43. The Psychology of Appeasement: What Dogs Teach Us About Connection

In this episode of the Connection Therapy Podcast, Dr. Brenda Murrow explores how understanding animal behavior—especially in dogs—can deepen our insight into human communication and relationships. Dr. Murrow reflects on her own experience learning French and how it made her more aware of cultural nuances in language—particularly terms of endearment. Something as simple as the word “sweetheart,” which might feel universal, actually varies widely depending on context and culture. This realization led her to consider how observing other species could offer a fresh perspective on human psychology. The episode centers on appeasement signals—subtle behaviors animals use to prevent conflict. Dr. Murrow highlights a 2017 study from the Journal of Veterinary Behavior that looked at how dogs use cues like looking away or licking their lips when interacting with humans. These actions aren’t random—they’re meaningful ways of communicating peaceful intent. Dr. Murrow encourages listeners to think about the nonverbal signals we use every day, from merging politely in traffic to softening our tone in conversation. By learning from animals, we can become more attuned to the subtle ways humans seek connection and avoid conflict—both in therapy and in daily life. The episode is a powerful reminder that communication goes beyond words, and sometimes the smallest signals say the most. www.connectiontherapypodcast.com Follow Brenda on Instagram @theconnectiontherapypodcast Reference: Firnkes, A., Bartels, A., Bidoli, E., & Erhard, M. (2017). Appeasement signals used by dogs during dog–human communication. Journal of Veterinary Behavior: Clinical Applications and Research, 19, 35–44. https://doi-org.pgi.idm.oclc.org/10.1016/j.jveb.2016.12.012