364: Fortifying for the holiday

In todays episode Betsy talks about the holidays and preserving your energy for the time ahead. Transcript: Welcome to the art of Living big podcast. My name is Betsy Peik. I’m an author, a speaker, and a trainer of NLP and hypnotherapy. And I’m focused on helping you understand and design your life with the power of the subconscious. This podcast is designed to help you think differently about what could be possible for your life. Now, let’s go live big. Betsy [00:00:32]:Hello. Hi, fellow adventurers. So if you’re new here, I was thinking this during the last show. If you’re new here, I always say fellow adventurers, because I believe that we have chosen to come here on this big adventure, ups and downs and all of it. So welcome, fellow adventurers, to today’s show. I missed last week. I didn’t really miss. I am just handling a lot, and the thing that I am most focused on is keeping my energy intact. So I’m doing what I can while keeping my own energy totally full. And I highly recommend that because I am doing a lot of things and still feeling really good. So we are about to head into the holidays. I am taking a week off. It’s like a week in a day, right? Because New Year’s Day falls on Monday. So I will be back. I’m going to be out of the office Friday afternoon and then back on January 2. And I’m really looking forward to it. I am going to be fully present. I am going to be putting my phone away and focused where I am. And I’m just so excited. My daughter is moving. If you’ve been here for a little while, she lives near where I used to live, my old apartment, after I sold my house. And I moved into that apartment. And she lives not far from there because she works over there. Well, the place that she works has two locations, and the other location is right near my new house. Anyway, my new house is more in the city, right? It’s in Atlanta. And it’s so much more her speed. And I just kept telling her, you would love it here, you need to come. It’s maybe 10 miles, but it’s 30 minutes. Anyway, she’s moving. She’s moving right down the road. I mean, far enough away to have her own space, but close enough so it wouldn’t be a big deal to run over and get coffee or whatever. And I’m so, so excited about it. So it’s a season of really good, really good stuff. So today I wanted to talk a little bit about an idea that has been coming up. Like, as people have been messaging me, know, reaching out on Instagram or even inside the group. If you’re not inside the Facebook group, make sure to join the art of living. Big Facebook group. We’re really focused in there on relationships and how to shift. But the showing up for yourself is a theme in everything that I do, in all the work that I do. Okay, so I wanted to talk about this idea that, especially at the know, so many people were messaging me and they’re like, oh, my gosh, it’s the holiday. And I’m so excited, and there’s so much to do. There’s so much to do that I feel like I can’t even enjoy it. And then it’s gone, it’s done. And all I want to do is shut the door and not talk to anybody and just hide in the bathroom and be alone. And I think this is a really common thing. The magic of Christmas is really moms all over the place and some dads, too, right? But putting it all together, making it all work, doing the planning and the thinking, down to having enough magic tape and bows for the presents, to putting the Christmas tree together and making sure everybody’s stockings are filled. I mean, so much of that falls on our plates. And for a lot of us, we also still have work to do, right? Full time jobs and showing up in our lives and our relationships and wanting to maintain some sort of regular schedule of having things that are important to us, having maybe a morning routine or where we journal or do things. And my thought that I wanted to give you for the holiday, and this is really a thought that I bring a lot into all the work that I do. But if you need that, I always think there is a yin and a yang to everything, right? There is another side to everything that we’re experiencing and a duality in the world. And so if you’re feeling like I am doing everything and I’m so drained, I need more space, I need to not have to think about all of this stuff so much. I want to offer you the idea that maybe somebody else needs to step up. Maybe that’s part of their journey. But you doing everything isn’t allowing space for them to even notice or have an opportunity to step up. Okay, so now I know in your head you’re like, if I don’t do it, nobody will do it. And you know what? That might be true. That might be true right now. But I want to offer you the thought that if you need space and you need rest, that there’s another side to that, which is that somebody else needs to be doing stuff. And when I say needs to be, this is what I mean by that. If you’re newer here, what I mean by that is we are adventurers, right? We’re coming here to have this adventure. And I know for me that I would do a lot of stuff. I would do it all, and then I would say, I’m doing it all and never giving any space for anybody else to fill any void because I didn’t allow there to be a void. And then I became resentful and angry that nobody else was stepping up to do anything. You may be thinking, well, this Christmas isn’t going to be it. And that’s okay, because I think we have this feeling throughout our lives. I think there is something in here for us to learn in terms of creating a place for somebody else to step up, creating a space for someone else to pick up the slack or do the things. And I think that we are so wired to making sure that it all goes right. I’m using air quotes, right, that we don’t give any space for it to go wrong. What if you didn’t do it like that thing that’s on your mind, that you’re like, oh, my God, I just don’t know if I can do it all. What if you didn’t? I was talking to somebody the other day and they were like, I have this to go to and that to go to and this and that, and I have to do this, and I got to finish that. And I mean, I was like, oh, my God, I’m really tired just listening now. For some people, they love that. And if that’s you and you’re not feeling any stress around it, then do it. But if you’re feeling overwhelmed by it, say no. Be like, I was going to be able to do this thing and I can’t. Or learn that next year I can’t do all of this. And next month, when something comes up, I’m going to listen into me. Here’s what I think happens, is that we know that something’s too much or that we can’t do it all, but we abandon ourselves because we think we have to do it. And when we abandon ourselves and think we have to do it, we don’t leave space for anyone else to do it. And then we get resentful because we are doing it all. And we lash out or get angry or just get generally done, overwhelmed and done with somebody because they’re not doing the thing that we need them to do when we haven’t given them space to do it. Now will everybody step up and fill the void? No. And I think that’s where you have to say, and you have to know yourself really well. This is the work that I do with women, right. Is know yourself so well that you know what you need and you have a strength to be able to say, that’s what I need. And even if things don’t go the way you would have had them go, you’re okay with it because you still have energy, you still have yourself, and you don’t feel like you’ve abandoned yourself. And you feel good and strong and fortified and you can keep going. But the other option is to completely deplete yourself. And I think when our kids are young, I mean, I think that we do a lot of that trying to make it all happen. So I just want to offer you the thought, and maybe this isn’t an overarching theme. Maybe it’s just for one aspect of something that’s going to happen over the holiday, right, where it’s the day after Christmas and everybody’s going to the mall or whatever it is, and you’re like, I really don’t want to go, but I’m going to go. Maybe you just pause and say, is it true? Is it true that I have to do this? What would happen if I didn’t? And would I feel like I was honoring myself more if I just did what I needed? If you are moving through the world and you are feeling good and you are balancing your energy and you are saying yes and knowing you need to, then I’m giving you a big hell. Yeah. Because that is hard to do. Gosh, I teach this, and it can be hard to do. And so I want to just offer you permission. As we dive into the next week or so of holiday things, what do you need? And if you overextend yourself for someone in one area this season, because you already have commitments and you want to keep your word, how can you give something back to yourself? How can you take that time and how can you refortify so that by the time January 2 comes around, you’re not frazzled, just diving right back in and probably putting a lot of pressure on yourself to meet some new goal or resolution? Think about what you need. Give yourself what you need. Slow down and appreciate how far you’ve come and what you’ve done and how much you do for everybody around you and give a little bit of that to yourself. All right. I hope you have a merry, Merry Christmas. If you celebrate, I hope you have a happy new year. And I will see you after the holiday. I love you so much. I’ll see you all soon. Bye bye. Betsy [00:12:09]:Hey, thanks so much for listening to today’s show, and thank you for sharing the show with your friends. Betsy [00:12:14]:I love when you guys do that. Betsy [00:12:15]:I appreciate it so much. And thank you for leaving me a review on iTunes. I know that it matters because when I go to find a podcast, I always look to see what the reviews are. So it really means a lot to me that you take a minute to figure out how to even make that happen. Now, if you want to find me, find me on social media. I’m usually on Instagram, starting out on TikTok. It’s just my name, betsype. And that’s my website, too, betsype.com. And you can find out all about the work that I do, having me speak for an event that you might be helping to plan or getting trained inside my alchemy institute. But to make it really easy, if you want me, just shoot me a DM. Shoot me a direct message on Instagram. Betsy [00:12:59]:And I will be at your service. Betsy [00:13:00]:Thanks again for listening, and I will. Betsy [00:13:02]:See you all next week.