5. Stop Should-ing Yourself

In this episode, we talk about setting goals and intentions for the New Year. This episode is for YOU especially if you are listening to this 3 weeks into 2021 and have already given up on resolutions. Highlights of Episode Five: Using a “focus word” to set intentions for the new year. Suzanne shares a list of ideas to try for new year goal planning that doesn’t consist of “making resolutions” How Covid changed last year’s goal-setting for 2020, and how our outlook has changed for 2021. Letter writing: writing letters to ourselves can allow us to hold compassion for self and heal our inner child, and how holding the wounded parts of ourselves can soothe our inner child and allow us to feel worthy and good enough. Shame (notice a pattern here? Maybe we should rename our podcast Shame 101) around goal-setting and the choices we make for the new year Action in rest: how “rest” can reset our nervous system, particularly when we hold trauma in our bodies. Why do we internalize things that we feel like we “should” do? How can we break out of this? Ask yourself “ why?” before you make a decision, and question the stories you tell yourself on your worth and justifying your “shoulds”. We break through the “shoulds” of pressure and obligation to fit into societal norms. What’s the difference between “giving up” vs. “adding” things in terms of goal-setting? We talk about finding a balance for restriction focused goals such as dieting and alcohol use. A key strategy for breaking old habits and forming better ones is to find a replacement for the habit you are trying to break. We go down a massive rabbit hole of how well (or poorly) we work through goals if someone gives negative input during the goal-setting process. Detox List - we talk cleaning and organization combined with ADHD hyperfocus and inattention, along with Suzanne’s clutter shame; LeAnn’s car cleaning, elk, and gazpacho. Go "5 why's deep" to get clarity surrounding goal-setting; eliminating black and white thinking; do something in the moment to reset and give ourselves grace; focus on completing one goal at a time; let go of your shoulds and shame. References from the Show: 8 Ways to Detox That Have Nothing to Do With Your Body from @therapyforwomen Unfuck Your Brain with Kara Lowentheil Follow on Instagram: @inattentionpodcast @leannbradshaw_ @amidlifealchemy Contact us with questions or comments: [email protected]