4. Take It Back: The Power of Permission

Summary:Have you been waiting for someone to tell you that you're ready? In this episode, we explore the yoga principle of asteya — non-stealing — and turn it inward to examine the surprising ways we steal from ourselves through self-imposed limits and inherited conditioning. We'll look at how the culturescape taught us that permission lives outside of us, and how to take it back. Using Brené Brown's powerful permission slip practice, you'll leave this episode with a tool to reclaim your own authority and start giving yourself the permission you've been waiting for. The power was always yours. Transcript:Have you ever found yourself waiting to feel ready? Waiting to believe that you know enough, that you do enough, that you are enough before you finally allow yourself to fully show up? Waiting for some invisible force to tap you on the shoulder and say, "Okay, now you're ready. You have permission." Today we're talking about permission, who has it, who gave it away, and how to take it back.Hey, it's Kelly G, Radiance Coach. Welcome to the Embodied Radiance podcast, episode number four.Okay, so in episode two I talked a little bit about how we absorb stories and conditioning from the world around us, and all of that started way before we were old enough to question the conditioning, to question the stories that we were being taught. There was no choice. We were born into many of these stories.One of the most pervasive stories that is impressioned upon us is that power lives outside of us, that someone or something else gets to decide when we're ready, when we're enough, when we have permission to use our voice, to take up space, to want what we want, to show up fully in our lives.And the tricky part is we don't even know who it is we're waiting on. There's no face, no name, no specific person, just this vague sense that someone somewhere out there hasn't said yes yet. That's our cultural conditioning at work within us.And I did this for years. I kept waiting to know enough, like somewhere out there was an entity, a committee, some authority that was going to eventually declare me ready to put myself out there in the world. So I kept learning and growing and preparing, and the permission never came, because it was never theirs to give.One of the foundational ethical principles of yoga is the yama asteya. It's traditionally understood as non-stealing, and typically from the perspective of stealing from others. But what about how we steal from ourselves?Because every time we shrink to make other people more comfortable, every time we wait for permission that was always ours to give, every time we talk ourselves out of wanting what we actually want, we're stealing from ourselves. We're stealing from our own potential, our own joy, our own life. And this can look like not speaking up so that others can feel more comfortable, or waiting until you are convinced you know enough to finally show up and put yourself out there, or not letting yourself want what you truly want, or even putting yourself last so consistently that you forget you're even on the list.Asteya asks us to stop stealing from others and from ourselves. And the first step is recognizing where the theft is happening.This is also the niyama svadhyaya in action, which is self-study, turning the lens inward and getting really honest about where we've been giving our own power away. We'll be coming back to svadhyaya a lot because it lives underneath almost everything we're gonna talk about here.Let me tell you about one of my most favorite tools that I use for myself and that I recommend and use with my clients.Brene Brown introduced me to the idea of permission slips, and it quickly became one that I used very frequently, and still do. The concept is super simple, and it is super powerful. It is this idea that you can give yourself the permission that you've been waiting for someone else to grant you. All you do is use the sentence stem, "I give myself permission to..."It works so well and on a deep and subconscious level because it pulls the subconscious limit into your conscious mind. The moment you say, "I give myself permission to take up space," or, "I give myself permission to not have it all figured out yet," you realize two things simultaneously. Number one, that you were waiting on that permission, and number two, that you always had the authority to give it to yourself.So this is asteya and svadhyaya working together. You're studying yourself honestly and reclaiming what was always yours, taking your power back when you see the limits that you've been living according to.In the last episode, I talked about the witness consciousness, the part of you that can see. The witness can see where you've been waiting, can see where you've been stealing from yourself. I'm not pointing this out to bring up shame or blame or judgment or criticism. This is stepping into that part of ourselves that can see the patterns so that we have a choice to change them, and permission slips are a really accessible tool to be able to do something about those limits.Okay, so I wanna invite you to try it right now wherever you are. You don't have to think too hard about it. Just complete this sentence out loud or in your head right now: I give myself permission to... And just let whatever arises, arise. Whatever comes up, that's your wisdom. That's the witness telling you something.You can do that anytime, anywhere. You can also take this into a deeper practice. When you have a few moments, and literally you can set a timer for three minutes if you'd like, or two. It doesn't have to take long. But when you have a few moments, sit down with a piece of paper and just let it flow. At the top of your paper write, "I give myself permission to..."And then just see what comes. Don't edit, don't judge. There's no need to second-guess, just let it flow. Just write. You might surprise yourself.When you do this, this can be around a specific thing, like an upcoming meeting or an event, or maybe it's for a specific timeframe, like, okay, for today I give myself permission to...Or it can be more general, something that you've been wrestling with or some limit that you see that comes up frequently for you.And if you're not sure where to start, just get curious. Where have I been waiting to step up in my life? Where have I been waiting to take action? Where have I been waiting to know enough or to feel enough? What have I been telling myself I'm not ready for?So I want you to remember that there is no committee, there is no entity waiting to declare that you are ready. The permission was always yours. It has always been yours. Every time you give it to yourself, you are taking back what you were programmed to believe didn't belong to you, but it really has all along.So this is how you take your power back, one permission slip at a time. Give it a try. Let me know what you think. So until next time, give yourself permission. Keep practicing. I'm practicing right along with you. And let your life shine.Music by Rory Gardnerwww.yourradiantsoul.com