the game are um and I really would encourage everybody to go to AFC Wimbledon games I would also say it's only 35 dollars a year to become an owner of AFC Wimbledon uh if you can you can go become an owner of the team just like I am at the dawn's trust and uh that's really cool too you get lots of perks um but yeah it is it is a really special experience and one that I will get to enjoy next week Hank because I am going to an AFC Wimbledon game uh yeah next week against Oxford United I think well I am so excited for you as Oxford United good at football let me look up and make sure it's Oxford United first before I answer your question it is Oxford United now let me answer your question as to whether they're any good I at this point Hank every game is incredibly important but Oxford United is not just good they are very good they are currently third um which means that they are in one of the automatic promotion spots the top three spots wow in the league I'll get promoted up to the third tier of English football AFC Wimbledon currently in tenth right um but they have uh they're only three points out of sixth so uh it's it's so we're just gonna jump right into the news from AFC Wimbledon AFC Wimbledon Hank played Luton town last week now of course you remember Luton town because of their significant role in AFC Wimbledon's history I assume sure yes of course you don't do you no Hank in 2011 just nine years after the club formed or reformed AFC Wimbledon was in the fifth tier right of English football yes they were an amateur team not yet in the football league you couldn't play them in FIFA and they made it to the playoff final the game at the end of 90 minutes the score was nil nil at the end of extra time the score was nil nil and then there was a penalty shootout and 19 year old goalkeeper said Brown saved two penalties against Wooten town to send AFC Wimbledon up to the football league and back to their rightful spot uh in professional English football that same luton town a couple years later got promoted so now uh we get to play them twice every season and AFC Wimbledon played Luton town last week and won four won Hank they won they won by three goals which is great for goal difference and two of the goals were scored by our monceradian international the monceradian messy some call him to know who the enal messy is yes yes I have heard of that name he's a tennis player you're kidding right yes okay thank god yeah um yeah so uh I call him the monceradian messy the monceradian messy scored two goals AFC Wimbledon beats Luton town for one where in 10th place uh I have to say I am starting to properly dream uh so how where are you at in the thing did you say oh by the way that this the monceradian messy is Lyle's tailor or did you just not say that name ever because I feel like you should at least use his name and not just call him I don't I don't think it's necessary to say his name I think we all know I think we all know I did so that's the move the monceradian is there's there can only be one in its while Taylor yeah so AFC Wimbledon to repeat myself thank our tent okay but because uh because different teams have played different numbers of games if AFC Wimbledon win all of their games there's like 16 games left so obviously that's not gonna happen but like if AFC Wimbledon won all of their games and if all the teams above them won all of their games AFC Wimbledon actually would make it into the playoffs so uh great that's I'm getting a little choked up here as you can tell but yeah I'm starting I'm starting to dream I am truly I I'm dreaming with you John I'm gonna have a dream I had a dream last night I had a bunch of tattoos and a really nice body I mean I might get an AFC Wimbledon tattoo if they get promoted this season I'm sure my wife would be delighted yeah I'm sure I'm sure all right you want to hear you want to hear some what's the news for Mars this week all right well as you as you may have heard you know we got to make when we get to Mars we got to feed ourselves and one way to do it is just to bring all the food with us but as we learn from the Martian if you bring all that food and then suddenly you need to spend another six months on Mars you got to take your Thanksgiving dinner cut up those potatoes plant them in the Martian soil and become you know become the greatest botanist on the planet and it works fantastically in the book in the movie so NASA is actually looking to simulate growing Mars potatoes in Peru the home of the potato by the way if you did not know where potatoes came from South America surprisingly somewhat surprisingly just because it is sort of big part of what we consider European cuisine but not not since only after the Colombian exchange as they say here on Dear Hank and John the the the partnership is between NASA and I'm not kidding you Lima's International Potato Center which is a thing that exists there are many many many many different varieties of potato we do not see the vast majority of them here in the US grocery stores but there are 4500 varieties that are registered at Lima's International Potato Center and hundreds of them including some genetically modified ones will be used to we sent through a series of tests to see how good they would be at producing potatoes not just potatoes not just potatoes for one generation but potatoes for many generations of potatoes on the surface of Mars and that's we've got to deal with you know the amounts of you know the soil need to be cleaned up before it is you know if we're on Mars the Martian soil we need to clean up to some extent before this is done but you know you got to test for salt the amount of light that they need you know the amount of water that they need is best if they use less water and produce more potato there's like a radiation concern so but they're confident that at least some of these potatoes will pass pass through these tests and we will have we'll have the right stuff for going to potato to potato land with and by potato land I mean Mars and that's what we're going to call it well but someday we'll be known as potato land all of our potatoes will be grown on Mars we'll just think with Martian food Earth will be for humans Mars for potatoes just if there's only one food John it should obviously be potato I mean if you're only going to have one food potatoes is not a bad option okay so before we go we need to answer a few things from previous episodes that have been brought to our attention via our email address hankandjohn at gmail.com first off hank Mel wrote in about cereal in your latest podcast John Confessy puts water on his cereal this intrigued me because I hate milk I thought putting water on cereal was generally unacceptable and that nobody would actually try it but hearing that at least one person in the world has not only tried it but does it regularly I thought I had no reason not to try it myself so this morning I had water on my cereal and as advertised watered cereal provides the same softness that milk does without having to add actual milk this has saved my breakfast no longer will I suffer the grossness of milk or cut the roof of my mouth on dry cereal I don't care if I get judgmental looks in the morning I can finally enjoy cereal in a way I never could have before thank you for revolutionizing my mornings sincerely Mel you are welcome Mel well it's hard it's hard for me to argue with that John it's hard for me to say that you are the monster that you are after Mel has had this wonderful life-changing experience but we've also gotten about 400 emails from people who are disgusted by me and not a lot of comments because he made a whole video about this we've also got a message from Till who says that not only are there feral cows in British Columbia and Hawaii but also in Hong Kong and yes Hong Kong there are feral cows in Hong Kong I'm not even getting you Jeff made some corn dog cake for his kids and it wasn't bad and they attached a picture of his kids and they do indeed look very happy Amanda writes in to say that she works at a food bank in Alameda County and thus knows all about how long food lasts after its sell-by date and indeed macarodium cheese is perfectly fine in fact a dry pasta is usually good two years after the sell-by date and she includes a PDF from the Alameda County food bank that it is a guide for how long you can eat things after their sell-by dates remarkable we're gonna go ahead and post that as well as some pictures of feral cows in Hong Kong to our patreon page which you can access even if you aren't don't donate but feel free to donate and yeah we are so you can see both of that I thought it was I have to say having read Amanda's email I was dead wrong about food and how long it's good for and as she says John you have fallen prey to what the food manufacturers want you to think about as food safety but is really about wanting their products to be at peak flavor so that's really important and an interesting point and one that I will bear in mind for the rest of my life so we all learn something today Hank what else did we learn we learned that sometimes when your team doesn't score any goals and is being absolutely ripped to little tiny pieces by the other team it doesn't matter and you can still have good time because really it's about camaraderie and singing songs and being together and believing in the same things and we learned that strawberry flavor is not strawberry flavor but it is delicious.
Ah thomaphylphenol gysate ate. We learned that John has a strategy called empathic listening which has something to do with the anatorei from Star Trek. We also learned that Hank doesn't really listen to me when I'm talking on deer handkerchief. Oh man lastly we learned that grief is complicated and that you shouldn't judge yourself for it but that you should just go on.
Yeah you shouldn't judge yourself if you need to get yourself a donut. Go get a donut. Yeah just enjoy an evening donut speaking of witchank. Two different employees here at the Indianapolis offices of Deer Hank and John brought in Friday donuts so we have three dozen donuts for just nine people.
It is a it's an absolute donut bonanza here today and I'm so grateful to everyone. I look forward to seeing if I can eat ten donuts by myself. All right donut disaster donut disaster 2016 happened and it's good oh I should also mention that Deer Hank and John now has an intern thanks to our lovely support at patreon we've been able to bring on at paid intern. Her name is Claudia and Claudia will be helping out with your hand in John in various ways so if you ever interact with Claudia I don't know why you would but she will be helping out mostly she'll be helping out us.
We will still be doing all the public facing things. Actually in fact this voice that you're hearing now is actually Claudia's impression of me. I'm not doing this at all. That's what the intern does she just yeah I know it was Claudia introducing herself.
Yeah in fact the whole podcast has been hosted by Claudia she's doing both of our voices she's doing a great job. I'm really impressed with her so far. The best part about her doing this podcast is that she so successfully made it not fun. Yeah it's a really a remarkable spot on impression of two guys really just struggling with with being interesting and their own mortality and not really caring at all whether or not the things they say on this comedy podcast could ever be considered in any planet you know malaria Mars or Earth.
Maloria is my new favorite planet. Okay Hank we really have to go to today's podcast was edited by Nicholas Jenkins and possibly Claudia I don't know our theme music is by Gunnarola my voice is giving out and as we say in our hometown don't forget to be awesome.