40: What My Suicide Attempt Taught Me About Radical Joy

Twenty‑three years ago, I didn’t know if I’d see another birthday. I was lost in self‑loathing and loneliness, and I tried to end my life. That moment became the start of learning how to care for my own soul, and eventually, how to choose radical joy. In this episode, I share the full story for the first time publicly. I talk about the pain that led me there, the people who helped me stay, and the lessons that taught me what joy really means. Radical joy isn’t pretending everything’s fine. It’s staying with yourself in the dark, noticing small moments of light, and trusting that somehow it will all work out. It’s not a finish line, it’s a lifeline. If you’ve ever felt tired of the noise in your own head or wondered if things can get better, this episode is for you. You’re not broken. You’re already worthy of the gentle kind of joy that shows up simply because you’re still here. Trigger warning: this episode includes discussion of suicide and trauma. Please listen with care, and if you’re struggling, call or text 988 for support. If this story speaks to you, share it with a friend who might need some hope today, or come tell me one small thing that’s bringing you joy right now over on Instagram @anniejoy. And if you’d like updates about my upcoming private podcast and resources on living with radical joy, email me at [email protected]  to get on the list.