39. The Research on Mimicking and Connection

There are so many things that influence a therapy session—and not all of them are spoken. In this episode, Brenda is continuing the exploration into the less obvious dynamics that shape the therapeutic relationship. Encouragement, presence, attunement—they’re all part of the work. But there are also layers we don’t always consciously notice. One of those layers is mimicking. Brenda walks us through the research that supports this—multiple studies showing that when someone is subtly mimicked through facial expressions, posture, or gestures, they often report that the interaction felt smoother. They tend to feel more positively about the person they were speaking with. In fact, across different ages and settings, people who were mimicked even became more generous and helpful. Mimicking is something humans naturally do. It’s often unconscious and pro-social—it helps us feel connected. And while it shows up in all kinds of settings (sales, parenting, interviews), it holds particular meaning in the therapy room. Therapy is a unique kind of relationship. It’s a space where Brenda wants clients to know that even if we don’t see something the same way, the relationship is still safe. If there’s a disagreement or a shift in tone, she doesn't hide it. We don’t have to match on everything for the relationship to hold. In fact, being able to stay connected in the presence of difference can deepen trust. So as you move through your day, consider the ways these small cues—like mimicking—show up in your own interactions. References: Carpenter, M., Uebel, J., & Tomasello, M. (2013). Being Mimicked Increases Prosocial Behavior in 18-Month-Old Infants. Child Development, 84(5), 1511–1518. https://doi-org.pgi.idm.oclc.org/10.1111/cdev.12083 Ekman, P. (2016). What scientists who study emotion agree about. Perspectives on Psychological Science, 11(1), 31–34. https://doi-org.pgi.idm.oclc.org/10.1177/1745691615596992 Patterson, M. L., Fridlund, A. J., & Crivelli, C. (2023). Four misconceptions about nonverbal communication. Perspectives on Psychological Science, 18(6), 1388–1411. https://doi-org.pgi.idm.oclc.org/10.1177/17456916221148142