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Tickets go on sale to the general public June 30th at somethingworthknowing.com. So come build a better world with us on September 16th and experience something worth knowing you can get your ticket at Complexly.info slash something. You're listening to a Complexly podcast. Hello and welcome to Dear Hank and John.
I'm always happy to think of it, Dear John and Hank. It's a podcast where two brothers answer your questions, give you a advice and bring you all the weeks news from both Mars and AFC. One little bit, maybe not that last one because I don't think that I don't have any right now. Anyway, Catherine recently said to me, John, she was like, I think I want to have another kid.
Oh my God. I was real surprised. Yeah. I thought that ship had sailed for sure.
I said, I thought you like this one. That's pretty good joke. Okay. That's all right.
It's not true though, right? I mean, you're not having another kid. No, no, yes. Yes.
Yes. We that ship has indeed sailed. That would be a weird way to break the news to me. How is the siblings?
How do you find having siblings versus my situation where there's just one? It's great. It's lovely. They're lovely kids.
So I think I just did one of those like long form interviews that sometimes you do where the interviewer talked to me for 90 minutes and asked me a bunch of questions and then it's all going to come out as a podcast and like none of it will be cut and everything that I said will be hyper scrutinized. Is it like a big one? Is it like one that like one that like this page would go on? Nicholas Cage, I think would do it but hasn't been offered the opportunity.
That's how big it is. Okay. I think it's big enough that Nicholas Cage is like desperate to do it. He's like, Oh, man.
I hope someday I get to do this podcast. No, no, no, no. You're not bigger than Nicholas Cage. Okay.
We'll go offline real quick. I'll tell you what it is and then we'll come back. And we're back. Okay.
I get it. I get it. So it's not that you're bigger than Nicholas Cage. It was more sort of suited to your personal brand.
A little more suited to my brand. But it's a big it's a big issue. It was my point. Yeah.
And the time during the interview is fun. I mean, I'm highly anxious and like very much on guard and like definitely trying the only thought the only clear thought that I'm having is like, we, we, we, like that's my only real thought throughout the entire thing. You're familiar with this experience. But then yes, afterwards, after the end of the interview, that's when the crushing anxiety hits.
Because you think about all of the things you just said or didn't say yes. I think about all the things I just said. And then it's just like, boom, yeah, just smashing me in the chest. So that's where I'm at right now.
Can we just make things not matter? You know, could we just like, could we just could things, Matt, maybe look, I obviously things need to matter. But in the world, like the stakes in terms of me in terms of like just things people are saying, I wish I didn't care so much if people liked me. Yeah, no, that's really it.
I'm 48. Yeah. Why do I, why am I still in middle school? Yeah.
Yeah. And are the platforms optimized for it? Do the platform want us to feel this way so that we're always checking? One thing I think people don't understand about unless you're a real poster is the extent to which the labor comes after the creation.
So like you make a thing or you do an interview or you post a post and then it's like, then you're like, got a babysit that I did managing it. I got to manage it. I got like, see how like the feedback and I got to learn from it. Oh, Hank, I'm about to change your life with some great advice because it's even dubious.
That's why seven minutes after posting something, when it starts to feel like labor, I just delete it. I just deleted it and I got the kind of high of posting. I got the high of the initial response. And then the moment a person took it in the wrong context, I'm like, Oh, I'll just delete that.
I'll delete that. I always, I have this problem of thinking that if somebody interprets something differently than I meant it to be interpreted that that's my fault. I think that it is sometimes. Sometimes it is.
I kind of like truly, deeply actually believe it always is. Like I feel like if I was misinterpreted that I could have done better, this is a, but sometimes people just like willingly bad faith interpret you because like that's part of how you get internet points is by, and I do this too. Like I'm not accusing people of participating in some evil social internet that I'm immune to. I sometimes like present an argument in bad faith as a way of saying like, look at these idiots.
Yes, it is where the incentives drive. That's one of the reasons I've stopped posting online is because I can't resist the urge to do that. And so the only way to resist the urge is to kind of not start. Yeah, I someday I'll stop posting online.
I don't know, Hank. I think that might be the last thing you do. But first, before you stop posting online, which you'll never do, let's answer some questions from our listeners beginning with this one from Kaylee who writes Dear John and Hank, Red Green the dog, Blue Green the snake, who was responsible for these ridiculous pet names from your childhood. Are there any other color names you would like to reveal?
Kaylee, I cannot believe that we ever have talked about Blue Green. I can't believe we talked about Blue Green either. No, this moment, I forgot Blue Green. I feel bad because I don't think Blue Green was adequately loved in the world.
No, I think that Blue Green was re-released eventually. So I am almost positive that that is a story that we told you. Oh no, don't really let it for me. Yeah, I might have to ruin it for you.
Blue Green didn't come from the wild. Blue Green was not a pet story. Blue Green came from the wild, but Blue Green did not return to the wild. Blue Green died inside of that terrarium.
That's a shame. Yeah, well, I mean, I got even worse news for you, which is that we all go. That's that is what one might call a shame. So Blue Green was a garter snake who had a little stripe of blue, a beautiful strip of blue.
Yeah, so he had a stripe of blue and his last name was green because that's our last name. It's not our fault that our last name is color. Yeah. And so we named him Blue Green and then Red Green was a red dog and we named him Red Green because we got him at Christmas.
It's the perfect name. I don't apologize for either of these pet names. I still think they're hilarious. Yeah, I don't, but I have no idea who was responsible.
I don't know who named Red. I think you did. God, what a bad dog. I mean, we don't talk enough about what a bad dog Red Green was.
Yeah. He was, he was bad to the bone man. He was bad for 50. I know there's no bad dogs only bad owners, but we must have been bad owners.
I don't, I don't doubt that we were also. Look, I think that Red Green was not a bad dog. He was a bad pet. He was a great dog.
He was a bad family dog. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
He was a big one. He was like, I only got bit by that dog like four or five times. Yeah, he was violent. He wasn't as violent as some dogs, but he was violent.
He was a mini dog. He's very small. He could be that violent. He weighed eight pounds.
If he was a big dog, the number of times and the intensity with which he bit me would have been a huge problem. Exactly. Yeah. Yeah.
But he also, he was never house trained in a meaningful way. I remember what I got. I got a black light because I was like a cool high schooler trying to be and I was trying to be like a getting a black light poster up there and yeah, I'm in my own special way. That was a huge mistake.
Huge mistake. A huge mistake. Big error. Like I knew that I'd cleaned up some P, but I didn't know that I cleaned up P from every spot in the room.
Yeah. Yeah. Now he was a very petulant peer. Like he would wake you up and then jump down off the bed and stare at you and pee.
He was like a dominant spear. He was like, Hey, you know that thing that you hate? Watch it happen. Whereas blue green was a great gardener's neck.
No complaints. I think that was the only also probably not a great pet, but those were the only two pets we named after colors. I don't remember what we call their tennis. Chip and Dale were the chip and Dale the hamsters.
No, these were finches. The finches. I don't remember the finches. Yeah.
Well, there it is. What was the name of that other bird you had? Rico. Rico, the conure and we had Willie, the hamster.
We had a Willie. Who was Willie? Willie was a hamster. One odd Willie.
You don't remember Willie only have one eye because Willie disappeared. Willie had two eyes. Willie disappeared. We didn't know where he was.
Every night mom and dad would like put durable food under the headboard so that they would hear him come by and maybe they would wake up and the durable food would disappear, but then they wouldn't wake up. So they knew Willie was around. Willie was gone for weeks. Wow.
And then when Willie, when they finally like woke up as Willie was eating the dribble food, he had one eye. He went from two eyes to one eye and a mysterious accident. Yeah. And then it must be said he got killed by Red Green.
I read. Yeah. No, I mean, that's new war. Yeah.
No, I don't know that we ever let it slip. That Red Green was the reason that Willie died. Yeah. Do you want to know my other traumatic death story?
Yeah, please. So we got two goldfish at the fair. Never did this. Never did this.
Yeah. And we got two goldfish at the fair. One of them was one by Phil who I will not use his full name, but I know Phil. Close family friend Phil.
Yeah. And I think my parents did not want to get the goldfish, but Phil won the goldfish. And I wanted them. I think this is what happened.
And so they took the goldfish home. We did not have the best way of taking care of the goldfish. One of the goldfish started to get sick. So my parents were like, we need to change the water.
And they're changing the water over the sink. One of the goldfish slips out of the bowl and into the sink and goes down the drain. Mom looks at me and she says, I'm so sorry, Hank, that was the good one. Oh, I had a really metaphorically resonant story.
I mean, who among us has not lost the good one here and there? And like boy, do I remember that like I'm having an emotional response to it right now as a 45 year old man. I'm like, yeah, prickling and like very like, I mean, I guess I'm kind of thinking about or into like just the moments where yeah, crushing stuff happens to you as a kid. Well, here's the thing, Hank, that fish went where we are all going.
Yeah. Well, what did we say? The dust? Complicated dust, baby.
This next question comes from Lisa who writes, you're John and Hank, I'm getting married in five days and I feel as though I am on another plane of existence with the amount of stress I am feeling, I'm thrilled to marry the love of my life. Everything is packed and as ready as it can be for the weekend's festivities, but I am buzzing with energy, any tips on how to co-punkins and penguins, Lisa. Now, Hank, yes, let's drop some more lore. Yeah, you want to tell everybody what you did for me?
I don't remember, I didn't do anything for you. I just like hung out with you. Correct. So first off, when I got married, like, I, I was at a very high level of stress, but I'm frequently at a very, you know, that stress, right?
So like, it wasn't, it wasn't new for me to be like at the, at the limit, you know, like, if the stress starts in your toes, I was at my eyebrows, but like that's nothing new for me. I've been there before. I found the day of getting married, so stressful that it was kind of difficult to enjoy it for me. Fortunately, it turns out that that's like the first day of like a 6,000 day marriage and like the other 6,000 days have been great, not universally, but pretty, pretty good as things go.
And so you got to remember that, you got to remember this is not like the marriage, this is the wedding. And then the marriage is going to be a whole different thing that's actually much more important than the wedding and much more interesting and much more fulfilling and all that. But on your wedding day, as I recall, we were at a brunch on your wedding day, and mom was like, can you go find Hank? And I was like, sure, and so I looked around for you and then eventually I made my way to the bathroom because that's where you tend to hang out.
And if one's not in the brunch, one's probably hiding in the bathroom. Yeah, you were in the bathroom and you were like, not doing too good. No, I had overestimated my need for quiche. Yeah, that was part of it.
I mean, I wouldn't say that was the primary issue. Given my mental state, I had overestimated my need for quiche. My current need for quiche was below zero. And I had had maybe a spoonful, and that had really pushed me over the edge.
I was feeling real, like the anxiety had turned into a physical. It was physical. My blood pressure was not where it would should be. And I was feeling like you were having a physical reaction to anxiety, which is not uncommon, right?
But it was uncommon for you. Yeah, no, it's not. And so look, it's only having like six times in my life. When you're experiencing something you've never experienced before, I haven't experienced in a long time, it's stressful on its own.
And then there's the fact that like the stress, you know, becomes a vicious cycle because the stress nothing is getting worse and worse. So anyway, we went, I was like, screw everything. We're getting out of this joint. We're not going to hang out at this breakfast place.
We're going to get Hank home and we're going to play Tony Hawk Pro Skater too. That's exactly what I remember. And you know, there's an extension of this story that I have also talked about, which is that I biked to that brunch venue. You chose me home.
And then I got married and a bunch of other things happened. And then I woke up one day to go bike somewhere, and I was like, my bike got stolen. And then four months later, I found my bike parked outside of the brunch venue. I just walked by it.
And I was like, that's my back. Yeah, there's nothing like falsely accusing the world of stealing your bike only to find out that was not in fact stolen. Yeah, that's that's a good one. Yeah, I'll tell you what, Tony Hawk Pro Skater 2 is the exact right thing.
And that's probably not gonna be the exact right thing for you. But it was for me because like, I know how to play Tony Hawk Pro Skater 2. I know that I enjoy it. And so like, maybe that's like, start check the next generation for you, which it also is for me.
Or maybe it's like an album that you have like a deep relationship with that you can like hear a lot of and experience a lot of inside of or maybe it's a friend or maybe like it could be a lot of different things. But like, if everything's done, and the only thing left to do is worry, and the worry is not producing anything except for unpleasantness, that's the best and purest use of the tremendous opportunities for distraction that our society has developed for us. Right, that's true. There was no Instagram or TikTok back in 2006 when you got married.
Yeah, I don't know. There's something much like, I actually don't think that TikTok or Instagram would be a good one. No, it wouldn't calm me down. Because it gives you so much, you know?
It's too much sensory input. And like, you don't know if like the next one's gonna make you worried or not, you know? Yeah, that's why I had to get off of TikTok when I was sick, was because it would give me like triggers. And I would never know when one was coming for like, you know, sickness.
Well, we wish you lots of luck. But remember that the wedding is one thing and the marriage is another and the marriage is going to be the most interesting and important thing. The last thing I'll say about this, Hank, is that on my wedding day, the most enjoyable part was walking out of the church. Yeah.
Yeah. I don't know. Once it all started, I was like really good. Yeah, you did great once it started.
And you had you seem like you had fun that day. I did. I liked a lot of the parts of it. I mean, I like basically all of the parts of it.
My least favorite part was how hungry I was during the part where you have to like go around to all the tables and say hi to everybody. And I was like, man, I should have had a hot dog. I was hungry. I was also thirsty for beer and no one would get me a beer.
And I was like, I thought this was my special day. I should have as many beers as I would like. Oh man, like a my wedding. I won't name any names, but certain family members that never had a real Montana beer before.
Yeah. So they thought they were having one beer at a time and really they were having like two and a half. Yeah, we, I mean, listen, Hank, we've got a family that knows how to party. So I don't think it was just that they were drinking more than they thought they were drinking.
I think that they were drinking exactly as much. Yeah. Like a scale could be a real surprise when you hit like a 70%. All right.
I'm going to ask you a question about snot, Hank. All right. I love that from Mackenzie dear John and Hank as someone who grew up with severe allergies and lots of colds. I've always wondered about snot.
What is it? Why are there so many different textures? Is it the same as flam? Do you spit it out?
Why can it be different colors? Most importantly, how is there so much of it? Thanks for considering my booger question, not Hazel Grace, Mackenzie Grace. It's not maybe one of the like coolest proteins.
And also, I had a video script I was working on about this years ago, and I abandoned it, but I should revive it about how about the largest molecule in your body is probably a single molecule of mucus that runs from your sinuses to your rectum. Oh my. Because when a single like protein of of a mucin, which is a mucus protein is produced, it cross links with other molecules, other mucins that have been produced. So one mucin will join up with another one and they'll cross link together.
And they have these like really weak cross links. They don't have very many from one to the other, but they are cross linked. And that makes them into these big wiggly molecules that have very sort of like weak bonds between each other, but they are bonds. And they're not just hydrogen bonds.
I think that they are in fact covalent bonds. This is the track that I was going down in I abandoned videos. So like I'm saying things that I'm like 90% sure of right now. And they're also like really, they like water.
So like water gloms onto them. So the vast majority of the mass of snot is water, but it is bound together by these long filamentous mucin cross link structures that hold all that water in like a gel. And like the reason you can produce so much snot is because your body produces a little bit of these proteins and the proteins suck water into them. And then and so it's mostly the water from your body that is that is creating that.
So you can create a lot of snot because there's just like you can create a lot of spit. Like it's just a lot of water from your body. And they're produced by, you know, all the like like molecules on the surface of your mucus membranes that like shoot those mucins out. Now do you know why some people's nose is just sort of drip all winter, but not all summer?
I don't actually know I don't say that for my I'll say that for my ask kink anything episode. Great. John's gonna be on asking anything everybody. I am gonna be on asking anything.
I've been thinking about what questions I want to ask you. And I don't think I really want to ask you many scientific questions. I want to ask you a lot of questions about your relationship with your brother. Oh hell yeah.
Yeah, I think that'll be fun. You just kicks ass by the way. It's so great. Yeah, we love it.
It does a lot of good stuff. Anything that gets into your body that's like not supposed to be there, it just like sticks into this gel and it doesn't get into your body. And then you when you like, you know, spit it out or it comes out in various ways, all that stuff comes out to and isn't messing with you anymore. Which reminds me that today's podcast is actually brought to you by mucus mucus.
It's underrated. It's underrated. This podcast is also brought to you by One Eyed Willy. One Rest in Peace.
God's Feed, Sir. Today's podcast is additionally brought to you by Red Green, Red Green, the murderer of One Eyed Willy. We shouldn't have let him vote sponsor the same episode, John. That's really dark.
I know. I guess I know what it's real. Yeah. And when you buy an ad with us, we read the ad regardless.
This podcast is also brought to you by Cold Smokes Gotchail. Cold Smokes Gotchail from Kettle House Brewing, the downfall of many a cousin. Yeah, you're getting close to identifying them by identifying them as cousins. There's a lot of cousins.
It's only like 19 of them. This episode of Your Hank and John is brought to you by Shopify. There are a lot of things that stand between I Have An Idea. And this is an idea that actually exists in the world and people are buying things from me.
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Alright Hank, let's answer this question from Samantha who writes deer John and Hank. My boyfriend and I live in a pond that is home to many different kinds of wildlife including- Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, you live in a pond? In front of a pond. That makes me hurt.
I was like, is a frog asking the question? I didn't know they were monogamous. I knew they could write into our email but I didn't know they were boyfriends. I thought they were all poly.
I thought they were all poly. I thought they were all poly. Wobbs. I knew you were going to do that.
Dang it. I hate that. My boyfriend and I live in front of a pond that is home to many different kinds of wildlife including turtles in the middle of the pond. There is a log sticking out of the water at about a 20 degree angle which is just perfect for turtles.
You couldn't even bring any better Samantha. Perfect turtle log that the turtles will often climb on to. No joke, they will. It's the happiest turtles in the world.
Turtles can only climb on one at a time due to the angle and have to move up the log in order to make room for more turtles. So here's my question. What is the turtle etiquette when it comes to climbing onto the log? Does the first turtle climb straight to the top because they know they're more coming?
Do they wait for another turtle to arrive and then move? Do turtles just push each other up the big log to make room for themselves? Thank you, John and Hank, for your knowledge. Samantha.
I've always thought, John. Yeah, you and I have Mr. Calling. We give them the what's the etiquette lady?
We could have been the etiquette lady but for turtles. Yes, the turtle etiquette. The turtetit. Sorry, it's going to take me a second but I'm going to get there.
The turtetit lady. I really like patience grasshopper. I'm going to get there. You will be the turtetitit lady.
I mean, turtetitit is an amazing title for our new novelty book. Because one thing that we don't think that we're like, look, you've got to follow up everything as to what the turtetit book is. The novelty turtetit book that's just like absolutely committed to the bit where it's just like, here's what you do when you are a turtle. Like John Hodgman did this.
He relates several like absolutely dense complex novelty books. John Hodgman is a bit commitment expert. I mean, wow. But yeah, I don't know.
Like how fast can we get turtetitit out? I don't think it's going to happen. Not fast enough. And also I've got to go to the Philippines tomorrow.
So I got a lot going on. Perfect. Yeah. That's what I should do on my flight.
Just take the great American turtetit novel. That's got to get four scotchinsotas and right in turtetitit. Take a zanax for the fear of flying. Yeah, right.
Then right turtetit. Sixteen hour and ten minute flight in the air. Oh my God, you're going to right turtetitit and turtetitit too. It can't take more than eight hours to right a turtetit.
It's okay. You do it. You do it this weekend. You'll have plenty of time.
I think that the turtles have a sense of etiquette that we do not fully understand. Yeah. Absolutely. And I think that it is your job to become the Jane Goodall of turtle etiquette and observe these turtles closely to see how they move on the wog.
And that will be not the end of your turtle expertise, but the beginning of it. Because from there, I'm sure there's so many other turtle etiquette issues for you to consider. Oh, yeah. They're always doing stuff.
Yeah. How do they when they bury themselves in the sand in the muck in the mud, come winter? Yeah. Do they make space for each other or do the biggest turtles get the best holes?
Do they believe as I do that we have to protect the young or are they in fact like monsters of narcissism? And there's only one way to find out and that is to pay attention. And that's really what I'll be doing because that's what our lives are made of. And we should be paying attention to the blue striped garter snakes and the turtles and the weird games at the fair.
I feel like that's my job sometimes and I'm like, I feel so lucky. Yeah, you get to pay attention for a living. I feel like that's my job too. Good job.
Good work if you can get it. How about this, John? Yeah. A proper turtle never rushes to conclusions or anywhere else.
That's good. That's a really good first sentence of your turtetiquette novel. Thanks. I'm looking at a picture of a garter snake and it's making me sad.
Poor blueberry. Oh, well, you thought I love that you thought blueberry got re-released in the wild. I'm wondering why we have well because he was dead. That's why because if we re-released him into the wild, we would have been re-releasing a corpse.
But I think we told you that because you were still so young and fragile. You were like eight years old and I was 11. So I got I knew about the world. Yeah, I had a certain nine before mom poured a goldfish down the drain.
That's the dark. Let's answer another question from our listeners saying, how about you ask me one? I don't have the dock. Okay, great.
I'll ask you one. Okay. This question comes from Becky who writes, John and Hank, I know people with other bladders removed and I know that people can live without a spleen or a gallbladder and you can lose a kidney and part of your colon and half of your liver. I think you can even live with one lung or with only one hemisphere of your brain, etc.
So what organs do we actually need? More of a curious Becky. I think there's only four. Like there's something there is like a well, you need at least one lung and you need at least one kidney.
No, you need a pancreas really badly. No, you don't need a pancreas. People live without pancreas all the time. What?
I mean, their brains are significantly shorter, but on average. That okay. All right. You so you can live without a pancreas for a while.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. I think brain heart lungs brain heart lungs. I think like I think you need a kidney.
I think you need a kidney long term, but everything. I mean long term. I think you need everything except for your gallbladder. No, I don't have a gallbladder and I feel fine.
Do you definitely don't need one of your kidneys, for example, you don't need one of your kidneys. You don't need one of your kidneys. You don't need a gallbladder. What's that other thing you don't need that people a spleen?
You know a wild thing about spleen, John? Yeah. Sometimes people have traumatic injury to their spleen often times, car accidents or motor cell toxins and then and they'll take the spleen out. And then years later, they will discover that they have more than one new spleen located at non spleen parts of the body.
And what happens is that the spleen when it ruptures releases spleen cells into the body, those cells go and recall and eyes another area of the body and they can still do spleen stuff. Can I tell you a really sad story about spleen? As long as it's not about a pet. No, it's about a human.
It's worse than that. Human child no less. So when I was a chaplain at the Children's Hospital, on my first night on call, this kid came in with a ruptured spleen from a car accident and I threw up and fainted. And when I came to, the nurses were kind of laughing and I was like, what's so funny?
And they were like, well, first off, you threw up and fainted and that girl was fine. You know, like she's she's gonna have a normal life. And secondly, the parents who had just been reassured were like newly traumatized because they thought you were a doctor. Oh boy.
And you got to live with that shame forever. And I feel like I also knew Laura that I didn't know. Yeah. That was tough job.
I wasn't good at it. The rare unpleasant combination of not being not being grated to job that also is a tough job. But yeah, anyway, I did not I did not think after that. That was the only time I fainted.
There are five, five organs that are definitely necessary brain heart lungs liver and kidney. Different kidney. Yeah. Well, I really thought your pancreas was necessary.
It's really, really important. But yeah, yeah, people, people pancreatic cancer patients often have their whole pancreas removed and have to have a bunch of stuff like obviously makes you variously diabetic because you don't produce that right. Yeah, sure. Well, I'm glad we took this turn.
We're having a good time. This podcast contains multitudes, y'all. Sometimes it's red, green and blue, green. Sometimes it's John having flash memories of being a chaplain.
Let's answer another serious one before we get to the all important news from Mars and AFC Wimbledon. All right, John, this next question comes from Raquel who asks, what would happen if the oceans were 50% less salty? High energy but low, sodium, Raquel. No, this is the kind of serious question I've been after, Hank, because I think that life would be dramatically different.
Well, what are we talking about? We're talking about like it happened all of a sudden. Yes, like tomorrow we wake up and the oceans are 50% less salty. We made a terrible mistake and we removed half the salt from the oceans.
I'm a little worried that that that the Earth would end. That's what I'm saying. That like complex life on the planet would collapse. Really?
I'm worried that there might be like atmospheric effects. So like one thing that's going to happen is all the animals in the ocean are going to die. Really bad for the whales. That's going to be bad for everybody.
It's going to stink. It's going to stink. It's going to smell so bad. A huge number of people are reliant on ocean life or, you know, their survival.
Also, maybe a lot of like zooplankton will die. And what would that mean? I don't know what a zooplankton is. Reducing oxygen.
Oh. And zooplankton actually produced a lot of the oxygen. Well, no. Actually, it is in fact not the zooplankton.
It's the, okay. That means like living plankton. Like I think it is the other plankton. It is the one that the photos synthesizing.
That would be the concern. But like maybe not. Maybe they'd all die and just like the cycle would shut down and it wouldn't affect atmospheric chemistry too much. It feels like if we stopped pumping a bunch of the oxygen in the air into the air, that would be a big problem.
There would also be a few things absorbing the oxygen. Like the photosonthes wouldn't be absorbing it. So it might stay. But like I think also that changing it would make the ocean less effective at absorbing CO2.
I mean, if it happened all of a sudden, basically you're talking like a civilizational collapse. I don't know that humans would survive. Now there's another version of this question which is like what would the world have been like if the oceans were half assaulting? It's like probably not that different.
Still would have had life on land, still would have had life in the water. Yeah. Yeah. You got everything you need for chemistry.
Stuff probably would have been a little easier because going from freshwater to saltwater would be easier. Right. It's just a reminder of how fragile and I don't mean to get existential on your hand. But like this whole thing is so fragile.
We think of, we think of civilization and our current situation as being so inevitable. But I don't think it is so inevitable. No. I think it was like required a lot of luck and good timing and that like a bad luck and bad timing could could could be pretty bad for us.
Yeah. Could still happen. It will happen. I mean, you know, I don't want to get ahead of us.
But like it's going to happen. Eventually everything happens. Yeah. Thanks for coming to our party.
You wonder what the worst things about Earth are. Great question. So like, obviously great planet. Really good.
Good size. Yeah. Best planet in the known universe. Very underrated.
Has both water and land. A lot of people are like, wow, a water world. But like, I think, I think most water planets that we find if we go out and are looking. I bet they won't have land.
That is actually probably pretty important for things to have on the way that they did. Yeah. In the water way longer. And none of that stuff figured out how to do technology.
Unless it did and then was like, forget this. This is a bad idea. Well, there are a little octopus towns. So there's kind of stuff.
Sepulopods, I think, maybe figured it out. How long? Yeah. It wasn't worth it.
I wonder about that. I do too. I sometimes I have thought about like, what would a civilization that happened underwater actually look like? And I like running to like physical barriers.
Like, it's just really hard to do a lot of stuff. Yeah. It's hard to build monumental structures. Like, you can't do fire.
So it's hard to control energy. You have to have like, pots of gases instead of pots of liquids. And that's just much harder. Yeah.
Or you take advantage of the tides and use that to create energy somehow. Yeah. Not here. Yeah.
I hear you. It wouldn't be a little. But if it's a pure water world, then what are the tides even? I don't know.
I guess they could. But you're talking about what's good about Earth. I mean, I'm interested in what's bad about Earth. So like, there's all this good stuff.
What's the stuff that's bad? Like, plate tectonics is really important probably for life. But also like, we have plate tectonics, but we have a pretty mild volcanic situation. Right.
I know. I know. I know. So that's not like, I was thinking maybe volcanoes were a bad thing, but like, actually, you kind of like, if you're gonna have plate tectonics, you're gonna have volcanoes.
But our volcanoes are, frankly, pretty insignificant on the global scale. Right. I'm gonna say dip in dots. If we're gonna go to human created things.
Yeah. Yeah. Why not just why not just have ice cream? I probably would have moved beyond dip in dots.
Yeah. I like dip in dots. They feel so weird. Oh, what a bad take.
It's like all the people who wrote into me mad at a match. Yeah. Bad take, man. Bad take.
Pro dip in dots is a bad take. I'm sorry. Everything that I'm ending up with is like the worst thing about Earth is that we could lose it. No.
Yeah. Well, let me let me put it in a different phrase. Okay. We will lose it.
Oh, Jesus. You may be make bed bleep something. Sorry, Ben. All right.
It's time for the all important news from Mars and ASU. And I'll go first and thank guys in our news from Mars. Hank. Yeah.
The news from ASU. And we just keep getting better. It's not just that we keep putting football games is that we're securing our future. We just signed Isaac O'Gendara, who's played for us since he was a kid to a new contract.
And we signed ASU. And we signed ASU. And we signed ASU. And we managed Johnny Jackson to a contract extension and Ashley Bay's, Bayzo, our goalkeeper coach, who's one of the main reasons why we've developed so many great goalkeepers over the years.
He signed a contract extension. And when I said, thank you so much for signing a contract extension, he smiled at me and said, you're welcome. So there you go. I'm very excited about the future of this football club.
I feel like we're really securing it. One contract extension I would love to see is Craig Coop, the head of football, the guy who's organizing all of this behind the scenes, who's responsible for our incredible recruitment and everything. I'd like to see him sign to a lifetime contract. But in the meantime, AFC Wimbledon securing the future of our football club.
That kicks butt, John. Is this the transfer window that people talk about? No, the transfer window opens up on January 1st. So I'm trying to accrue some capital between now and then.
Oh, like, if you're like, you're trying to get money. Yeah, spend you. Yeah, wild. How do you accrue capital?
Well, Hank, there's a number of ways to do it. Okay. Yeah, who knows? Yeah, that's not a book deal.
Signing a book deal is the obvious one. Yeah. But let's move on. Okay.
Well, in news from Mars, I don't know. Yeah, you don't have to have news from Mars. That's okay. It's a rock, man.