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Tickets go on sale to the general public June 30th at somethingworthknowing.com. So come build a better world with us on September 16th and experience something worth knowing you can get your ticket at Complexly.info slash something. And welcome to Dear Hank and John! Where is I like to call it, Dear Sam and Hank?
It's a podcast with two brothers and sometimes a brother and a friend. Did you give you a piece of rice, bring you all the weeks to Mr. Mars and AOC Wimbledon and also something else that I've forgotten? Sam, what does Batman call his grandmother when he needs something?
Oh I couldn't possibly tell you, Hank. When something tells me this isn't a rhetorical question that you have to answer. Yeah, he says nananananananananananananananananananananananananananana, like that. That's funnier than I thought it was going to be.
Oh really? Oh well, I thought it was not good. So if you like that one, tone into other episodes of Dear Hank and John, where they're even worse! Yeah that's our show.
So if anyone knows who this man is, this is Sam Sam Ries, she is the host of Game Changer and also a creator executive like me over at college, humor and dropout TV where they do really so many wonderful amazing things that I love to consume and enjoy. Oh, thank you so much, Hank. Your fandom is truly humbling and intimidating the time you put something out into the world that says we're great, I'm like, well, they're razeth the bar. Well, you keep raising your own bar, which seems like a lot.
Do you worry about raising your own bar so high that the bar that you cannot get over it? I do, I've, yes, we are poll vultures here. Yeah. It's fun.
What I like to say is with every season of Game Changer, I ask myself, how are we gonna top this next season? And then every season I tell myself, that's next season's problem. Yeah, that's right. And then you do it, at least so far.
So far, so far, you just wait. Yeah, when I first started watching Game Changer, you said to me, don't watch the beginning and that was totally wrong. Those are so good too. So what you need to know, one of the great things about being a vlogbrother is that you make a video every single week and so you know that you're not gonna get better every time.
Like there's gonna be some weeks where it's just like, all right, I'm gonna do it. I'm not totally committed to this idea. I don't know. We're gonna do it.
We're gonna do it. We can with this one. Yes, yes. I think that's a part of it.
I mean, for me, that's a part of it. And then what you have to decide is the goal isn't necessarily to strike gold every time. The goal is to create a good album. You have to look at it like the musicians do and say, well, over the course of, you know, 10.
I mean, it keeps the bar high. Very high. You gotta have it hit in there. Yeah, you wanna hit, but you also, you can't like strive for a hit.
That's like, you know, looking directly at a star. You need to look somewhere adjacent to the star. Ah, your stripes are hits. You don't think Taylor Swift shifts down and is like, well, I know, it starts like feel one and be like, I think this is it.
I think this is the one. I think this is the one. If you finish it on the podcast, we could have asked her. It's true.
I did actually say that, didn't I? That I had offered Taylor Swift your time slot, but she hadn't taken it up. Yeah, you said, I'm gonna, if Taylor Swift ops it, I'm gonna bump you and I went, honestly, if Taylor Swift shows up, bump me forever. Just like, you know, there's, you can, you can do anything, that you can't do anything else if Taylor Swift is gonna show up.
That's the rules. Truly. That's the rules of 2023 or else you'll lose your whole audience. Like they will also won't forgive you.
Oh, for sure, for sure. Taylor Swift could successfully sub in for me in any moment of my life and be better than I would. She could stand in for me at the DMV and just knock it out of the park. I bet she's a delight at the DMV.
I'm sure she is. I'm sure she did that. Do you just California have a special thing for celebrities to go to the DMV? This is a fantastic question.
Yeah. Do celebrities have to go to the DMV? Is there like a special DMV? Right, yeah.
I feel like somebody does it for her. It's gotta be. Yeah, like there's a VIP section somewhere in the back. Yeah, DMV Fast Pass.
Yeah. Yeah, I want that. It's like a hot day. We have that in Missoul.
You can schedule ahead of time so you don't have to wait once you're there. Really? Just like a Fast Pass. Yeah, look at that.
Sometimes it doesn't work. But sometimes it does. What's good to somebody that's a couple of questions from our listeners. You want to do some of those?
Sure. OK, this first one comes from Michael who asks Steer Hank and Sam. I recently moved to a busier road and discovered that people honk their car horns in my neighborhood a lot more than I previously realized. That made me think, should we have a secondary quieter horn installed on all cars for non-emergency?
It's like just get off your phone at this green light, please. You can take out any of the targets except for that one. That's Michael. What?
What? You can take out any of the targets except for that one. That's Michael. I don't get it.
My goal? You can take out any of the targets. Now I feel like I'm unraveling poetry that I read in middle school. I think maybe it's Michael.
Oh, that's Michael. Oh, that's very astute. Michael's definitely created some work for us. This is not the first time that the secondary car horn has been proposed on a podcast.
Is that a fact? On this podcast? That's my guess. In fact, I'm pretty sure I've listened to some Mackerel-like content about the secondary car horn.
Well, the answer to the question is clearly yes. I happen to know anecdotally that in Japan, they turn often on their hazard lights as a way of saying thank you, which I always thought was like a tremendous big reach to do that. I don't know. I'm always looking when I turn the hazard on.
I'm like, where the heck is this thing? Yeah, for sure. Well, because we're not in the habit of using them. But I always thought that was like a clever use of existing infrastructure.
Yeah, because it doesn't require that we modify anything, except our behavior. Well, yeah. And it's a thank you. And that's not going to get somebody's attention at a stoplight, but it is going to achieve a goal.
Yeah, I don't know about you. But like a positive car etiquette means the world. Like if I live on a very narrow street and I have to dodge cars coming my direction all the time. And if I get a little hand, a little thank you hand, it just makes my day.
But if I don't, my blood boils. That's the end. I'm telling Taylor Swift about you. So she'll revoke my driver's license.
The I was an Uber recently. And he had one of these. This is why I wanted to ask this question. It's because he had a little device that had six buttons on it.
And when we were stopped at a stoplight and nobody was going, he pushed a button and it made a noise. It was not a car horn. And it was just a loud fart sound. It wasn't.
It was like a little honk. Whoa. But you only know what one of those six buttons. Yeah, there's five other buttons.
At least big mystery. Yeah. I should have said, hey, buddy, I want you to push that other button. I want you to call them fun.
Show me what your buttons do. I mean, I do really like the idea of a programmable car horn because I think I'd love the opportunity to make it say human words. How many times have you been driving or just be convenient to be able to say, hey, I guess that's a beep. Yeah.
Or I guess thanks. Thanks for the lights. It's very good. I used to drive a Honda Civic, which occurs to me as a Japanese car.
And the hazard lights was a very big button over the radio destroyed over the stereo display. So maybe that's why. Maybe that's why it's so easy to get to. I do do it.
It's like if someone allows me to merge, I do, because I was so enchanted by this idea turn off and on. It's crazy. But I have no idea if this is registered with anybody. We have a thing like this in Montana.
I don't know if people have this other places. But it's something that I can tell a number of people are trying to make happen, but it hasn't quite happened yet. Which is that there's a tunnel in town that goes underneath the rail retracts. And when you go in that tunnel, people hunk sometimes, rarely.
And I hunk every time, because I'm like, anytime that we're going to do something together as a town, I'm like, yes. Or as a species, whatever. As Americans, I don't know if this is like more people do this. But I get in that tunnel.
I'm like, hock hock hock. And if anybody else hocks, it just makes my day. Or if I hear somebody hunk first, then I'm like, ah, this is us. Us being humans, look at us.
Yeah. It was good. Oh, yeah. I mean, that's just tribal mentality right there.
That's dancing around the hearth. You know what I mean? Yeah. I want to do something with a stranger.
Something very simple and easy. Yeah, for sure. For sure. That's not the DMV.
Yeah. I mean, I guess, so to rewind for a moment, the question would be Hank, if you had five car horns or six, as the case may be, what would you do with five car horns? Well, you know, like, whatever's got to be sort of like, like, Loki, can I pet your dog? That's got to be on there.
I like that number one. Yeah, that's number two. After like, just like a little hunk. Sure.
So sometimes you want to go for a little hunk and you get a bigger one than you intended. Oh, all the time. Yeah. So I want to go, I got definite little hunk.
And then number three would, oh, it would be apology and it would be Taylor Swift saying, it's me, hi, I'm the problem, it's me. That's the third one. That's fantastic. Yeah, fourth one is just a dog barking.
Yes. And that's for when somebody's coming up to your car and you know, would rather than not be there. For sure. It's a way to say there's a big dog in here.
There's a big dog in here. The fifth is a narwhal barking, which you don't know what that sounds like, but it's very cool. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
A narwhal barking. And that one's there just for the novelty of it. Yeah, you want to have that sometimes. Yeah.
You just want to be able to show off to friends some strange sounds. Yeah. And then last one's just going to be the sound of falling rain on a summer day. Oh, that's beautiful.
Yeah. That's for the rare moments where you want to sleep in your car and you need some good points. I thought you were on the fall asleep. That's what you want when you're driving.
What ever is that? 100% great answer to my question. Thanks. What is your seventh deal?
My seventh goes, hey. Hey, what's the thing? I think the one that you very in character left out is the angry car court. And the question is, what would that sound like in a world in which it were evolved?
What do you mean? Well, I think the horn is doing its job. Well, you gave us six horns and the first one was a polite meep. Yeah, I still got a main horn.
Oh, yeah. I don't know if you did. What I'm saying is I think there's an evolution of the end of the car horn. It just goes, you hurt my feelings.
Yeah, that's good. You know? I think everybody needs to know that we're all fragile. We're all human.
I'll just try to make it through the world. Yeah. And this might look like just like a big ball of steel. But there's a little soft man in here.
And he's got he's got he gets hurt feelings too. That's right. I'm not sure if you can get the leadership over your feelings. You're immediately diffusing the situation.
Do you want to ask another question for us? Oh, sure. I'm done with this. This question comes from anonymous deer-hand-hand-sam.
Why is it that humans are the only animal that need to use toilet paper? My dog doesn't. The cat doesn't. I don't see any other animals needing to wipe their butts.
It's the food we eat, right? Well, certainly not. It could be in part the food we eat. But sometimes a dog needs to wipe their butt.
Like sometimes a dog gets into something and then there's a whole situation back there. If you've owned a dog, in particular like me, if you've owned a long-haired dog, you know just how not to say there are any wrong questions. But this is an uninformed question. Yeah, I mean, out in the woods, you know, like you aren't going to have that service.
But I will say cats and dogs and many other mammals clean their butts. They just do it in a way that you cannot physically or wouldn't want to. Yeah, yeah, for sure. So that's I.
Yeah, I do also, and correct me if I'm wrong, Hank, I mean, we as humans, we walk upright. Yeah, and this is what I think. Because we walk upright, well, I don't know, you know, which is the chicken and the egg here. But we have big butts.
We do. That'll allow us. That's because we walk upright to ascend into the sky, these large butt muscles. And I think what that means is that we, unlike a dog or a cat, are going to chafe more.
Oh, that's true. Because of our art. Because you want to be clean in there. Because otherwise, there's stuff in there and it's getting rubbed around.
Yeah. And that's no good. That is a good point. But also, there's an additional detail here, which is simply that, according to a quote from a scientist, that I'm going to read to you right now, because of our vertical posture.
The area used for releasing urine and feces is compressed between the thighs and buttocks. So we are more likely than other animals to foul ourselves. Wow. It's just a miracle of evolution that we're the dominant species, isn't it?
Yeah. Well, is this one of the sort of filter points where you can't evolve upright posture and free up your hands unless and until you're smart enough to use wiping instruments? That sounds right. That sounds right.
God forbid that animals learn to wipe, or it's all uphill for them from there and down from there. Yeah, downhill for us, uphill for them, but also downhill for them. Because this is hard. For sure.
For sure. It's a lot of pressure to be. Wildly inconvenient. It seems like my cat just licking a f*** is doing fine.
Yes, for sure. It is sad and silly that being a human being involves so many use of different products. Yeah. We need these products to support us.
It's true. Well, and also we want them. So some of them we need. And some of them we want.
There was also an additional thought in this article that was simply we are just a little less happy being disgusting. Yeah. Yeah, that is true. And like I'm talking with a bunch of dingleberries sticking off its butt is not concerned about that.
And I can attest to that. Both as far as my dog and my cat is concerned. In fact, to try to get dingleberries off my cat, you would think my cat wants them there. I've actually had my cat come up to me and complain.
And I'm like, what's wrong with you? You never do this. And I'm like, oh, you got a whole piece of sh**. You can't get on your butt hairs.
He doesn't like it. I don't like that. I feel like we learned a lot just now about each other, about our world. Yes.
I'm asking you another question. This one is from Lea who asks, do you know who asks? If Cowboys say howdy, just say hello. How do they say goodbye?
Insert your chosen cowboy farewell here. Lea. This is a fantastic question. I promise I didn't intend for this to be self-promotional.
There is a season of our D&D actual play show in which I play a cowboy or to be more specific, a pig or a javelina cowboy. And in research for that character, I did do a lot of studying cowboy-isms. I think there's a few different answers to this question. Well, I live in a place where people say howdy, which people don't realize is a thing sometimes.
So I say howdy because I lived here for so long. Do you really? I do. And it's not that bad.
Do people say y'all? People say y'all some. OK. But people, but like Montana say howdy.
And it's like totally normal. And you don't notice it anymore. And I went to Australia and I said howdy to somebody. And they looked at me and I was like, and they were like, do you actually do that in America?
They looked at you like you were wearing a 10-gallon hat. Yeah. And they were like, that was so charming. And I was like, at the same time, you say good day.
Like it happens all the time when you're over there. People say good day. And you're like, all right, good day, mate. We're doing it.
We're being our stereotypical selves. Howdy, good day. There's something about good day mate in an American accent, which just falls flat. Yeah, but howdy sounds often.
But do you have any cowboy goodbyes? Because I don't know what we say here. I think the answer is mostly. I think, and I will do this in dialect.
I think that the realistic answers to this question are probably audio, some ego, or so long. But there's also some fun caboyisms. So long is good. I wouldn't normally say so long.
But it's better if you say so long partner, right? For sure, for sure. So long partner. There's also some funnyisms such as time to hit the dusty trail.
Great. Same alien. Good to have you on the podcast. The other switch was a no, but same alien.
Don't let the door hit you. We're the good Lord. Split you. Oh, wow.
So that's more like you leave, not I'm leaving. That's true. That's true. I believe there's also one about let's put the chairs in the wagon.
So this is causing me a thought, which is I've watched Dimension 20 a fair amount. How much prep do people like do you just got like a list of things you're going to say? Is it all? Are you scripting it out?
You know, there was this really funny momentary TikTok controversy where people were talking about both Dimension 20 and Critical Role is being scripted, which I thought was really funny. Because in the words of Zach Oyama, one of our cast members, that's right. We script 20 hours of content and then we just nail it. Outlines where you like maybe you got an idea.
I mean, I think that anybody who plays Dungeons and Dragons maybe sits around and I look at the ceiling thinking of a monologue they might go on as their character. I'll be honest and say that for Buckster Dollar Sign Boyd in Myson Murder, I had a list of cowboyisms pulled up in case I needed to use them. Like I had a there's this wonderful quote, never grapple with a pig. You'll both get dirty, but the pig likes it.
Yeah. And I wrote that down in advance this season. I was like, I would love to use that somewhere. It wasn't until like a final scene.
I said I found the opportunity for it. Wow, wow, wow, that's great. That's great. I have a version of that saying that I came up with because of my job, which is that it's not fun at all.
It's just, I think, true. So you can't argue with a professional arguer without becoming a professional arguer. And being a professional arguer is like the worst job. Ooh, cold.
You've got some great quotes coming out of that. Yeah, I'm full of yours. Yeah, I think that one was in the first book. And but I realized it, after I got into an argument with a professional arguer, whose job was to get into arguments so that he could make content around the arguments.
And getting sucked into that was so easy. Because like he knows exactly what I'm doing. Still for sure. I think I see that on social media sometimes.
I see people who sort of in an effort to create content, they are deliberately fanning the flames of eat a discourse in what I realized is that by engaging with them, I'm just creating content for them. Yes. Yeah. To realize that before it happens.
But once it happens, sometimes people are like, yes, I will also be a professional arguer. And I don't think that's the right decision to make. Yeah. Do you see an alternate universe for yourself in which you became more of an arguer?
Do you think there's a world in which? Yeah, there's a piece of me that likes it. But it's not, I don't know. Because critical thinking, I'm mentally set up for it.
Yeah. It's stressful for sure, for sure. And I see a lot of people who have my job sort of like do do science communication. They like sign up to debate things in halls.
And I'm like, yes. Blah. No, never. You already do something that on the internet can be considered a high wire act, which is you make points.
Like you make points. Yeah, make points is tricky. Yeah. And sometimes that's the space I occupy that I can see myself getting more into that business.
Yeah. But I have realized, and I don't know if it's like age or my family. Yeah. I realized that I do not want to be going deep on that.
And usually I will make a point of one or two things will happen. I will either never touch it again or I will realize that there was something bad about the point now. Yeah. I have a friend who who deletes tweets liberally.
Yeah. Often I'll see a tweet and then it will be gone within two minutes to look at his Twitter time. I have a brother like that. Yeah.
Yeah. And I honestly, I think that's correct. Yeah. That is the correct thing.
I think someone needs to do forever. We're not Benjamin Franklin. No, there are going to be aphorisms. These are tweets.
Yeah. If Benjamin Franklin had an edit button, he would have used it all the time. So long. Harder.
When Montana, we just say see you later, mostly. See you later. Yeah. Yeah.
That's pretty much it. Yeah. In a wild crocodile. Thanks.
Tata for now. We say Tata for now. No. Tata.
It gets fantastic. And I believe the Brits also say tah. Tah. Yeah, they do say tah.
I've experienced I've been tahd. Love the tah. Yeah. It's so efficient.
Which reminds me actually that this podcast is brought to you by being tahd. Being tahd. That's how you know that you're in the great country of the United Kingdom or whatever it is. And this episode is also brought to you by gentle rain sounds.
That will lure the entire lane you're in to sleep. This podcast is also brought to you by the Taylor Swift DMV. It's a special DMV just for Taylor Swift. Very little.
Very little is known about it. But if your friends occasionally, you can get an appointment. This episode is also brought to you by a cat singleberry. A cat singleberry.
Remove at your own risk. Indeed. We also have a project for awesome message. This is from Julie to Simon.
Simon, happy 14th birthday. I love that you love Hank and John reading rock climbing, adventuring and traveling the world. You're pretty amazing. I'm not into high school and into the person you were becoming.
Don't forget to be awesome. And if you ever do forget, I'll be here to remind you just how awesome you are. Now go charizard this mofo. Love anti-julie.
That's cute. I love the book about rapids right at the end there. Yeah. That's a whole joke.
Well, still got me. This episode of your Hank and John is brought to you by Shopify. There are a lot of things that stand between I have an idea and this is an idea that actually exists in the world and people are buying things from me. And that is what Shopify makes easier.
When you start with Shopify, the tools, to design and launch and take payments. They're all there from day one. And then you're going to be able to build a whole machine before you can start building the business. And this is important because you also have to look good and with Shopify's templates, you can get a site set up really quick that looks credible and professional without needing to code or duct tape a bunch of different tools together.
And when things look real, that works on my brain to be like, I'm doing a real thing. It also works on other people's brains to be like, this is legitimate. Shopify also has one of the best checkout systems on the internet. It's built to help customers finish the purchase effectively and efficiently without a bunch of roadblocks.
Returning customers can check out with a single click. That means less friction and fewer abandoned carts and a smoother experience for everybody. That stuff gives you confidence early on and it gives other people confidence in what you're doing. You're not wondering whether the payment system is going to work.
You're not wondering whether customers can get through the process. Shopify handles that foundation so you can focus on the thing that you're actually trying to do. It's really kind of amazing to me that Shopify is a tool that works from the first day your store launches when you're just starting to get customers all the way up to being the size of good.store or dftv.com or being the size of like Mattel and Gymshark. When you build a Shopify, you're building with tools that already work at every scale.
All you need is the idea, Shopify handles the rest. You can start your free trial at Shopify.com. Start your free trial at Shopify.com. Start your free trial at Shopify.com.
Shopify.com. With new subscription only, while supplies last until September 27th, 2026. See you website for more details. Thanks for watching.
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Head to factormeals.com slash deer hank 50 off and use the code deerhank50off to get 50% off and free daily greens per box. With new subscription only, wild supplies last until September 27th, 2026. See you website for more details. This next question comes from Tyler who asks, deerhank at Sam.
In what year do you think the first murder in space will be done? Wow. That's great. All the best, Tyler.
When space murder going to start? This is the black mirror portion of the podcast. Yeah, I feel like there's not been space murder so far. I think they couldn't have covered that up.
I don't know. I don't know Hank. Very convenient spot to put the body. Yeah, but people notice if it doesn't come back, right?
I think what you're saying is people notice if people in space go missing. Yeah, you're probably correct. You're probably low enough tally. Yeah.
Has anybody seen Jeff today? It's weird because it's not a big space station. Yeah, it's really just four rooms and I feel like I would have seen him. And his role was pivotal on board the spaceship.
Yeah, he didn't necessarily. Everyone's is. His day is tightly scheduled by a large team of professionals. It's not as if we've got a lot of understudies up here.
Do you think you slept in? I'm going to say that if a murder is going to happen in space, it's going to be on board a generation ship. Oh, yeah. I mean, if you have a generation ship, it will definitely be a murder.
I mean, explain what a generation ship is to people. Absolutely. So I believe a generation ship is a science fiction concept. The idea is that one day we will have to venture out from Earth to other planets.
And when we do, it will take us so long to get there that an entire generation will be born and die on board a ship, at least one, if not several. And that just feels like a recipe for resentment to me. Yeah, well, that's that that's so you can make that decision for yourself, but you can't really make it for your grandkids. And they're like, I would have rather lived on a planet, not in this box.
For sure. I would rather that my entire existence wasn't merely about the proliferation of my species. Right. Like you can live your whole life on the ship.
Like you might not be the one to arrive or the one to leave. Right. That's the bummer. That's a big bummer.
And you know, yeah. I also think anytime you put a bunch of, like if you're putting up, even, I don't know, a hundred people on a ship for the rest of their lives, you know, there's going to be some bad vibes between some of them. Yeah. What we're talking about here is bad vibes.
I'm actually writing a book right now about the first space murder. This is weird that you asked this question. No kidding. Are you really?
Yeah. Yeah, and there are some novel ground. There are novels around. Ah, it is novel ground.
But there are, there have been books about the first space murders before. Is this, are you actually writing this book? Or is that joke? No, you're actually writing it.
Yeah. I'm like, you know, 15,000 words in the murder has occurred the first murder. Is it called a beautiful issue space murder? No.
I don't have any. Well, I do have absolutely remarkable space murder. I have a work in progress name that I'm not sharing. I like it though.
I'm sure my editor will make me change it, but it's great. Are the words space or murder in the time? No. It's like a missed opportunity.
It's true. I should put space murder. It's called space murder. I feel like that would put an idea in your head that is not really what the book is about, which is mostly it is about a bunch of people who are not from the space station being like, holy s***, these people are weird.
Yeah, that's like the detective who gets hauled up from Earth to solve this space murder being like, you guys got it. Touch grass. Yeah, for sure. Solving a space murder also feels to me like a really convenient ground for a detective.
Yeah. It's like Orient Express vibe. Oh, yeah. I mean, talk about like a bottle episode of something, you know, it's like, yeah.
Yeah. Yeah, this is actually a terrific pitch for a television show. They should do a sort of like a NCIS or a CI or SVU or one of those other acronyms. The S and CIS actually stands for space.
And so does the C, S and CSI. And SVU also space space that comes to you. I mean, it could and therein lies the pitch. I think I'm talking myself into it.
Well, you know what, this is my right. I'll write the book and then you can option it. Perfect. I'm going to be done with it in like three or four years.
Hanks space murder H SM. Good thing that my initials aren't BD. That would be fun though. Yeah.
I thought about having my an absolute remarkable thing. The people who like that book a lot. They created a discord called fans of an absolute remarkable thing and then it's called fart. Oh, that's great.
Yeah. That's really great. It's almost doing just for the acronym. They know the path to my heart for sure.
Yeah. Sometimes when you have the opportunity to get a good acronym, it just helps tie a bow on something that you otherwise wouldn't do. And then you're like, well, the acronyms do come out now or you could be like everyone in science and just make up an amazing acronym through just truly just will and nothing else. Yes.
Yes. For sure. I don't use chat GPT for that much. Whenever I've given it a creative assignment, I've been terribly disappointed.
But one thing it's very good at is creating acronyms. Oh, you know, give it a give it the acronym you want in a topic. Yeah. And it'll it'll just go ham.
Bam. Now we don't need will anymore. That's right. Chat GPT's name.
This is the name is William. That's right. I have a question I want to ask you specifically. I can't believe that Bex gets to ask you this question specifically as a game show master.
This says the show Taskmaster. It's a different show, but you are also a game master has been the most reliable source of joy in my life since I discovered it about a year ago. It is so good. I am a fan of it.
The best. It's so good. Since you're a fan, Hank, I'm hoping that you can help me plan a task master themed party for my 30th birthday. I have so many questions.
Should I be Greg? Should I be Alex? Would I have more fun if I get to compete? I have 10 minutes.
You have 10 minutes. Your time starts now. Simply the Bex. Oh, Bex.
Oh, Bex. One more question. Bex. The place I'm starting is the games that happen at the end when they're all in the same room together on stage.
Sure. Those are more things that you can do. But before we start this, we should say should Bex be Alex or Greg? You know, that's a really interesting question.
It's a really interesting question. I think that obviously Greg has more of the master of ceremony. That looks like the more fun job. Alex's job is almost like admin.
That's how it casts. All the work. It's all the work. It is, by the way, I want to start by saying I'm the biggest task master fan.
I absolutely love the show. I started watching it when game changer fans were like, you should watch this other cousin show of yours. And started watching it out of a sense of, I want to make sure I'm not ripping anyone off, incidentally, and have now avoided certain game changer ideas because they were too similar to task master ideas. It's funny because the task master intro, which is Greg Davis at a typewriter, typing tasks, but he doesn't actually write the show.
He doesn't do that. He doesn't do that. Yeah, that's the best gig. That's the best gig.
And then it sounds like back that you want to do some work here though, but it could be that you could just pretend like Greg does the work because that's clearly what the show is doing because the show is pretending he does the work and do the work and then still be the task master. I think you want to be the task master of your own birthday party. I think so too. I think you know, you probably want an amalgam role that sort of parts, you know, host and task master or Greg and Alex.
Yeah. And if you can dress a small dog like Alex, that would be great. It's perfect. I mean, this is speaking of someone who is hosting great.
It gets great pleasure out of hosting and providing experiences for people that I think that is an even greater pleasure than playing the game because to play the game is to be a mortal, but to run it is to play God. And that's what you want on your birthday. Who doesn't want to be gone on their birthday? Now the task master does have a little book that they published.
So you can just like get a book and look at a bunch of tasks that they have. They have there that I think are things that they haven't done on the show. There's a book. There's a board game.
There's a board game. I think that also looking at those final tasks where the people are all in the same, same because then you get to do like five people against against themselves and then like you can rotate people in and out of games and that way not everybody's like doing it all at the same time. But it might be good to have like one thing where everybody has to like go do a task at the same time. We have to figure out something everybody can all do.
It might be something like the first person to bring a paper clip or something. Sure. Sure. You'd also set up a task in the other room and then everybody like take turns going and doing it.
Yeah. And then come back and shoot results. That's a good idea. I love it.
And I wish that I had time ever to do fun things like that. I mean, games are great. And games are so good. I do that.
You know, it's kind of sad in a way that we've lost the parlor game as much in in what's what's that? What do you mean by that? So that like we have there's a lot of board games out there. And if you're a board game nerd, you play them and you love them.
The parlor game was, you know, originally sort of before the board game era. I think it dates back. You know, centuries. But I believe the term parlor game was coined.
Maybe even in the Victorian era. Okay. The one I'm thinking of is scissors, which is a game where a pair of scissors is passed around a circle and the host will tell you if you're right or wrong, depending on if your scissors are open or closed and it's a puzzle that the group has to solve. In other words, what is correct or incorrect about holding this pair of scissors, certainly?
And spoiler alert, it's that if your legs are crossed and the scissors are open, you are correct. They are uncrossed. You are correct. Cool.
And that's great. Or mafia, classic parlor game, which is now been spun out into werewolves and all these other versions of which are games. Now reality show, by the way, the traders on peacock is essentially mafia blown up and the big mansion. It's fantastic.
But what's the great about parlor games is they don't require much of anything, you know, a pair of scissors from a desk drawer or nothing. I mean, mafia requires nothing. Yeah. Yeah.