385: Duology

Hey, so something worth knowing is a benefit for the nonprofit organization that makes Crash Course and SciShow Complexly. It's September 16th, 2026 in Los Angeles, California at the Wilshire Ebell Theater. Please join us. It's going to be incredible.

Friends have complexity like Mark Rober, Katie Max, Simone Yetch, and more will share inspiring talks about what makes them hopeful and join Hank Green on stage for fun, interactive discussions. Complexly has been creating free educational content like SciShow and PBSEons and Crash Course in Bizarre Beasts for nearly 15 years and 6 billion views. But this year, we've become a 501c3 nonprofit and we're doing something worth knowing as an in-person event that benefits complexly and our impactful educational media. It's the first ever complexly in-person event and it's a fundraiser to support our mission of inspiring curiosity and lowering barriers to knowledge building because curiosity builds understanding and understanding builds a better world.

Tickets go on sale to the general public June 30th at somethingworthknowing.com. So come build a better world with us on September 16th and experience something worth knowing you can get your ticket at complexly.info slash something. Oh, and welcome to your hi-guend John. Where's I prefer to think of it here, John and Hank?

It's a podcast where two other things to your questions give you to be a vice and bring you all the weeks news from both Mars and AFC Wimbledon. You played Whirl today? I did wait Whirl and oh my god is there news from AFC Wimbledon. Oh sweet holy Jesus.

I know we gotta say at the end of the pod. Yes, I played Whirl today. The answer, I don't know, I found that it was not easy. Okay.

Oh. Easy as a four letter word. Yeah, it was a different word than easy. Yeah.

I also found that it was not difficult. Oh, I haven't actually done Whirl today. No, the joke there, Hank, is that difficult is also not a five letter word. I'm so good.

Thank you for noticing. They should really put me on the television to make dad jokes. Hey, listen, what? I can't wait till the end.

Oh, God. I see Whirl then beat the franchise and I was there a lot. Can't wait until the end. Oh, I can't.

We did it. We did it. We did it. It was amazing.

It was amazing. It was incredible. It was amazing. It was amazing.

It was the last second goal was the best one in my whole life. You're going to do it again at the end of the podcast afterwards. I have lots to say about it. We're going to talk about it.

It's going to be great. Okay. It's like, you know what it's like when a kid comes home from school and is really excited, but the other kid is already in the car and is like telling an ongoing story and you have to be like, I want to hear your story. But first, we have to do this other story, which in this case is the podcast.

So that's answer some questions from our listeners before we get to it. Actually, can I tell you a story about my son telling a story? Oh my God. Yes.

It was very cute. We were in the car and we were listening to a song and the guy was singing about Cassidy, this girl in Cassidy and Catherine was like, Cat City. And I was like, no, he's saying Cassidy and Lauren was like, Oh, and he was sad. And then I was like, but look, the internet is large and I have Spotify.

So I was like, Hey, his Siri, do you play Cat City? And it did. And it was great. It was a very high energy song that came out from that.

And then we got home after having listened to Cat City, or I believe the song that would be called Kitty City for several times. And Lauren came in and the cats greeted us at the door as they do. And Orrin sat down with the cats and he told them the story of how we discovered the song. That's so sweet.

It was very cute. But this isn't a cute podcast. I think this is a funny podcast about suffering. Yeah.

Yeah. Well, you know, we're all going to die. I know, but I've known the whole time and you just found out a year ago. It wasn't even a year ago.

You know, I know, I got two months until it was a year ago, you sent me an email that was like, How weird is it that I got cancer or text message? And I was like, I'm glad he said it because I think it every day. Yeah, like every day, I'll be like walking or doing something and I'll be like, Hey, cat cancer. Yeah.

Yeah. I'm working on a video right now that I'll probably be out with a time this episode because I'm working on a video about like the transition from treatment to not treatment anymore. And one thing that a lot of people say is they're like, you're going so hard during treatment, like you're doing really hard stuff and you're over and like you're doing stuff you don't want to do. You're like forcing your body to do and you're like, it's just like an exercise and tremendous willpower.

And then it's like, all right, go back to being normal and like have a normal life where you're not fighting for your life. And then people are like, and then you're just like, lay there and you're like, I have to go back to like normal and I'm like, yeah, this happened to me. Except instead, I was like, I should keep going the same level of heart. I know, I know.

And I feel like I tried to talk to you about that because you just like, it's almost like you came out of it wanting to go harder, not wanting to like ease up or make certain connections. I got used to going super hard. Maybe that makes sense. You know, and like, and like the transition to like going, I mean, I took a I was felt really like, but once I started feeling better, I just like, I don't know.

Yeah, there's a lot to it. There's a lot to it. And I think you're still unpacking it. I mean, it's important to remember that like, you're still in the first months of post-treatment.

Yeah. And maybe it feels like a long time. I think the reason it maybe feels like a long time is because it was so intense, you know, like the days moved so slowly when you were in treatment that now it's just it is just weird. It's profoundly weird.

And I don't blame you for any response that you have to it because I think they're all healthy and normal, you know, because like, how are you supposed to respond to that? Yeah, I like that on the one hand, I like that you've gone so hard because it's been great for me. I've been like, you know, people are like, Hey, can you help out with this? And I'm like, no, but Hank, for some reason wants to.

Yeah, I may have hit my I may have hit a cap. I know people have told me like they've been in conversations with you and you've been like, well, I have more bandwidth than I've ever had. And I'm like, I now have like three front burner projects. Yeah, I'm really excited about and I'm like, there aren't three front burners.

I don't know what kind of stuff you have, you know, you might have the front burners, but I do not. I have one front burner project. This big thing for tuberculosis and it makes me sick all the time. Like, I feel vaguely nauseated wherever I go.

So yeah, I don't know how you do it, but you know what else I don't know what the answer to any of these questions. The answer to any of these questions. Great transition. Francesca asks, Dear Greens, what's a good place to put stickers?

I never buy myself stickers because I don't know where to put them. Ideally, there will be somewhere that I could admire them and keep them from harm. So water bottles and stuff aren't an option. Sticker than stuck, Francesca.

They're not water bottles in my prime sticker location. That's what my kids do. I got a water bottle right here. It says Montana public radio.

My kids sticker the heck out of their, out of their water bottles. The other thing that you can sticker, of course, is your laptop or the back of your iPad or whatever, the back of your phone. People do that a lot. But I'm in favor of stickering in more unusual places.

Like, why get a tattoo when you could just get a sticker? Yeah, I don't just let off in an half an hour. Get a lower back sticker. Make sure you like it for a few weeks before you move on to the tattoo, you know?

Yeah, that's great for the people selling the stickers because you have to buy them a bunch over and over again. Apply them every morning. Yeah, but you want to talk about an affordable investment? Stickers.

Stickers are not super cheap, though I feel like if you're buying multiple per day. Stickers are the cheapest. Stickers are not super expensive, but I feel like if you're buying multiple day, you might end up with a problem. You might end up with one of those winch budgets where it's like, here's my normal budget and then $10,000 on campus.

Does this make sense? I got $1,200 for rent. I got $200 for a car payment and I got $12,000 for stickers. What am I missing?

Please help me with my finances. I look, I could tell you what children do, which is they put them on everything and it seems to work out great. They also can put them in their nose and I wouldn't do that. Oh, that reminds me that for reasons I can't really get into.

I got to hold the original manuscript for Isaac Newton's Principia. Yeah. And it was pretty cool. And I also got to hold and page through a first edition of On The Origin of Species, which I understand is kind of a classic.

Did you slip out a little bit of a pizza-flavored scrouching sniff and just slide it on there? I went ahead and didn't sticker it, but somebody had somebody had a library somewhere in England and put on a big old sticker like over Charles Darwin's name on the title page, just a big old sticker that was like property of this library. This is mine. When I was at the White House, which I was once.

It's almost like I tell a story about getting to hold Isaac Newton's Wikipedia. You're just way better. I'm in trouble here. I need to find a way to one up him.

Time to go to the White House. No way that this is obviously this is not one up. It was just I was downstairs in the White House basement in a library waiting to get brought upstairs. Where are you waiting to get brought upstairs?

Who are you meeting? One of the dogs, I think. And then, actually we did meet the dogs. And then I just grabbed a book off the shelf and I wrote my name on a $1 bill and I put it into the book.

And I assume it's still there. I just wanted to leave a present. I feel like that might be a felony. Like a couple of times.

It's just littering. That's definitely a misdemeanor. I looted in the White House, if anything. Well, you also defaced US federal currency.

No, that's allowed. I've looked that up, obviously, as a person who does it a lot. I'm glad that you googled that before you did it. That's good of you.

You always want to Google your crimes. That's a great rule of thumb. Make sure before you commit a crime to Google is blank a crime. Yeah.

Well, maybe I wouldn't have done it otherwise. I did take a lot of hand towels because like White House embossed hand towels, I feel like they're a dime. You stole from the people of the United States, Hank. It's true.

That's why I pay so many taxes. I never try and cheat on them in taxes because I got to pay for those hand towels I took on my visit to the White House where I did not just be clear. Meet the president, although I did meet the first lady. I took a matchbox, which I was surprised to know they still make.

Yeah. I don't know what the people at the White House are doing with matches. I guess they got to have a lot of candles there. Yeah.

So I took a matchbox. I was there for the Christmas party. It was great. I think I've told you the story before about the Christmas party.

Maybe. I'll tell it again. This is I'm 46 years old. Hank, this is what I do now.

I retell stories. I no longer have enough new things happen to me. Yeah. Yeah.

And you won't let me tell the story of what happened at AFC where we've been until you're going to get there. This US Marine walked up to me and he said, Mr. Green, I'm huge fan of Long Brothers and I happened for many years. And I said, thank you so much.

Thank you for your service. And he said, the event has ended. And then ushered me out of the room. That's very good.

And I was like, this is the best thing that's ever happened to me. This is my favorite fan interaction of all time. The event has ended. That's that's like professional usher stuff right there.

Right? They're not like, they're not like, all right, we're going to get everybody this to, you know, they're like the event has ended. I'm starting doing it in my house. This is the people's house.

Exactly. The people and the event has ended. I'm starting doing it in my own home when I hosted dinner party like eight o'clock. I'll stand up and say, look at my friends and say, it's so nice to see all of you here tonight.

I can't tell you how special this evening the event is ended. That's actually when I finished my coffee at the coffee shop. I just stand up and I've denounced the event has ended and then I leave, which is sort of a fail. When Hank goes to a coffee shop, it's like the mayor of Missoula.

It's not. Hank has to like glad hand everybody has to kiss all the babies. He has to like greet all of the baristas by name and really get to live. The visit of local royalty Hank Green has come to an end.

Thank you for attending this event. Oh God. That's the cringiest thing I've ever heard. We have a, Catherine and I do have a problem where when we finish when we like get wordle and to at the coffee shop, which is a very somber place, the coffee shop.

Everyone's there working and Catherine and I are there, but not. We were there recreating having coffee together. We can't, we can't celebrate to the extent that we would like to. Right.

I understand that is suffering. That's a great thing. It brings us back to our questions. All right.

We've got a question from Andrea. She writes Dear Hank and John, I booked a cabin in a baron wolf enclosure from which to watch the eclipse. What now? Oh, I know.

The only problem is that the cabin sleeps for and has two full bedrooms. My partner and I want to invite another couple to join us. How do we do that without sounding like we're slightly unhinged and planning to feed our friends to the wolves and bears? Well, let me go back to the beginning of your question.

First off, you don't, Andrea, because you've booked a cabin in it. I'm not good at prepositions, but my understanding of in means in a bear and wolf enclosure in a bear and well, like how you get into it is like, you like a tunnel that you get in through and then you're like looking around like it's an aquarium. No, you're surrounded by the bear and the wolf enclosure. No, no, no.

They give you, um, stakes. They give you large T-bone quarterhouse stakes. And then as you're walking into the bear and wolf enclosure, you just toss them. You toss them like crazy while you're running into the cabin.

No, that's ridiculous, John. They catapult you into the cabin. They've got to be catapulted. That's it.

And you come down through the chimney. You come down through the chimney like Santa. You zip line in. Yes, that's how you do it.

I'm sorry. That's clearly better. You zip line onto the roof and then get to the cabin via the chimney. My question is, how are you going to watch the eclipse when you can't leave the cabin?

Is this like a thing? I don't know. But if it's to him, if it's to him, if you need a bear and wolf enclosure. Yeah.

Does it have a roof? You can't watch the eclipse. Yeah. Unless you do it with the bears and the wolves, which I think that other couple should be concerned about.

Now, listen, I know that sometimes we overemphasize the dangers of bears and wolves, but nonetheless, I don't necessarily want to be watching the eclipse with them. Yeah, no. I mean, I want to have a nice peaceful time, not like be like one foot in one foot out with ready to slam the door behind me if I get charged by a bear. Bear and wolf enclosure?

How are they even bears and wolves in one enclosure? They're not buds. Are they? I've never been able to speak with either of them about their feelings on the other.

It's true. It's true. My sensation is that they wouldn't get along in a small space. Well, you would think, I mean, the bears mostly eat vegetables and the wolves mostly eat bears.

So you wouldn't think there's necessarily an issue. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

I mean, it might be hard. Well, it certainly would be hard for a wolf to take on a bear. It might be hard for a bear to take on a wolf. Maybe they get a lot.

Maybe it's fine. But yeah, maybe it's like our relationship with coyotes where we sort of just have a progressive spectrum for each other. We can't really, we can't really hurt each other without tools. I can't really do much about you.

You can't do that much about me. Yeah. Come to think of it. That's how I feel about most people.

Andrea, however you do this, I think that you would pitch it not like this. So the way you've pitched it to us is not how you pitch it to whoever you're trying to invite. You do a better job because I'm scared. Yeah.

I think you've got to pitch it as do you want to have a potentially fatal adventure. Look, you've only got one life. There might be a cancer inside of you eating you right now. Jesus, Hank.

You might as well face the external predators as well. God, I love new Hank. He's just he's my favorite Hank so far. This next question comes from Megan who writes dear mainly Hank but also John.

I take exception to this because this is a question about writing novels which I do know something about. All right, continue. I'm writing a novel set on an artificially constructed very tiny planet or ship the size of a city traveling through space. Why is this a question for Hank?

I know a lot about painting on small canvases. None of my novels have more than four characters. I want to write into the narration a joke about how the east side of the city doesn't really have any meaning with the absence of a magnetic field but then I couldn't figure out if maybe there would still be a magnetic field. How are those generated?

What would encompass do if you took it onto a spaceship? For context, I've attached a poor rendition of the ship. It's kind of like a snow globe. The progressive particle of Meg, Megan.

Well, the very good name, specific sign off. Yes, it is. There would not be a magnetic field unless there was but if there was then it would have to be we would make it. They would be created artificial like like artificial gravity like I've seen spaceships like that where things like swing around so that there's an experience of gravity inside the ship.

Right and there's actually probably quite easy to create an artificial magnetic field. Now, there's another way that there might be a magnetic field which is if the engines created one. So if you've got a there are various propulsion systems that sort of like sling high like sling particles out at high energy and they do that with magnetic fields and so that magnetic field would also probably affect the area that the city is in judging by your helpful graphic that you have included. Those engines that I'm looking at are quite close to that city.

But also you might intentionally artificially induce a magnetic field in order to protect the spaceship from solar like from cosmic radiation. So those charged particles, you want to deflect them so that they're not hurting people. There's various ways to do that. You can do that with like, you know, water shielding or something but you could also do it with an artificially induced magnetic field.

And so that's my answer. You know, now that you're talking, I realize it is more of a Hank question. And there might be and there might be yet other reasons that you would want to create an artificial magnetic field that we have not discovered yet. All right, great.

Good job, Hank. I recommend that the characters in the novel talk to each other inside of both indoor rooms and outdoor spaces. Yes, that would be good. I like an outdoor space on the inside of a spaceship.

Yes. Also good for the movie version. Got us some interiors in next few years. This next question comes from Vivian who asks Dear Hank and John, I'm a science student going into medicine.

So I love learning about evidence-based research. My mom, on the other hand, is a bit more spiritual. And while she accepts common medicine, she also likes the alternative stuff. When we've had conversations about such therapies in the past, I know I've made her feel dismissed.

And I also felt sad because my mom didn't want to learn about the science that's been done in the area. If I do go into medicine after my undergrad, I know I'll have similar conversations with patients as well. How can I become non-judgmental when I disagree with a person's point of view and help both of us feel good about a difficult conversation? Thank you, Vivian.

Well, Vivian, we need more doctors like you. So I hope that you'll stay in the game. Yeah, I mean- Just asking that question is a huge step, I think. Yeah.

And the understanding that people are in all kinds of different places, and there are reasons for that with their understanding of the universe and of how things are currently working. And that's like a reality of our existence. And it's always been a thing. We've always had all kinds of different conceptions of how to understand their bodies and the world that their bodies exist inside of.

But yeah, it's absolutely tricky, and I have a hard time with it as well, especially as I went through treatment talking to people who- And I still deal with this. Talking to people who sincerely want to help me, and I don't lend much credence to their recommendations. There's no evidence that their recommendations would be helpful. Yeah, I find it helpful to remember that I genuinely might be wrong.

Not that I might be wrong in the abstract, I'm sometimes wrong, but I actually might be wrong even about convictions that I hold quite close. And that also helps me to remember that they might be wrong. And it's hard to ask someone to consider that they might be wrong, but if you come from a perspective of really believing that you might be wrong, it maybe gets a little bit easier. But the other thing I'd say about this is that I don't think we make people's minds change by being shamed, or by being cast out, or by feeling less than.

No. I think that hardens people's beliefs, and I think we've seen that over and over again. You would think that if it were an effective strategy, as much fun as we make of people who believe in conspiracy theories, or believe that the Earth is flat or whatever, that there would be fewer such people. But in fact, the more we make fun of those people, the more of them there are.

And I see that as a failure of how we engage in discourse, rather than any other failure. When you come at something from a place of real empathy and understanding, then when you disagree with someone, you can disagree with them. And you can say, I'm sorry, but I disagree. And I think the evidence is very strong in the other direction.

And when it comes to doctors who are good at this, what you hear is that they listen, is that they let the person explain and they talk to them about their beliefs. And that helps. And then they mirror that belief back to them. So they're like, and this is kind of annoying sometimes because it's like, your mom's not listening to what you're saying.

And then you have to listen to what your mom's saying, which in the context of a parent-child relationship, you should both be doing talking and listening. In the context of a doctor-patient relationship, the patient is the person whose body is at stake here, and their mind is connected to their body. So the doctor, and this is really hard. In a lot of contexts, because doctors don't have a lot of time.

But oftentimes, like an oncology context with cancer, the doctor does have more time because you're in a pretty serious medical situation. And it is really about understanding where the patient is at, and letting them be heard so that they know that you respect their beliefs, and they become much more receptive to your perspective as an expert if you convince them of your expertise by respecting them. Which is like, this is how you can't walk into a room and be like, you must respect me. Respect has to go both ways.

Like the doctor offering a patient respect first is how you gain respect from people. Yeah, it all goes back to what Ryan Reynolds taught us on the podcast. It's true. It's true.

What somebody is saying, validate it, validate whatever part of it is validatable, and empathize with them. And that ultimately is how people feel heard, and once people feel heard, you can have a different kind of conversation. But it's something we struggle with too. It's something I struggle with a lot.

So I'm not saying it's easy, and I'm not saying that I have the answer. And also, I might be wrong, genuinely. I often am. John, this next question comes from Autumn who asks, hi, my question is, what's happening with the economy?

Like, 2023, we're supposed to be in a recession, but then Taylor Swift and maybe Barbie apparently boosted it, and then Goodstore did really well, according to y'all, which is great. But groceries and rent are really expensive. But experts point out that spending and big businesses are doing good, I think. I'm trying to decide if two dollar tofu is too expensive or not.

Thanks. Tickets and tuition, Autumn. Yeah, I mean, that's a great question. And I love the way it ended, because that's the way most people experience the economy.

Right? It's like, how much should tofu cost and does it cost that much or does it cost more? Yeah. And but but like, this is part of what's so hard about talking about the economy, right?

Is that there is a particularly weird time to talk about the economy. Right. Because we're not in a recession. In fact, we haven't been in a recession really.

I mean, we had like a weird COVID related sort of two two quarters of not growing, and then we had a weird post COVID related two quarters of barely growing. But like, we haven't really been in a recession since 2008. Like, not only has YouTube never really experienced a recession, like Hank and I, in our like professional lives haven't really experienced a recession since Paper Towns came out. Like, that was the only time I've ever been affected by a recession is when Paper Towns was published in a collapse of the US economy.

It wasn't great for book sales, it turns out. Yeah. But other than that, it's been so long since we had what I think of as like a normal standard recession, like we had in 2001, or really extreme recession, like we had in 2008, that it's kind of hard. That in and of itself is very, very weird.

It's weird to have an economy that's expanded for so long. It's weird to have an economy that's where inflation has been relatively high, not just in the US, but globally. Yeah. And all that stuff is weird.

And then it's weird how there is sort of a disconnect between corporate profits and cost of living, or economic growth and cost of living, especially around housing prices. Yeah. I think it's like, it seemed like it was an inevitability that we were going to have a recession. And like, it is worth saying that we didn't end that like, recessions are bad.

And nobody, I don't think that anybody really quite gets how it happened. Like, I remember everybody saying, there's no way that you can get out of this much inflation without having a hard landing. And they're like, soft landing czar fantasy. And then it seems to like, no one now thinks that there's going to be a recession, which maybe means there will be like, I don't know.

Right. It's like the Spanish Inquisition. It happens when you expect it. Yeah.

Yeah. I mean, first off, we should acknowledge that Hank and I are not economists, nor we are not experts. But what I will say is that like, amid all of this economic growth, there hasn't been much change in the percentage of American households who say that they're living paycheck to paycheck. And when we talk about economic growth, we need to talk about that as well, right?

We can't just have one marker for whether the economy is going well or going poorly. Like, yes, it's great that inflation is coming down. Yes, it's great that unemployment is low. But if we're not seeing progress in how much people feel like, okay with their economic lines or how they feel, whether they feel safe and secure, that's a concern to me.

Because that indicates to me that the economy isn't necessarily as a system isn't doing a good job of doing what is its most essential job, which is to make sure that as many people as possible are included in growth and people overall, over time, become more financially secure, not less. And I don't see a ton of evidence of that from the last couple of decades. Yeah. And the way that people are impacted by the economy varies so much across age and...

Well, and just like individuals, right? Yeah. Autumn, I think that you have definitely got your finger on something here, which is that it seems weird. It just feels like a weird economic moment and if it feels strange and it feels like unemployment is low, but it's hard to get a job.

That seems to me like a true statement. That feels very strange to me because I think that it's just strange right now. It's weird. And it kind of makes sense that it would be weird after a generational shock like COVID.

That the economy has never handled that before. Like, we don't know what it looks like. We don't and we don't know what it's supposed to do. Can we say we hope it's a generational shock instead of saying that with such confidence?

I don't want to have that come back to my... I was looking backwards. Yeah, because like all these people... All the time, people listen to the podcast and they're like, oh, it was so cute and they thought that that thing that happened wouldn't possibly happen.

Exactly. And I don't want to create another one of those. So I just want to be very clear to the universe. I have no idea what's about to happen.

Please don't make it that bad though. Like, I know it's already bad, but please don't make it worse. Okay? Just like, I'll just say it, Hank, and I don't think this is said enough.

One thing I love about the World Wars really, one of the only things I love about the World Wars is that they're a duology. Yeah, I love that. You know, wouldn't want a trilogy. Don't want a trilogy.

Don't think it's necessary. Don't think I need a third installment of that story. Which reminds me, John, that this podcast is brought to you by the Third World War. It's out there waiting if you want it.

No. But we don't. So let's not do it. It's like John and Yoko saying, war is over if you try.

Instead, it's like war is coming if you try. Yeah. So let's not. That's not.

Today's podcast is also brought to you by the Marine who likes long brothers and wants you to know the event has ended. This podcast is also brought to you by the $1 bill somewhere in the presidential library in the base of the White House. And of course, today's podcast is brought to you by cancer cancer, haunting our dreams since 10 months ago. Well, or in my case, actually much longer.

Yeah, and humanity's gave pretty much the whole time. The whole time. The whole time. This episode of your Hank and John is brought to you by Shopify.

There are a lot of things that stand between I have an idea and this is an idea that actually exists in the world and people are buying things from me. And that is what Shopify makes easier. When you start with Shopify, the tools to design and launch and take payments, they're all there from day one. You don't have to build a whole machine before you can start building the business.

And this is important because you also have to like look good and with Shopify's templates, you could get a site set up really quick that looks credible and professional without needing to code or duct tape a bunch of different tools together. And when things look real, that works on my brain to be like, I'm doing a real thing. It also works on other people's brains to be like, this is legitimate. Shopify also has one of the best checkout systems on the internet.

It's built to help customers finish the purchase effectively and efficiently without a bunch of roadblocks. Returning customers can check out with a single click. That means less friction and fewer abandoned carts and a smoother experience for everybody. That stuff gives you confidence early on and it gives other people confidence in what you're doing.

You're not wondering whether the payment system is going to work. You're not wondering whether customers can get through the process. Shopify handles that foundation so you can focus on the thing that you're actually trying to do. It's really kind of amazing to me that Shopify is a tool that works from the first day your store launches when you're just starting to get customers all the way up to being the size of Good.store or dftv.com or being the size of like Mattel and Gymshark.

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Which reminds me again that it's time for the news from Mars so that I can tell you the news from A.C.M.E.M.E. when we'll go quickly. Well John, weirdly one of the reasons we know that the moon has a mass and can figure that out is because of like tides and stuff and how it affects Earth. So you can see it tugging on us just like we talk on it and we can understand the differences that it causes in our planet as it was around us.

And that's kind of part of how we figured out but also because of how it travels around us. The situation with regards to the moon's gravity but weirdly it turns out that Mars might also affect our climate which seems awful. Mars is tugging on us. So Mars is tugging on us and we're tugging on Mars.

Just maybe just a little bit. So astronomical models have predicted fluctuations in our climate that happen over millions of years. They're called grand cycles. And one a potential example has been the result of interactions between Earth and Mars's gravity fields which can affect their orbits including potentially pulling the other closer to the Sun leading to more Sun and warmer climate until the Earth drifts a little bit away creating a cycle that repeats every 2.4 million years.

Wow. Wow. That's pretty mind-blowing. It's pulling on us.

It's pulling, it pulls on us and it gets us a little bit closer to Earth and then we drift away from Earth and then it gets us a little bit closer to Earth, wild. So as the Earth gets warmer like things change we can actually see those changes and it looks as if those things are being affected by our good old friend Mars. Wow. That's so cool.

Well, you know what else is cool. The 94th minute winner against the franchise currently pulling it straight in Milton Keynes. So I think the last time we recorded the pod I was like I'm going to see this game where we're going to play the franchise and I assume that we'll lose because we always lose because we dread this occasion and feel like it shouldn't be happening and they relish the occasion and I'll tell you what we made them dread the occasion. Wow.

It was an extraordinary game. The atmosphere inside of Plow Lane. Yeah. I would rate it somewhere between excellent and terrifying.

Like you know like the difference between like a really warm hot shower and a boiling shower it was in there. It was somewhere in there. It was like a little too hot but oh my god that's amazing and it looked like it was going to be a nail nail dryer. I remember turning to Rosie Anna and my friend Stewart like in the 92nd minute when we almost gave up a goal that would have had us lose the game and saying like look this is the fourth place team in League 2.

We would be we'd do great to get a draw out of this game and it looked like it was going to be a nail nail draw and that's kind of what I was just hoping for at that point and then I mean the weirdest thing happened the ball ball broke and suddenly one of our central defenders was out on the left wing. I still don't understand how or why he got there. He's probably the slowest guy on the field no disrespect Lee Brown but like you and I both know you're in your late 30s and somehow somehow he sent in a cross that landed at the foot of Ronan Curtis who put it in the back of the net the celebrations went on for days for hours for years. I flew home like five days later and I told and I was out of Olivia Rodrigo concert in Nashville with with Alice and I turned to Alice in the middle of the Olivia Rodrigo concert and I said I just thought about Ronan Curtis' 94th minute goal.

That's how long it's been making me happy. All the players came out after the game and hung out with the fans, the manager and all the coaching staff ended up in the bar after the game having a drink. The guy who scored the goal Ronan Curtis was on somebody's shoulders like prancing around Southwest London drinking champagne like it was epic, epic. I mean it was as good a feeling as I've ever ever had in my life as AFC Wimbledon manager Johnny Jackson said to me this is why we do it right this is why we put ourselves through all that pain and it was just so true and then AFC Wimbledon I mean I'm happy to talk about that game for hours if necessary.

It was it was I said afterwards that it was the greatest feeling of my life like in some ways it was a better feeling than even when we got promoted at at Wembley because it felt like we'd exercised a demon. I mean this is a team we had never beat at Plow Lane back home in front of our fans and we just something it felt like we we were free from that somehow. We were free from from at least part of the horror of what happened 22 years ago and it was just an epic epic feeling. I mean people were crying people were and like the franchise fans make fun of us for making such a big deal out of it but like you wish you could have that joy.

Like you wish you could know how that feels. You don't know what it's like to be as sad as we've been. Exactly exactly you're right like you haven't reached the depths you can't reach the heights. A couple days later AFC Wimbledon played Grimsby Town to a nil-nil draw where it looked I mean I'll be honest like I wasn't the only person who was still nursing a hangover and but that was followed up by two consecutive really impressive two-nil victories over Nots County and either Jillingham or Gillingham only the scientists know for sure and now improbably with only eight games remaining in the season AFC Wimbledon are in the playoffs as things stand.

They are in seventh place that would put us in the playoffs giving us a 25% chance or thereabouts of being a league one team next season so not only as beating the franchise just beating the franchise currently playing as trade Milton Keynes but more importantly it has sent us on a heck of a good run. Now four games unbeaten 10 points out of our last 12 points available and in those playoff spots and you know Hank who there's a pretty good chance we would play in those playoffs. Wait before you get there I was one of the people who are confused about everything. Let me summarize.

Our football game is a soccer game it has 90 minutes in it but there are extra minutes that happen at the end because of extra time because of injuries because they don't stop the clock during football games. Exactly. And so the 94th minute is like the game's already ended and you're just in like God's time at that point. That's what they call it.

They call it God's time. Do they? No they don't. They should.

They call it extra time but they should call it God's time. It's God's time. Not only was it God's time. It was the end of God's time.

You don't get much more than four minutes of God's time. Oftentimes it's less than four minutes of God's time. Right and it was essentially the last kick of the ball. Ronin Curtis putting that ball in the back of the franchise net.

Another running running into the fans. I mean yes and giving that ball boy the day of his life. And also everyone was a little worried for the ball boy. Also in the note I have never heard of Ronin Curtis.

Never heard this guy's name. Oh he's a new sign. We signed him in January. He's recovering from an ACL injury and he's way too good for league two and he's really only playing with us to like finish his recovery.

Okay great. So he's only gonna play with us until the end of the season and there is a 0% chance that we'll be able to sign him after that which is what makes this especially hilarious. That like the guy who did this this momentous thing is going to be an AC Wimbledon player for all of like 14 games. It also additionally important.

AOC will then used to be the Don's the MK Don's used to be the team that Wimbledon had but then they were moved away by a rich guy who was like I want to sports team and he stole it and so the people of the town of Wimbledon had to start a new thing and they did and now they've like worked their way up to the same league as the old team that they used to have and so beating that team is a very big deal. Additional very big deal. When you are there something like eight teams the top eight teams in the league then can play to potentially move up to the next league which is a very big deal because then you get like more money for various reasons when you're in a higher league in the sport. It's not like American sports where you buy your way into a league you have to fight your way in and if you're not good enough you lose it and you move down to a different league and that's awful and that and so there's some teams that go automatically up I think the top two is that right?

The top three go up from week two and then four through seven are in the playoffs. And then four through seven are in the playoffs. Another team that will probably be in those playoffs is again the bad guys. That's right the bad guys.

So you might have to play the bad guys again this season in a more high stakes game. I would vomit. I would do anything not to play them. I just want everybody to understand all that.

First off Hank that's one of the most impressive you're a very impressive person you know a lot but the fact that you know that much about League two football almost makes me want to start crying like it makes me feel it makes me feel like we were talking about earlier it makes me feel mirrored it makes me feel like you've been listening to me all these years and I really appreciate it. I feel mirrored empathized with and validated it's a beautiful feeling I love it. But yet all this matters more than astrology. Sorry.

You were on such a good roll. So anyway it's so beautiful it's so incredible. We're in seventh place as it stands right now actually we would play crew Alexandria in the playoffs and then potentially Milton Keynes in the final at Wembley which would I guess be better because then we would have to go to their place to play. I don't know it would all be terrible.

Yeah like if let's get into the playoffs. Let's I mean that would be a miracle result for this season. We were picked to finish like 20th. So if we could get into the playoffs it would just be incredible.

And you guys continue to play well even after losing Ali al-Hamedi. I know we've stopped scoring goals but we've also stopped giving away goals which it turns out is just about the same thing. So we've been playing great and I miss Ali al-Hamedi but he's killing it in the championship. He's crushing it up there and of course he is.

So I feel I feel really excited for him and also for all the players that were going to lose this summer who go up to a better week. Like my beloved Jack Curry but but oh I'm so excited it's a great time to be a Don's fan and you don't get to say that much about the team that's lost more games in the last five years than any other English club in professional football. Well that's very exciting John. We are going to go do our Patreon livestream so the podcast must end.

We are already late. That's right. We gotta go. If you want to send us questions for the podcast we love those that's at Hank and John at gmail.com.

That's Hank and John at gmail.com. This podcast is edited by Joseph Tuna-Mettish. It's produced by Rosie on a host roheuser. Communication score in the end is Brooke Shotwell.

Our editorial assistant is to book a truck of Artie, the music earring now at the beginning of the podcast is by the great controller and as they say in our hometown don't forget to be awesome.