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Tickets go on sale to the general public June 30th at somethingworthknowing.com. So come build a better world with us on September 16th and experience something worth knowing you can get your ticket at Complexly.info slash something. Oh and welcome to Dear Hank and John. Nor does I prefer to think of it Dear John and Hank.
It's a podcast where two brothers and two questions give you the advice and bring you all the weeks from both Mars and AFC Wimbledon John. Do you know why hamburger buns never get along? Why is that? They've always got beef between them.
Or ground chicken. That's well that's true. Just some kind of meat. Why do we say we have beef and not just we have meat?
We have meat. I got meat with that guy. Big meat. Big meat.
In the future when we don't have beef anymore, what are we gonna have? We're just gonna have mushrooms between us. Did you ever know who that you're gonna be? You always sing this song like if that sounds like 1987 and you sing it all the time.
I do sing it all the time. It's the song that's spent the most time in my head in my life by a very wide margin since I saw the movie Beaches when I was 10 or 11 years old. I have just gone from being annoyed at you to so sorry for you. It comes into my head many times a day every day for the last 30 years.
I know it's not a good song. It's not the song so much. It's the same one. Here's my case for it.
Here's my case for it. The song is... Did you ever know that you're my hero? You're everything I wish I could be.
I could fly higher than an eagle because you were the wind beneath my wings. I won't do you the dishonor of singing the entire chorus. I also don't know any of the verses so I only know the chorus. That's all I can sing.
Maybe you need to learn more. No, I don't think that's the solution. Here's my case for the song. The song is ultimately about understanding that you're...
That however, whatever you accomplish in life is based on the contributions of others and that everything that's done is done in collaboration and the only way to make anything is together. That is actually a nice daily reminder. I just wish it didn't come in the form of did you ever know that you're my hero. Is it from the movie Bodyguard or is that different?
The movie Beaches. Beaches with Bette Midler. Yeah. Oh man.
This is okay. What's the song that's in your head most often? Oh, it is a constantly rotating playlist. I never have a song for more than a day.
No way, really? Because my best friend Chris grew up really Baptist and he... You know, they're growing up Baptist and then they're growing up really Baptist. Yeah, I know.
He grew up really Baptist. And it's my God is an awesome God and I'm kissing that. He'll build that out like he'll be keeping the chickens or something. It'll just get into his heart.
Oh man. That's... I feel so grateful. Whenever I'm complaining about something about work, Chris will say Philippians 413, I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.
It's not helpful, Chris. Doesn't get anywhere I need to be. It might be working for you. It's not working for me.
You are not the Wind Beneath My Wings right now. Thank you. You're not being the Wind Beneath My Wings and that's what I need is I need a little bit of wind so I can sort like an eagle. But only if you would be the Wind Beneath My Wings and not give me a Bible quote right now.
Actually, I'm good with the Bible quote but just don't give me the same dang one every time. MotivationalBiblequotes.com. Very it up. Give me one of those like, give me something from the book of Job.
Let's talk about suffering. Meet me where I'm at. This first question, Hank comes from Nat. He writes, Dear John and Hank in that Swiftacular episode, which is the episode that we devoted entirely to Taylor Swift.
John said, I don't like it when people don't like me, which is really resonated with me because I have the same issue and feel like it really holds me back sometimes. You and me both that. I've been in therapy for years but this is a thing that has never really stopped being true for me, perhaps Nat because you're trying to make your therapist like you. Do you all have any tips on how you can get past this?
How can I stop caring whether people like me or at least stop letting the fact that I care hold me back? Thank you all for both you do like the best, Nat. Nat, you have asked the wrong two people how to not care about being liked. I feel like don't therapists know that everyone walks into the office and is like, bah, bah, bah, bah, let me show you how cool I am.
Hey, the best part of your week has arrived is me with my stand-up comedy show, asking one hour. You're gonna laugh, you're gonna cry, you're gonna feel everything. I have a ball change, a ball change, a little dance. I do think that like sometimes I think has good.store raised $7.5 million for charity in the last three years because we love the Newman Zone model and believe in it and believe that like we have to be really careful and thoughtful about how community resources are distributed in commercial enterprises or is it only because we want to be liked?
You can't put that out of the podcast, it's too real. I can put it in the podcast, tune it, keep it in. Oh no. Let's get real Hank, let's get real.
Well, here's the thing, everybody wants to be liked. You should harness that desire to be liked for good. That's what I think. I guess my satiable need to be liked for good.
Yeah, I read about this black hole, the largest black hole ever discovered. It's like eating the equivalent of a sun every day. Yeah, yeah. And I was reading about this black hole and I was thinking I too hunger for more.
Yeah, I could eat a star. I could eat a star as worth of Twitter likes. You can't, you could not give me enough of that food. I'll eat it.
I'll eat it until I feel horribly sick. And I'm like, this is making my life so much worse. And everyone around me is like, this is making your life so much worse. And then I'll be like, can I have another please?
I think all the time about when I first got TikTok and I was first, like had some TikToks going viral and I was, it was like Saturday morning and Kevin and I went to the farmer's market with Orin. We did farmer's market stuff and then we went and got sandwiches and we sat at a little spot that's like not, it's like part of a bank, but it's nice. It's like a nice little area by the bank. But nobody ever goes there and we're like hanging out there.
That's where we have breakfast every morning. We were eating our sandwiches with Orin and we are like, we are bikes and I was just looking at how fast new people were following me on TikTok. Yes, yes, and I was like, every time I refresh, it's like 10 more every second. It's like 10 more.
I'm a black hole of want. I can't. And you're there. It's just keeps going in forever.
You're there with the people you love most in the world. The people you have hitched your wagon to for the remainder of your natural life. And you are looking at how many new strangers are following you on TikTok and the glee is overwhelming. It's a I've said it a billion times, but it is true for me.
It is a hard drug. I have done soft drugs and that is a hard drug. So Nat, what you need to do is get you put on TikTok, fill it up some other way and then go into therapy and be like, I've had my I've had my fill. I don't want anymore.
See the darkness that's in me. Maybe the podcast. But the problem that is that if you get that, you will still want more. You will be that black hole.
Yeah, there is a way that swells as a son and the son is not enough. So in the end, unfortunately, we have to find meaning and connection within our real life relationships, which are hard to build and complicated and require lots of thought and care less about what strangers think about us than what those who are close to us think about us. And this is the thing that I think that, of course, of course, we care what other people think about us. Of course, we want people to like us.
We should want people to like us. We should want the people that we like to like us. Yeah. And we should do things to help them know that we care about them and that we want to do things for them and that we want to make them happy and that will make them like us.
And maybe that's maybe we're doing it to be liked and maybe we're doing it because it feels good to do things for people. Maybe it's for both reasons. I think that's why we're here. Yeah.
That's why we're here. We're here to love and be loved and know and be known. And so I don't have an issue with that. I have an issue with the like commercialization of it and my own participation in the commercialization and superficialization of it.
Right. And I'm not your therapist, obviously. But hopefully, your therapist isn't telling you that it's not okay to want to be liked. It's okay to want to be liked.
That's not something you need to stop. But like, there is, of course, a limit to that. And you were trying to be liked by people who don't like you and who you don't like and you're trying to make everyone like you. Then yeah, that is a problem.
But it's also perfectly understandable. It's the most natural thing in the world. We are social species that are we from the ground up. We succeeded because we bonded.
We succeeded because we worked through problems together. That's like the thing that humans do. And a big part of that is whatever the sort of liking is, the system through which we sort of grant each other social appreciation. And you're a part of that.
But like, for me, it is really true that it matters much more to me whether Catherine likes me and whether John likes me and other people who I like, who I really know and who really know me. And those are the more peripheral relationships or one-sided relationships like Internet stuff. I mean, I agree with you in the abstract. But when Mr.
Poopy Peanut on TikTok says that John Green is a typical moderate who's just trying to appease everyone and not offend anybody, I take that really personally. Because he knows the secret truth about me, which is that I'm a terrible person and the people who love me and who know me the best don't know that secret truth because they're blinded by their affection for me. And so I'm always drawn to the people who hate me because there's a part of me that thinks, well, that's the truth. That's who I really am and they know.
But I can say to Catherine, like, I'm a good person, right? And she's in like the look on her face of like complete consternation to being like, why are we doing this? Right? That's the dumbest of course, of course, everything I've ever seen you do.
Not everything. Everything she's ever seen me do. I mean, you're an okay person. Let's not blow it out of proportion.
That's moving on to the next question. Yeah. Well, it's just me choose my wife. So she's going to be biased.
But like, I do believe her. You know, that's my point. I believe her. Okay.
Good. I don't even know who says that I'm a good person. But move on. This is a question comes from Brie who asks, hi guys, why does having a hot shower set off my smoke detector?
What is it detecting? Is it the heat, the opacity of the air? There has to be a more effective way to detect fire star smoke, right? Love the pod at DFT Brie.
Well done. Good. Good. What do you think, John?
My suspicion would be that there's something wrong with Brie's smoke detector because my shower doesn't set off the smoke detector. But then my second suspicion would be that steam is pretty similar to smoke and maybe all it detects is the amount of business in the air. Yeah. It's it's it's it's it does detect the amount of business in the air, basically.
Yeah. It's a business detector. And so like it's not really a smoke detector. It's a it's it's there's stuff in the air detector.
Yeah. Basically, there's like a there's like a literal tiny bit of radioactive material that is emitting a tiny bit of radiation and like an actual particle, like I don't know what kind of particle it is. But it's big enough that it gets stopped. It can get stopped by it like if there's something in the air blocking it.
And so if a thing blocks it, then there there will not they will not receive it and it'll be like, I didn't receive a message. If enough of the radiation gets blocked, then the smoke detector goes off. My guess is that there's like that you should probably replace your smoke detector because smoke particles are much more opaque than steam particles. And so or tiny, this are not steam particles.
They're tiny droplets of water in the air. And so it shouldn't make your smoke detector go off. So you should probably replace your smoke detector. There might be like, it's not emitting like it's got something else clouding it, some gunk got on it or something like that.
And you can just go to one and probably it will stop. Because that sounds extremely annoying. That does sound annoying. Rachel asks, I have a tuberculosis-related question.
Oh, great. She writes, Dear Hank and John, mostly John, please help explain what was going on my freshman year of high school, 2006 or 2007. There was like a tuberculosis outbreak question mark. The entire school had to get tested with some arm prick question mark.
I don't know. This was like 20 years ago. My question is, why would a 2000s Dallas suburb high school be required to screen thousands of students for tuberculosis? Best wishes, Rachel.
Oh, wow. This would in a normal university a me question, but I don't know. But now it's a you question. Welcome to being a science guy, John.
This is definitely a me question. A science guy with a very limited ability to go relatively deep. But yeah, so this is a me question. And what happened to you is really interesting.
And it's interesting because of all the places and times and ways it hasn't happened. So what happened to you, Rachel, is first off, lots of people have tuberculosis between a quarter and a third of all humans alive right now have been infected with tuberculosis. And so it's not uncommon. What almost certainly happened is that somebody tested positive for active tuberculosis.
Like somebody got sick and tested positive. Their case was almost certainly caught very early, as they almost always are in the United States. And you say you live in the Dallas suburbs. And so the case was caught early.
It was treated. And then everyone around that person, including apparently your entire school, usually it would just be like close contacts. But here in the United States, we tend to go pretty hard when there's a case of active tuberculosis in a school or whatever. And there's a lot of cases of active tuberculosis in the US still like 500 people or so a year dive TV in the US.
But what happened is that they gave you the skin prick test. The skin prick test is really fascinating. It's really old. It's in fact, it was invented on some level by the guy who first established that tuberculosis was caused by a bacteria, Dr.
Robert Koch. And basically they prick your skin and see if you have a reaction to the little skin prick. And if you do, that means that you've been exposed to tuberculosis in the past. Now, in most of the world, they can't do this test or in much of the world where TB is really endemic, they can't do this test.
Because if you get the vaccine for tuberculosis, which is called BCG, you will always test positive with the skin test, or at least like there's a very high likelihood of there being false positives, because you got the vaccine. And so you were kind of exposed to something adjacent to tuberculosis when you were a baby. And so the skin prick test is of limited utility in places where TB is really endemic. But in places like the United States, it's still relatively useful.
In fact, the reason, Rachel, that you didn't get vaccinated for tuberculosis when you were a baby is so that that skin test would work. Like we did a cost-benefit analysis and we found that the vaccine isn't very good. It's very effective in preventing severe illness and death in young children, but then in adolescents and adults, it's either not effective at all or very limited in its effectiveness. And so we did a cost-benefit analysis that the benefit of having the skin test work is better than the benefits that would come from vaccinating everyone.
Now, there are other reasons why we don't vaccinate everyone. The benefits are pretty low because the rates of TB in the US are very low, et cetera. But that is one of the reasons, is so that we can have this skin test and it worked. So they did a little skin test on you.
You didn't have TB. You still probably don't have TB. And now you're fine. And the school did not have a tuberculosis outbreak, which is great.
That's great. I had to do a TB test when I started taking a medicine once because... Oh, yeah. ...
your immune system was less good and they don't like to give the medicine. If you might have TB suddenly happened to you. Did they do the skin test or did they do what they do? They did a blood test, I think.
Yeah, I think they probably did a gene expert test, actually. Oh! You benefited from the amazing gene expert test, if only it were affordable in the places where it was most needed. Yeah, no.
I mean, I didn't have tuberculosis and there was a very low chance I would have. Yep. But you still get the access to that test that people in countries like Sierra Leone and Pakistan really struggle to get access to. John, this next question comes from Jenny who asks, dear green brothers, should I wash my eyes?
Jenny, but that's not my phone number. P.S. Apologies to John if they gives you one other thing to worry about. You think you should wash your eyes?
No way. No way you should wash your eyes. Two things you can wash. You don't wash your eyes and you don't wash way down deep in your ears.
Yeah, you don't want to... Yeah, you don't need to get anything in there. Leave that alone. Yeah, it's self-cleaning.
That's what I... Despite what an avalanche of TikTok ads has told me. Good God. So many TikTok ads about removing earwax with an earwax camera or other ways.
And there is something about humans where we desperately want to remove our earwax. Yes. And of course, earwax can get impacted, but the number one way gets impacted is by trying to clean out the earwax. Yes.
And the number one way that you rupture your drum is by trying to clean out the earwax yourself. Right. You know, one thing about me is that after about nine o'clock at night when I get tired and my defenses are down and my ability to like withstand the weight of the world is dramatically decreased, I start to watch earwax removal videos. I start to watch Durham Hearing YouTube channel, earwax removal videos, and the title will be something like earwax hard as ice.
And then I'm like, I mean, I need to see this earwax as as ice. Yeah, cut glass with that earwax. Take it out and make it into a diamond and make it into an engagement ring. Yes, show me.
Yeah, make it into a ring. It's gonna be beautiful. It's gonna be the yellowest diamond. It's maybe brown even.
Well, streaks of orange too. It streaks of beautiful beautiful diamond streaks of orange. It's a giant hair isn't it? It'd be great.
It's such a unique dead skin. It's such a unique engagement ring you have. Oh, yeah. No, it's my it's my fiance's earwax turned into a dog.
The video got so many likes. Fun. We couldn't not. We couldn't not.
Oh, man. Oh, God. It's also a watch. We've been streaming.
Oh, hoof trimming is great. Love it. Yeah. And there's also a lot of like problems that those hosts have.
Oh, yeah, no, it's hard out there for a cow. Yeah, living in a in an environment with a lot of rocks and nails. Yeah, gosh, no rocks are nails allowed in the cow area. No, Nate's got it.
Nate, the hoof guys really are the hoof GP. They really got to clean out those those cavities and get those rocks out and then they've got to see the silic acid. Yeah, there's just there's a lot involved. Yeah.
I feel like working really hard not to correct you on the compound use, but that's fine. Well, how do you know? Go ahead and say it. It's salicylic.
That's what I said. I said salicylic. Absolutely. Tuna replay.
Sea to silic acid and yeah. Cool. That's the same word. Yep.
Salicylic. Just I've said it the same way three times now. Actually, sea to silic acid is a hoof specific antibiotic compound tank. Oh, is it?
Uh huh. Yeah. Uh huh. Google it.
I can't. But wait, wait five minutes because I'm still creating the Wikipedia. Hold on. All right.
Don't watch your eyes. It's okay. Everything's fine. Don't watch your eyes, especially not with salicylic acid, which sounds like it will burn.
There's a lot of acid for that matter. I just don't think that's a thing. Again, Google it in five minutes. The sea of salicylic acid is a thing.
That's asking. Okay. Okay. Maybe that's what I'm thinking of.
I think that's what I'm thinking of. I think that's what I'm thinking of. I think that's what I'm thinking of. John, this next question comes.
I need to get my science on it comes from Eric who asks, hi Hank, maybe John, if you have a spacecraft with a solar sail, can you tack against the solar wind? Like can I use the sun's photons to go straight toward the sun itself? But my sailing question isn't too esoteric. Eric, nice.
I didn't see that coming, Eric. So is there a way that you can generally with a solar sail, you're kind of using what I think of as the solar winds to go away from the sun? Yeah, you want to get hit by the photons towards Mars. But can you tack against it?
Yeah. Well, I mean, the weird thing is that you can tack against the wind. So if the wind is going directly at you, you can travel in the direction of the wind, which boggles the mind. But this is actually a great example of how this is possible because you cannot do it with a solar sail.
You can only tack against the wind because the boat is pushing against the water. And so the wind is hitting you. And then the shape of the boat allows the boat, like to, in its pressure against the water, to move upwards as that energy gets transferred to the boat. And it's like basically the wind is bouncing off.
And then the pressure of the boat on the water is what, as far as I understand this, it allows it to go toward the wind. But with the solar sail, there is no water for the boat to be in. There's nothing to push against. It's just space.
So you cannot go into the sun with a solar sail. The fact that space is made primarily out of empty space, is a real mortise mind-blower for me. I got what kind of does it for me is that space both is and isn't something? Yeah, it's not really anything.
I mean, it's not made out of anything. It's not made out of anything, but it is something. Yeah. As E.
Cummings beautifully wrote, ours is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart of love. I wonder if he wrote that before we discovered dark energy, which is well, it's actually keeping the stars apart. I just looked into that very question with Astrophysicist Dr. Katie Mack.
And it turns out that E. Cummings was probably not aware of dark energy when he wrote that book. I want to get my science on Hank and not just my tubercular science on, not just my potato science on, but also my science science from Anna. We've got a question who writes, Dear John and Hank, please don't ask me how we got to this question.
But my cousin and I were talking and this came up with the amount of people who've lived and died on our little planet has an ocean's worth of pea, Ben Peed. My cousin thinks there has been enough Peed to make two Earth's worth of oceans, but I'm unsure yours, Anna or Yuleana. Okay. Okay.
Hank. Yeah. The average person Peed surprised me 1.5 liters per day. That's not an unsubstantial amount.
I feel like yesterday I pee that much just in one P. It was a wild. Yeah. Sometimes you have that.
Sometimes you have that. Sometimes you have this ache. Sometimes I can't go, I can't go. I got to type.
I got to keep typing. Well, no, you just do a phone call. And somebody's like, are you peeing and you're like, no, I'm out of waterfall. Of course.
I need waterfall. Yeah. It's just a trickle. But it actually used to be more when I was younger.
This waterfall used to be bigger when I was a kid. I don't know. This waterfall starts to be like the waterfall should be bigger. But no, it's weird.
Weird. It works. Anyway, don't worry about me. I'm fine.
I've been tested. Anyway, 1.5 liters per day. Okay. The average person, and this is a very sad fact.
Yeah. Has lived to be about 18 years old. Okay. Okay.
Now, a lot of the people who lived to be more than 18 years old lived to be a lot more than 18 years old. So let's move them like median age up to, I did it up to 20 just because it's a round number. Sure. It's been about 120 billion people who lived.
Okay. Now you got to make room for the fact that babies, P less than adult, whatever, whatever, right? Yeah, they'll average out. Yeah.
This is order. We're not even going to get to an order of attitude the size of a single ocean, but keep going. There's a lot of rounding involved. But according to my math, we have peed about two Earth's worth of oceans.
Like, I know where your cousin, no, they're their number, but that seems to be right. No way. No way. I was stunned.
I was astonished. I would have bet a million dollars that we have not peed. Now I have to do the math. So it's 1.5 liters?
Yep. Times 20 times 120 billion. What? One point five liters per day.
Oh, right. 1.5 liters times 365 times 20 times 120 billion. And it turns out that there's only like a few hundred trillion liters of water in an ocean. What have we peed out a whole ocean?
I know. Not only that, Hank, but get this, a leader is actually a measure of volume, not a measure of weight. So now that's a deep cut. That's a flashback.
That is true. I feel. I feel. So when people are like, the ocean is made out of a.
The ocean is made out of a. Not just P human P, like the ocean is made out of our P. Do the math and come back to me when you're done because I think you'll reach the same conclusion I reached. I think there's more leaders than you're thinking.
Where did you get your leader's number for the leaders in the ocean? Yeah. Google? Where do you think I got it?
Do you think I went to the Atlantic Ocean and started pulling out it leader by leader? You think I drove to Florida with a two liter bottle of Mountain Dew pour that baby out and started just like being like two, four, six, eight, 10. What's your number? How many leaders did you get?
What are we? What did we work toward here? How many leaders in the ocean? 1.335, six trillion leaders are in all the oceans combined.
What's that in scientific notation? Sex, trillion, frick me. Sex, trillion in scientific notation. It's a thousand.
It's 10 to the 21st. I got 10 to the 15th for them. That's what I got. Okay.
That's what I got to. So it's but but but but that's all the oceans. I'm saying that we've one single ocean. We've peed more than one single ocean.
There's no way you could divide the earth up into ocean small enough. What's that? How many leaders are in the Arctic Ocean, the smallest ocean? Yeah, 10 to the 15th about is my guess.
Was your hope? That's my hope. Yeah, isn't that how science works? You have a hope and then you try to make the data fit the hope.
I think I'm about to prove you wrong. But I love that I believe you for a second. I was so close. I mean, what's the difference between 10 to the 15th and 10 to the 21st?
We will pee and the oceans, all the oceans worth of pee in the fullness of time. I mean, now I'm frustrated because it's close. I told you, but I was wrong, but I did tell you. I mean, I mean, it's close enough that if you fudge the number, if you like, if it turns out people pee a little bit more than we think they pee, then it could be.
Yeah. Because the Arctic Ocean is 1.9 times 10 to the 15th leaders, according to some very rudimentary. And this is 1.34 times 10 to the 15th. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I did this wrong.
Oh, okay. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
I just I did some math wrong, John. It is in fact, we have peed much less than the Arctic Ocean and the history of humans. Really? Yeah, I'm sorry.
We have to be around for at least we're more than halfway there. We could do it, but we don't have to be around for millions of years. No, I don't agree. We're more than halfway there.
No, I got one way times 10 to the 19th. Yeah, but we're ours is 1.3 times 10 to the 15th. We're already at 10 to the 15th. We only have four more to go.
How can I say we're not even halfway there? We're at 15 and we only need to get to 19. I'm pretty sure you're joking, but I understand that actually. I understand the confusion of that.
That is a joke. But the reason it's a joke is because every time you add a zero, you're actually adding 10x. Yes, it's not. Yes, it's a mess.
We have not peed. We have not peed enough to fill an ocean in order to pee enough to fill an ocean. We would need for Elon Musk's great dreams of trillions of future people to come true. And none of them on Mars because that's not going to help us fill up an ocean of pee.
Do those people even count? They're not even earthlings. I feel like I guess the question is have people peed enough to fill up an ocean? Do the Martians do still count?
Right. Right. And also a Martian ocean? Yes.
Like if there were like one times 10 to the 13th leaders of water on Mars, we would call that an ocean. So John is right, everybody. We've got there. We have peed an ocean, a Martian ocean.
We've peed a Martian ocean. My point is that we've peed a tremendous amount of pee. Just way more pee than I expected. At least more than I expected, but less than an ocean, it turns out.
Wow. Good luck with that, Tuna. Next time don't let us do math live. Yeah, no joke.
Which reminds me that today's podcast is brought to you by 1.34 to the 15th leaders. 1.34 to the 15th leaders of pee. It is a lot. So much peep.
You could even call it pee-bee. That sounds like a joke that your son would make. And I say that respectfully, if he's a funny man. Today's podcast is also brought to you by the Opacity of the Air, the Opacity of the Air, fooling smoke alarms since they were invented.
And this podcast was brought to you by Earwax Diamonds, artificially created in a laboratory in northern Minnesota. Earwax Diamonds take your viral TikTok video and turn them into a treasure that you could cherish with your loved ones for generations. Now, hey, I have to tell you, when you were saying that, there was a little part of me that was like, wait, is that a good idea? Like, could we make that business work?
It's high margin. I don't know. Yeah, I guess I guess if the input is Earwax, which hopefully is free. Not at the scale.
We're going to have to do it, buddy. We're going to have to be higher in people left and right to share their Earwax with us. We're going to be we're going to be printing millions of these diamonds. I think they get that wax.
We've also got a project for us at Besserch from Gail Wootenburg and Alejandro Fried to Twyla Fried Wootenburg. We want to send a shout out to our daughter Twyla on her 19th birthday. Can there be a bigger fan of your show? Doubtful.
So if you ever need an intern, she's psyched. We love it for Twyla's 19th birthday. She has for nothing more than a donation to Partners in Health. So we went big and grabbed this opportunity to acknowledge her through Project for Awesome with a birthday message on your show.
Love you, Twyla. Thank you for being amazing. And thank you also to Gail and Alejandro for being amazing. This is legitimate.
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Hey before we get to the all important news for Mars and ABC Wimbledon I need to tell you something about Pope Urban the eighth. Okay. Pope Urban the eighth in the 17th century attempted to ban wait for it tuberculosis sneezing. Oh because it's the nose Jesus said it's not normal.
No, we're the pope's talk to he deemed it sexual. He thought it was it closely resembled sexual ecstasy, which I have to say has not been my experience. Liglan Grampi Timor as they say. That's what they say.
They describe sneezing as the big little death. Yes. Yes. If I can translate for you.
I thought it would be the very little death. That's what I was going for. But I was it was actually mostly related to the snorting of snuff of of tobacco which was brought over from the New World with with great excitement and enthusiasm. Okay.
And and and and the snuff combined with the sneezing just it just felt too too close to sin for Pope Urban the eighth. So he attempted to ban it in the 17th century. Right. And and I just wanted you to know that because we're American speaking podcast on the topic of sneezing not being normal.
But what what what what happened like when he got a cold? Yeah. Or just like a catwalked by. Sure.
Was he tried? He tried to hold it in he took a vow of sneezing celibacy. That sounds very snotty. For the deal, you know, for the sacrifice you make.
Um, then you I guess you just go to like Pope confession and be like I have to do some Hail Mary's because I didn't actually and etc. Yeah, I feel really bad. But I did do this thing. Um, you know who needs to go to confession?
AFC Wimbledon's attack. Oh, without all the alhamd as we just don't have an ability to score to score goals. We've really really struggled with the goal scoring. Most recently we lost one deal to Crawley town.
Um, we have a lot we haven't won a game since February 10 against Barrow. Um, and yeah, we've lost us some pretty bad teams. Atkinson Stanley, they're not that good. Who are they?
More come we tied them and then we lost to Crawley town who were kind of our cross town rivals. And I find their fans very annoying. No disrespect any Crawley fans listening just the ones who don't listen. I find very annoying.
And now we're, um, we're somehow, despite all of these setbacks, only one point off the last playoff spot. Um, unfortunately, we're also only two points off 17th place. Wow. That's how tight it is between seventh and 17th.
Seventh and 17th are currently separated by three points. Wow. And so there are basically 10 teams fighting for one playoff spot, which means according to my calculations, we have a 10% chance of making the playoffs, at which point we would have a 25% chance of being a league one third tier English soccer team. So I'm not good at math, but that, those aren't great odds.
No. Um, no, and I also think you may be overestimating them. Fair enough. Fair.
Great point. Um, if we snuck into the playoffs in seventh place, we would not actually have a 25% chance of making week one. We would have like a 10% chance. So we have a 10% chance of having a 10% chance.
Yep. That's the deal. But if we win one more game, we're safe from relegation for the last 13 games of the season and I for one, I'm just going to soak that up. I'm headed to England this weekend.
Hank to watch AFC Wimbledon take on the franchise, currently playing its trading Milton Keynes, a game that we always lose. And I do not expect to win, but I nonetheless hope that we can find a way to win. I actually had a dream a few nights ago that Johnny Jackson, AFC Wimbledon's manager asked me to give a team talk before the game against my team. So I went down and talked to the boys.
Oh boy. That sounds terrifying. All right. What's the news for Mars?
Well, NASA is looking maybe for you. They want some people to work on a simulated Mars mission in spring of 2025. So they do this thing where they get people together and they throw folks into a habitat on Earth and then leave them alone to figure it out for themselves to learn how human crewed missions might work, communications issues, like dealing with equipment failure, doing robotics, like you just basically pretend like you're on Mars. And they were looking for quote, healthy, motivated US citizens or permanent residents who are non-smokers who are 30 to 55 years old.
I am most of those things. Are you all of them? I guess you're not that healthy. I'm not that healthy.
I think it probably wouldn't count me right now. Proficient in English. And you should have a strong desire for unique rewarding adventures and interest in contributing to NASA's work to prepare for the first human journey to Mars. Do you have a good job?
Then you've got to live with seven strangers. You do. Yeah. It's like you back to college, but we're all grownups now and peers.
How long? How long? Two years? Oh, no, I don't think so.
Oh, okay. Okay. Because I could do it for like a week. Is it like is it more like a week or more like two years?
You think that it would say? Well, I guess that's also the truth of a mission to Mars. You know, a whole year, a full year, John. Wow.
A full year. Isn't that headline out of the body? Well, yeah. Well, I can't.
I'm out. I mean, I got a long time to take off. Yeah. Just quit your job and go live and fake Mars.
I mean, I guess I could write a novel, but my family would probably be pretty mad. Yeah. And I would honestly miss my family too much. I miss a little potato too much.