Mm-hmm. Cowls. No, this is how not to be a miserable cow, and I am Alice Capra. Today, we are talking about five reasons you have resting bitch face.
What is resting bitch face? I think we all know what that means. But if you need a little definition. Ooh, behavioral scientists at a research institute in the Netherlands have conducted a study proving the existence of the phenomenon that we know as resting bitch face.
You know what, if you don't know what resting bitch face is, it's when your face for no reason whatsoever looks like you just got a parking ticket. You know, it's sort of like... The researchers have discovered that resting bitch face can be traced to two different things. It's either, A, something in a person's face is relaying greater than usual amounts of contempt, or B, that person is a bitch.
But that's why resting bitch... I think the Urban Dictionary has it all laid out here for us. A person, usually a girl who naturally looks mean when her face is expressionless without meaning to. Some of you all are just meaning to.
You have a bitch face because you want to be bitchy, so either way, they both suck. There's a name for you, ladies, but it isn't used in high society outside of a kennel. According to the Mayo Clinic, 70% of Americans are taking prescription drugs. Inobratics, antidepressants, and opioids are the top three prescribed prescription drugs in the US behind the counter of every pharmacy.
You'll find the walls lined with the red and green bottles filled with the perfect elixir for what else you. Take a pill when you're down, an Xanax when you're up, something to take the edge off, or something so you can just check out. This is not to condemn people for taking prescription medication. I've fallen into that hole more than once in my life.
I felt like the only escape from my personal pain was to numb it. This is not an outcry to bash pharmaceutical companies for making the drugs or even the doctors who are overprescribing them. But what I'm hoping is that when you listen to this, that each of us can identify the most silent, but deadly psychological killers of them all. Discontentment.
I'm sure there are a million contributing factors to the emotional dissatisfaction of our culture, but here are the top five reasons I believe that you are discontent. Number one, you are comparing. If you or a loved one is struggling with feelings of discontentment or dissatisfaction in your own life, I have one recommendation. Get off social media for as long as it takes you to feel happy again.
Everybody likes to surf on the web, get on Facebook, blow off some time, sit on the toilet and read a bunch of shit on your Instagram feed, but it comes down to this. If you're using it as a way to compare yourselves to people around you, you are going to constantly feel discontent. Some of us have to use it for business and I get that, and we like to share stuff with people that we have family if they're out of town. I get all that.
Comparing by definition is to estimate, measure or note the similarity or dissimilarity between two things. If you're unable to look at photos of others without comparing your life to those around you, just get off of the computer. I'm a photographer and for the last 12 years, 13 maybe, I've taken wedding photos and family photos of hundreds of people and trust me, no one is as happy or as beautiful as they portray themselves to be online. If giving social commentaries behind every screaming child, every angry wife, every bitter mother-in-law and every shitty dog were lucrative for my photography business, I would share them all with you.
So if you're spending your time comparing yourself to others, you will never be satisfied with yourself. Number two reason that you have resting bitch face or you are discontent is because you are spoiled as fuck. When I say you, I mean we, time for reality check, I am so very sorry to break it to you, but it's time for some very, very harsh reality. I'm guessing that if you are listening to this, then you live in one of the wealthiest nations of the world.
Today when you woke up, I'm guessing that you're in a bed and I'm almost positive that if you are listening to this that you have internet access, most likely on your phone, on your smartphone. Americans have become the most spoiled creatures on the planet. We have been blessed by our forefathers with freedoms that surpassed their wildest dreams. And yet here we sit in a comfortable plush lifestyle, which most of us have squandered into debt while complaining about the temperature of our lattes.
And no, it's not my intention to make you feel like shit, but only help all of us regain some perspective on how truly blessed we are. But I can promise you, if you remain grateful for all the things that you do have, all these things that you do have, you will never be discontent. Number three reason that you have resting bitch face or that you are discontent is you're being offended. Fact, anyone can see when someone's doing something stupid.
Fact, you have no idea why they're doing it. It is completely normal to have opinions regarding a person's personal actions or behavior, although it's best if you keep those opinions to yourself. If you are putting together a motivation for why someone is doing anything, then you are judging them. When we judge one another, a person's motives, why they're doing what they're doing, we only hurt ourselves.
We take offense and ultimately ruin our impression of our potential friends, our partners or our business partners. Even worse, we are destroying relationships with our spouses, significant others and family. Here's a really good example. Let's say you're driving through the neighborhood and you see one of your friends jogging down the street.
You wave at her and she doesn't wave back. Perception, instantly you are offended. How could she be so rude? She must be mad at you because you didn't like her recent post.
In reality, her brother called, his wife died. She went for a run to clear her head. She had no idea that you waved. All she could think about was her niece and nephew.
If you are easily offended, you are judging someone's motives. If you are judging someone's motives, you will always be discontent. Number four reason that you are discontent is boredom. When you woke up this morning, did you ask yourself, how do I feel about getting up?
Did you take time and assess how you were feeling emotionally? How your toes felt, how your knees felt, how your back felt? Are you happy? Why are you not happy?
Why is that bothering you so much? Did you take time and assess how you were feeling emotionally? If the answer's yes, then you have too much time on your hands. Whenever I catch myself finding frivolous things to bitch about, I realize I need to get back to working towards my own goals.
I love that meme. If you see it all over the internet, I've seen it a million times and it's still my favorite. How to be successful. Focus on your own shit.
Most likely the number one reason you are discontent is because you have not found your passion, your mission or set goals for yourself. You wanna be happy and content, set goals, pursue your passion and make a plan. And the number five reason that you are discontent. I think people get bent out of shape over little things because there's something much deeper and much bigger.
Creative insecurity. This one is my favorite. Because I believe over the years I've struggled with this one the most. If you find the corners of your mouth curling when you see the incredible accomplishments of your friends.
If you notice a scrunch in your forehead when people are dishing out compliments to your spouse. If you hear critical thoughts pouring out of your mouth before you even realize you are speaking out loud, your discontentment has overtaken you. Why? I believe creative insecurity is the culprit.
We've all seen it. People who are highly critical of others, putting each other down, making their own dissatisfaction through the intolerance of others and the way they do things. Perhaps they're just feeling shitty about themselves. I spent most of my time in high school in a video editing suite.
I was always editing videos running around with the camera. I graduated film school at 20 years old with the aspiration of making movies. Very quickly after I rushed into getting married, got back home, spent the next four years pissing away my time at internships for random production companies and taking family photos in the park. There's nothing wrong with either of those things.
But I quickly realized I was in a rut and I'd stopped creating art for myself. I've been taking photo shoots of people, standing behind a camera. Everything was very canned. I had people in all the same positions posing doing the exact same things, jumping up in the air.
I was stuck. Meanwhile, with the launch of much cheaper DSLR cameras and well Pinterest, every single girl I went to high school with became a photographer overnight. Over the next few months, I watched their portfolios unfold and I spent a copious amount of time criticizing their work, talking shit about their cheap equipment, their oversaturated filters, and awkward shop composition. Poking fun at them on social media, my space, the time.
For their natural light photography, which just meant that they didn't know how to operate studio lighting equipment or bounceboards. I spent years going to trade shows and building a business and these girls just hopped up on the scene out of nowhere with no training. They were teaching photography workshops. I was critical, rude, and intolerant, anchored because I spent all my time and well money on film school and these girls did not know the first thing about what they were doing.
They picked up a hobby and made it look like a business overnight. I was thoroughly discontent and then it hit me. I was spewing negativity. Meanwhile, what was I doing that was so great.
I hadn't done anything new in months. I hadn't put out anything original or beautiful. I was in a rut. I hadn't moved forward because of my own creative insecurities.
I took a huge slice of humble pie and forced myself to go like, comment, and say one nice thing on each of the photographers work. I might not have liked it, but there was something positive to say about each of them. Then it was back to the drawing board for myself. Time to further my skillset.
So what's the truth? You wanna get rid of rusting bitch face? You wanna be content? Stop comparing yourself to others.
Get some perspective. Be thankful for everything you have. Stop letting everyone else offend you. Find your passion and vision.
Make a plan. Set some goals. Develop yourself. Stop being critical of others.
Focus on your own shit. I promise you, you do those things. You will no longer have a rusting bitch face and you will no longer be discontent.