36. Re-Establishing Tech Boundaries With Others

“Boundaries define us. They define what is me and what is not me. A boundary shows me where I end and where someone else begins. Knowing what I am to own and take responsibility for gives me freedom.” -Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend, Boundaries (1997)A question we get a lot has to do with managing tech boundaries with those we do life with: friends, family members, neighbors. How do we maintain our family’s tech policies when our kids are with others who might have differing expectations?We must first be sure we establish our own family policy so it’s clear for us what’s a go and what’s not. If you missed the episode on why your family needs a policy and how to do that, go back and check out the past couple of episodes—Nathan walks you through how this process works and why it’s so important.So we must first start with making sure we are clear within our family on what our tech framework is.Second, we have to clearly and kindly communicate those expectations with others (and here’s where things can get awkward. But also why we strongly advise knowing expectations ahead of time, so when an invitation to game/play/FB messenger etc comes up, you and your kids know the answer. Check the framework!)Today we'll talk about some tangible tips for processing this conversation with: Grandparents & babysitters, Friends/Neighbors, School, and even ourselves (we argue ourselves out of right action because we some mix of overwhelmed / under-confident /making excuses). OTHER RESOURCES:We reference this book in this episode and strongly recommend it when thinking through boundaries in any area of your life: Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life (Cloud and Townsend)If you want to know more about the Gospel Tech Online Workshop you can find that here! https://gospeltechworkshop.thinkific.com/Here's a Video Game Resource I created to help families determine what games their kids should play: https://youtu.be/22U1mc0t0mwAnd you can reach out to us on social media here:Instagram: @flintandironFacebook: @sparkingpurpose