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Or as I prefer to think of it, Dear John and Hank. That's a podcast where two brothers answer your questions, give you to be a advice and bring you all the weeks news from both Mars and AFC Wimbledon and John. Recently, there was a theft of $20,000 of college textbooks from the University of Montana bookstore. Luckily, luckily, the authorities were able to get both of those books back.
See, that's a good joke because it's not a pun. No, it's not. It's a cultural commentary. Exactly.
It's analysis. It's biting analysis. It's broken about the college system in the United States. No, kids, it keeps getting worse.
They were so expensive when I was in school. I like paid for an entire summer of food by dumpster diving textbooks. I know. I remember.
You also would dumpster diving for electronics that just needed a little bit of repair and then repair them and sell them on eBay. But most, mostly, actually, you paid for that summer of food by selling my baseball cards on eBay without confirmation. That was a separate summer. I can't believe you did that.
And it led to my, the entrepreneurial spirit that has brought us so much as brothers. That's true. Without those baseball cards, I would never have lured the first lesson of business, which is steel. Steel!
Steel! Steel, fearlessly. I mean, you were stealing from me, but I'd stolen from you too, I guess. But it still annoys me.
I don't think I've ever told you this story, but my great friend, Kava Akbar, who wrote the Brilliant Book Martyr, which was, you know, like a Pulitzer finalist and National Book Award finalist, all that stuff. It's a great book. Anyway, I told him once that story and how he sold my Johnny Bench rookie card, which was the most egregious- I thought Carl Eustremsky was the biggest deal in there. Carl Eustremsky was the most expensive one, but Johnny Bench was a player I had a real affection for.
Carl Eustremsky was just an investment play. Yeah, well, it turned out worked out. The Johnny Bench card was just a pure love, you know, pure love of the catcher game. And so, Aper Poe of nothing, because he is the loveliest person.
I tell Kava the story. We're having a great conversation. The conversation moves on to other topics. Three weeks later, what should arrive in my mailbox, but a Johnny Bench rookie card?
Whoa! John, honestly, people got to stop that. It's so thoughtful. He's such a thoughtful friend.
I feel so bad all the time, because I know people like that, and I will never be like that. I drive by my friend's house and you know what I feel? Guilt. Yeah.
I feel like, oh, that person told me about that thing, and I was going to do that thing for them, and then I was just, I forgot about it, and I'll never do it, because this thought is going to be in my mind for a total of 45 seconds. And I'll just take the negative feeling of guilt with me out of that thought, and then that's all I have left from that thought. I want to have the impetus to actually do the nice thing. I will just carry the guilt to negative self-talk forward, and put it on the pile.
I love the idea that you just blame people for being really good gift-giver. I do. People got to be worse. Like me.
They got to be more like me. Less thoughtful. More stealing. More stealing less thoughtfulness.
I got to thank you, Letter, from Amy Cross Rosenthal once, the late-grade writer. And it was about, yay big. I realized that most people listened to this on podcast form, not on Patreon, but it was about, I would say, one inch by one inch. And it came with a gigantic magnifying glass.
And only by using the gigantic magnifying glass, could you read the thank you, Letter? Now see, that is a classy thank you, Letter. If you need paraphernalia to read the thank you, Letter, that's how you know it's classy. This is one of my favorite thank you letters I've forgotten.
It is on, since we're talking to the Patreon people now, it's on a quarter of a paper plate that has been ripped up. Yeah. Because it was at like a barbecue, and my friend Brett ripped this piece off of it and wrote a nice thank you, Letter. See, that's not like keeping it on my sh- And you keep that one.
I do. Yeah, that's great. The first gift Amy Cross Rosenthal ever gave me was when we first got to know each other. When we first became friends.
So you know our late great grandmother, Billy Grace Goodrich, Nanny. Of course, of course, yes. When I moved to Chicago, Nanny told me to keep $40 in my left pocket at all times for when I looked. As a good plan, just in case.
I would argue that it was a little bit of a fear of urban environments that pervaded Nanny's life anyway. So I was telling Amy Cross Rosenthal about this. The next time I saw her, she gave me two money clips. One said JMG, and the other said MM for money money.
That's so weird. It's so thoughtful. This is the future that maybe will be delivered by AI. If AI does all the work, then we could just be nice to each other full time.
Yeah, I think that I don't particularly love the idea of like, oh, I got you this gift. It was suggested that JMG will be doing all the laundry and stuff, right? And then we'll have time to be nice. We'll have time to be kind to each other and be thoughtfully generous because JMT will be doing the dishes.
But unfortunately, apparently I cannot do the dishes. I was going to say based on my interactions with JMT so far, I've seen very little evidence that it could do. No, I can tell you how. Exactly.
It's going to give me orders in the great future. But Sam Almond did. He did learn my first rule of business. Steel!
All right, John, we got a bunch of questions for our listeners. Do you want to hear one? Yeah. This one comes from Anna, who has steer hank in John.
I'm sitting on the shore of beautiful Table Rock Lake in southwest Missouri while admiring the water and enjoying the sound of the waves. I suddenly saw fish. Shabamam, out of the water. Why do they do this?
Clearly fish need water to survive. So are they just wanting to catch a small glimpse of our world? Or are they going full on Ariel and trying to become the where the people are? Well, let me answer this with what I suspect is true and then you can tell me your science answer, which is going to be boring.
I suspect fish are playing. I suspect they're having a good time. Nobody asks like, why did John and Hank get in the water sometimes even though they're fundamentally land-free? They're going to die in there.
We would die in there, but we're doing it to play. We want to have a good time. And also maybe to cool off a little bit, but mostly just to have a good time. So there are some fish that jump and we don't know why.
Yeah, it's because they're having fun. And we can't accept that. So we say maybe they're trying to knock parasites off their body or they're practicing in case in the future they have to escape. So like sometimes fish about a water, of course, because they're being chased by a bigger fish.
And so maybe they're practicing for that eventuality. And so they need to do it even when they're not being chased by a bigger fish so that they are good at it when the big fish shows up. And then in this case, in this particular fish, almost certainly that fish was going for a snack. So there was something at the top of the water that they snuck up on an eight.
Oh, they're just like getting an insect, a water bug or whatever. Yeah, like those videos you see on shark week of a giant, great white popping out of the water with half a seal in its mouth. Like that, but for a may five. Yeah, that's not.
I think you're underrating the extent to which fish, well, obviously fish don't have free will none of us do, but like the extent to which fish are able to. No, that's just the way of the podcast. That's all. But I think you're underestimating the extent to which fish are able to like wish to express themselves through the only vehicle they have, which is their bodies.
Can I chew with a theory? Yeah. Here's my theory. I don't think it matters if my biology is telling me that free will exists.
I think that there is a there's not enough attention being paid to my subjective experience as a valid piece of the equation here, whether or not I have free will doesn't really matter if I feel like I do. Just like doesn't really matter if the universe is a simulation, if it feels real and I am acting inside of it. And I think that this can go for a number of sort of big philosophical questions where it's like, well, am I being told by my biology that all of this is the case, how much does the objective experience matter if the subjective experience is the whole thing for me. Like, I only have the subjective experience.
Yeah, there's a part of me that would like to know if I'm merely my biology, but I think for you, that's a solved question because you think you are merely your biology. So, yeah, which seems like a way to live. But if your subjective experience is all that matters, like, why not embrace a subjective experience that has a little more flavor to it? I don't know if you'll do that.
Yeah. Drink Dr. Pepper instead of water, if you were, but the spiritual version. Instead, I'm having like, with Roy's over here, you think?
Yeah, you're like, you're drinking LaCroy and you could be drinking sweet, sweet Dr. Pepper. Yeah, it's not even bad for you. I mean, some people would argue it's kind of bad for you.
It's done good and bad. It's done. I mean, it's done a lot of bad. If we're going to talk about religion on this podcast again, let's just acknowledge, as the religious person, I feel like I should acknowledge it has driven quite a lot of stuff.
Yeah, it doesn't give you time. It does. Sometimes I'll be listening to a podcast, like a history podcast, and they'll be talking about burning with a snake or whatever, or like trial by fire where they would have people walk through a fire and if they made it, then they were blessed by God, and if they didn't, then they went ambed anyway. And I'll be like, oh my goodness, like, it's very helpful to come to my particular church was formed entirely by the most powerful person in all of the world, arguably wanting to get a divorce.
Yeah. Yeah. You know, like that helps me center my religion right where it ought to be, which is that like, this is a function of like, this is a thing that people in power use to get. There's a lot here that's earth based.
A lot of earth based. So I think that there is, I think there's some advantage to objective reality. I think you slightly are underestimating the benefits of knowing objective reality. But the thing about free will in particular that's like, I do, like my biology is telling me very clearly that I have choices and that I exercise them.
And I, and like that's so like in my face, that's so in the face of my consciousness, like my consciousness is constantly having that shoved in its face. And I don't know by what, but like that is, I feel like that is a thing. Yeah. I mean, you are on a journey of meeting and you're getting perilously close to my relationship with the divine, which is that if I experience it, it is real.
I just don't experience it. Well, maybe you will someday. Maybe you'll be driving through Michigan. You're going to be ready, Rob.
In freshman year at college, you'll see a sign for the world's largest wooden crucifix. And you'll be like, that sounds funny. And you'll go there and you'll be overwhelmed by an experience of the divine and literally fall to your knees looking at the world's largest wooden crucifix. Even though you are your son.
John is going to get me back for selling Carl Eustremsky. Bye. Giving me a religious experience. That's right.
You're going to end up tithing. That's how I'm going to get that Carl Eustremsky money back. All right. We got to get to another question.
This one comes from Anna who writes, you're John and Hank, I just started therapy mostly because I'm in college and it's free and also because I have a friend who definitely needs therapy. So I keep saying that everyone can benefit from therapy. So I figure I should take my own word on it. However, I feel like I'm mostly emotional stable and don't have one major thing I want to work on.
So I don't know what to say. So far without a fair amount of awkward silence is do I just start blabbing about other things I'm thinking about? Would it be weird for me to ask my therapist questions? Not an attorney and attorney.
Ha! Are you serious? How could I make that up? I'm not clever enough.
I don't need the address. An attorney must have been on purpose. An attorney, I regret to inform you on a few levels that you only have one career option after college. You must.
I'm not telling you what kind of practice I'm just telling you that you absolutely have to be an attorney and attorney. It's like blah blah blah from a resident of it. You have to be an attorney. That is messed up.
I had a friend in high school named Amanda Lynn. Oh, like Amanda? Yeah. I don't know that she ever got into the instruments.
But an attorney, an attorney, an attorney, I'm sorry. Your whole question should be, what? Like my parents really wanted me to choose a profession. I mean, an attorney.
I don't want to be an attorney. What do I do? And we'd be like, it doesn't matter what you want. No free will.
You're an attorney. Exactly. Exactly. It's like if you were named, I'm a gymnast.
Sorry. I knew a kid when I was growing up in Alabama named Tiger Blorange, first name, middle name, Tiger, of course, being the Auburn Tigers and Blorange being a mix of blue and orange, the color of the Auburn Tigers. And then they went to Alabama. Wow.
That can't be true. You know, like a dream. You can't be investing with me. You can define your parents, an attorney.
And you don't have to become an attorney, although I think you should. Tell me this person's name again. Tiger Blorange. No.
Yeah. No. I wonder if I can Google them right now. They named this person.
The middle name is Blorange. No. Yeah. Yeah.
Hank, you don't understand how people in the South like college football. It's like the way I like AFC Wimbledon. That's wild. Now, Tiger may have gotten married and may have lost their middle name in the process.
That does sometimes happen. But that's how I knew them. Let's get to Anna's action. I'm trying to figure out what the, if it was named after the college football team in my town, what it would be, because they're maroon and silver and the mascot is the grizzly.
So it would be grizzly Milver. Marouvel. Grizzly Milver is a better name than Marouvel. Grizzly Milver.
Grizzly Milver isn't even that weird of a name. If I met a guy and he was like, hey, my name is Grizzly Milver Smith. I would be like, oh, that makes sense. Yeah.
I've got a cousin named Sanders. Yeah. Somebody named Mr. Milver.
Yeah. Milver. Milver. Oh, it's a Milver's out there.
Probably some Milvers out there. So I don't think it's that unlikely here. Everybody send us what it would be for you, but John's going to tell you what it would be for him. What it would be for me is naming kid Indiana, which isn't that weird.
I actually know some kids named Indiana. Oh, what's the mascot? No, it's the mascot. It would be the Indiana.
Oh, right. Okay. So it would be the Hoosier. Hoosier's great.
Hoosier's a big first name, but it's not an impossible first name. And then it'd be red and white. So it'd be Hoosier right. Hoosier right.
I mean, that seems like a person. If you told me, like, what's your name Hoosier right? I'd be like, well, that's what a weird name Hoosier, but like, right, totally. Yeah.
It fixes it. It fixes it. All right. Honestly, I'd be like, why don't you go by right?
Okay. You got to send us in what your college football name would be if you were named after your dad's favorite college football team or the one where you go. Okay. What do you do in therapy if you don't feel like you have anything to work on?
An attorney with respect. You have something to work on. Yeah. Yeah.
I mean, you got to talk to your therapist about what you're hearing. Like, I'm going to be an attorney. So bad. So bad.
They named me and attorney, which is dramatically correct. Right. They didn't name you attorney. No, no, no, you've got to talk to your therapist about this for at least a little bit.
And usually the way I find therapy works is you open like a top shelf and that leads to a lower shelf and then eventually get to the bottom shelf, which is like, did have my parents attempted to take away my free will and prescribe my entire life. Yes. All right. I've been very interested.
Therapy's been fascinating for me. I'm fascinated by my therapist who tells me nothing about her. I've heard that other people hear a lot about their therapists and their session. I know very little about nothing.
And also, I recently did our first telehealth session and I talk all the time about like my job, what I do for a living. And that it's a lot of pressure. And then I have all these sort of like what I consider to be unique difficulties that you know I think she sees as somewhat universal. And I did our first telehealth and she was like, is that what your office really looks like or is that like a green screen?
I was like, no, that's actually my office, which indicates to me that over the six months that we've been talking, she's never watched one of my videos. She's never been like, ah, I'm curious to go and like see what this guy's up to. Does she think that I'm lying about having a giant audience and lots of pressure? No, but my, I don't think she does, but my psychiatrist initially thought that I had to win since a grandeur.
Because I came in there and I was like, listen, I'm a best-selling author and everybody on Tumblr hates me. And he was like, I've heard that one before. But it turns out that you are a best-selling author, but like 60% of Tumblr hated you and that's me. Yeah, I was exaggerating to be fair.
I always had a little group of people on Tumblr who stood by me. Thank you so much. But yeah, they seriously no joke. But yeah, I think it's good that your therapist doesn't watch your videos and I think it's probably a conscious choice.
I think you are correct. And I appreciate it. Which reminds me that this podcast is brought to you by my therapist, currently accepting new clients in Missoul, Montana. And not listening to this podcast.
No idea. It even exists. Yeah, because you don't want to talk about this podcast in therapy because it's actively pleasant. Yeah, no, it does not come up.
Today's podcast is also brought to you by an attorney, an attorney. That's where you go to get a peek at what's less. In addition, this podcast is brought to you by the world's biggest crucifix. It's on the side of the road.
It has stated America. It's the world's biggest wooden crucifix to be fair. Where is it? Michigan, I believe.
It's on the side of the road in Michigan somewhere, probably from somewhere in the middle would be my guest or New Chicago, probably. Where's it on the way to? And today's podcast is finally, today's podcast is going to roll right through that. Finally, today's podcast is brought to you by sitting on the shore of a beautiful table rock lake in southwest Missouri, wondering why fish jump out of the water only to learn that they do it for the pure joy of having free will.
Fish. My guest is also brought to you by theft. Couldn't let it go. This episode of your Hank and John is brought to you by Shopify.
There are a lot of things that stand between I have an idea and this is an idea that actually exists in the world and people are buying things. And that is what Shopify makes easier. When you start with Shopify, the tools, to design and launch and take payments, they're all there from day one. You don't have to build a whole machine before you can start building the business.
And this is important because you also have to look good and with Shopify's templates, you can get a site set up really quick that looks credible and professional without needing to code or duct tape a bunch of different tools together. And when things look real, that works on my brain to be like, I'm doing a real thing. It also works on other people's brains to be like, this is legitimate. Shopify also has one of the best checkout systems on the internet.
It's built to help customers finish the purchase effectively and efficiently without a bunch of roadblocks. Returning customers can check out with a single click. That means less friction and fewer abandoned carts and a smoother experience for everybody. That stuff gives you confidence early on and gives other people confidence in what you're doing.
You're not wondering whether the payment system is going to work. You're not wondering whether customers can get through the process. Shopify handles that foundation so you can focus on the thing that you're actually trying to do. It's really kind of amazing to me that Shopify is a tool that works from the first day your store launches when you're just starting to get customers all the way up to being the size of Good.store or dftv.com, or being the size of like Mattel and Gymshark.
When you build a Shopify, you're building with tools that already work at every scale. All you need is the idea, Shopify handles the rest. You can start your free trial at Shopify.com. Start your free trial at Shopify.com.
Shopify.com. With new subscription only, while supplies last until September 27th, 2026. See you website for more details. Thank you for watching.
Thank you for watching. Alright, John, this next question comes from Hannah who asks Dear Hank and John, if the whole world quarantined themselves for four to six or whatever weeks would all viruses like the common cold, etc. die out? How long do viruses live?
If they only had a host to reproduce, surely they would die some when when there are no new hosts, or can they survive in our bodies indefinitely? Neither a hypochondriac nor a scientist. Just Hannah. Great news for you, Hannah.
So little pressure on you to choose a specific career. Yeah, that's true. Although it just occurred to me that the HUH in Hannah actually is pronounced. I always thought that the HUH in Hannah was a assignment, but actually there it is right at the end of Hannah.
It wasn't. Would it be Hannah? Like, Anna? Anna?
Anna? Anna? Also, in to nature. Anna.
We've just made a discovery. I don't know that we would be the first linguist to pay a ridiculous amount of attention to the noises we make. No, no, I'm going to publish this in a linguistics journal and blow everything's mind. The field is about to be turned upside down by this Hannah news.
I have terrible news with regards to the erratic ability of viruses. It's real hard. There are some that we could quarantine our way out of, but only if we really did it and that would be basically impossible. Most of us could either have long reservoir in the human body, where some people might clear it very quickly, but others might have that disease for months and still have enough to turn it to someone else.
But some are in there forever, basically, and will hang out and reactivate in those situations. You can re-infect people. Yeah, like how you get checkbox again. You get checkbox back.
And you can get that from, I don't know if you can get checkbox from someone with Jingle's. I assume that you can, but I don't know that for sure. I don't know. That seems like something that would be a hank thing.
Yeah. And then there are many, many viruses that have wild reservoirs. And unfortunately, the animals are not going to quarantine along with us. So they'll keep passing it back and forth between each other and then can re-infect us when it's time for the quarantine to end.
So there are, I do kind of think of viruses as either being eradicable or ineradicable based on the wild reservoir. Wild reservoir is a great phrase. It's good. It's a good title for a book or something.
And COVID, for example, has many well reservoirs. You know what has a lot of wild reservoirs? TV. Yeah.
And so, you told me once that they thought maybe tuberculosis like arrived in the Americas by seals? It did. It went from Japan probably or somewhere in Eurasia to the Americas via seal. And then the seals when they were being butchered in the Americas gave somebody tuberculosis who then spread it in their communities and then it pretty much spread.
But tuberculosis was one of the only diseases from Afro-Eurasia that had already gotten to the Americas before the great, before the Columbia Exchange and the Great Dying. And so it was one of the, it was one of the diseases that there was actually like, you know, a little more experience with in indigenous American populations. And there was for instance, like smallpox. Wild.
Interesting. Yeah. Tuberculosis, man. It was everywhere.
And it still is everywhere. We have 10,000 cases in the US every year, even though we don't talk about it much. So we need to be talking about TV more, which reminds me of this question from Audrey who writes Dear John and Hank, but mostly John, this is my favorite kind of question. If I want to donate to the TV cause, what is the best organization to do that with?
Pumpkin's and Penguins Audrey. I think, I mean, I'm biased Audrey because Hank and I are working on a big project, anti-TV project with Partners in Health in the Sootoo. But I think P.I.H. Partners in Health.
They do really good work in tuberculosis. And they've also sort of led the charge on tuberculosis since the 1990s when they began providing multi-drug resistance in TV care in Peru. And so I think that if you want to be on the leading edge of the people who are making the blueprints for what the future might look like with TV care, I would say Partners in Health. We got this John message from Sarah and that's very important for me to read because it allows me to tell you a story about myself.
Sarah says, Dear John and Hank, I've had a Elle Langley song, Worked for the Wind stuck in my head this morning and it made me think, if this guy wants her to stick around, he just needs to move somewhere without wind. Does such a place exist? May the Wind always be at your back. Sarah.
Hank, is there a place without wind? Wow. I'm not entirely, well, there are places without wind. Space.
Right. Mercury has solar wind, but that's not wind. That's a totally different thing. But on Earth, I think it's going to, under the water, never mind, under the sea in a submarine, there's probably going to be a little bit of ventilation or else things are going to be real unpleasant.
But like the International Space Station, not as windy as you'd like, they have a lot of fans actually up there. You don't want to fall asleep on the International Space Station and create a bubble of carbon dioxide around your face and you wake up choking. Oh, that's terrifying. So bad.
So they like fall asleep. Well, there's the gold for themselves. Yeah. Which is around the equator and has very little wind.
Right. But it does have so wind. Yeah, there are definitely areas that have very little wind and I think that the, a very consistent middle of the ocean situation where there's no Coriolis effect creating wind, which would be right at the equator, would be your best bet for an unwindy place. All right.
Let's go. Let's, what, caves? Caves don't have. They got to move to the caves.
You got to move to the caves. Very, very deep caves that do not have outlets, some caves, of course, that's definitely caves that don't have wind. And also collapsed mines. That would be a place to move.
Seems like a good life. Down there in a hot, wet, humid, dark, collapsed mine, hunting for old denim like that guy on YouTube. I love that guy on YouTube. I can't believe you also watched that guy on YouTube who owns the ghost town.
He owns a ghost town and he likes searches for old denim because the old jeans are very valuable. Old jeans are worth hundreds and hundreds of dollars. That's how he makes a living. He's going down into the mine and finding old denim.
Why don't people leave their denim in the mine? They got too hot. They took them off. Filled them up, put them on a shelf.
Lost them. It's hard. They're mine. We've all been there.
Walking around paint slips in the dark. We don't know what people got up to in this old day. That's true. It's time to transition to a question from Emma who writes, Dear John and Hank, why does Diet Dr.
Pepper taste so vastly differently when it is cold versus when it is room temperature? It's like a different soda. Both are good, but what is going on? I won't try it hot because I'm not a monster, but does it taste extremely different than two?
In a dill, Emma, she's in a dilemma. It's pretty good. It's not as good as an attorney, Emma, unfortunately. John, yeah.
I think that this must be true of all of all sodas. It totally is, but I think it is more true of Dr. Pepper simply because Dr. Pepper has more convergent flavors.
Different ones come out at different temperatures. One thing I've also known is, and this is going to make me sound weird, it's going to make it sound like I drink a lot of Dr. Pepper in different circumstances, which I do, is that Diet Dr. Pepper tastes very different outside than inside.
Like the exact same Dr. Pepper can drunk outside tastes different than inside because you're just ingesting different chemicals along with it. You're ingesting fresh air instead of store-bought air-conditioned air. Sure.
And I am 100% convinced that more of the complexity of Dr. Pepper comes out, this is making me sound weird. Yes. More of the complexity of Dr.
Pepper comes out when you drink it outside than when you drink it inside. And I think that you actually taste more of the flavors when you drink it in room temperature than when you drink it cold. Now it's not as refreshing. I think that that is correct.
It's not as fun to drink, but you can taste more of the complexity. It's almost like drinking a red wine where there's a certain temperature that's perfect and that temperature isn't ice cold. Well, I mean, this is a known effect. So when a thing is warmer, two things are going to happen first, your taste buds will be more active because they will be warmer and molecules move around more.
And two more things will volatilize. So it's when it's warmer, it's easier for those smells to leap off of the drink. And Dr. Pepper is, I would imagine, formulated to be tastiest when cold because that's what we want.
And there's another effect here, which is that warm water can hold less carbon dioxide, so it's going to fizz more when you're drinking a warm water. Definitely fizzes more. And that's going to have a number of effects. It's going to make it, I think, less easy to drink, more like there's going to be more like volatilization because of that because it's creating a bunch of surface area.
It's going to be like weird in the mouth. Yeah. Yeah. Definitely different.
So warm Dr. Pepper doesn't taste, precisely for those reasons, warm Dr. Pepper, I think, isn't as refreshing or as fulfilling to drink, but I'm telling you, there is more complexity on the palate than cold Dr. Pepper.
For sure. You would get more flavor. But as for whether it's different inside or outside, you may be a warmer outside, and that's making it sort of a nicer experience. I don't see what else is happening there.
Well, I'm just telling you, something's happening. Your biology is experiencing it. And so what is the objective reality matter when this objective reality is your experiences? Boom.
Boom. I mean, back to this theme of today's video, the free will episode. I think we didn't name the religion episode, the religion episode. I think that was a huge mess.
They should be called the free will episode. Yeah. That's what people want. They want us to hit the hard, complicated issues of humanity, but in ways that don't solve anything or get deep at all or actually create any kind of new insight.
Well, when we try to provide proper advice, it's always a board wall. Wouldn't want to do that. No, it's extremely dubious advice, which reminds me to take on this important question from Melissa, who writes Dear John and Hank, I'm listening to episode 226 of the Pod. It is the monkey in which you too frequently use the phrase, not my circus, not my monkeys.
And I've been thinking throughout the episode, what do I do when it is my circus, but they are not my monkeys. Alternately, what do I do when my monkeys end up in someone else's circus? Melissa, very good question. John, have you heard of Mel Robbins?
Oh, sure, the Let them Theory. The Let them Theory is just not my circus, not my monkeys. We could have been Mel Robbins. We just had a fucking...
We had to make a book called Not My Circus, Not My Monkeys. Actually, it would be called Not My Monkeys. Not My Monkeys. Because that's a catchier type.
Not My Monkeys. People would be like, what's not my monkeys about? They could have called it the Not My Monkeys Theory. They'd stop in their tracks and they would...
Especially if it's in that big business with the font. And then there's just like on yellow with one of those clapping monkeys from the cast with the wind up on them on the bottom. Maybe one of the flying monkeys from... Mary Poppins?
No, the Wizard of Oz. Just some kind of monkey down there. Some would argue that Mary Poppins would have been improved by flying monkeys. And in a way isn't Mary Poppins a flying monkey.
Her self a flying primate. Great point Hank. So you got Mary Poppins on there. You got those whole blind up monkeys.
And it says Not My Monkeys in Big Letters by John and Hank Dean, author, so let them see it. You can take Seth. Steel. Steel.
Number one lesson in business. Oh my God. What were we talking about? Sometimes it is your circus but it's not your monkeys.
And then you have to tell the person who's monkeys they are. That you actually don't need monkeys in this particular circus. And sometimes they are your monkeys. And it's not your circus.
And then you have to listen when someone says I'm sorry. But this is not your circus. These are your monkeys but this is not your overall circus. The overall circus is mine.
And therefore you can take your monkeys if you want or you can let them be in my circus. But you cannot have control over the circus just because you own the monkeys. Yeah. This is going to be great stuff for our new book, The Let Them Monkeys Theory.
No monkeys. Oh man. The Let Them Monkeys do what those monkeys are up to theory. I just see Mel Robbins a lot because we're both on the bestseller list right now.
And I have no idea if Mel Robbins is male or female. If Mel Robbins is 20 or 70. I have no idea who Mel Robbins is. I have to confess.
I do. I'm too online. I haven't read The Let Them Theory. But I love the idea of letting other people make their own mistakes.
That is the thesis. You might wonder whether it needs a whole book. But that is how these things work. Yeah.
Well, I mean, the not my monkeys thesis is going to be like a 354 hundred page book. It's going to be long. That's actually not what you want to do. You want it?
Oh, you want it to be nice and punchy. You want it to be you want it to be an approachable length. Who moved my cheese kind of thing? My cheese length for sure.
Okay. So 150 pages heavily illustrated kind of like line drawing illustrated but also grass but hand drawn and citations. Citations that take you to papers that don't actually say what you say. They say no come on.
I'm just saying this like that's not how we're going to do it. The not my monkeys book is going to be a big hit because of the quality of its citations. All right. And the citations are just going to be two websites that are us saying the thing that we said.
I love that. Yeah. That's brilliant. That's brilliant.
It'll be it'll be all the citations will link to vlogbrothers videos where we say things with great confidence. And then some of the citations and but only like five of them are just going to be me dancing. Occasionally you would get Hank doing a monkey dance. I'm never going to give you.
Yeah. But dancing like a monkey while doing it. Yes. Love it with symbols.
Love it. Anyway, John, do we do a good job? I mean, how can you just how can you just how can you just anyway? Our first million dollar idea in weeks.
John, I really do want to write a book with you. I think that we would be good at it. I just think that I think that we need to figure out the system. Yeah.
We need to figure out the time the time in the system. And that's not easy. It's not. No, our time our time schedules don't often overlap in terms of.
No, I think that the book that we write together is probably going to have to be done in our 60s when we're retired from the other stuff except for this because I want to call it Dear John and Hank forever. You're going to immediately make me some bet that I'm going to win. Alright, Hank, it's time to get to the all important news for Mars and AFC Wimbledon. You want to go first?
No, you'll go first. Alright, AFC Wimbledon keeps signing players saying we can't stop signing new players. Yes. But the most important player we signed Marcus Brown, Nerdfighteria's own Marcus Brown is coming back for two more years.
Marcus Brown just signed a two year contract, our central attacking midfielder and we signed a new keeper Nathan Bishop on a three year contract. He came from Sunderland, who up teeed down the Premier League actually, but he didn't really play for them. He was on loan last year. Anyway, he looks like he's going to be really good.
And I don't know if you've seen our kits, Hank, but our kits have come out here. I'll text him to you. They are gorgeous. Take a look at these AFC Wimbledon home away and third kits.
I don't know about the third kit that's green and black, but the blue and yellow kits are massive. Massive? Looks very nice. Looks fairly similar to what the last one looked like I got to say.
Strongly disagreed. Didn't have that collar. Wasn't made by Lotto. Didn't have that cool diamondy background that we've got now.
Yeah, that's cool. I like that a lot. I like the green. That's awesome.
Okay. You like the green one. What do you think of the yellow one at the bottom there? I'm not as much.
Not as much. It doesn't have a ton of green. I kind of like the fact that it doesn't have a ton going on. The only thing I don't like is that it has those side panels and anytime it's a side panel for me when I'm wearing it as an extra large, those are significant side panels.
The players wear them. I'm not a professional footballer. Okay. Well, all right.
So that's the news. We got Marcus Brown. We got a goalkeeper, which is huge. Having a goalkeeper is really an essential part of having a soccer team.
And especially for a club like Wimbledon, who does take on a lot of shots. I do it if they asked. Yeah, but respectfully, I don't think that you keep us in lead one. I would let a lot of balls.
Yes. Into the net. People would be like, wow, like we're actually in a situation where we could pick somebody out of the stands who would be better. I played goal.
I played goal when I was a little. I think that I got some knee issues and also I here's what I predict that the ball would hit my hands and I'd be like, I got it. I stopped. But it would keep going.
I don't have the strongest risks. I mean, I got the soy boy risk. Yeah, I don't have them. I think that also the diving would be an issue.
Every time the goalkeeper coach was like, why didn't you die for that one? I'd be like, are you kidding? We're trying to avoid injuries, right? Because every time is an injury.
Do you want me to break a rib? Like, who's the goalkeeper behind me for God's sakes? The last guy. If I'm in here on the last guy.
Exactly. If I'm playing, you know, I can't win. Well, in Mars news, John, the Mars reconnaissance orbiter has been orbiting Mars for almost 20 years. It's got five instruments on board.
They're pointed at Mars. They're doing stuff. And it's just learned a new trick. Can you believe that?
You know what that trick is? What's the new trick? It can roll over. Oh, it can go upside down.
Roll over. That's exciting. The team orbiting the orbiter could roll it up to 30 degrees in any direction to help point at the various instruments at different targets on the planet. And that's hard enough because you have to keep track of where all the other instruments are going to be pointed to make sure that all the people doing science with that data are getting what they want.
One of the instruments on the orbiter is called the shallow radar. And it helps scientists see things like ice and rock and sand. And it might be particularly good at figuring out where there might be ice close to the surface, which could be helpful for future astronauts and also just as well as in general. So they wanted to see if they could execute what they called a very large role.
Oh, it would be around 120 degrees and would allow the shallow radar a better view of Mars. These are super hard to do because they require a lot of planning to make sure the spacecraft will be like, okay, after it does it. And then recent paper scientists reported that they were able to do three very large roles between 2023 and 2024. It's exciting.
But also because of the time that it takes to do these roles, the mission is currently limited to doing only one or two very large roles per year. Oh, wow. So it turns out you can teach an old craft new tricks. That's right.
That's great, man. Congratulations on your three very large roles that led to, I believe, a 360 degree turn. And I am after this. I may have another very large role.
Alright, well before that, we've got to go do our Patreon-only livestream that we do every month to say hi to our many patrons. We're very grateful to all of you. You can join them at patreon.com slash Dear Hank and John. But regardless of whether you're a patron, thank you so much for listening.
This podcast is edited by Ben Swartout. It's mixed by Joseph Tuna-Medich. Our marketing specialist is Brooke Shotwell. It's produced by Rosie-On-Hall's Rojas and Hannah West.