421: Sonic’s Butt Game

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Yours I prefer to think of it dear John and Hank. It's a podcast where two brothers answer your questions give you to be surprising while the week's news from both Mars and AFC Wimbledon. John. What kind of tea is the hardest to fit into a cup?

I don't know Hank. What kind of tea is the hardest to fit into a cup? Manatee. Actually am I right over there?

Can you grab it for me? No. Oh come on it's right there. You go get it.

It's so... you're closer. I'm six inches closer. You're in the way.

I can't. I'd have to go around. We're in the same place at the same time. Hank wants his tea.

He's gonna get up and get up and get my tea. Okay he's gonna put down his microphone. This is the kind of hydrometer that people come to Dear Hank and John for. They're sort of thrilling audio based content that people love.

I'll tell you what, little ASMR. Nice tea. Yeah good for you. I almost tried to figure out a microphone John.

So that reminds me of the time that I ate a memory card. I think it was a pretzel chip and horror ensued and then I eventually had somebody who needed this to the contents of the card. Oh yeah I had already filmed my vlog for this video for the day and I ate my SD card and I had somebody come and say oh I can fix any broken SD card and they did like a CT scan of it and they were like I can't fix your SD card you bit right through it. I tried to figure out exactly what the problem was.

The answer to the problem was you really treated that like a chip. You got a hell of a bite on your green. You didn't have to ask that. I like John like a crunchy chip.

I do. I do have a crunch. Satisfying crunch. Now Hank we're in the same place at the same time which is unusual for Dear Hank and John.

Usually Hank is in Montana and I am in Indianapolis but I have come to Montana for the purposes of doing a bunch of work stuff. You know also Hank's channel has like a video. Okay but we usually release the video on Patreon. This will be a special special one.

Yeah. Okay do we have anything to advertise if we're going to be getting all these new watchers and listeners. Wine is over. Wine is over.

Icedy is the way. Icedy is the future. You make your own special Icedy. Catherine just closed our door.

Icedy is the future and you can get it at Keats and Co. Keats and Co. Go to Dot Store. Go to Dot Store.

Go to Dot Store and not only can you get Icedy but starting now you can also get underwear. True. Now Hank correct me if I'm wrong but doesn't everyone go to their local underwear company and think God I wish this place had tea and go to their local tea company and think God I wish this place had underwear. I had a billionaire say this to me and they were like there's no way you can do this.

Who would trust their tea people with their socks and I was like I don't care man I think you don't see the vision and you didn't see the vision or she but the truth is you can trust both our underwear and our socks and our coffee and our tea because Hank and I aren't and our soap and our eco-friendly cleaning supplies and our eco-friendly cleaning supplies because Hank and I are not paid to say any of this because all the profit goes to charity. Good Dot Store it's really is a better way to buy stuff you need anyway from underwear to cleaning supplies. What were we thinking? That's what I like to what were we thinking?

Yeah I was like getting it all away. Crazy Johnny with his crazy warehouse. Our prices are so low that we gave away all the profit. Our prices are reasonable but our profit goes to better places like tuberculosis care and preventing maternal mortality and stuff like that.

The prices are crazy to me we price based on margin and like thing to thing. I'm like oh well some things are cheap and some things are expensive because that's how they actually should be. Coffee is just really hard. Yeah coffee should cost about 95 cents per cup and that's what ours costs and if you get it for less than that you don't want to know the labor conditions that were involved in its farming.

So that's part of what's going on. I like to have you here in my office this is nice. It's a beautiful office. It's very visually stimulating.

There's no shortage of visual stimulus in your office. I have a thought. Yeah if I can make it so that I can see everything. Right.

Never lose anything. Yeah and that was wrong. Yeah I lose things all the time. I do prefer for things to be out though.

This is something that my wife and I have a fundamental disagreement about. I would prefer that the cabinets because as you know I don't see anything in my mind when I close my eyes I have the aphantasia and this extends because I have a pretty severe version of this. It extends to not having any kind of map in my head not just being able to know directions or like like today I got lost getting to your house even though I've been to your house a million times and I don't know what's behind the kitchen cabinets. This drives Sarah crazy.

She's like we live in the same house for 15 years. The cabinets have not changed the wine glasses or where the wine glasses always were and my position is who knows what's behind a cabinet that you can't see behind. Okay that's great. That is wild.

I once saw a comment on an Instagram reel that was about a related phenomenon and it said oh didn't you know men don't see with their eyes. They see with their hearts. I don't know what I see with. If you always like how do you write books with this with this affliction and I'm like it's not an affliction.

It's the only way I've ever been and I'm also not convinced that you actually see things in your mind when you close your eyes. But I am impressed by everybody else's ability to like get around and like know what's behind closed doors. But I don't have any closed things in here. Yeah which I really like because from my perspective it's almost more terrifying to know that there's so many items that you have there behind a closed door.

Yeah I actually want to put more shelves in here but there is one closed door over there. That would be difficult and that has the router and stuff in it. So open and wires just pile out which I love having that behind a closed door. Yeah that is a little stressful but there is a lot of visual information in here but it's not an unpleasant experience.

However this is an audio based podcast so I don't know why people are seeing it. I don't know why we've gone quite so video centric for our podcast. Can I you said that you you have this thing a vantasia but it's the only way you've ever been. What I say people ask me like hanker you do have ADD ADHD yeah and I say I don't know what I have but whatever it is I like it.

That's what I've gone with but it turns out you do have ADHD. I recently found my assessment from when I was a child where I was diagnosed with ADD or whatever it was called back then in 1998 I think 1988 and and and mom and dad were just like yeah that's fine we've got bigger problems. You didn't have bigger problems because you had the sensory integration disorder. Yeah I had all kinds of learning to sit this on the morning challenges.

Yeah but the point is you are where you are and you're doing great and we're proud of you and you're now going to answer this question from Zach who writes Dear Hank and John and Hank Dear John and Hank is it easier to push or pull? Oh it's precisely your Zach now do not tell me the scientific answer to this I'm not interested in your science. Well there is a scientific answer to it. Well there's a it's like an engineering answer to it.

Okay my scientific answer is that it's easier to pull. That's right. My heart answer is that this this like answer pretends that all the human muscles are the same everywhere. That is true.

Yeah so you are exerting less force when you pull. Exactly it's easier to pull but that what if you have tiny little back muscles and huge pecs? Yeah well it's really that it might be easier to push. I think that it's largely that it is the legs that you want to have involved.

So the legs did you I don't know off the top of my head this step but somebody once asked me if you had to eat a part of the body to survive for a long time what would it be? The butt. It would be a leg. Not the butt.

Well the butt as you might have heard. Oh my god do not give me butt his legs in this context. Yeah but regardless that area so like the quads this is the far by far the most calories of the body are in the legs. Sure.

And that's because those are the by far the strongest muscles in the body and also there's a lot of fat storage down there. Sure. Okay. Those are the big muscles you want to be using those and oftentimes when you imagine pulling you're imagining just sort of like leaning back and pulling with your arms.

But you're actually pulling a lot with your legs. But when you're pushing you usually are pushing all with your legs. So what you have to do is pull by turning your whole body around so that like if you're if I'm pulling you. Oh you pull like the way those strong men pull semi trucks.

Yeah that's how you pull. Semi trucks. Semi trucks. Semi trucks.

Semi trucks. There's a lot of words for that thing. An 18 wheeler. Tractor trailers.

A big rig. A Randy Jackson. I've never heard that one but I believe you. A lorry is what they call it in the United Kingdom.

Yes. In America they call it a Larry Whittaker. A stoopsie. They call it a highway big man.

All right. I think we're good there Hank. The point is that when you're a strong person and you're pulling a semi truck or an 18 wheeler or a big rig or a stoopsie. You are you're pulling but you're pulling in the opposite direction.

You're pulling with your legs. Would you often not doing when you're pulling although I guess you're still pulling with your leg. The point being pulling is easier. Yeah.

There's something physically that we're like if you're turned around but like this. Yeah. That kind of pushing is like it's different. It's yeah.

Also doesn't it a little bit depend on the object. I think that it does. Like I think that a semi might not matter that much but I know that there's like I did this physics. Like literally I did a physics problem in high school or college.

It was like is it more efficient to pull or push a lawnmower and it was way more efficient to pull it but you don't pull on mowers because if you fall forward it goes on top of the lower part of your body. It's going to get you. Yeah. Reminds me of that horrifying and lovely poem by Philip Larkin about the hedge hedgehog.

Groundhog. I don't remember what kind of animal it is. You want me to read it to you? Not usually but one ever knows.

I have a fantasia for poetry. Once people start talking weird I can't hear them anymore. I'm not going to talk weird. I'm going to read it to you.

I'm going to read it to you the way that I would read it to you if it were a paragraph so that you don't have the advantage of poetry. That works. And by the way it's so hard to do with poems. Immediately you drop into not you but one drops into poetry cadence.

If you're not moved by this poem I don't know what I can do for you. The mower stalled twice. Kneeling I found it immediately went into the poetry voice. All right I'll try it without the poetry voice and see if that helps.

The mower stalled twice. Kneeling I found a hedgehog jammed up against the blades killed. It had been in a long grass. I'd seen it before and even fed it once.

Now I had mauled its unobtrusive world unmenably. Beryl was no help. I liked it. I liked it.

It's not over. Next morning I got up and it did not. The first day after a death the new absence is always the same. We should be careful of each other.

We should be kind while there is still time. I think that there's something wrong with my brain. Yeah I mean if you're not moved by we should be careful of each other. We should be kind while there is still time.

I don't know what to tell you. Can you unlock your phone? Can I try and read it? Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah this is gold.

People are going to love this. I just like the poetry voice. I don't know how to not do it in the poetry voice but try. The mower stalled twice kneeling down.

Well I want to add words because this is how people talk. The mower stalled twice. Kneeling I found a hedgehog jammed up against the blades killed. It had been in the long grass.

I'd seen it before. Even fed at once. Now I had mauled it's an obtrusive world on Mindeblea. Beryl was no help.

Next morning I got up and it did not. Did not what? Get up buddy. It's dead.

It's dead. Dead hedgehog. That's how this person would say this. Next morning I got up and it did not.

The first day after a death the absence is always the same. We should be careful of each other. We should be kind while there's still time. I don't know.

I just like. My way was better. That's not the people vote. But not for a brain that can't hear when people start talking weird.

Like I think I had to do so much work. Well okay learn how communication works. I hear you and I believe you. Like you believe me that I have a fantasia.

Even though I struggle to imagine what that would be like. I also struggle. But let me tell you that you already do this very well and you do it with songs. Yeah I don't know.

I'm sure if I spend a lot of time with poetry. Yeah that's what I think. Yeah. Absolutely.

I don't think it's like a fundamental way that I'm broken. But like I have it with comic books too. I can't read comic books well. Really?

Because they're not set up the way that I read. We're in time to do stories. Yeah. It's just like a big leap to try and start understanding a new medium.

My only point is that we should be careful of each other and we should be kind while there is still time. Yeah. Yeah. Especially in the long grass.

Especially in the long grass. Let me tell you we are in the long grass. All right this next question comes from Doozy who asks hi from Melbourne Australia. My name is Doozy.

Rhymes with bluesy bandicoots are bilby's or bilby's are bandicoots question markets. Very confusing and unclear. They are endangered in Australia and super cute. Now I think if you had told me that a bandicoot is an actual animal.

I would have bet my life savings against you. I think I knew that. But I didn't know about bilby's. Bilby's also.

I would have bet it against. Anyway Doozy says they're super cute and so it would be great for you to promote them and talk about them. Thank you Doozy. I'm happy to promote them and talk about them.

I just don't know what they are. I also don't. I know what Crash Bandicoot is. Is that a bandicoot?

Yeah. That's what he's named after. Are they orange? Let's find out.

What's a bilby? That's not that looks like a money. Well it's not because I'm sure that it convergently evolves to a bunny and it is in fact a marsupial because it's from because it's from Oceania and then a bandicoot. It appears to be the same thing.

Yeah. It's a little different. They both have huge ears. Doesn't look like Crash Bandicoot.

Crash Bandicoot looks like Crash Bandicoot looks almost nothing like the bandicoots that I've been exposed to in 30 seconds. Yeah. I'm looking at bandicoots and none of them have jeans. None of them are in jeans, none of them are in shoes.

And does Crash Bandicoot have gloves on? I guess that's how he goes fast. Yeah. That's what helps him go drive in gloves.

Can you remind me of Crash Bandicoot a good guy or a bad guy? Good guy. I'm not entirely sure actually. Like when I think about what actually happens in the game.

Yeah. I don't know if he's like trying to make a good outcome occur or is he like the Luigi to Sonic's Mario? No. I think he is his own.

I think that I think that people saw Sonic and they were like I don't we don't have Sonic. We need to make Crash Bandicoot. Oh Crash Bandicoot is like the Sonic for Sega. Yeah.

He's like oh we have Sonic at home. Oh he's like the Kirkland brand. He's the John Green to Hank Green. Yeah.

If you will. Well yeah. I was like somebody I think Sega had had Sonic. Sega had Sonic.

But I don't know if for sure. That's just like the vibe I get. Because it feels like he camped after. History of Crash Bandicoot.

Okay. I know Sega. Sega wins. That's good.

That's confusing for me. Now can you search for Sonic? They took inspiration from other games such as Donkey Kong Country, Mario and Sonic. Not only that they jokingly codenamed it, Sonic's ass game.

It's a direct quote from Wikipedia. I'll remind you it's not cursing if you're referring to Wikipedia. What does that mean? It's Sonic's ass game, Hank.

What's you know. Crash Bandicoot is like Sonic but an ass. But he's not an ass. He's a bilby as we just established.

In fact right there in the name is Bandicoot. It's true. Wait is Sonic is wait is Crash Bandicoot? In fact a Bandicoot.

We should answer that question next or is that just his name. The way some people are named Rabbit. Yes. Crash Bandicoot is a Bandicoot.

Specifically he has depicted as a genetically enhanced anthropomorphic Eastern bard Bandicoot in the video game of his same name. His ears look nothing like the adorable Bandicoot. He was genetically engineered. But he was genetically engineered to make his ears less cute.

Yeah no so that he could be more powerful. Sometimes cuteness is a commitment. It can be a drawback. It can be a drawback.

Is this what the Australian wanted us to promote is Crash Bandicoot? I think the Australian wanted us to promote the actual endangered animals which we are promoting while also saying that Crash Bandicoot is not doing a good job in our opinion of depicting a Bandicoot. And is in fact mostly Sonic's ass game. Right.

But Sonic's ass game continues. There was just a Crash Bandicoot property released in 2023. Do you think Sonic's ass game is a better title for an album or a song? Sonic's ass game to me I'll be honest with you.

I'm having a hard time parsing it in a way that isn't about. I hear you. How good Sonic is at that. Yeah.

Yeah. Like how well he fills out his jeans. That is how I parse it. Yeah.

Sorry for all our five year old listeners but I just don't know how to get around it. We're just putting it on a video. Sonic's butt game. He's got good butt game.

It could be a donkey thing. It could be a donkey thing. He could be playing Pin the Tail on the Donkey. Sonic's Donkey game.

Yeah. That's an ass game. That's an ass game. In fact I would argue the single most famous ass game.

He's been the tail on the donkey. I couldn't come up with another one. No. I guess Donkey writing like Donkey racing is Donkey Kong.

Donkey Kong. But he's not an ass. He's just named Donkey Kong. Dude I just realized that Donkey Kong is not a donkey.

He's a monkey. Oh yeah. That's like Crash Bandicoot not being a bandicoot. It's like Sonic the Hedgehog being a bandicoot or Sonic the Hedgehog indeed being a monkey.

Was Sonic the Hedgehog genetically engineered to be like him? No. He came from space bro. Oh do you know this because he watched the movie?

Yeah. 17 times. He came from somewhere. I'm not sure if it's space but I think it is.

Right. Yeah. You haven't seen the movie? No.

But that would I mean I'm excited to have the Fermi Paradox well and truly solved by the Sonic the Hedgehog. You know Jim Carrey said that he was retiring from acting unless there was an extraordinary role that came along and then immediately after that took the role of the bad guy in Sonic the Hedgehog 3. You know I think by extraordinary he meant real fun or lucrative. I don't know how extraordinary it could be literally.

Maybe. I bet that I bet that role is really fun. That's the thing. I wonder how fun it all is.

Especially once you're good at it. You know what you're doing? That's what I've been writing an awful about for the last several years. What?

Whether or not acting in Hollywood and being a movie star is fun. Oh. Or whether in fact it is a trap from which it is difficult to escape. Yeah.

Anyway, that's probably also an important question for us to ask for other reasons. No joke. This question is from McKenna who asks hello Hank and John. My name is McKenna and I had cancer three years ago, leukemia.

I made it out fine. But my mental worldview shifted dramatically. I grew up going to Protestant Christian churches and consider myself to have faith in the Bible. My hospitals stay drastically changed me into an atheist.

Or if I do believe in God, I don't like the guy very much. Believing in humanity is hard and I've had a hard time coping with that transition. Any advice? I think we should turn to the cancer survivor on this one.

I guess. But I haven't had any crises of faith in my life. That's true. I have.

So you answer from the cancer survivor perspective and I'll answer from the constant crisis of faith perspective. Sure. I mean, one thing about that is that is changing about cancer is that it's usually not always but usually you come out with a bunch of friends from that community and those people don't all make it. And that was the case for me.

That for me isn't that hard to sort of place into the history of humanity. Right. Or you know, sort of like my understanding of how physics and biology and chemistry work. I honestly feel in terms of humanity, I don't feel like I lost any appreciation for humanity because I saw a lot of humanity.

I saw a lot of humanity and the people who love me and the people who love the my friends who died. I saw a lot of humanity in the healthcare system that obviously can be inhumane. But like in terms of the actual people in it or just a bunch of people trying to do their best given the systems that we have. And I learned a lot about sort of myself and what I wanted and was a bit surprised and honestly, please, please to find that I wasn't worried about like missing the future.

I wasn't worried about lost income, though I of course had the privilege of not having to worry about that too much in terms of like practical considerations. I was just worried about like not being there for the people who I love and what they would carry forward if I wasn't here. And so that made me like kind of feel good about myself. And it was like lessons that I feel like I don't want to lose a hold of.

I think part of what a lot of people struggle with in the wake of life threatening illness and I've had little glimpses of this. I recovered from a pretty serious somewhat life threatening bout of meningitis for instance. But I haven't had the kind of glimpse of it that you've had or McKenna's had. But I think a lot of what people struggle with is on the other side of that, like a lot of your preconceived notions are challenged.

Now, a lot of your preconceived notions weren't challenged, which is interesting. But I think McKenna's were, you know, especially if you grow up hearing everything happens for a reason or you grow up hearing like God has some kind of master plan for us. And then you see up close that that master plan, if it exists as McKenna says, is the kind of thing that where I don't like the guy very much. I don't love the master plan.

Yeah, I mean, could we have a just like a like you're pretty clever guy up there. Yeah, could you have a better master plan? Yeah. Or indeed, like if the master plan is so far beyond my understanding, why was I given this ability to grieve so deeply and hurt so much?

Yeah, which we don't need to have. We don't. Well, I mean, we may, we may in order to. Well, we don't be ourselves, but maybe, but almost all that in my experience, almost all the lessons I learned from my friends dying or from serious illness or whatever are lessons that I could have learned elsewhere, cheap more cheaply that I didn't have in my opinion anyway.

But part of what's happening from McKenna maybe is when they say I have a hard time believing in humanity is that they are struggling to see what you have seen, which is that people are capable of astonishing sacrifice and compassion and kindness and generosity. And instead is seeing a lot of what is also true of humanity, right, which is that humanity is monstrous and a catastrophe. And how do you hold those competing ideas in your mind at the same time? I don't have an easy answer for that.

But I think you have to. Yeah, I also like I don't I just do, you know, yeah, you are able to, but a lot of us struggle to. We want a simple straightforward answer to is humanity good or bad is humanity good news or bad news is humanity a gift or a curse like what is consciousness itself, something to be reveled in or something to be despised. You have a hard one with that.

Like, here's here's a thing. Yeah. I because I'm I'm like sort of it and also outside of it. I feel very strongly that life is a good thing.

And so obviously, like I'm part of life, but also there is a way in which humans are sort of, you know, not just biological, but also cultural and technological. And so when I'm like, from that perspective, I'm like, boy, it's good that life exists, but but there is no suffering in a world without life. Yeah. So so the fact that the only world without suffering is a world without life.

No suffering on Mars. To completely destroy all suffering. We could just imagine a world with no living things and it would contain no suffering and would that be a better world? And I have, I don't have like a philosophical reason why, but I just believe that it is better to have life.

Yeah. And so in the same way, I believe that it is better to have culture and it is better to better to have consciousness. But it's but it's hard to make sense of some of the ways that humans hurt each other. Oh, yeah.

And and and I don't think that ignoring or minimizing or diminishing the horrors we visit upon each other is the right solution. Right. I and I think that I do think that there is space for curiosity about that. Yeah.

Just sort of like a first instinct that one has when it comes to horrors and there's space for eventual compassion, if not forgiveness, where there's just like a you know, not like a requirement, but it is a thing that can happen and can be positive. Right. But I understand having a hard time having faith in humanity. And part of how I'm able to have faith in humanity is to believe that, you know, I'm walking alongside forces of love that are greater than myself.

Right. And that's part of how I do it. Hank does it a different way. The last thing I'll say about a mechanic is that you're on a journey of meaning to quote the great Hank Green.

You are that you but okay. Well, you'd go with even greater John Green than that. But you are your on a journey of meaning that lasts a lifetime. Like that's what it that's that's what we do here is we try to make things easier for each other and try to understand as best as we can.

This next question comes from she or who asks dear Mr. and Mr. Greens, who is your favorite stand up comedian or your favorite stand up comedian is that our mostly family friendly. Thanks for your dobeocity she or I enjoy Pete Holmes.

He's mostly family. I think I'm actually not positive. I think the vibe wise. Yeah.

Yeah. He might curse now and again. Yeah. But vibe wise, he's family friendly.

And I find him very funny. He's very funny. He's also he sends up some of my other favorite comedians like Mike Briglia, who was also my friend. He sends up Mike Briglia in ways that are like simultaneously like generous and knowing.

There's something about that. I've seen that clip. My son my son calls this bullying but he's wrong. He's 15 now and he calls he refers to like when he and his friends bully each other but he means it in a kind way.

They spar. They spar. There's something about being knowingly and lovingly made fun of that is better than being knowingly and lovingly complimented. I mean, I think that it goes down to individual people.

I know people who do not like this kind of communication. I do. Yeah. Me too.

I love being teased. If it's from someone I truly love in a way that truly knows me. And it's very, it's hard to do well. Yeah.

Someone does it well. It's like, oh, because you know me. You know how to hit me in that spot. That's like strengthening that spot instead of weakening it.

I remember once I asked my friend morning Johnson if my eye looked weird. I said, does my eye look weird? And she said, I think we found the name of your memoir. But it reminds me that this podcast is brought to you by does my eye look weird?

The new memoir from John Green. Oh, yes. Today's podcast is also of course brought to you by Crash Bandicoot Crash Bandicoot. This is really the only podcast where you can get a little bit of post-cancer, life-mouling and Crash Bandicoot content in the same 60 seconds.

This podcast is also brought to you by the human leg, the human leg, the most calorie dense part of the body. And today's podcast is brought to you by the long grass. The long grass. How do we get out of it?

We're here. We're in the long grass because we're in the long grass. That's right. This episode of Dear Hank and John is brought to you by Shopify.

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You're not wondering whether the payment system is going to work. You're not wondering whether customers can get through the process. Shopify handles that foundation so you can focus on the thing that you're actually trying to do. It's really kind of amazing to me that Shopify is a tool that works from the first day your store launches when you're just starting to get customers all the way up to being the size of good.store or dftba.com or being the size of like Mattel and Gymshark.

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I'm not exaggerating if people have written in to say that they also celebrate beef days. So if we find ourselves at the end of our lives in front of St. Peter's gate and he lets us in, just know beef days was part of it. Beef days was part of it.

Now I'm not going to get into heaven. In this hypothetical world where St. Peter exists and you go up to the gates, everyone knows that I'm going to get up there and immediately St. Peter's going to stare me dead in the eyes and say I think we both know and I'm going to say yes indeed I know and he's going to say it was the liqueurois.

Yeah. I mean it's a whole household problem. It seems to me having had your children in my home. My children love liqueurois.

They're also not going to go to heaven because of the liqueurois. They're going to be like you know you even though you quote unquote recycled all this aluminum. The aluminum came from somewhere buddy and you knew there is a solution to this problem. You're going to say a soda stream but I love my liqueurois.

No there's a solution to this problem that has not yet been invented. Which is whatever soda carbinator does as good a job as liqueurois. Liqueurois on tap. Liqueurois, a keg of liqueurois.

Oh you're speaking my language. I mean why not? This midwesterner just got a shiver that went all through his body. You got to go to like a like a dram shop and just bring your growlers to put up with liqueurois.

That sounds so good to me. I mean I've always thought that there must be a way to make liqueurois at home. It's not complicated. But what are you what's your concern?

Why is it not as good to have a home because you have a home carbinator. I do and I use it sometimes which is not as good as a liqueurois. Is it the flavor or is it the bubble? It's both the flavor and the bubble.

It has worse bubbles. The best tweet of all time was when somebody sent a liqueurois flavor is like you're drinking a plain soda water in somebody in the next room. Shout. Great fruit.

Yeah that's the exact amount of fruit I want and that's the exact amount of fruit they give me. Yeah I just had one of your spend spend drifts. Yeah whatever it's called. Spend to spend to drift is a great actual modification of this name because you spend.

You do. It ain't free. And it's like instead of having an artificial whatever liqueurois has they have actual fruit juice. It's terrible.

I'm not interested in it at all. I love them. They're so good. So good.

It's like on the package it's like this part. Every one of these contains 17 cherries. All right we got one last question before we get to the old news from Mars and AC Wimbledon. It comes from Rihanna who asks Dear Hank and John trying to get my five year old to sleep the other night.

I somehow wound up explaining to her how eventually there will come a time when there won't be any people left alive on Earth. Oh this really helps five year olds go to sleep in my experience. But that Earth will probably still be here. Yeah.

I was of course having feelings of extreme panic inside of saying this out loud. I think I did a pretty good job of keeping it together not letting the dread show. Anyway my five year old didn't seem panicked because she got excited and asked when that happens. Will dinosaurs evolve again?

Well will they Hank? That's not about hypothesis. Yeah I look we don't what I can say for sure is that the Earth has a while. Yeah.

And also so so in both ways there's less time than you think. Right. For the Earth. Because they're only says all the sun's gonna explode in five billion years.

Right. But in a billion years the sun's gonna be so hot that it's gonna bake off the oceans. Which is gonna be a real problem. So that's because we all remind you we're mostly a water planet and we're mostly water like we're just fish on land.

We're just fish on land and so boiling oceans will be a big issue for us. Yeah. Lack of fresh water will be a big issue for us. Right.

So we've got we've got about a billion years which is important to note because that means we're in the second half of life on Earth. Oh yeah. But we are not in the second half of complex multi-cellular life. Right.

So so for so much of the Earth. Yeah. It was just single celled organisms were really simple multi-cellular organisms. Right.

As far as like vertebrates go we are we are probably at about the halfway point. Wow. Which is really interesting. And not at all how I had been pitched to the situation.

No. No. If you think about vertebrates we're 50% in. Yeah.

To life being manageable. Now that tells me I think vertebrates are gonna be super sticky for lack of a better term. I think vertebrates are gonna hang around as long as possible. Yeah.

Do I have a ton of confidence in humanity being there at the end of the vertebrate age? I do not. Right. But I think that it is both it is possible that very sort of different looking vertebrates could evolve in the future.

It's gonna be very dependent on a lot of different things on level of heat and the sort of composition of the atmosphere etc. And I think it's entirely possible that another intelligent species could evolve if we totally obliterated ourselves that like you know primates could do it again or primates could do it. Yeah. Maybe I'd be really interested to see what the birds could get up to but they have like a problem with the wings.

Yeah. They don't count like do stuff with their wings except fly. Flying birds have had a long long time to get smart. Yeah.

And they haven't gotten all the way there. Yeah. They've got interesting. They've got really interesting pretty smart but they haven't gotten all the way there.

Yeah. I worry that they will struggle to get all the way there. I think primates have a really good chance. I think sometimes we underestimate the chance that raccoons have.

Raccoons have a pretty hot chance actually because they've got the hands. They got hands. They got hands and they're already quite smart and also they have evolutionary pressure toward getting smarter. Do you think Jule wrote the song My Hands Are Small I Know but they're not mine.

They're not yours. They are my own about raccoons. Yeah. Definitely.

I think so too. I just want to watch on Instagram if you want to ask her. Don't. That's a weird first question.

She's always she's a I followed her back. She's a weird follow. Yeah. Yeah.

You just followed her back in the case you ever have occasion to DM Jule. Yes. Just to be like hey Jule it's me. Hey.

Oh, maybe she could be on anything from the internet. You want to crush on you when I was in high school. You want to be on my show? You're not weird.

Yeah. Yeah. It's not weird. For me it was Natalie and Brulia.

Really? Yeah. That was my big crush. I feel like I came on top of that one.

No, I don't know. They're both really talented people. Point being dinosaurs could evolve again in the sense. Here's how I think dinosaurs could evolve again and correct me if I'm wrong because I'm not a scientist and this is in science.

This is guesswork anyway. Yeah. But what if you sort of get smarter larger birds like ostriches that become less and less mobile and less and less feathered and have an evolutionary reason to get larger and larger. You're getting toward a dinosaur like thing again.

And we've seen conversion evolution like recreate things that we thought were gone. Yeah. I mean, I think the hard part would be the arms. So it's not really a T-Rex unless it's got arms with little claws on it.

But that has not never happened. There's a bird called the Watson when their babies they have a little claws on their elbows, which is weird. That they used to like climbing trees. So I guess in terms of intelligence, can I hit you with a weird idea?

Yeah, please. So birds can do a lot of manual dexterity. They don't use their forelimbs, of course. They use their feet.

But also they use their tongue. I think it's totally possible that they could end up with a tongue hand in the same way. A tongue hand. That giraffes kind of have like a nose hand.

Or I would argue many monkeys have a tail hand. They do have a tail hand. They do. They do.