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360: Katherine's Question Challenge episode artwork

Feb 6, 2023 47 min

360: Katherine's Question Challenge

from Dear Hank & John

Can fish see water? How do you decide what to write about? Does a shoal ever get to just vibe? What's your favorite part of the movie Goncharov? Do sea creatures have boogers? How long would it take to walk around the moon? Why do people unwantedly abbreviate my name? What color do you want your bones to be? Do I move through time, or vice versa? Can I keep a gift I haven't given yet? Hank and John Green have answers! If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at [email protected]. Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn. Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at [email protected]. Join us for monthly livestreams at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn. Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn

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360: Katherine's Question Challenge

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Hey, so something worth knowing is a benefit for the nonprofit organization that makes Crash Course and SciShow Complexly. It's September 16th, 2026 in Los Angeles, California at the Wilshire Ebell Theater. Please join us. It's going to be incredible.

Friends have complexity like Mark Rober, Katie Max, Simone Yech, and Moore will share inspiring talks about what makes them hopeful and join Hank Green on stage for fun, interactive discussions. Complexly has been creating free educational content like SciShow and PBSEons and Crash Course and Bizarre Beasts for nearly 15 years and 6 billion views. But this year, we've become a 501c3 nonprofit and we're doing something worth knowing as an in-person event that benefits Complexly and our impactful educational media. It's the first ever Complexly in-person event and it's a fundraiser to support our mission of inspiring curiosity and lowering barriers to knowledge building because curiosity builds understanding and understanding builds a better world.

Tickets go on sale to the general public June 30th at somethingworthknowing.com. So come build a better world with us on September 16th and experience something worth knowing you can get your ticket at Complexly.info slash something. And welcome to Dear Hank and John! It's a podcast where two brothers answer your questions, give you the advice and bring you all the weeks news from both Mars and AFC Limbo than John.

You know it's a pity that they didn't cast Ryan Reynolds as Jake Aspie because he's already been the Green Lantern and Deadpool. Did you write that? No, I found it. Oh man, I mean if you'd written that, my whole opinion of this this bit would have changed dramatically.

I would have been like, we need to continue this bit for a decade. Just in the hopes that you write another joke like that. Every one that makes me cringe is worth that one. Yeah, like the Euripides joke, which you also didn't write.

It's a very select group of people who enjoyed that joke. It also took me a second because I only slept about two hours last night. And I slept in like a weird random airport hotel. So even those two hours were at the highest quality sleep.

But I did have a great weekend, which did include getting to see Rexum, the team that Ryan Reynolds and Rob McElaney helped run. And they were in the FA Cup in the fourth round. Oh wow. And they played in the fifth tier of English football.

So they're down outside of the football league. And they were two minutes away from the biggest win in that football club's history. And then they gave up a tying goal, but still like a tie against the team and the three divisions above them, 70 teams above them in the football pyramid is pretty special. So it was a great experience.

If I sound a little tired, it's because I am a little tired because I just got home from that. But it was really fun. And I can of course report that Ryan Reynolds is just as lovely as you would expect from his appearance on this podcast, which is the thing that he's best known for. Oh God, he's both the Green Lantern and Deadpool.

I mean, it's a good, I'll tell you, it's a little bit of a spoiler, but I feel like if you haven't read Gatsby, that's on you unless you're like eight years old, in which case, like it's probably not that much of a spoiler. Yeah, you probably got to forget about that. I don't think either of those things are the most important parts of the book. Anyway, I mean, Gatsby turned out all right in the end.

It was what preyed on Gatsby, what Fal Dust trailed in the wake of his dreams that temporarily aborted my interest in the abortive sorrows and short-winded relations of men. I didn't quite get it right, but I was in the neighborhood like that. If I got in three hours of sleep, I would have crushed it. I love that line.

I just, there's something about Gatsby. I think about this a lot because in the best novels, there's, we call it voice. You know, we say like, oh, it's a very voicey book. Like, you know, from, there's a huge variety of voicey books, right?

You've got like Zorniel Hurstens, their eyes were watching God, you've got The Catcher in the Rye to Kill the Mockingbird is a voicey book. Jacqueline Woodson's Brown Girl Dreaming is a voicey book. We call it voice, but like, I think what we actually mean is that there is a, there's a meter to the prose. Of course, not like a poetic meter exactly, but there's like a, there's a sort of rhythm to it.

And you can hear it in so many lines of Gatsby. Like the first line is, in my younger and more vulnerable years of my father gave me some advice that I've been yada yada yada yada. And then you hear it again, and he like, Gatsby turned out all right in the end. It was what prayed on Gatsby, what fouled us, trailed in the wake of his dreams.

I just, that is what I love. Like when I feel like I'm being carried forward through the words themselves, that's magic to me, man. I hear you. And while you've been telling me the magic, I've been trying to find the source of this joke, which stretches back at least to 2015, but I can't find the original source.

It seems to have been a Tumblr post because of course, Tumblr is among other things, gotta be the funniest of the social medius. It just is funnier. You know who's back on Tumblr? The awesome coffee club?

Me as the awesome coffee club. Hey, I think it's not you. I think it's just a coffee. I think it's the coffee brand.

No, the, no, the me is starting to bleed through to be honest with you. It's true at awesomecoffeeclub.com. You can now get decaf in addition to our incredible light and dark roast. So but awesomecoffeeclub.com to get your coffee.

But the me is starting to bleed through. Can I tell you? I love being back on Tumblr, which is a sentence so far away. Yeah.

Yeah. From anything I ever thought I would say, but it's not really fun. When you found out, because I actually tell you, you're not ashamed when you found out you were like, are you kidding me? But now look at you, Tumblr boy, John, I know, I know I just got an ask that said, Jesus Christ, we can't have anything without celebrities wanting it for themselves.

Go away. You know how I replied? Can I tell you how I replied? No, you didn't reply.

Oh, I replied. Okay, I am, I respond to the haters now. That's the new thing. That's the new, that's the new me.

Can I tell you how I replied? I'm very proud of it. Okay. It's not like Deadpool, Gatsby level, but I think it's pretty, I think it's pretty, it's close to a dad joke.

It's almost upon. Okay. I replied, I haven't published a novel in six years. I'm best known for making educational video calling me a celebrity as an insult to both celebration and identity.

Oh, is that what the idea is that what the celebrity stands for? I think so. I didn't know that. Well, I mean, it's just a guess, but celebrated identities.

I Literally, I just Google John Green Tumblr. I can't find your Tumblr. It's like not, it's not not not questionable. Thank God.

I hope it. I found your Tumblr. It has the 35th episode of Dear Hank and John on it because that's the last thing you posted on your old Tumblr. Oh, that was a classic, the 35th episode of Dear Hank and John was the first time we found out about Ryan's.

That's good. That was before Leon Musk for Earth. That was the early days. Oh, man.

All right, Hank, let's get to some questions from our listeners. Yes, please. Beginning with this one from Leah, who writes Dear John and Hank, humans live in space where air is all around us simultaneously fish live in water. Humans cannot see that air is moving.

We can feel it, but we don't know what air looks like. However, we can see water. Are fish not able to see water like we do because it's their air? Can they instead see air if they were to leave the water?

This question is haunting me. Fishing for answers. Lea, this is this is high quality late night wonderings. Yeah, yeah, Deboki and I just had a 15 minute conversation about this question.

So we could, where's a number of different ways we could go before you go on? I just want to point out that we just had like a 45 minute fight about the fact that you don't have 30 minutes to do a meeting this week, but it turns out that you were just talking for 15 minutes to kaboki about whether or not fish see water. Yeah, yeah, yeah, and I wouldn't and I don't take it back. I want to live.

Our fight about whether you could do this meeting was actually longer than the meeting would have been. That's probably true. But we couldn't have had the meeting then that would have been great. But instead we have this scheduled.

That's right. You know, the people who are going to be in this meeting better listen to the podcast anyway. So heads up is going to be next week. John, question.

Can we see water? Oh, good question. Or do we, I mean, can we see anything hankers? Everything just like reflected light?

I don't know. Like, yeah, we can see water. We can can we though we can see the interface between water and air. And I think that that's what fish see as the fish would say, I see air.

It's always there splashing around on the surface or bubbling up from my butt. So it's the it's only the interface between the things that we see when you have your when you got like a scuba mask on down there. You don't see the water. You see things in the water.

You see bubbles in the water. You see stuff in the water. You see things moving around in the water. But you see that all that stuff with air.

There's feathers and dust in the air. The trees and the grasses are blowing around. And there's an interface between the water and air that we can perceive. But when you look a long way through a lot of water, it gets blue.

And when you look a long way through a lot of air, it gets blue. Okay, I'll I'll buy that sort of that. And I'll tell you what I love about it. I love the idea that all we can really see is the place where things are becoming other things or like the place where things are interacting with each other.

Like, we can't really see land or water. We can only see the places where land and water are interacting with each other. That's that's lovely metaphorically. That said, I have been underwater.

So you can have a hard time totally convincing me of your premise because I've actually when I go underwater, yeah, your proposal is that when I go underwater, like if I'm in a pool, that's totally empty. And I go underwater. And I open my eyes. If you got scuba mask on, if you guys are designed for life, I've got if I've got a scuba mask on, and I go underwater, I am aware, regardless of my my breathing and the other external factors, like my eyes know that it's underwater.

Period. Period. Like they definitely do. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry to tell you that maybe your eyes don't, which is really weird and like a little distressing. But yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, you know you're underwater. There's exactly it's more blue than air. That's but no, my point is that you're seeing water.

But I'm seeing air. You just can't see it unless it's a lot. When can you see a lot of air? When you look up.

Every time you look up and the daytime, look up, you can see a lot of air. No. Is that what you're seeing? What else is there?

Ozone, which is. Oh, it's not. It's not. It's part of the air.

Oh, the book. So the book is case. Well, I can either say no. You see clouds, which are made of air kind of.

No, they're made of water. Those are the red water. They're heavy air. They're watery air.

They're litter. Their clouds are liquid water. I drop lots of liquid water. I understand that, but they're in the air and I can see them agreed.

Yes. But I think the thing you need to do the real fight here, which was which was not settled in my conversation earlier with the book is whether Sky is just seeing the air. I don't see what else it is I'm seeing. There's nothing else there.

Well, there's clouds, which are apparently not talking about clouds. I'm not talking about clouds. I'm talking about just the blue blue sky. Well, Hank, I promise you that if I go outside right now and I look at what I consider to be the sky here in Indianapolis, you'll see a bunch of one early February.

I'm going to see clouds and that I would consider those clouds to be the sky. Indeed, I'm sure that it's the sky because this guy in February and Indianapolis is so close to the ground that you can reach out and touch it. Are the clouds the sky there in the sky? No, cloud in the sky is what you would say.

Or you would say it's cloudy skies because you're imagining you're wrongly imagining a one to one map between language and reality. Let's imagine if you will, you go underwater. Okay, this is how we're going to get to the bottom of it. You go underwater and you see an air cloud, which is basically the exact like this is the exact inverse, right?

Like you look at the cloud, you go down and you see an air cloud. Your argument to me is that you can only see the places where the water and the air cloud are meeting. You can't see the air cloud. No, no, no, no.

Yes, then I don't understand. What does a fish see when it's out of water? That was a question. I was a fish like us.

I don't know. This is a scientific question. There's been research on this subject, surely. I think that a fish will have the same difficulty seeing out of water that we would have seen in water without a mask on because the eyes are made for that kind of interface and they're not getting it.

So then it's just it looks blurry, but it doesn't look like more stuff. It's not going to look like stuffy. If we made air goggles for fish, they need water goggles. No, man.

No, no, no, no, no, no, water goggles are what we wear, Hank, to take the air under the water. That's a water. Okay, the water company ever says, nobody ever says, like, I've got to put on my air goggles so that I can go under the water. They need air goggles.

They need tiny little goggles that you've put on a dying bass so that at least like as it as it slowly suffocates, like in to see the sky. Look into my eyes. It will say to you, watch this happen. So, so the goggles then would have to be full of water though.

So yeah, I assume that would work. And when I say I assume all of this is being said with a kind of Supreme confidence that can only be mustered during a podcast. Yeah, right. It's all part of providing incorrect answers and dubious advice, which is our whole thing.

And I would like someone to tell me before I move to the next question, whether when I look at the sky, a blue cloudless sky, what I'm seeing, if not the color of air and then we're going to move on. I think you're definitely seeing the color of air. I agree with you. This is going to be great.

But you can't see inside where you are right now. I can picture your shed. You can't see air. No, like I'm in my basement right now and I don't, I don't see air.

I see a television. I see a microphone, but I don't see anything between me and my that it's wrong to say that air is invisible because if you look through enough of it, it has a color like even if you're looking at like a distant mountain, it's a little bluish white. That's true. And that's the only thing in between me and that mountain is air.

And so the air has to be the thing that is that color. It has a color. I agree with you. I don't know that that means that you can see it.

Well, that's definitely wrong. No, it's not like, oh, you mean, if you have something that's the color, you're seeing it. You can't, but as no, what else am I doing to it? Let me give you, let me give you, imagine if you will that you're wearing rose-tinted glasses as the metaphor for excessive optimism would have it.

Right. And they're going to be heart-shaped. Yes, you're wearing heart-shaped rose-tinted glasses. When you look through those rose-tinted glasses, my photo shoot, definitely.

Absolutely. 100%. It's like on a seven-repeat, like at a red carpet or like with a studio photographer. I think you're doing promo for some like dumb thing that you didn't want to do that you kind of got sucked into.

Okay. That sounds right. Like you're doing promo for like Metamucil. Oh, I would totally want to do that.

Yeah. And they're like, we need a camera photo shoot. Because you know, when you do one of those photo shoots, and I realized this is a first world problem, but when you do one of those photo shoots, like at the very end, they're always like, hey, can you do something really stupid? And you're just kind of broken down so you do the stupid thing.

And that's the one I use. So you're at the end of the photo shoot. And they're like, hey, can you hold up this canister of Metamucil while also wearing rose-tinted heart-shaped glasses? Right.

And you say sure. Your argument is that when you look through those rose-tinted glasses at the camera person who is photographing you. Interesting. Your argument is that you are seeing not the person, but the tint.

So there's no reason. And I disagree with you. You're definitely seeing both of those things. Now, this is the problem.

You're not having those things. You're seeing the person. There's such a pink, clever, eloquent, smart, quick brother. No one would have been able to think of that that quick.

That's not normal. And that's difficult to deal with. You're just too quick and smart. Thank you.

But I think that I've seen both of them. I think that I've seen both of them. I think I've seen both of them. Yeah.

This is how you do it, everybody. You've got to throw in random compliments after a fight. You think you're seeing both of them. You think you're seeing the color pink as a concept.

In addition to seeing the photographer. Like, you think you're seeing the like, pinkness in addition to seeing the photographer. It's been out. Imagine that the earth is flat and an infinite plane.

Well, first off, first off, it is. Now you can't even see the mountain anymore. So there's a mountain over there. But it's so far where you can't see it all you can see is the gray, white, blue of air.

Now you are seeing air. Hold on a second. Did you just say, imagine the earth is an infinitely long plane and there is no mountain. No, no, there's a mountain out there.

But it's so far where you can't see it. Is that the exact same thing as looking at a cloud with sky? Yes, it is. So now very complicated, hypothetical.

It could just be looking up. We're just right back there. We're right back to blue skies. So like, so like, imagine, it's like a moon.

The moon's out and it's daytime. You're looking at the moon. You're not looking at the sky and you don't see the sky according to John. It's blue, but you don't see it.

Look just to the right of the moon. Now you are looking at the sky and air is blue. Uh, I mean, that's a great counter argument. It's really, it's good.

This is a difficult one for me, but I think I've got it. So when you look at the moon in daytime, you're seeing the moon. Correct. That's what I'm seeing.

You're seeing the moon tinted by air in precisely the same way that you are seeing through the rose tinted glasses. Your argument is that the rose tint itself is the thing that you are seeing. I think you're seeing both of those things. You can only see the thing.

So I actually think, so to get to my point, Hank, I think when you look up at a cloud with sky, you are seeing nothing. I'm definitely seeing the sky. Catherine recently said to me, you're seeing a concept. Answer more questions during your podcast.

So John, here's a challenge for us. Can we answer 10 questions before the ad break in 10 minutes? We do ads. Five questions.

This question comes from Sophie who writes, do you hear John and Hank, how do you figure out what to write about? I just got to flip a coin, Sophie. I just, I try to think about what's the most interesting thing I have heard about recently and whether I could put that in the story. And then I am usually like, nope, but sometimes.

Yeah, when I'm writing a novel, I have no idea what I'm thinking about, except that I'm usually thinking about like, should I be writing about something else? I guess it's the right thing. Am I leading all of these characters into a cultist act from which we will never emerge? Yeah, I'm going to shove them in a corner.

Yeah, how do I give these people something to do while making my point? That's what I'm thinking about. You don't like that at all, really. You don't love the high concept full on theme.

You have a theme, but it's not it's never that it's not like I'm not like George Orwell, like, yeah, this is not really an awful about pigs. It's really an novel about communism. Yeah, I'm not into that jazz. Mostly right now, Sophie, I write about tuberculosis because that's what he's working on because Hank, can I tell you something real quick?

I know we're trying to answer 10 questions in five minutes. Okay, go, go, go. What do you think killed more people in 2022? Tuberculosis or war, homicide, malaria, meningitis, and cholera combined?

Well, I wouldn't have said tuberculosis, but now I would because otherwise that's not an interesting question. But I that's astounding. And seems like the kind of thing that somebody should make a four hour YouTube video about. Yeah.

All right, John, this next question comes from Gwen who asks Dear Hank, John, is there ever a shoal of fish not being targeted by one predator? Does a shoal fish ever get to just vibe out there? Or are they always being harassed by something? Are their entire lives just pure terror?

Gwen, you know, Gwen, I wasn't even aware of the phrase shoal of fish before this question. So I'm probably not the one to ask. But it doesn't seem like probably a lot of life as a fish is some form of pure terror. I think it's pretty bold.

The question has her to assume that there's a form of life that isn't primarily pure terror. I mean, I don't know why I've been having so many stress dreams lately. It's like I'm a shoal of fish. Last night I had a dream that my colleague Nikki rescued my dog.

And then she brought it to my house. And she was like, Hey, I got your dog. And I was like, Oh my God, thank you so much. But I don't have a dog.

And she was like, Yes, you do. And I was like, I really, I'm almost positive. I don't. And she was like, it's yours now.

I was like, great. I busy week. I had a dream that our Hollywood agent tried to hire me to do a contract killing. And it was pretty stressful.

You've got to tell Cassie about that. She'd love that. She loved that. And then she probably wasn't Cassie.

Oh, the other guy. Yeah. Actually, that seems plausible. You gotta go.

Go on your last year, Hank and John. What's your favorite part of the movie? Gunter of any favorite quotes from on your. The part where we're big chairs walks up to Hannibal and says, Yeah, you've only got one more fat.

Nope. You've sir, that one was a big one. That's a good quote. My favorite quote is when Martin Sores says he was asked about this whole thing by his son.

And he said, indeed, I did make that movie. All right. This question comes from Cora, who's six years old, keeping on with the marine theme. Dear John and Hank, do sea creatures have boogers?

Oh, very interesting question, Cora. They certainly have mucus. Yeah, boogers are kind of like dried mucus. And that's tricky under the ocean, where there's a lot of unless you're in an air cloud.

But I think that you could definitely have mucus that sort of collects enough for it to seem like a booger. There are some little, so I was saying, it was used because in a bunch of different ways in the ocean. But there's a thing called a vardation, which are little marine invertebrates. They're almost like, they look like a jellyfish, basically.

And they sort of like, like cover themselves in mucus. And then vampire squids will sort of collect them up and like make them into little mucus balls that they then eat. So they're like little mucus meatballs that they chomp down on. So they're sort of like, they're wet boogers.

Wet booger. Yeah. But Cora, just because some animals do that doesn't mean that you should. This next question comes from Kristen who writes, Dear John and Hank, how long would it take to walk around the moon?

Merry Christmas, Kristen. I could answer this question scientifically, and then Hank can give you a dumb answer. The scientific answer is forever, because you would definitely die before it happened. So it would be eternity.

So, but also, NASA has actually tried to figure out how fast folks could walk in a more refined space suit than the ones that the Apollo astronauts have, which their talks to be was like 1.4 miles per hour, which is pretty slow. But if you got a better one, they tested people out with sort of moon-like situations and they showed that people could walk about normal walking speed. So 3 miles per hour, which is a little slower than like the maximum walking speed on Earth. And at that speed, it would take 91 days to walk this circumference of the moon if you walked nonstop and didn't, it just went forever, which you of course wouldn't do.

And also assuming you didn't have to walk around anything. So if you just just did the equator, but you're going to have to go around to craters and stuff, and also you're going to have to stop to sleep and go to the bathroom and eat and stuff. So probably more than a year, more than a year. I don't think I knew the moon was that big.

Yeah, it's big. I mean, it's not that big, it's big. Yeah, it's big. Well, according to you, I've only ever seen it through seeing something else.

I mean, it's tricky. I've never been able to directly observe the moon. Well, this thing is like people might say, in the nighttime, when there's no light in the sky, you can't see air. And so air is air in that case is air visible.

But John, when there's no light, you can't see anything. There is light, Hank. And I know there's like everything's invisible when you can't see light. No, there is light.

And I know there's light because I look up and I see the stars. And now I know for a fact, you just undermine your own argument in the most dramatic way. It's like a moment, it's like a moment from Law and Order SVU, where all of a sudden the defendant is in big trouble. We're not talking about it, John, we don't have time for this.

You got to ask another question. My point stands. You just confessed. That's what I'm saying.

Jesse asks, dear Hank, but not John, why do people insist on calling me Jess when I introduce myself as Jessica to them? I go by Jess, but basically everyone I talk to when I meet them, they always without fail abbreviate my name. When I did not give them permission, you get to call me Jess. Jess.

Okay, great. Cool. Why do people do this? Catherine is Catherine and occasionally a person will call her Kathy, which is not the same name.

Oh, yeah. I call Catherine KitKat and she's fine with it. What? If I don't, I would never.

I would never call Catherine anything but Catherine. I would. I'm afraid to have even made that joke to be honest with you. Yeah, it is weird.

Like, sometimes people like, sometimes people will call me Johnny and I will, I will flat out. I will correct them because it's just, that's a, that's a red line for me. There are awesome Johnies in the world. I'm just not one of them.

That's what I think I do. Jess or Jessica, I think if somebody calls you Jess when you want to be called Jessica, you should say, uh-uh. No, Jessica. Yeah, it's Jessica.

I saw a post on Reddit today that was a person's, all of their name tags since as they've worked at McDonald's and they moved up to being a licensee where they're like actually run, run some McDonald's restaurants. And the great thing was that her name was Jenny. And as she got up the line, she changed it and her name tag said Jennifer. And then when she became the licensee and could, when it was like running McDonald's store, she's changed it back to Jenny.

She was like, I don't need to, I don't need to look official anymore. I am official. You can call me Jenny. Yeah, it's a power move.

And also people, but in general, you should get called what you want people to call you. Yes. That's yours. That's yours.

You're in control of that. Yeah. You should be able to decide your Appalachian app and app. Yeah, Appalachian, like a mountain.

Next question comes from Rachel who writes, do your John and Hank, I just learned the cursed information that your bones may be weird colors if in the past you have taken medications like Accutane. What color would you choose for your bones to be? First, okay, I got to do a little fact check. It's not Accutane.

There are some antibiotics that can turn your bones black. And some of those antibiotics are prescribed for acne. But I don't think that it's Accutane itself. It's a different thing, but it's an acne medication.

And the answer to that question, Rose tinted, of course. I got to look up which antibiotic it is because they were all invented for TV. It's Tetricyclines. Tetricyclines.

Which was used to treat tuberculosis. I mean, yeah, it's a bacteria. I would like my bones to be glow in the dark. Oh, clever.

Like I'd like them to look a little bit like yellow, little neon, little fluorescent. Yeah, well they are. They do glow under black light. I know, but I want them to be like that full bright yellow put the stars up on your ceiling in 1987.

Like all the lights turn off and you're still glowing. Exactly. And ideally all the lights turn off and I'm glowing through my skin. This reminds me of my one of our sponsors this week, which is Glow Bones.

Glow Bones is a special potion that I've invented. You can get it as a subscription service or tack it onto your awesome socks club subscription. And it does only one thing for you, which is when you become a skeleton, you will glow in the dark and that will be awesome. It also tastes like Mountain Dew.

Today's podcast is also of course brought to you by Belladonna. Belladonna, a poison that women were told in fashion magazines to apply to their eyelids. So they would have that wide-eyed sunken-eyed consumptive look. God, I can't wait for this video.

This podcast is also brought to you by the dumb thing I didn't want to do, but got sucked into. It was, I thought it would be really cool, but then they made it weird. And I had to do is stupid photoshoot wearing rose-dated glasses with Metamucil. And of course, today's podcast is brought to you by the six paragraphs of Charles Dickens, Nicholas, Nickelby, where he describes a dread disease without ever naming it because he didn't have to name it because 30% of people died of tuberculosis.

We also have Project Frost Musher from Carina from Maryland to Nerdfighteria as a throwback to early Dear Hank and John, like episode 35 currently on my Tumblr. Please read this rather dark, real key poem. Rilka, I've never known. It's always, I don't even think Rilka knew.

It's like jilling a ham and gilling ham. Nobody knows for sure. Yeah, DFTBA friends. I'm slipping, I'm slipping away, like sand slipping through fingers.

All my cells are open and all so thirsty. I ache and swell in 100 places, but mostly in the middle of my heart. I want to die, leave me alone. I feel I'm almost there where the great terror can dismember me.

That poem was either about a shoal of fish or about tuberculosis. But I can't tell which one. I almost don't want to tell you. This is a fish, right?

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See website for more details. This next question comes from James who asks deerhank and John, am I moving through time or is time moving through through me, Mario's and Luigi's James? James, time doesn't exist and we don't know what it is or how it works. So it could really be either way or both or neither.

Time might just be the way that we think of everything getting further away from everything else. It feels like it exists so I'm going to be like, yeah, that seems like a thing. Yeah. It doesn't feel like it exists.

I'm not totally convinced that it always does. I feel like I know things have happened and will happen and that feels like time existing. Right, but it's the old Stephen Hawking question. Why?

It's a thought experiment. Why can we see into the past and not into the future? And increasingly the answer is for a long time we couldn't see into the past with any kind of level of clarity and increasingly we can see into the future, right? Like we know whether it's going to snow in Indianapolis tomorrow with reasonable certainty, which is why like I think you can see air.

So anyway, as I was saying, despite the fact that when you look up at quote unquote air in the night sky, you see nothing except for the stars that are definitely passed to the air. Yeah, I think some things need more light for you to be able to see like air. Oh, so your argument. Okay, so just to be clear, your argument is that air is visible if and only if a lot of light is shown on it.

I think everything is invisible if no light is shown on it. Sure. I agree. But like when I look up at the moon at night, I can see the moon and I can also see trees and the grass and my body and shadows.

Yeah, that's more visible. What I can't see visible is not binding is the air. Oh, yeah. Oh, now we're going to now now you're going to say you're creating a false construction visible thing.

It's not a construction. Okay, visible is real. Yeah, I just I'm just saying that it's not on or off. Right.

I agree with that. There are some things that are more visible than other things. I know and one of the things that is less visible than things that are visible is the sky. Thanks for coming from Ben who asked during a John about a teddy bear for a friend's birthday.

But as the teddy bear has been sitting in my room waiting for the big day, I have grown attached to it is unethical to keep a gift even if the only person who knows about the gift is myself. Can I keep this teddy bear and buy a new one for her birthday? Pumpkin's and penguins Ben. Of course.

That's your teddy bear now. You love it. Yeah, you're you can keep that teddy bear as long as you haven't promised it to someone else. Right.

Like as long as you haven't said like I got you this teddy bear for your birthday. You can go on and get a different teddy bear or a different present altogether. Yeah, yeah. Or like who gives people presents anymore?

Just like Happy Birthday. It's a text. Yeah, just a text and like maybe Venmo them 10 bucks be like, yeah, go and take a picture of the teddy bear that's on your bed and be like, I love this teddy bear. It always makes me think of you.

I don't know why. Can't say. I mean, I can't it's hard to imagine a creepier birthday text and photograph of a random teddy bear. I love this teddy bear.

It makes me think of you Happy Birthday. Like what? It depends on the relationship. Maybe.

What explain to me what the relationship is where that's not at all weird. I'm about to I'm about to text somebody a picture of a teddy bear. Who's the first person? If the person is one of if I guess the person in the first three guesses and we're going to bleep out the names, then you then it doesn't count because I think I know who it is.

Okay. So my first guess is really obscure. Is the person obscure? No, it's me.

That's not no. You can't. That doesn't count, man. That doesn't count.

First off, it's not even a teddy bear. He texted me of like a picture of a cat. That's like right by his computer like right by his really, really dirty keyboard. Oh, that's pretty bad.

That's a bad angle. It's a chip clip and it is a bear or a cat. I think it's a cat. It's not a teddy bear.

It's on no level is a teddy bear. It's clearly a cat. It really looked like a bear. Well, since we were talking about bears because that has to be fair.

It's not a great cat. So I see how you got confused. Like it's got sort of bear ears, but a cat face. All right.

It's time for the on port news from Mars and AFC Wimbledon. We did a pretty good job answering some actual questions. Thank you. Thank you to Katherine for the inspiration.

Yeah. We need to do that more often. We need to answer more questions. So that was great.

I feel like we made a lot of progress there. The news from AFC Wimbledon Hank is that I was at an AFC Wimbledon game this weekend with people from Nerdfighteria who had gotten a project for awesome perk wherein we were all going to see an AFC Wimbledon game together in March or April of 2020. And it finally happened. Almost everybody was able to go.

It was really lovely. We had an awesome time. It was great. It was just great to be at Plow Lane with a packed house.

It was sold out. It was rocking. AFC Wimbledon played Stockport County, which is apparently a large club, even though I'd never heard of them. And so they sold out their little away end.

And it was great. It was an awesome experience. And best of all, actually not best of all, because like the hang was the best part. But as an added bonus, AFC Wimbledon won the game.

One nil. Oh, God, it was an ugly, ugly game. I loved it. I loved it.

I love watching Harry Pell make the lives of opposing players miserable. I love it. And he scored the goal the best part of this entire experience. All these people from around the world flew to London to see an AFC Wimbledon game.

Hank, we waited three years to be together. We go and finally get to see this game. And then at halftime, it's nil-nil. We go inside.

We're chatting about the game. Nick Zanev, our goalkeeper, had saved a penalty. Really good. Oh, wow.

On a bad penalty call. Classic example of how if you zoom all the way out, the ball doesn't lie. The great thing about ball-based games is that the ball ultimately knows. And the penalty call was so bad that the ball was like, I can't go in the net.

Not after that. And so Nick Zanev made a great save. So we went inside. We had a beer.

We were chatting. And then Rose-Yana was like, hey, we should probably go back off in the second half. And I was telling the story or something. I was like, yeah, yeah, let's go out.

Let's go out. And they scored Wimbledon scored while we were not watching while we were still hanging out. We were in the line to get back to our seats. So none of us saw the only goal of the game.

But apparently it was scored by Harry Pell. And we won one fill. And the moment that happened, I was like, that's 100% going to be the only goal of the game. There was no point, even though Stockford County kept piling on the pressure, I was like, there is no chance.

Right. We've seen the only goal of the game. That's it makes sense. But Wimbledon are now up to 10th, 10th in the lead.

What? Two table, only three points off of the playoffs. I don't know how it's there's so there's only what eight people in the playoffs. So the top three teams in league two all go up to league one and then four, five, six, seven, make it to the playoffs and we're in 10th.

It's not impossible. We have lost several of our best players. That's the best win. Which is a bit of calm, but hey, we won that game.

So anything's possible. We'll see doing that. This week at Mars news, the Perseverance Rover has made itself a little backup cash for its rock collections. Collecting rock samples around Mars, stashing them in tubes that are stored on its body.

And that will be set back to Earth and future mission is the idea. But sometimes rovers don't last. So to prepare for the possibility that something could prevent Perseverance from following through on that plan, they, uh, Rover has stored some parts of its samples in an area called three forks, which since we're doing deep cut literary jokes is where Armand Gamash is a vampire. In this case, don't get that one.

Can't deliver the future fetch. If the Rover can't deliver the future fetch mission will just go to three forks and pick up the samples from there. Wow. That's pretty cool.

I love the idea of like the Rover being like, yeah, I got to have like a backup rock stash. Yeah. I mean, we all got like, we all got one of those little kids always got a backup rock stash. Yeah, they've always got like a little bag of rock squirreled away somewhere in their rooms.

I didn't tell you the most important news from A.S.C. Whimbledon this weekend, which is very, which is a big deal and very worrisome, which is that only two teams get relegated out of league two and then they're not in a football league. Any more like they're not technically a full time professional team anymore, I guess. And one of those two teams right now is Gillingham or Jillingham.

And it would be devastating to me personally if they got relegated because I love that joke. I think you'll make it. No, like if we don't play Gillingham and or Jillingham two times a year, it's going to be hard for me to even go on. I love that joke.

So I'm really I'm rooting hard for Gillingham and or Jillingham to pull out of that bottom two, which speaks to how un-worryed I am about relegation at the moment. Like the fact that I'm rooting for teams at the bottom indicates that things are going pretty well. It's very exciting, John. I love being in the top half.

Me too. Me to the bottom half of the top half. But the top half. Well, there's only one way to get to the top half of the top half and that's through the bottom half of the top half.

Right. That's what she said. This podcast is edited by Jiggly. You can email us at Hankajonichime.com.

We love your questions and we'll try to answer more of them because that was fun. Actually doing the podcast thing. We're off the record of our Patreon only podcast. This week and stuff you can find out about that at Patreon.com slash your Hankajon.

This podcast is edited by Joseph Tuna-Medich. It's produced by Rosie on a host. Our communication score winner is Brooke Shotwell. Our editorial assistant is Debukitra Kavardi.

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